


Only Exception

by scorpion22



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Kind of a AU fic, Love, Mental Health Issues, Multi, OOC Jerome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 16:57:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 96,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5751001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpion22/pseuds/scorpion22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jerome Valeska: Homicidal psychopath, presumably dead. What happens when he comes back and finds his family and Addison Maddux, childhood best friend? Will they turn away from him after everything he's done? Or will they accept the broken boy that they love and begin a new life with the struggles of mental illness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hnw_1999](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hnw_1999/gifts).



> So this story was originally by hnw_1999, but it has been passed onto me. I hope those of you who have been reading it will continue to do so and leave your comments so I know how I am doing. I don't think I will be able to completely fill hnw_1999's shoes, but I am going to attempt to do this story justice.

His first thought waking up was "what the hell is going on..."

He couldn't remember a single thing past killing his father... 'Bastard deserved it,' he thought. His neck hurt like a bitch though... And why was he on a cold metal table, under nothing but a sheet? He sat up and looked around trying to find out where he was. A metal tray sat to the right with a lot of sharp instruments on it. To the left of him there were some cabinets, a sink and some disinfectant wipes... He seemed to be in some sort of doctors office. He got off the table and tried getting to his feet, almost falling on his face the minute he stood up. 

He took one of the lab coats from the corner and put it on his body, making sure to hide the scars that littered his torso and back. He figured that wherever he was, he was there for a reason, but he didn't want to be. So instead of taking the door where he had a high chance of getting caught by somebody, he slowly opened the window and hopped out. He took a few steps into the street, looking back at the building he had just been in. 'The precinct huh? Who wanted me naked on an operating table in there? And they call me a freak,' he thought

He tried to think of places to go, all the while ignoring the dull throbbing in his neck. He thought about going to rob a store for some clothes before realizing that he had absolutely nothing other than this lab coat... No gun, no knife... Then again, his face alone should be enough to get him what he wanted, but he decided against it nonetheless. He continued thinking about places to go, and continued coming up short. 

And then he remembered... Theo Galavan. And everything came flooding back... The charity event, holding Bruce Wayne hostage, getting stabbed... He reached up and lightly touched his neck. That's what that is... He vaguely thought about killing the man, but remembered all the men he had working for him and changed his mind. Where in Gotham could someone like me go... He froze. Charlie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome finds his family

Jerome hesitantly lingered outside the trailer house on the outskirts of Gotham. What was he supposed to say when Charlie opened the door? 'Hey, I know I just got stabbed in the neck and all, but could ya let me in? Thanks.' God... He messed up so bad... All the things he did, he didn't have anyone in mind other than himself. Charlie was probably going to call the cops when she saw him there... 'Oh well... Its cold, and I miss her anyway,' he thought.

Slowly he made his way to the door, and could hear the laughter of small children inside... Chloe and Jackson. He gave three short knocks, getting hit with a fresh wave of anxiety. He heard shushing, footsteps, quiet, the door being unlocked... And it opened.

Silence. Shocked, stunned silence is what he was greeted with. There were a few seconds of panic mixed with anger, and then it melted into relief and sadness. 

"Charlie...?" Jerome started.

"J... What..." Charlie stammered

"Charlie listen to me please... Please... I know I messed up.. I did bad, bad things but.. I'm not gonna hurt you.. Or Oliver or Jax or Chloe... I promise Charlie please just.. Let me in, please," He said it all so fast Charlie could hardly keep up.

"Jerome slow down... Slow down, okay? Breathe. What's going on? I just... I just watched you get stabbed and the news lady said you were dead and..."

"Okay well... I'm standing right here so I'm obviously not. Just please let me in Charlie. Its cold... I'm in a lab coat... Let me in." Jerome said.

"Don't let the kids see you. Not yet. They don't know what happened earlier tonight. Chloe and Jackson dont know the things you've done. Just go straight to my room, and I'll put them to bed." Charlie said

"Where's Oliver?" Asked Jerome

"A friends. Probably getting high with Jake or whatever the little assholes name is. Go." She said, opening the door. Jerome did as he was told, and went straight down the hall to Charlie's room.

He heard Charlie tell the kids to go to bed... Heard their footsteps walk right past the room he was in... Heard their voices, and nothing broke his heart more. After a few minutes of silence, Charlie entered the room, closed the door, and faced him with her arms crossed. 

"Well? Are you gonna tell me what's going on?" Charlie started

"I- I don't know, Charlie. I woke up in the precinct. That's all" Jerome stammered. Charlie sighed.

"J... What am I gonna do with you? Huh? I love you to the moon and back but the things youve done... And laughed about... I just don't know bubba. You can't stay here. You're my brother, and I love you, but this cannot happen." Charlie said

"No... No Charlie please.. Where else am I gonna go? I have nobody other than you..." Jerome panicked.

"You have Addison-"

"Addison isn't you Charlie... She isn't my big sister. And if you make me leave I can't ever see Chloe or Jackson either... Please Charlie... Don't make me leave." Jerome said, tears now shining in his eyes.

"And how do I know you're not just guilt tripping me into giving you a place to stay? What if I'm putting our little brothers and sister in danger by letting you stay-"

"I would never-"

"And you would never kill mom right? That's what you said? You told me you'd thought about it but youd never do it. And look where we are now, Jerome. Look where the fuck we are. You're a murderer, J. You've taken the lives of innocent people without a second thought... And laughed about it. You're sick, J. Very, very sick. You're not insane like everyone says. You're sick and I want to help you... So bad. But I just don't know how..." Charlie said, tearing up now as well.

"Well... In order for me to get better, I'll need a home.. Right?" Jerome offered.

"Yeah... Yeah, you do... Jerome, listen to me carefully. If you pull one, single stunt while you're here, I will not hesitate to call Jim Gordon to come pick your ass up and take you back to arkham. Understood?"

"Yeah... Yeah. Understood." 

"Good. Go get some clothes. Then go to bed. Your room." Charlie said.

".... I love you, Charlie," said Jerome.

"I love you too bubba," Charlie whispered, and hugged him tight, tears now flowing freely down her face. She pushed him away, telling him to get dressed. And with that, he left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome and Charlie have a talk

Jerome didn't sleep a wink that night. He was too stressed and anxious about absolutely everything. What was Oliver going to do when he saw Jerome? Would he disown him? Pretend like he didn't exist? What about if Jim Gordon found out about Jerome's siblings and came asking questions? Jackson and Chloe didn't need that. Would Charlie really rat him out to Gordon? What if Theo sent people out looking for Jerome? There were too many things buzzing in his head for him to even doze. He looked over at the digital clock on his entertainment center. 3:26. 'Damn its late'. He decided to get up and look around the house, see if anything had changed over the last year. 

He got out of bed and left the room that he and Oliver shared. He walked down the hall, passing baby pictures of him and all his siblings, Oliver in little dresses with hair in pigtails, Chloe looking like the angel she was and Jackson making the strangest faces he could possibly manage, Jerome and Charlie the only ones with fire for hair. He passed the guest bedroom, then Chloe and Jacksons, and then entered the living room. The homescreen for the DVD of Tim Burtons The Nightmare Before Christmas was on the TV. Jackson must have been watching it before Charlie made him go to bed. It was his favorite. Chloe had left her My Little Pony playset on the table, Pinky Pie lay abandoned on the ground. Jerome picked the toy up and put it with the rest of the set. Sticky, he thought, wiping his hand on his pants. 

He walked through the living room into the kitchen, stepping on Olivers dogs squeak toy and scaring the shit out of himself. He went in the kitchen and just stood there, looking around, taking in the familiar surroundings. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Charlie enter the kitchen.

"What are you doing up this late?" She asked

Jerome jumped about three feet in the air before answering,

"I couldn't sleep,"

"Yeah well, with the things you've done that doesn't suprise me... What if I had been one of the kids? Coming in here and seeing you standing there. They would've gone crazy and not slept the rest of the night. They miss you," Charlie stated.

Jerome decided to ignore what she had said. It hurt him too much to think about how long it'd been since the last time he saw any of his family. Instead he returned her question from earlier. 

"What are you doing up this late?"

"I heard that loud ass dog toy go off and it woke me up. Came out to get a drink before I went back to bed," Charlie answered.

"When's Oliver gonna be home?" Asked Jerome.

"J, why do you keep asking about Oliver? He'll be home in the morning. Jesus." Charlie said, exasperated.

"Other kids haven't been... Pickin' on him, right? He's okay?" Asked Jerome, hesitantly.

"As okay as a 15 year old transgender kid can be. He's got friends. They stand up for him, he's good. He's alright." Charlie said.

Jerome didn't say anything, only nodded his head and stood quietly. Charlie eyed him up and down. 

"When was the last time you ate? You hungry?" She asked.

He was starving. He didn't know when the last time he had eaten was. But he knew his sister was tight on money and they didn't have much. The kids needed that food so they could pack their lunches.

"No... I might eat later. I'm good," he replied. He wasn't sure when later was but he couldn't eat his family's food after what he'd done. 

Charlie gave him a suspicious look, at which he returned a sheepish grin.

"Go back to bed. Try and get some sleep. I'll tell the kids you're here in the morning. Count on them waking you up." Charlie said.

"Okay... Goodnight Charlie." Said Jerome.

"Night bubba. Love you,"

Jerome only nodded his head in response, suddenly feeling too guilty to deserve his sisters love. He trudged back into his room, hearing Jacksons light snores down the hallway, and got in bed. He looked over at the clock again. 3:34. 'God, I need to sleep. Can't be dead on my feet with Jackson climbing all over me. That's a death sentence.' he thought. He rolled over and lay there for a while, thinking about what was going to happen tomorrow morning. The kids didn't know about the things Jerome had done, but when they found out, they were most likely going to hate him. Just like Oliver was probably going to when he saw him. Jerome decided to let the future figure itself out, and live in the moment with his family for as long as he could. He eventually drifted to sleep with his little siblings on his mind


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome gets a not so rude awakening, Oliver comes home.

Jerome woke up to gentle prodding in his back. He was far too tired to care what it was. Until he heard whispers, that is.

"Watch out for the booboos Chloe. Don't hurt him,"

"I'm not, dummy. Don't tell me what to do. Bossy,"

"Ugh Chloe! Youre doing it wrong. That's not how you wake someone up!" 

"Yes it is!"

"Obviously not or he'd be up already! Look. Lemmie show you. Idiot."

Jerome didn't hear anything for a few seconds, then he heard running footsteps, and all of a sudden there was a heavy weight thrown on top of him and lots of giggling. It was still after that. Jerome peeked open an eye to see Jackson peering down at him over his shoulder. 

"Hey, bubba!" exclaimed Jackson, smiling to show his missing bottom left canine. "Where ya been? Huh? We missed you!"

Jerome just grinned and pulled Jackson over his shoulder, shoving his face into the pillow Jackson giggling like mad. Chloe jumped up onto the bed and threw her arms around Jerome's neck from behind, showing that she was on Jackson's side in their new game.

"Come on, Chloe! Haven't seen you in a year and you're gonna take this freaks side?" He complained

"You're bigger! You don't need help!" Chloe said, sounding funny because of her inability to produce the 'r' sound. 

Jerome laughed and continued to hold Jackson down while Chloe tugged at his neck, trying to give Jackson a chance to get up. Suddenly she stopped, and got a serious look on her face. Confused, Jerome turned to look at her, and Jackson sat up wondering where all the fun went.

"Whats 'a matter Chloe? You ruined the fun!" He said

"Bubba... Why did you leave us again? To go visit with mommy, I mean. Charlie said you wanted to help mommy at the circus, but you didn't look happy when you left. You looked happy all the other times, but not last time. And you were gone waaaayy longer. How come?" She asked innocently.

"Well... I never liked going to visit mom at the circus, Chloe. I only acted like it to make her feel better. But last time I thought maybe if she saw that I didn't want to go, she wouldn't make me. She did anyway, though. So I went," Jerome explained.

"Why were you gone so much longer? The circus only comes for a week... You just said you been gone for a whole year. Thats 52 weeks, my teacher told me. What happened?" 

"Don't worry about it, Chloe. I'm back now, that's all that matters, right? Come on. Want some cereal?"

The three of them made their way to the kitchen, Jackson climbing Jerome like a jungle gym the whole way there. Charlie was already in there, eating some oatmeal at the table. She smiled when she saw the kids so happy again. Jerome's abscense had dulled their sparkle. 'Its obviously back,' she thought to herself as Chloe attempted to show Jerome her "cartwheels," which was just her rolling around on the floor. He made them both a bowl of cereal and sat them down at the table. He watched them eat for a few seconds before he felt a pair of eyes on him. He looked over to see Charlie staring at him.

"What? Creep." He said 

"Aren't you gonna eat?" Charlie asked.

Jerome remembered his reasoning for not eating, and opened his mouth to say he wasn't hungry, but his stomach beat him to it, giving a loud grumbling a noise.

"Eat." Charlie said in a no-nonsense tone.

Jerome reluctantly got a bowl down and began making himself a bowl of cereal.

Almost as soon as he sat down at the table to eat, he heard the front door open and close. He sat up ramrod straight, knowing exactly who it was. 

He heard footsteps going down the hall to his room, heard the door open, heard it shut, then heard the footsteps coming back towards the kitchen. Down the hall, through the living room, and finally... Into the kitchen. Oliver was on his phone so he didn't notice jerome at first, but he turned towards the table and went stiff as a board, face white like he just saw a ghost. He began tearing up and dropped his phone and went to Jerome. He waited until he stood up, and then Oliver wrapped him in the tightest bear hug he could manage, tears flowing freely down his face. This isn't what Jerome was expecting at all... In all honesty, he had expected Oliver to freak out because he was supposed to be dead, or give some angry outburst, calling him a psychopathic lunatic and everything he'd heard before. But this? He would gladly take it. He'd missed his brother.

"What the hell Jerome," Oliver whispered after pulling away, wiping his tears.

Jerome just stood in silence, tears threatining to spill over from his own eyes. 

"What the hell?" Oliver repeated.  
"You're supposed to be d-"

"Oliver..." Charlie interrupted, shooting a glance over at Chloe and Jackson. 

"What? Oh... Jerome..." He turned his attention back to Jerome.  
"I missed you bro..." He admitted

"Missed you too Oliver," Jerome said, now wiping his own eyes.

"Do you wanna... Wanna go play some video games or something? I don't know...." Oliver offered

"Yeah... Yeah, come on." Said Jerome, bowl of cereal completely forgotten. Jackson tried to get up to, but Charlie pulled him back down, saying something about letting Oliver and Jerome spend a little time together. 

They went in their room and Jerome sat on the bed while Oliver pulled his video games out of the closet. He set them on the bed and paused, getting a pained look on his face. Jerome looked at him expectantly.

"Why..." Oliver started.  
"Why did you... Do all those things, Jerome? Throw people off roofs and shoot up precincts... Why did you do all that? Attention? Was it fun? Did you find entertainment in... In killing innocent people... People with lives just like ours? Why, Jerome. That's all I wanna know. Why you did it," Oliver said. 

"I don't know, Oliver. I like the attention... I know that. I like... Being feared... I don't know why. But I do. I like people knowing who I am," said Jerome

"Why couldn't you do something like... Building a homeless shelter or some shit... Why did you have to be feared?"

"I don't know... Its fun," 

"... And mom?"

There was silence. Jerome didn't want to talk about that. In his eyes his mother had deserved everything he had given her. After everything she did to him... He'd be damned if he didn't get her to finally shut her mouth, keep words from coming out and dicks from going in. 

"Are you... You're not gonna do it again, right? You're gonna stay with us?" Oliver hesitantly asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"I'm gonna try Oliver... I don't know," said Jerome

"Oh... Okay well... I just got this game from Jake. Its uh... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon. He said its real good. Also I got some new combat games from my friend Daniel, if you wanna play those..." 

Oliver continued rambling about his games while Jerome looked through the pile and found a weird twist on Alice in Wonderland. 

"Alice: Madness Returns," Jerome read from the cover.  
"The hell is this?" He asked

"Oh dude that games super cool. I shoulda showed you it first. You'll love it," Oliver said excitedly.

"Okay... I guess let's play this one then," said Jerome.

Oliver took the game from Jerome with an excited grin that could match the one that went with the gingers maniacal laugh. He put it in the console and waited for it to load, joining Jerome on the bed.

"Its one player, so I'll take first turn and show you how to play," said Oliver. Jerome nodded in response.

They played mostly all day, only stopping when Chloe entered to give Jerome a present or when Jackson wanted a turn. 

Charlie had left for work, so it was just the four of them left in the house. After they had played for a good seven hours, Jerome and Oliver stepped out back to smoke and watch Chloe and Jackson jump on the trampoline.  
And for that whole day, it had felt exactly how it did a year ago. When Jerome wasnt sick, and wasn't a murderer. When Oliver wasn't so broken by the loss of his big brother. When Jackson and Chloe weren't confused as to where Jerome was and why Oliver and Charlie were so sad.  
Today felt normal, regardless of the inevitable talk he, Charlie, and Oliver needed to sit down and have about Jerome and how to get him help. For now, everything was okay. And for the first time in a year, Jerome Valeska was deeply, truly happy. Now, all he needed was his girl.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome has a nightmare and makes a plan.

*this chapter has graphic descriptions of abuse. If that is a trigger for you, or you find it uncomfortable, just skip down to the line of hyphens and begin there*

'What in the world are they doing in there,' thought Jerome. It was the afternoon of his ninth birthday, and his mother hadn't come out of her room a single time so far today. A twelve year old Charlie came out of the small room that she, Jerome, Olivia, and baby Jackson all shared.   
"Happy birthday bubba," she said solemnly. "You know... There's no point waiting for mommy. She probably doesn't even know its your birthday. Come back in the room." She said

"No... Its too small. I'll stay here. I'm not even waiting for her... I know she's not gonna say it..." He said sadly.

Charlie turned around and went back into the room. She took Olivia, who was wearing Jerome's clothes, and carried Jackson outside, saying they needed some fresh air. Jerome stayed inside. 

When they left, his mom came out of her room with a big man who had lots of tattoos, and they were looking at him real mean... 'Oh no,' he thought. 

"You been sittin' there all mornin' boy? Listenin' in on your momma's doin's? Little pervert. I'll show you what happens to little boys who spend all day listenin' to they're momma moanin' in the next room. Get yer ass up boy," said the snake man.

Jerome only shook his head and looked to his mother for help. Help he should've known he wouldn't receive.

"Well? Do as he tells you boy! Get up!" She yelled.

Jerome slowly stood and made his way over to the man three times his size, only to get knocked to the floor by a large tattooed hand. He yelped and tried to get back up, but was held down by an enormous weight. He heard a grunt before he felt his shirt being ripped off. He was pinned onto his stomach with his hands being held to the ground over his head. He heard the clink of a belt being taken off and saw his mother sit on the couch and light a cigarette out of the corner of his eye, and he briefly wondered why she wasn't helping him. He didn't have much more time to think, though, as he heard a loud crack and felt an extremely sharp pain shoot through his entire body. He cried out and tried to wiggle away, but it was no use. The man sitting on top of him was too heavy. 

"This'll teach ya boy. Sit on that couch while your mommas gettin' busy again and you won't be able to sleep for a month," growled the snake man. Jerome felt crack after crack of the belt on his back, feeling the blood oozing out and the tears stream down his face. It hurt him so much more to know that his mother was sitting here watching this man beat him, with a cigarette hanging out of the smirk on her face. 

Finally Jerome felt the blows stop, the weight raise off his body. He felt a sharp kick to his sides, and heard a voice above him, vaguely registering it as the snake mans. 

"I'll be back boy. Let me find you sittin' on that damn couch next time I come outta your mommas room, see what happens. I ain't gonna let you off this easy, that's for damn sure," he growled. "C'mon Lila. Taught 'em enough for now," he dragged her up by her arm and she giggled.

"Go clean yourself up Jerome. Don't get blood in my carpet," she said before disappearing back into her bedroom with the snake man.

Jerome pulled himself up off the floor, fresh tears streaming down his face at the effort. He went into the bathroom to follow his mothers orders, and examined his back and rinsed it off under the shower, painfully, before going and changing his clothes so he could leave the trailer. He sat down on the steps outside the front door, prodding at the bruise spreading across the left side of his face. Soon, Mr Cicero, the blind fortune teller, passed by.

"Why are you crying, Jerome?" He asked. Jerome vaguely wondered how Mr Cicero knew it was him.

"Its my birthday, and my mom and the snake guy are beating me," he whimpered, staring at the ground. Mr Cicero slowly exhaled before kneeling in front of Jerome and answering.

"This world doesn't care about you or anyone else, Jerome. Better to realize that now," And he walked away, leaving Jerome to sit there and wait for his siblings to come home.  
\--------------------------------------  
Jerome woke with a start, shaky and covered in sweat. He looked over at Oliver, who was staring at him with a concerned look on his face. He sat up, absentmindedly feeling his back, making sure all the wounds were still healed. The nightmare had seemed so real that he had tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He could still feel the pain from the belt clear as day. 

"J?" He heard Oliver say his nickname hesitantly.  
"You okay?" He asked

Jerome made a noise and mumbled incoherently.

"What?"

Jerome stared at the sheets angrily before looking at him.

"I'm fine, Oliver. Go to sleep." He half-growled, irritated for being seen having a nightmare. It made him feel weak. And he wasn't weak.

"Yeah but... You're all sweaty and you were whimpering and stu-"

"Go to sleep, Oliver." Jerome said, now thoroughly pissed off. Oliver gave him a sympathetic look before rolling over to face the wall. He knew what Jerome was dreaming about. He also knew that Jerome never talked about it, and he never would, and Oliver understood that. He didn't like talking about the abuse he had suffered as a child either. None if them did. Luckily, Chloe hadn't been old enough to remember very well, and Jackson... Well, they got Jackson away just in time. He still remembered that day their mom had kicked them out. Charlie had just turned 18, Jerome was 15, he was 12, Jackson was 6, and Chloe was 3. 

His mother had been tired of handling them. Always complaining about how Charlie never did anything but fight with her, how she was sick of hearing about Jerome getting in fights with the other boys in the circus, how she was tired of Oliver always acting like a boy and dressing and talking like one, how Jackson was always making messes in the trailer and no one ever cleaned them up, and how Chloe cried too much and asked for too much. So, as soon as Charlie turned 18, she kicked them all out, her reasoning being that now since Charlie was a legal adult, she could take all the kids away and go live on their own, since all Charlie and Jerome talked about was how much they wanted to leave. Charlie had been stunned at first, but had packed her and the kids stuff nonetheless, and gone to live with their uncle Curtis who conveniently lived in Gotham, where the circus was currently visiting. They had stayed there for two weeks when Curtis had said they could live in his old trailer house a few miles down the road, and he wouldnt ask for rent, and he'd pay the electric and water bills. So, here they all were, in the tiny rundown trailer, free of their mothers abuse. She had still called Jerome back every week she was in Gotham, for what Oliver didn't know. All he knew was that the last time she called him back, he never came home. Instead, he ended up in Arkham Asylum. 

He wanted to ask Jerome why he did what he did. And not just killing their mother... That was actually slightly understandable. He wanted to know why he threw those men off the roof of the Gotham Gazzete. He wanted to know why he tried to blow up a school bus full of cheerleaders. He wanted to know why he killed the commissioner and the deputy mayor. He wanted to know why he held Bruce Wayne hostage. He wanted to know how he got stabbed... And he wanted to know how he was alive.

He wanted to know all these things, but it didn't matter what he wanted. Jerome was probably never going to tell him. He knew Jerome found great entertainment in hurting others. Killing them. And he knew it wasn't normal... But Jerome had never done anything like that in his life. He would figure it out one day, whether from Jerome or Charlie, or figuring it out himself. He would figure it out. He would make Jerome normal again, where he wouldn't have to be hidden from the public. He'd talk to Charlie about seeing if their aunt Kristen could come check him out, seeing how she was a psychiatrist. She could give him medicine. And that would make him normal again. It would fix him. Oliver fell asleep to the thoughts of his brother being okay and not having to be on the run because he was a murderer.

Jerome, however, didn't sleep at all the rest of the night. He kept having to fight off the urge to call Addison. She was the only one who could take away the pain of his nightmares. She always had been, ever since the first night she slept over in his trailer. She visited him every year when the circus was in Gotham. They would spend all week together, and then Jerome would leave again. But when his mom kicked them all out, he and Addison became inseparable, and one night, they had been sitting in his room, and he had kissed her. Just because he wanted to. He didn't know the beauty of what he had just created at the time, but soon realized that he loved her, and would never let her go. Unless she asked him to, of course. Then, he would have to leave her be. But she hadn't asked yet, and if he was going off of what she had told him, she loved him just as much as he loved her. But he didn't know how she would feel about him now, and that's why he couldn't let himself call her. He would just have to suffer through it and think of a way to earn her forgiveness. And since he could no longer sleep, he thought about it until he heard Charlie bustling around in the kitchen, and decided to make his move


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome finds Addison

Chapter Text

Jerome got out of bed and shuffled to the door, careful not to wake Oliver. 'If he's actually sleeping... Sneaky little shit,' Jerome thought. He slowly opened it and walked down the hall into the living room, sunlight beginning to spill through the windows. He found Charlie in the kitchen.

"Hey Charlie..." Jerome started

"Mornin' bubba... Why are you up so early?" Charlie asked, making herself a cup of coffee.

"I uh... I had a question for you," Jerome said hesitantly. Charlie glanced over at him, giving him a look that said 'continue'.

"I was wondering if you could uh... If you could call Addison."

Charlie gave him a confused look. "Why?" She asked

"Because, I want to see her,"

"Then why don't you call her?"

"I'm afraid she won't come if she knows I'm here,"

"So... You want me to make her think she's coming over here to hang out with Oliver or something, and then you're gonna answer the door? Give her a damn heart attack?" Charlie asked, going back to her coffee.

"Well... No, I was just gonna walk in the room when she got here... Look Charlie. I just need to get her over here. I need to know if she hates me for what I did,"

"And, you can't just call her and ask?"

"If she does... I want to see her at least one more time before she starts pretending I don't exist," he said, looking at the ground.

"Jerome, Addison loves you. She'll probably be ecstatic to find that you aren't actually dead. According to Oliver, she's kind of been ignoring everyone's phone calls and texts since you were 'killed' the other night. I'll try and call her, I guess. Tell her Oliver wants to play a new video game. I gotta get to work. Let me know how it goes when I get home okay? Love you," Charlie said, patting his arm and walking out of the kitchen, leaving Jerome to his thoughts. 'What the hell did I just do...' 

He hopped in the shower and scrubbed every inch of himself he could reach, and brushed his teeth while he was in there like he always did. Oliver said it was weird but Jerome didn't care. 'Saves water,' he thought. 

He went into his room to find Oliver on the bed playing a game. He got dressed in a black and gray T-shirt, dark gray pants, and his black Vans. 

"Whatcha dressin' up all snazzy for?" Oliver asked, barely looking over from his game. 

"This isn't snazzy Oliver, and if you think it is, I don't suggest dressing yourself for any job interviews. Addison's coming over. Have any games she hasn't played?"

"Addison? Why?"

Jerome ignored him. "Answer my question," he said, sitting on the bed. 

"Um... Yeah I got some from Daniel, I told you. Why?"

"Because. Charlie said she would call her and tell her that you wanted to show her a new game you got." Jerome explained 

"Yeah but... I didn't want to- wait Jerome, Addisons ignoring everyone. She hasn't answered any of my calls... She's mourning, bro. She thinks you're dead. You really think she's gonna come over to see some video game?" Oliver asked incredulously.

Jerome froze... 'Shit, he's right. Little bastard,' he thought. He picked up Oliver's phone and selected Charlies name out of his contacts. 

"Hello?" Charlie answered. 

"Are you at work yet?" Jerome asked

"No, I stopped to get donuts... Why?" 

"Addison's ignoring everyone... Shes not gonna answer your callls. Oliver also pointed out to me that she's 'mourning' over the loss of me," he paused to glare at him, "and she's not going to come over to play a video game." He explained. 

"Well, what are you gonna do then?" Charlie asked, voice muffled by what Jerome assumed was a donut. 

"What am I gonna do?"

"Yes Jerome. You. Shes your girlfriend, you want her over. What are you going to do?" Charlie asked again.

"I don't know..." He paused. "Yeah I do. Nevermind. I'll see you when you get home." And he hung up without hearing what she had to say 

"Get dressed. We're going to Addison's," Jerome said, throwing some pants at Oliver. 

"We?" Oliver asked. 

"Yeah, we, now get dressed. I have an idea."

They got Chloe and Jackson ready and dropped them off with their uncle Curtis, making sure they knew not to say anything about Jerome just yet. 

After that they made their way the 6 miles down the dirt road to Addison's house. When they got there, they made sure her dad was at work, before Jerome had Oliver knock on the door while he stood off to the side where Addison couldnt see him. She opened the door, and Jerome noted the redness of her eyes and her blotchy skin. She's been crying, he thought. 

"Hey, Addison," he heard Oliver start. "How're you doin'?"

She sniffled before answering.   
"I'm alright... How are you? Why are you here so early? Everything okay?"

"Um... Yeah, actually... Things are great. I uh... Brought something that might cheer you up a little... It could also really piss you off though, so..." He trailed off.

"What is it? It better not be an animal, Oliver... My dads still pissed about the random ass kittens you dropped over here when I failed that chemistry exam," Addison said.

"No its... Its not an animal. Um.. Come out now, I guess..." Oliver said hesitantly. 

Jerome slowly came out from the side of the porch and stood next to Oliver, a deer-in-headlights look on his face. Addison looked like she might faint.

"J..." She whispered. "You're.. What... You're dead, how are you..." She trailed off, noticing the wound on the side of his neck.

"I don't think I was dead... I woke up in the precinct. That's all I uh... That's all I know," Jerome explained.

Addison came out and shut the door, walking closer to Jerome. She took his face in her hands, slightly turning it so she could examine his neck, tears gathering in her eyes. 

"You scared the shit out of me, Jerome," She whispered before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, one hand on the back of his head.  
He wrapped his arms around her waist and tried to keep his own tears at bay. He hated crying. His mom always told him it was a sign of weakness. He knew better now, but he still felt foolish doing it. 

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into her neck. They both knew he was apologizing for so much more than just "dying". Addison chose to save that discussion for a later time and pulled away from his chest, cupping his face and kissing him chastely. Oliver smirked and let himself in the house, making his way back to the guest room they all hung out in. Jerome kissed her back before she pulled away, stroking his cheek with her thumb. 

"I missed you," she said, pressing her forehead to his. He didn't say anything back, just looked her in the eye and let his eyes do the talking for him. He kissed her again before leading her inside before some nosy neighbors saw him. They went past the guest room where they could hear Oliver watching one of his weird cartoons and entered her room. It was exactly how he remembered it, only there were clothes all over the floor and a small trash bin full of tissues in the corner. 

"Ignore the mess... I haven't really been doing much lately..." She said looking around, knowing he wouldn't really care anyway. He just looked at her, his eyes full of guilt, an emotion she wasnt sure he was actually able to feel. Sure, he'd apologized for things before, but seeing him do those things on TV made her wonder just how good of an actor he actually was, and if he had been sincere in all the things he had said to her since they'd met. 

She lay down on her bed and gestured for him to come over from where he was standing awkwardly near the doorway. He moved to her bed and lay down next to her, putting his head on her chest, suprising her. It was always her head on his chest, and her hair in his face. Sometimes they would wake up like this, but he had never really initiated it before. 'Maybe he wants to be held,' she thought. She didn't really care either way, as long as he was here with her. She didn't know how he was here, or how he was acting so... Normal after everything he'd done. She didn't know if she should be scared of him. She didn't know who the real Jerome was... The one she saw on TV or the one she'd known since she was 9. But she did know that he was here, in her bed, with his head on her chest. She knew she could feel his feathery red hair between her fingers. She knew she could hear him sniffling, and could feel wetness seeping through her t-shirt. She knew he was real, and knew he was breathing. That was enough for her right now. As long as he was with her. 

They lay like that for a while, his head on her chest and her fingers running through his hair, until she heard his breathing even out and the sniffling stop, letting her know that he had fallen asleep. She moved her hand down to the back of his neck and held it there, letting sleep take her for the first time in three days.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome gets a visitor.

Addison woke up to a loud thumping noise followed by a grunt. She reluctantly opened her eyes and looked around, finding nothing. She was just about to blame the noise on part of a dream when Oliver stood up, scowling at something on the ground. He slowly looked over at the bed to see Addison glaring at him, and gave her a sheepish grin and a slight wave. 

"Mornin'," He whispered. 

Addison didn't reply; only continued glaring. 

"We gotta go. We left the kids at Curtis' and he's gonna have to leave for his nightshift soon," Oliver explained. 

"Nightshift? What time is it?" Addison whispered, careful not to wake a still sleeping Jerome.

"Bout 5:30... Maybe 6, now. I was gonna come in here earlier... Got caught up watching TV though. Lucky you," He said casually. 

"Does Curtis know about him?" Addison asked, referring to Jerome.

"No. Don't tell him either. I don't know why but... Jerome doesn't feel like its a good idea for him to know. Maybe he thinks Curtis'll pull the whole 'good Samaritan' card and turn him in because he's a threat to the public. I mean, I don't think hes a threat, but my opinion may or may not be a little biased." Oliver said, glancing at the ceiling. 

Addison didn't answer, just looked down at Jerome, trying to figure out a way to wake him up without him getting pissy. Then again, maybe there wasn't one. 

"Ten minutes. Then we gotta go," Oliver said, leaving the room. 

Addison looked back down at Jerome, briefly wondering if she would be dealing with a homicidal psychopath when she woke him up. She quickly pushed those thoughts away though, forcing herself to remember the boy with the tear stained face she met at the circus all those years back. She ran her fingers through his hair until he began to stir, and whispered gently in his ear.

"Jerome," 

He only grunted and pressed his face into her neck. She couldn't help the small smile that formed on her lips.

"J, baby, wake up. You and Ollie need to get the kids from Curtis."

Jerome mumbled something she couldn't understand.

"What?"

"Why can't Oliver go get 'em and take 'em home?" He slurred, slightly pulling his face out of her neck.

"He's going to, but you need to go with him. Nathan will be home soon anyway," she said, slightly grimacing at the thought of her father.

Jerome groaned and rolled over onto his back, slinging an arm across his face. He lay like that for a few minutes trying to wake himself up, with Addison drawing small circles on his chest with her finger.

"Why don't you just come home with me then? Your dads not gonna care," Jerome said

"True," she answered, before a thought crossed her mind.   
"How did you get all the way over here without anybody seeing you?" 

"Addy... It was 8:00 in the morning on a Tuesday. Everyone was at work. Now though... It might be a problem." He sighed.

Addison looked around her room thoughtfully for a moment, eyes landing on some of Jerome's stuff he had left the last time he was there.   
"You have some stuff over there in the corner. Just put the sunglasses on... And the hat, to hide that flame on your head," she said teasingly. 

Jerome slowly got up and sat on the edge of the bed before standing and making his way to the corner to grab his stuff, then went to the door, pausing to glance at Addison and nod his head towards the door. She happily got out of bed and walked over to him, giving him a quick peck on the lips before exiting down the hallway. They left the house, Jerome stopping to grab Oliver, and went on their way to Curtis'. Jerome hid on the side of the house while Oliver and Addison retreived Chloe and Jackson. They knocked four times, and Jackson answered the door.

"Time to go, buddy," said Oliver. 

"Okay, lemmie get my shoes," Jackson said, walking off and leaving the door open. Chloe came out at the sound of her brothers voice, yelling her goodbye to Curtis. He came to the door to see where they were going. 

"Ah... Hey, Addison. Good to see ya. You doin' alrigh'?" Asked Curtis, in his thick southern drawl, his red hair sticking up in every direction.

"Yes sir. You?" Addison asked, giving nothing away that his nephew was less than 15 feet away.

"Yeah I reckon I'm doin' just fine. Come to pick up the kids, I assume?" He asked, turning his attention to Oliver.

"Yeah... Its about time for your shift isnt it?"

"Oh I got 'bout another half hour 'fore I should start gettin' ready." He said, looking behind him

"Oliver," Chloe said, tugging on the hem of his shirt to get his attention. "Where's Jer-"

"Jackson?" Oliver said, cutting her off. "Didn't you hear him? He said he had to go grab his shoes and he'd be out," he said, giving her a look and hoping Curtis wouldn't notice. Addison took her hand and started walking her down the street towards Jerome's house. Jackson came out shortly and ran after them, and Oliver waited for Curtis to shut the door before telling Jerome to "go catch up with them before he comes back out here." 

"There you are! I tried to ask about you but Oliver interrupted me," Chloe said when Jerome ran up beside them, taking Addison's hand in his.

"Well that," Oliver began, "was because you weren't supposed to say anything about Jerome, remember? If anybody finds out he's here they'll take him away again, but this time he won't come back. You guys didn't say anything while we were gone, did you?"

"No," Jackson answered. "Curtis slept most the day anyway. We watched TV,"

"Go figure," said Jerome irritatedly, glaring off to the side. Addison gave him a concerned look before turning her attention to Jackson. 

"What did you guys watch?" She asked.

"Lots of stuff... I tried to watch Power Rangers but Chloe wanted Doc McStuffins and we got in a fight so Uncle Curtis put a movie on. I don't know what it was called but this little fox was friends with a huntin' dog." Jackson said excitedly.

"It was The Fox and the Hound, dummy," Chloe said.

"He didn't tell us that!" Jackson said defensively.

"He didn't have to. You could figure it out just by watching it! A fox and a hound. What else would they call it? The Iron Giant?" Chloe asked.

"Shut up, Chloe," Jackson muttered, his mood dampened from being belittled by his little sister. 

They continued their walk to the  
house, Chloe asking Jerome for a piggy back ride halfway there. He squatted down to help her onto his back, but didn't hesitate to pull Addison's hand back into his as soon as he stood. After around twenty minutes they arrived, Chloe sliding off Jerome's back and running into the house, Jackson hot on her tail. The older children mentally noted that Charlie's car still wasn't in the driveway, making sure to remember if she wasn't home within the hour. They entered the house and Jerome and Addison immediately went to his room, while Oliver gave them some space and went out back to smoke.

Jerome lay down on the bed, and was only mildly surprised when Addison straddled him, placing his hands on her waist. 

"Have you eaten today?" Addison asked.

"No, but I did yesterday," Jerome answered truthfully. "You haven't either today... Hungry?"

"Nah... Maybe later," she said, and leant down to plant a kiss on the wound on his neck. "It hurt?" She asked, cautiously. Jerome shook his head, pulling her chin up to make their lips meet. 

She kissed him back, lightly moaning when his tongue slid across her bottom lip, asking permission to enter her mouth. She parted her lips slightly, and his tongue pushed its way in, moving with hers. He had so many things he wanted to tell her, so many apologies, but he didn't know what to say or how to say it. He knew that there was no justifying anything he had done. He told himself he'd figure it out eventually, but it'd been three days since he'd come home and hadn't come up with a single thing. For now, he made the same decision he had made earlier and chose to 'figure it out later,' moving his lips down to her neck, placing open mouthed kisses on her jugular and licking down to her collar bone, causing her to moan. She moved her fingers to his hair pulling him away, telling him to wait until the kids weren't home. He groaned and let his head fall back to the pillow, raising a hand to push a strand of dark brown hair out of her face. 

"I missed you," he whispered. 

She looked at him sympathetically before placing a kiss on his forehead and stroking his cheek.

"I missed you too baby. So much,"

She kissed his lips one more time before laying her head on his chest, only to lift it back up again when she heard little footsteps running down the hall and stopping at Jerome's door. 

Chloe entered the room with a small piece of paper in her hand, and handed it to Addison with a giggle before running out of the room. Addison sat up, still straddling Jerome and now feeling a half-hard buldge pressing into her backside, giving Jerome a look that said 'really?', watching him raise an eyebrow before she looked down at the paper Chloe had handed her.

"Addison Maddux," she read out loud, "you have been invited to Chloe's tea party in the living room... Right now," she said, laughing at the invitation. "P.S: bring bubba with you," she looked at Jerome who had a slightly irritated look on his face from having his time with Addison interrupted. She just giggled and climbed off of him, patting his chest.

"Come on 'bubba,' you were invited too," 

Jerome reluctantly got out of bed and walked past her down the hall, a slight scowl on his face when he sat on the couch. 

"Quit pouting," Addison whispered, walking past him. Chloe looked extremely pleased that the "big kids" had taken her invitation seriously.

"Was Oliver invited?" Jerome asked

"Nope!" Chloe said, sounding very satisfied.

"Why not?"

"Because then you two won't pay attention to the party. You'll just talk to each other the whole time and it'll just be me and Addison,"

"Its been just you and Addison before," Jerome pointed out

"Yeah, but Addison hasn't been gone for a year," Chloe said solemnly. 

Jerome was about to say something back before an extremely anxious looking Charlie came in the door, with am extremely angry looking Jim Gordon behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim makes a decision.

"Chloe, sweetheart.. Go to your room for a little while okay? You and Jackson play some games or something," Charlie said, trying to keep the anxiety out of her voice. 

"Yeah but... We were gonna have a tea party," Chloe tried to argue, knowing it was no use. 

"You can... You can have one later okay? Just... Go to your room for a bit. I'll come get you guys when you can come out,"

Chloe reluctantly walked past Charlie down the hallway, eyeing the man behind her.

Jim looked at Jerome lividly, at Addison and Charlie. Nobody even knew where to begin. And just when it couldn't get any worse, Oliver had to choose right then to come inside, entering the living room and knowing exactly who the man behind Charlie was. 

"Wha- what's he doing here?" He asked, fear evident in his tone.

"He uh... He showed up at the office, saying that he'd gotten a call from a man named Curtis Bell... Telling him Jerome was alive... Telling him where he was and who was housing him..." Charlie explained.

"Jerome," Jim began, "I vaguely remember you telling me you didn't have any family besides your mother. Why?" He asked sternly.

"Um... Be- because... I didn't..."

"Didn't what, Jerome? Didn't want them to know what you'd done? Didn't want them to know how you'd taken, not just your mother, but theirs as well? Didn't want-"

"Detective Gordon I killed my mother because she abused us all. Her and all her 'friends'," Jerome attempted to reason.

"Yes, I'm aware of this but murder is murder, Jerome. Which is why I'm going to have to ask you to come with me,"

"No!" Oliver shouted, "No, no, no, Gordon please. Please don't take him back... We just... He just came home please don't take him,"

"And I assume you're another one of his siblings?"

"Yes I'm... I'm his little brother. Please Gordon... I'm begging you. Just... Just hear us out? Okay?" Oliver said desperately, trying to keep his brother from being taken away again. "Just... The five of us can sit here, and we can... We can talk and figure something out right? Please, Gordon..." 

"Five of us? Whos this?" He asked, gesturing to Addison. "Another sibling?"

"No... I'm his girlfriend," Addison piped up for the first time since Jim and Charlie had entered the room.

"Great. Homicidal lunatic's got a little girlfriend," Jim retorted.

"Look Detective... There are... There are ways we can make this work... He's sick, he just needs help. We can get him that help," 

"Yeah? And so can Arkham. Get up, Jerome. Let's go,"

"What's going on?" Jackson came out from the hallway, seeing the man in uniform and immediately understanding.

"God dammit Jackson I told you and Chloe to stay in the room," Charlie said frustratedly. "Go. We'll figure this out. Go to your room,"

Jackson went, tears spilling over his eyes at the thought of what was about to happen... All over again.

"Detective, please... Just sit. We can go over everything... Get it all figured out... Please, I'm begging you," Oliver said, breaking down for the second time in three days. 

"I'll sit, kid, but you're not going to say anything that will change my mind. Your brother has killed your mother, and father, depending on who yours is, thrown seven men off the roof of the Gotham Gazzette, tried to light a bus of cheerleaders on fire, shot up the precinct, killed Sarah Essen, killed the deputy mayor, and attempted to kill Bruce Wayne. That's a very long list. And I trust you'll have a very hard time justifying anything on it," Jim said, reluctantly taking a seat on the couch opposite Jerome and his siblings, and Addison. 

"I don't expect to, sir, just offer some solutions other than Arkham," Oliver proposed, taking a seat on Addison's left, while Charlie took hers on Jerome's right. 

"Okay so... In order for this to work, you gotta hear us out... Please," Oliver said. Jim only gave a short nod, not being able to believe that he was actually sitting with Jerome and his family rather than pushing him into a squad car.

"Jerome is sick. Now wait... I know, you might say 'sick' is an understatement. And in a way... It is. He's broken... But broken things can be fixed. And in all honesty detective, if we want Jerome to get help, Arkham isn't the place to send him. I know... I know you don't care what happens to him. But... We need him, Gordon. He's our brother... We already went one year without him and I was almost sent over the edge. Over the edge as in like... Where Jerome is at right now. He's our family, regardless of how sick he is. He hasn't always been this way, detective, I can promise you that... We can get him help. We can make him better and that's why we didn't turn him in to GCPD when he came to us. Because we know someone who can help," Oliver finished his speech.

"And who would this be?" Jim asked, not very interested in what the child was offering.

"Our aunt Kristen. Shes a psychiatrist specializing in personality disorders and psychopathy," Oliver explained.

"Psychopathy. How convenient." Jim said, unamused.

"Yeah it... It doesn't sound very believeable considering the circumstances but... She is."

"Listen kid... What's your name?" Oliver told him. "Oliver. Even if Jerome can get the help you say he needs, he still needs to be punished for his crimes," 

"Well... Actually, detective..." Charlie spoke up, "Jerome only committed one of the crimes on your list at his own free will, which was killing our mother. All the others, he was under the control of Theo Galavan. He's not innocent, by any means, seeing as how he thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing at the time, but he was under the control of a psychopath bigger than him. More controlling... More manipulative... And Jerome, in falling for his tricks, ultimately got himself killed. Well... So we thought. But he was still stabbed in the neck. Enough to learn a lesson,"

"Yes. That is true. But he did still kill your mother of his own free will, and must face the consequences for his actions,"

"Detective you keep saying this, but Arkham isn't where Jerome needs to be. What if he had been three months younger? Then he would still be a minor, and he wouldn't be facing these punishments, correct? He would get sent to a psychiatric hospital possibly to get the care he needed, and then he would be released back out to the public. But since hes 18, he doesn't get the opportunity to get the help he needs."

"He will get it at Arkham," 

"No, he won't! Do you know what happens there? The guards beat up the inmates. Most of the time, for no reason. They treat them cruelly. And they feed them worse food than they do to prisoners at Blackgate. And they don't give them the medicine or environment they need to get better. Arkham... It'll just make him worse. And we don't want him worse, and he doesn't want to be worse. We can help him, Gordon. Just let him stay and... And if he screws up, does anything illegal... You can come pick him right up. Right Jerome?"

Jerome nodded his head slowly, chewing the side of his thumb. 

Jim sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.  
"Oliver, I may be putting you, your siblings, and the public in danger by allowing him freedom-"

"I promise you, sir, you wouldn't be putting anyone in danger. We will call our aunt over, and she can give him therapy and medication in an environment he's comfortable in, ensuring his safety as well as ours."

"Jerome you aren't saying much, considering we usually can't get you to shut up," Jim pointed out.

"I don't... See a reason to say anything. You're either gonna let me stay or not, and I know which option you're leaning towards. Putting up a fight, with you of all people, on this subject, is pointless, in my eyes. I know you're taking me back," Jerome said, trying to fight tears and failing.

"Please..." Chloe said, entering the living room. Charlie just sighed and put her head in her hands. "Please don't take bubba... We love him," she begged, crying as well. 

"Your brother has done-" Jim started 

"Detective Gordon," Charlie interrupted. "Chloe close your ears. Stick your fingers in them.... The little ones don't know what Jerome has done," she explained.

"Why not?" Jim asked, looking surprised.

"Because, they're six and nine. They don't need to know about that stuff at all just yet, let alone their brother doing it. In their eyes, you're just a man taking Jerome away because you want to. Just like our mother had done to him. That's how they see it. And it hurts them even more," She reached over and pulled Chloe's fingers out of her ears.   
"Go back to your room, sweetheart."

Jim sighed at seeing a 21 year old having to raise her four younger siblings and hold up a job to keep everything in place. He knew that had to be hard... It was hard for most 21 year olds to just get started in the real world. And Charlie... Charlie was started, and raising four children while she was at it. He had half a mind to place the children in foster care, but reminded himself that they were safe, happy, and well provided for. 

"What's your name?" Jim asked, referring to Addison. "Addison," he said when she answered. "He's your boyfriend. Do you have anything to say on the matter?"

"Nothing other than you would be making a massive mistake by taking him back to Arkham."

"Detective..." Oliver tried one last time. "Jerome can stay... He can get help, he can be safe... He isn't a threat right now, and he definitely won't be when he gets put on medication. And... You can come check on him every once in a while-"

"Like a parole officer? Kid, that's not my job," Jim said

"It doesn't have to be... Can't you just come for a few minutes every couple days, personally? Just to make sure he's being good. Then you can leave and go do your cop stuff. Just... Please, detective... Just one chance. That's all I'm asking for. Just give him one,"

Jim actually seemed to be thinking this over. But every time he almost said yes, he saw the kids smiling face, heard his laugh, remembered Sarah Essen dying right before his eyes. And these kids... They were literally begging him to let Jerome stay. They loved him... And if he was really that crazed lunatic all over television, they wouldn't. They would be scared of him. But they weren't... A six year old little girl was begging Jim not to take him away. And he was actually considering this. It could cost him his job... And he was considering it. 

"I could get fired, Oliv-"

"Yeah but... They don't have to know that you were here. They don't have to know you did anything for us. If he gets himself arrested, none of us will snitch that it was you who let him go,"

"But if he gets himself arrested, Charlie here will be arrested for housing a fugitive, and you and your siblings will be placed in foster care. Or with your father's... You all have different fathers, correct?" Jim asked

"Um... Charlie and Jerome have the same father... But he died at sea. My father is in Oklahoma, and Chloe and Jackson's father is MIA." Oliver explained. Jim quirked an eyebrow upon hearing Oliver say Jerome and Charlie's father died at sea. 

"Jerome didn't tell you?"

"Tell us what..." Oliver said, rather hesitantly. Jim directed his attention towards Charlie 

"Your father didn't die at sea. Paul Cicero was your father," he explained. 

"What are you talking about? No he isn't... Our father's name was Sven Carlson, he died at sea."

"Okay... I'll ask you the same question I asked Jerome." Jim said. "What ship was he on when he died?"

Charlie thought for a moment before looking at Jerome. "She... Never said... Jerome, you knew he was our father.... And you didn't tell me?" 

"I only found out when I was being interrogated. He admitted it. Said he hated needles, didn't want a blood test... He was our dad, Charlie... All those years. He was right in front of us. And we never knew," Jerome said solemnly. 

"You keep saying 'was'. Why do you keep saying it?"

"Because... He was our dad, Charlie. I killed him."

Charlie just stared at him in stunned silence. "You what?" She whispered.

"I had to," Jerome said, "Theo needed the cops off his trail for breaking us out... So we put evidence of the breakout in Cicero's apartment and killed him." 

"You two can talk about this later, okay?" Jim said, having a hard time believing that this Oliver kid... How old was he? 14? 15? Had convinced him to let an escaped convict off the hook.  
"Jerome..." Jim took a deep breath and sighed. "You get one chance. If you mess it up, you're going to Arkham and staying. If you let yourself be caught in public and someone calls GCPD, I'm going to let them take you. If you break even the smallest of laws, I'm letting them take you. I'll be checking up on you periodically, and at random times. Could be 10:00 at night, middle of the day, as soon as you wake up. I'll be checking. And nobody, I mean nobody, better find out about me not taking your ass to Arkham as soon as I walked through that door. This is your only chance, Jerome. I suggest you don't blow it, for your familys sake."

They all sat and stared at him, unable to believe that Oliver had put up a good enough argument to make Jim let Jerome say. Or maybe Jim was tired of the conversation and decided he had better things to do. Either way, they had a cop tell them that Jerome could stay.

"But you have to call your aunt. And she has to give him treatment. If she doesn't, and he doesnt get the help you've been going on about, its back to Arkham with him. Understand?" Jim said sternly.

"Yes, sir," they all said, except for Jerome, too shocked to really say anything.

"Th- thank you, Jim." He finally stammered out.

Jim just nodded his head and stood, shaking hands with Oliver and receiving a hug from Charlie. 

"Be good, Jerome. I mean it." Jim said, before opening the door. He was right about to leave when Chloe came out and wrapped herself around his leg.

"Thank you," she murmured, voice muffled by Jim's pants. 

"Sure, kid. Go on, I need to get home," He said to her. 'And try to figure out how a child convinced me to let Jerome Valeska go free' he thought to himself.

He left the house, shutting the door behind him. They all just looked at each other, unable to believe what just happened. Oliver finally cracked a smile, giggling a bit.

"You're staying, Jerome. They aren't gonna take you," he said incredulously. 

Chloe jumped into Jerome's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, Jackson coming out of the room, tear tracks dried on his face. He pushed Chloe off of Jerome and took her place, hugging him as tight as he could.

"They almost got you, bubba," he said. "They almost took you away again," 

"Yeah... I'm tight here, Jax. I'm not going anywhere," he said, rubbing his back and holding Chloe's hand.

Charlie got up and gave him a kiss on his forehead, before sighing and walking out back to smoke and try and calm her nerves. 

Oliver still had that massive grin on his face, and Addison had put her head on Jerome's shoulder and had her hand on his thigh, trying to keep her tears in, thinking about how she had only gotten him back this morning and he was almost taken again. 

Jerome was at home, safe, and all he had to do was stay there, and they'd be fine. Now all they had to do was call Kristen... And figure out how Curtis knew about Jerome.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graphic smut in this chapter

Charlie decided it was best for everyone to head to bed a little early that night. She put Jackson and Chloe to bed around 8, and the older ones stayed up for about another hour and a half, all thinking the same thing but saying nothing of it: How did Curtis know? Oliver took the couch so Jerome and Addison could have the queen sized bed he shared with Jerome. He fell asleep relatively quick despite the scare they had all experienced just a few hours earlier. Jerome and Addison were still wide awake.

"I can't believe I almost lost you again, Jerome," Addison murmured, her head resting on Jeromes chest.

"Yeah... I'm here though. I'm not going anywhere," Jerome assured her, rubbing her back soothingly. Addison tilted her head up slightly and kissed the side of his neck that held the stab wound. She rolled onto her stomach and more or less layed on top of him, kissing his lips passionately, sliding her tongue over his, earning a groan from him. He nipped her lower lip playfully before kissing her jawline and down to her neck, pausing to suck and bite at the spot just under her jaw, making sure to leave a mark. He moved lower and began placing sloppy open mouthed kisses over her breasts, palming them through her shirt. She moaned and grabbed his hair before grinding down on him, causing them both to moan louder. He sat them up and pulled her shirt off, wasting no time in removing her bra as well. He fondled her left breast while sucking and licking at her right nipple, pausing only for Addison to pull his shirt over his head. 

"Thought you said wait till the kids weren't home," Jerome panted.

"They're sleeping, doesn't matter," Addison said, moving his head back to her nipple and reaching down to lightly rub the buldge in his pants, making him moan around her nipple. He flipped them over and layed them down so he was on top, and ground his hips into hers, both of them moaning at the much needed friction. She reached down and unbuttoned his pants, sliding down the zipper before pulling out his large, pink, unbearably hard penis. 

She started moving her hand up and down in a slow motion, palming his head on every upstroke. He let out a gravelly groan before dropping his head to her shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Fuck, baby," Jerome said, panting as though he'd just run a mile. "Ah... Shit... Just like that baby girl... Fuck," he said, hips involuntarily jerking into her hand. Addison reached up with her free hand and flicked her thumb over his nipple, causing his whole body to jerk. She turned her head to the side and started sucking on his pulse point, while continuing to rub his nipple. 

Jerome pulled himself up, straddling her, unable to take her ministrations anymore without cumming. He reached down and undid her pants, pulling them down her legs, doing the same with her panties and revealing her wet heat to him. He groaned at the sight of her... He'd missed her so much. Everything about her. He leaned down without warning and spread her legs with his face before placing a long lick up her slick folds. 

"Oh, fuck baby," Addison moaned loudly.

"Shhh baby girl. Kids are sleeping. Don't want 'em to come in her right now do we?" 

Addison briefly shook her head before grabbing onto his hair, pushing his face back into her heat. He licked up and down her folds, teasing her and purposely avoiding her clit. 

"Ahh... Fuck Jerome..."

Jerome plunged his tongue inside her, letting out a loud groan when she pulled his hair. He licked back up and sucked on her clit, pushing a finger inside her, cock throbbing painfully as she moaned. He moved his finger in and out for a few moments before adding another one, making a 'come here' motion, causing her to gasp and buck her hips against his face. He continued sucking on her clit, licking over it repeatedly, groaning at the taste of her, the vibrations from his voice going straight to her core.

"Shit... J... Im- I'm gonna cum-" she moaned. Jerome moved away from her, taking his pants off the rest of the way before leaning over her, positioning himself at her entrance, rubbing the head of his dick up and down her folds while kissing her lazily. There was nothing rushed about their movements with one another. Jerome slowly pushed inside of her, moving all the way in until his balls pressed against her ass, pausing to give her a chance to get adjusted to him again, after a year of not having anyone inside her. She bucked her hips up, silently telling him to move. He slowly began thrusting in and out of her, moaning loudly into her mouth at the feel of her walls clenching around him. He buried his face in her neck, licking up from her collar bone to her pulse point before resting his forehead in the crook of her neck. She moaned, realizing how much she missed having him make love to her. She thrust her hips up to meet him every time he pushed inside her, taking him in deeper with every thrust.

"Harder, Jerome," Addison begged, Jerome thrusting into her harder and faster, letting out a loud moan into her neck. He moved his right hand up to fondle her breast, supporting himself with the other. He flicked his thumb over her nipple repeatedly, earning himself a loud moan of his name into his ear. He moved his hand lower and began rubbing her clit with his thumb, causing her to cry out loudly and her body to spasm, her orgasm tearing through her from her head to her toes. She heard him letting out short, high pitched whines and felt his cock twitching inside her and knew he was going to cum soon. She reached up and rubbed his nipple again while licking over his sensitive ear and he was done for, crying out her name and shuddering before shooting his load into her, moaning and panting into her neck. He gave a few final thrusts before laying still on top of her, both of them panting and regaining their senses. 

After a few minutes Jerome reached down and pulled himself out of her but kept his head buried in her neck, still slightly breathless and feeling like Jello all over. 

"Goddamn," he said breathlessly.

Addison reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, basking in the afterglow. If she was being honest, she enjoyed making love with him much more than simply just 'fucking'. She enjoyed being one with him, being able to savor the feeling of him inside her and make him come undone. She loved being the only one to see him in this state of vulnerability... Loved being the only one he trusted to let his walls completely down around. She remembered how much she loved him as he lay there panting with his face in her neck, vulnerable as he could be, trusting her not to hurt him as everyone he'd ever known had done before. She looked down at his back, seeing the angry raised scars across it, some of them over lapping each other. She reached down and ran a finger over one, causing him to flinch slightly. 

"Shhhh... Its okay baby," she whispered.

He whimpered and pressed his face further into her neck, as if he had the, "I can't see you so you can't see me," state of mind. 

He let her study his scars for a little while longer, feeling slightly uncomfortable, before getting up and pulling some pajama pants on just in case one of the kids came and woke him up in the middle of the night, and threw Addison a pair of his boxers and a T-shirt. They got dressed and Jerome lay down beside her, placing his head on her chest again. 'What is it with him and that spot lately?' She thought. Not that she was complaining, he'd just never done this before and she was curious as to what had changed while he was gone. Maybe he felt safer being held, or maybe it was something as simple as him liking her playing with his hair. She wasn't going to ask, though, out of fear of making him think she didn't want him there. 

Jerome decided to take Oliver and the kids over to Curtis' in the morning and figure out how he knew about Jerome. He figured they should also call Kristen tomorrow and stay true on their word to Jim. He'd tell Oliver to call when they woke up and see when she could come talk. He needed help... He knew he didn't feel right. He didn't feel guilty for the things he'd done. He had to force himself not to smile when he thought of the entire city of Gotham trembling in fear at the thought of him. Felt a sense of pride when he thought about his father's last prophecy to him. He knew that wasn't normal. Knew he wasn't normal. But Kristen would fix it. It would be okay. He'd be okay, and so would Charlie, and Oliver, and Jackson and Chloe and Addison. They'd all be okay. He was sure of it.


	10. Chapter 10

Addison awoke surprisingly early, given how she'd only slept nine hours in the past three days. Jerome was still asleep, face hidden under Addison's arm and a hand on her stomach, snoring lightly. She slowly moved her arm and his hand, careful not to wake him. She climbed out of bed and went to brush her teeth and hair with the spare hygiene products she left there in case she needed to get away from her drunken father for a while. After she'd finished in the bathroom, she walked into the living room to find Oliver laying on the couch, watching TV. 

"What are you doing up?" She asked him

"Could say the same to you," Oliver shot back, looking up at her. "Y'all fucked in my bed, didn't you?" 

"Its Jerome's bed too,"

"Yeah. But I sleep in it,"

"Not like its never happened before," Addison pointed out.

Oliver glared at her and went back to his show. 

Addison walked into the kitchen and made herself a glass of water, looking at the time and noticing that Charlie wasn't awake yet.

"Charlie isn't going to work today?" She asked Oliver from the kitchen.

"I don't think so. Probably called in sick so we could all talk to Kristen together,"

Addison nodded and finished her water before heading back to Jerome's room, ruffling Oliver's light brown hair as she walked past. She entered the room to find Jerome still asleep, laying on his stomach with his head tucked under his arm, blocking out the sunlight. 

She walked over to the bed and lay down next to him, pulling him closer by his torso, no longer caring if she woke him up. Surprisingly he stayed asleep, only giving a small grunt at the sudden movement. She lay her head down on his shoulder blade, rubbing circles on his back with her nails. She moved her hand up and began playing with his hair, giving him a mohawk and giggling. She leaned over him to press her lips to his cheek, hearing him groan and watching him lift his head slightly. He looked at her with a 'what the fuck do you want,' look on his face, only making her giggle more. He definitely wasn't a morning person. 

"What time is it," he muttered, voice muffled by his arm.

"7:15," she answered.

"Oh my god Addy go back to sleep," he said, tucking his head back further into his arm. 

"No, I'm not tired," she said, pulling his arm away from his face.

"I am. Quit it," he grunted, pulling himself out of her grasp and rolling onto his side to shove his face under the pillow instead.

"I'm just playing, J, don't get mad," she said, curling up behind him.

"I'm not mad. Why are you wakin' me up so damn early," 

"Didn't mean to," Addison replied innocently.

"Bullshit." 

Addison giggled and lay there with her cheek pressed to his spine, waiting for him to either wake up fully or fall back asleep. He did the former of the two, sitting up slowly, putting his head in his hands to rub his eyes. He looked down at her over his shoulder and she giggled, seeing that he still had the mohawk she'd given him. 

"What?" 

"Nothing," she said, sitting up and making his hair stand up more. He was too tired to care.

"I'm gonna take Oliver over to Curtis' and figure out how the hell he knew about me," he said, staring at the sheets.

"Want me to come?"

"If you want to. You don't have to,"

"Okay," she said, getting out of bed, and going to dressed in some of her clothes she kept in Jerome's dresser. Jerome lay back down with a hand on his bare stomach, feeling it grumble. He sat back up almost immediately, earning a look from Addison, before leaving the room to make himself a bowl of cereal. 

"Quit fucking in my bed," Oliver said to him on his way through the living room.

"It was my bed first, shithead. You don't like it then go buy yourself your own bed. Or move into the guest room. Why are you pitching a fit over it now? You've never cared before,"

Oliver just scowled at him and went outside to smoke. 

Jackson came running into the living room from down the hall in nothing but his Power Rangers pajama pants, asking Jerome to make him some cereal. 

"Why does everyone wake up so early in his damn house," Jerome grumbled, getting the milk back out. 

He made Jackson's cereal and finished his own before going outside with Oliver to tell him to get dressed.

"Why?" He asked

"Because we're gonna go find out how Curtis knew I was alive," Jerome explained.

"Fine," Oliver said, standing up and going back inside, Jerome following. 

Jerome went straight to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and shaking his head, seeing the mohawk he was given. He didn't bother to smooth it down, only stepped out of his pants and turned on the shower, getting under the water. He washed his hair and body, brushing his teeth as well before getting out and putting a towel around his waist, and going into his room. Addison was on the edge of his bed fully dressed, playing one of Oliver's video games. He went to his closet and got a T-shirt and jeans out, finding boxers in his dresser drawer and getting dressed. He moved in front of Addison, pulling her up off the bed and kissing her slowly. She kissed him back before he pulled away slightly.

"C'mon," he muttered against her lips. She turned off the game and they grabbed Oliver, heading on their way to Curtis'.

Oliver knocked on the door, Jerome not bothering to hide behind anything this time. Curtis answered, looking extremely shocked to see Jerome standing there, and not in a cell at Arkham. 

"What you doin' here boy?" He asked him. "I called GCPD yesterday tellin' 'em bout you stayin' with Charlie-"

"Yeah, I know you did, snitch," Jerome interrupted him angrily. "How the hell did you even know?"

"Heard Chloe and Jackson talkin' bout ya when they thought I wasn't sleepin'. Why ain't you locked up?" 

Oliver and Jerome looked at each other, remembering the promise they had made not to squeal on Gordon. Jerome looked back at Curtis, deciding not to explain.

"Why'd you tell?" He asked instead.

"'Cause, J, you're a danger to others and possibly yourself. Ya ain't safe ta have around the kids," Curtis said sternly.

"Maybe not. But we're calling Kristen later, and she's gonna come out and talk to him," Oliver said proudly, "She's gonna give him some medicine and he'll be fixed,"

"You might think that'd work, Ollie, but some things are jus' broken beyond repair," 

"We'll get Kristen to tell you just how 'broken' I am," Jerome spat, infuriated by his uncle's comment.

"J, ain't no need to go gettin' mad, now. It was jus' a simple statement. You're right. I'll let the doctor make those decisions about you. Not my place," Curtis said, backing down from the argument. 

Jerome glared at him and walked off back towards his house. 

"Hey... Don't call the cops or anything, okay? We got it all figured out," Oliver said, "Kristen'll come out to see him later, and we're gonna figure out what went wrong in his head. Don't go trying to get him locked up, Curtis. Just... Think about Chloe and Jackson, okay? Think about what they'll go through when Jerome gets taken from them again. He's safe to be around. I promise. Don't say anything. Please," 

Curtis thought it over. "First time I hear o' him doin' some dangerous or illegal shit, I'll have Jim Gordon himself come down there and pick 'em up. Got it?"

Oliver nodded and grabbed Addison's upper arm, pulling her with him off the porch and down the road. 

"That was too easy," she said skeptically, eyeing Jerome kicking rocks a few yards ahead of them. 

"Yeah... It was. We can only hope he was nice out of mercy rather than trying to let us believe him so he can call GCPD again." 

Jerome paused in the middle of the dirt road, waiting for them to catch up. 

"What'd he say?" He asked when they began walking again.

"Said he wasn't gonna call the cops again unless her heard of you getting into trouble," Oliver explained, staring at the ground.

"What's wrong then?" Jerome asked.

"He gave up too easily. Curtis is stubborn as a goat when it comes to something he believes in. And he believes you need to be locked up. I'm just trying to figure out why he gave in so easy," Oliver said 

Jerome only furrowed his brow and looked off to the side, seeing a mockingbird land on a neighbors rose bush. 

They walked for a while in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Jerome finally spoke up when something crossed his mind.

"Addy, where's Archer?" He asked, talking about her four year old little brother. 

"With his mom. She decided to come pick him up until preschool starts back up," She said, referring to the spring break they were all on.

"You've been going to school right?" He asked her.

"Hm... Now and again, yeah. Haven't felt like doing much since you got locked up. I go when I need to in order to avoid failing because of truency. Other than that I usually don't, no. Just hang out with Jonathan or something."

Most guys would get jealous upon hearing that their girlfriend had been constantly hanging around with some guy while they were locked away, but Jerome didn't. Jonathan Crane was one of their best friends, and had been since Jerome was 16, Addison 15, and Jonathan 14. Jerome vaguely thought of how he missed hanging out with Jonathan, before pushing those thoughts away and reminding himself that thinking of people he missed only hurt him more. 

"Yeah? How's he doing?" He asked

"He's alright... His dad was arrested. Or killed... I don't remember. Something happened to him though. Apparently he'd been testing out some weird fear injection on Jonathan and gave him an overdose. He ended up in the hospital for a while... Was having some pretty scary hallucinations from the injections. He's out now though... Haven't talked to him in a few days,"

"Damn," Jerome muttered upon hearing about Jonathan's father.

They walked in silence the rest of the way home, pausing when they saw a squad car in the driveway. They all looked at one another, silently praying that it was only Jim Gordon.

They walked in the door to see the detective, sitting on the couch with Charlie next to him and a very content Chloe drawing in a coloring book Oliver didn't remember her having yesterday...

"You give her that?" He asked Gordon, gesturing to the coloring book.

"Yeah, I did. Figured she might like it," He said.

"Thanks..." Oliver said skeptically, unsure of the detectives motives.

"Jerome," Gordon began, "Where did you guys go?" 

"A few miles down the road to talk to my uncle. The one who called you yesterday. We wanted to find out how he knew I was alive." Jerome explained. 

"If anyone had seen you-" 

"No one did. Its... 9:00 in the morning," Jerome said, glancing at the clock above the TV, "On a Wednesday, we have like three neighbors from here to Curtis', all of which are at work right now," Jerome explained.

"Still, Jerome. You need to be careful. As much anger as I have towards you for the things you've done, I'd hate to see you taken from your family when you have the opportunity to get help. Speaking of which, have you all called your aunt yet?" Jim asked.

"No sir," Oliver said, "But we plan on having her come out later today, if she isn't busy with other patients." 

"Okay," Jim said, approvingly. "Well, I need to get going. Gotta get to work on a case. Actually, your case, Jerome. I was assigned the task of finding your 'missing' body," 

Jerome looked away sheepishly. 

"Wait detective Gordon!" Chloe exclaimed, not catching what Jim said about a body. "Take this," She handed him the picture she had been coloring. It was a small gray kitten playing with a ball of yarn, all colored outside the lines with a large 'Thank you' scrawled across the top in Chloe's messy handwriting.

"Thanks, kid," Jim said with a smile, ruffling her hair. "Make sure to get in contact with your aunt today," He said sternly, poking a finger into Jerome's chest. He walked out the door, leaving Addison and all the siblings except Jackson to stare at each other in silence, shocked by Jim's friendly and slightly playful attitude. 

"Well..." Charlie began. "I guess uh... Go get me my phone please, Chloe."

"Okay," Chloe said, running through the kitchen to get to Charlie's room and coming back in the blink of an eye.

"Wow, Chloe," Jerome said, feigning astonishment, "Did you work on your 'super fast running powers' while I was gone?" 

Chloe grinned and nodded proudly, handing Charlie the phone. 

Charlie sighed and selected Kristen's name out of her list of contacts, hearing the phone begin to ring and answer almost immediately.

"Kristen Valeska, how may I help you?" Said a voice on the other line.

"Hey, KC its Charlie," she began, using Kristen's nickname. "Are you busy later?"

"Um... I have an appointment at 3:30... Why? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah we just uh... We need to talk to you about something,"

"Hm... Okay, well, I can come around five, if that's okay." Kristen suggested.

"Yeah, that's great," Charlie said with a smile, even though Kristen couldn't see it.

"Okay, sweetheart. See you then. Love you,"

"Love you too," Charlie said, hanging up the phone. "Five." She said, turning to Jerome. He nodded and turned down the hallway, planning on getting some sleep before his aunt arrived.


	11. Chapter 11

"J, wake up," Jerome heard Charlie speak softly into his ear. He groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, trying to block her out.

"Christ, Jerome. Why must you make it so damn hard to wake you up," Charlie grumbled irritatedly.

"No one said you had to try," Jerome muttered.

"No, they didn't, but you need to get up anyway because Kristen's gonna be here in an hour. How do you manage to go to sleep at nine in the morning and wake up at four in the afternoon? Why can't you just take a normal two hour nap like most people?" 

"Why do I need to get up now if she's not gonna be here for another hour?" 

"Don't you have shit you need to do? Shower-"

"Did that already,"

"Eat-"

"Had breakfast,"

"Stop interrupting me you little shit," Charlie said, punching his shoulder, "Go eat. Before you went to Arkham you'd clean out the pantry in less than an hour by yourself. I've barely seen you eat since you got back. Why?"

"Jus' not hungry. Quit bothering me. Wake me up when she gets here,"

"No, you're gonna get up now, because if I wake you up when she gets here we'll be waiting half an hour for you to actually get your ass out of bed. Now get up," She said sternly. 

Jerome groaned and sat up, glaring at Charlie before shoving her off the bed. "Go away," he mumbled. 

"Swear to God Jerome if you lay back down-"

"I'm not going to Charlie! Jesus,"

Charlie smirked at him and left the room, proud of herself for getting him up in less than three minutes. 

Jerome sat there and looked down, realizing that Addison wasn't next to him as she was when he had fallen asleep. He rubbed his eyes and got out of bed, exiting his room and going into the living room. He sat on the couch next to Oliver.

"Where's Addy?" He asked.

"Oh, she said to tell you that her dad called her home to do something but she'd be back later tonight."

"What'd he want her to do?"

"I don't know. She said 'something'," 

Jerome just nodded his head and looked to the TV where Oliver had hooked up the game console. 

"Why'd you move it?" Jerome asked.

"You yelled at me earlier when I tried to sit on the bed to play, so I moved it in here," Oliver explained.

"No I didn't,"

"Yeah, you did. You were like half asleep though, so... I don't know. I guess I pissed you off or some shit because you tried to shove me on the floor and said some weird shit I didn't understand,"

"I don't remember that. Sorry," Jerome said. He looked over to see Chloe's fish swiming in its bowl, and it caused a thought to cross his mind.

"Oliver... Where's Banjo?" He asked, referring to Oliver's border collie that he hadn't seen since he'd been home.

"With Jake. I brought him over there the night you were 'killed' because I needed my best friend, weed, and my dog to make it hurt just a little less. He's still there... I'm gonna go get him after Kristen leaves today."

Jerome thought it was strange that Oliver would leave Banjo two blocks down the street, since he rarely saw Oliver without him, but he didn't say anything. 

He sat watching Oliver play some weird game for about ten minutes until he heard a knock at the door, wondering why Kristen was early. He looked out the window before opening the door, making sure it wasn't one of Olivers friends. It wasn't - it was Jim Gordon.

"Detective Gordon," Jerome said upon opening the door.

"Hello, Jerome. Has your aunt come by yet?" Asked Gordon.

"Uh... No. She should be by shortly though,"

"Great," Jim smiled.

"You already came today..." Jerome pointed out hesitantly.

"Yes, but I decided it may be better if your aunt knew that an authoritative figure knew of your whereabouts, seeing as she's a professional and could be in more trouble than the average person for associating with a known fugitive," Jim explained.

"Oh... Okay," Jerome said, letting the detective inside.

"Hello, Oliver," Jim greeted upon entry.

Oliver hesitantly nodded his greeting, still unsure of the detectives cheery attitude towards his family.

"Charlie!" Oliver called. "Gordon's here!"

Charlie came hurrying out of her room carrying Chloe, who was wrapped in a towel with sopping wet hair, on her waist.

"Hi, detective Gordon. Everything okay?" Charlie said, while Chloe gave a wave and a gap toothed grin.

Gordon waved back before answering, "Yes, everything's fine. I just came to speak with your aunt." 

"Oh..." Charlie said, slightly surprised. "I thought you didn't want anybody knowing you allowed Jerome to stay?"

Gordon gave her the same explanation he had given Jerome.

"Alright well... She should be here in about half an hour. Let me go get this one dressed and ready and I'll be right out," she said, bustling off down the hallway.

It took Charlie about fifteen minutes to get an uncooperative Chloe dressed, and then she came back out into the living room and sat on the couch, staring at Jerome and Oliver.

Jerome stared right back while Oliver gave out an exasperated, "What!" 

"You guys are sure you don't have anything to do before Kristen gets here?" She asked.

"Yup," Oliver said.

"J? I don't think its very professional to talk to a psychiatrist half naked," She pointed out, gesturing to Jerome's bare upper half.

"Shit," he muttered, looking down at himself. "Oliver, can you-"

"No," he immediately said.

"Why?"

"Because you're the one who took your shirt off, you can be the one to put it back on," 

"I'm just asking you to go get it," Jerome said, feeling extremely uncomfortable with Gordon already being able to see the small amounts of scars littering his torso, and not wanting to have to turn his back to him going down the hallway.

"I got it, bubba," Charlie said, and went back to Jerome's room to grab a shirt, tossing it to him when she came back into the living room.

"Thanks," he muttered before quickly slipping the sleeveless purple shirt over his head. 

Jim eyed him suspiciously, wondering why he seemed so hesitant to get the shirt himself. He brushed it off quickly, though, as they heard a knock at the door.

"J, that's KC. Go to your room for a second while I let her in, that way she doesn't have a heart attack when she sees you sitting there," Charlie said, standing up.  
"Oliver, games off," 

Jerome stood up and went back to his room while Oliver tossed the game controller into his designated 'gaming box'. Charlie opened the door to reveal their aunt Kristen standing there, looking slightly concerned.

"Why's there a cop car in the driveway?" Was the first thing she said.

"Oh that's um... That's Jim Gordon's car," she said.

"Is he here to talk about the uh... About J's body?" Kristen said, referring to how it had 'gone missing' and trying not to tear up.

"Uh... Not his body, no. We do need to talk with you about him though. And uh... Just... Don't freak out, okay?"

"Freak out about what..." Kristen said hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it... You'll know what I'm talking about in a minute. Come in," Charlie said, opening the door wider to allow Kristen through. Jim stood and introduced himself to her, lightly shaking her hand. Kristen smiled at Oliver when she passed, and sat down in the small recliner.

"So..." Charlie began explaining, "We have someone you need to talk to. You can't freak out though, okay?"

Kristen hesitantly nodded, unsure of what her nieces plans were. Charlie slowly got up and went down the hall, coming back with Kristen's ginger haired nephew behind her. He avoided eye contact with her, keeping his gaze on the ground while Charlie explained everything from him showing up at the door, to Jim agreeing not to lock him up if he got help.

Kristen only stood slowly and made her way to Jerome, tilting his chin upwards so he would look at her. And when he did, he didn't see hatred and shame like he thought he would. He saw his aunts green eyes that matched his own filled with love and relief that he was still alive, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down so she could hug him tightly.

"Thank God," she whispered. 

She pulled away and held his face in her hands, giving him a peck on the forehead before backing away, remembering that close interactions made him nervous. 

"We don't know how he's alive, and he thinks he was never really dead. But like I said... Gordon here said that if we could get him help, he wouldn't send him back to Arkham. And... You're the only psychiatrist we know, personally, who wouldn't rat him out. And Oliver said something about him having higher chances of getting better if he was comfortable with where he was and who he was with?" Charlie questioned.

"Yeah," Kristen said, wiping her eyes. "He would... I already have an idea of whats wrong with him, but I can't say that that's what it is without a full psychiatric evaluation," 

"Can we do that right now?" Oliver asked.

"I think it'd be better to let things settle a bit before I try getting inside his mind," she joked, glancing at Jerome with a smirk, "We can go ahead and try in a couple of days. I'm off on Friday, how's that sound?"

"Awesome," Charlie said.

Kristen sat on the couch, gesturing for Jerome to come sit next to her. He did, and she brushed his unstyled hair out of his eyes, feeling sympathetic towards him because she knew he wasn't insane... She was fully aware of how he was raised and the abuse he had suffered, and how that had an effect on him now... She knew he had done terrible, horrible things, but could see in his eyes that he wasn't crazy. Just a sick, broken teenage boy who needed her help, and she was more than willing to give it to him.


	12. Chapter 12

Kristen and Jim had a fairly lengthy conversation on Jerome, before Jim left and Kristen stayed for another hour or two to catch up with the kids. Jerome didn't speak much, which was a red flag for Kristen, remembering how he used to almost always be talking about something. She put it off as him trying to stay quiet to avoid rejection by any of his family, although that was something they would never do. Jerome's fear of rejection and abandonment gave her a few ideas on what may be wrong with him, and she closely observed him almost the whole time she was there to try and pick up on small things she hadn't noticed before he had become unhinged. She took note of several things, but didn't try and put a root to them, deciding to save it until Friday and enjoy the time she had with her neices and nephews. Chloe and Jackson were ecstatic to see her, since she hadn't been to visit in a few weeks due to her busy schedule. Oliver had plenty to share about his latest accomplishments on his video games, and Charlie mostly shared about work and the kids' homeschooling: Oliver was in his ninth year, Jackson his third and Chloe had just started Kindergarten. Jerome would have graduated by now, but when their mother kicked them out of the circus, he had quit his homeschooling, for what reason he never said. 

Addison came back shortly before Kristen left, spending a small amount of time in the living room with Jerome's family before excusing herself and going back to his room, causing a slight tinge of worry to form in Jerome's belly. As soon as Kristen had left and shut the door behind her, Jerome abruptly got off the couch and went to see what was wrong with Addison. His door was shut, letting him know she didn't want anyone to enter.

"Addy?" He said, lightly tapping his knuckles on the door. "You okay?"

He heard a small sniffle, almost as if she had tried to hide it, before she answered, "Yeah... I'm fine,"

Jerome knew all too well what 'fine' meant, and slowly opened the door to find her curled up on his bed with her back facing him. He inched his way into the room, easing the door shut behind him, locking it to keep any of the kids out. He made his way over to the bed, slowly sitting down next to Addison and running a hand through her hair. 

"What's the matter?" He asked softly. 

"Nothing," 

"Yeah... I'll just ignore your tears and believe that its 'nothing'," He replied sarcastically.

"It is, Jerome. It doesn't matter,"

"Fucking hate it when you say that," he muttered. He leaned over her, pushing her hair out of her face and stroking her cheek. 

"Yeah, well... You hate a lot of things," she retorted.

"Not as much as I hate that. Please talk to me, Addison," he quietly begged.

She sighed before sitting up and wiping her eyes, Jerome immediately noticing the bruised and swollen one, feeling anger bubble up through his chest.

"Me and Nathan just... Got in an argument, is all. Its okay," 

"Obviously not, Addison. You have a black eye,"

"It's not that bad, Jerome. Not compared to..." She trailed off.

"Compared to what?"

"What your mom and her buddies did to you,"

Jerome furrowed his brow and took her hand in his, running his fingers over the scars on her wrist before pressing a kiss to them.

"Pain is relative," he murmured against her skin. 

"What?"

"When I was little, Curtis came to visit us at Haly's. He brought his friends son, Logan, who was a year younger than me. I was eight... And already used to getting hurt. Logan wasn't. So... He had fallen, and scraped up his knee pretty bad and was crying over it. I told him to get up and quit being a baby, and he just kept crying harder. I didnt get it, because if I had fallen, or Charlie or Oliver, we wouldnt have cried like that. But Curtis came out, and got onto me for calling Logan a baby. I said that he was, because he was crying over something so small. He took care of Logan and pulled me to the side, and said pain is relative. He said, 'What might not hurt you, might kill someone else. Don't underestimate anyone's pain, ever.' That was it. Just because my mom was a bitch, doesn't make your dad any less of an asshole. And it doesn't make what he does to you any more justifiable." His next words came out in a whisper, "Abuse is abuse, Addison," 

She looked at him with tears in her eyes before she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, letting her tears fall. He just held her and whispered soothing words into her ear, rubbing her back carefully until she stopped crying and began telling him what happened. 

"Archer's mom dropped him off earlier than she was supposed to... I guess she got tired of him or something, but it pissed Nathan off because it ruined his 'kid-free' time or something... So he took his anger out on me, I guess. He hit me once and went to his room and didn't come out for awhile, so I took Archer and left. I dropped him off with Curtis... I didn't want to bring him over here to make noise with Chloe while you were talking with Kristen. But yeah... That's all. Just one hit. Not that big of a deal," she shrugged. 

Jerome knew better though. He knew she was only pretending it didn't hurt her because he'd been through worse. He wrapped her back up in his freckled arms, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before tucking her head under his chin. Nathan hitting her wasn't a regular thing. Most of the time, it was just abusive, drunken words and neglect. Occasionally though, when he got really mad, he'd lash out and hit whatever was closest. It had been Archer a few times, but usually when it happened, it was Addison. 

"Wanna go get him?" He said softly, talking about Archer.

Addison moved away from him and wiped her eyes, nodding slightly. "Yeah... Let's go," she said, getting off the bed.

They left the house, Jerome stopping to inform Charlie of where they were going, and walked through the dark to Curtis'. Jerome knocked on the door with Addison at his side, Curtis answering. He gave a short lived look of sympathy at Addison's eye, before calling Archer out.

"Wait Addison should he be knowing I'm alive," Jerome said quickly, panicking quite a bit.

"He doesn't know anything about you, Jerome. Not about you killing people or 'dying', I don't think he even noticed that you've been gone."

Jerome nodded slowly, still feeling strong anxiety and paranoia in his chest.

Archer came out and briefly looked at his sisters eye before turning his attention to Jerome, giving a short "Hi," before walking off the porch and in the direction of he and Addison's house.

"Archer," she called, getting his attention, "other way," He nodded and turned around.  
"Thank you, Curtis," she said.

"Anytime, sweetheart. You need anything just holler alright?" He said.

Addison smiled and walked away towards her brother, Jerome giving his uncle a small nod before trying to walk off. Curtis grabbed his upper arm to stop him though. 

"Kristen come see ya?" He asked

"Yeah... She's gonna come back Friday though. Said she wanted things to settle down before she checked me out," Jerome explained.

Curtis nodded and released his hold on his nephews arm, ruffling his hair with a smirk.   
"Be good, J," he said, before shutting the door. Jerome jogged off the porch steps to catch up to Addison and Archer. 

"Jerome, do you want a rabbit?" Was the first thing the kid asked him.

"A rabbit?"

"Yeah... My mommy got me one but Nathan said I can't have it. He told me I gotta get rid of it,"

"Why don't you keep it with your mommy?" Jerome asked.

"Because her doggy thinks he's a toy," Archer explained. "If you take him I'll still be able to see him sometimes," he reasoned.

"I dont know buddy. I'll talk to Charlie about it," 

Archer nodded and grabbed his sisters hand, suddenly remembering his fear of the dark.

"Addy," Jerome began, "Do you think if we uh... If we call Jonathan to come out, he'll snitch on me?"

"Snitch for what?" Archer asked curiously.

"He put some gum under the table," Addison quickly lied.

"Oohh you're bad, J," he said.

"You have no idea," Addison muttered under her breath. "I think we're taking a lot of risks as far as people knowing about it goes, Jerome. You're going to get caught."

"But do you really think Jonathan will say anything?" 

Addison sighed. "No, Jerome, but I think we're taking too many risks. We aren't being careful enough... And I don't want to lose you again," She said the last part quietly so Archer wouldn't hear.

Jerome hesitated. "Can we call him?" He said quietly, staring at the ground.

"If he tells anyone, Jerome, its on you," she said, pulling out her phone as Oliver walked up beside them with his dog, who began jumping all over Jerome.

"Get down, Banjo," Jerome growled, shoving the dog away.

"Hey be nice," Oliver said, "He just missed you is all," watching as Banjo went to walk beside Archer.

"Hey, Jonathan," Addison said, holding her phone to her ear.

"Hey. What's up?" 

"Nothing much. How're you feeling?"

"I'm uh... Still shaken up from that shit my dad was giving me but I'm good. You?"

"I'm alright," she lied, "Hey, would you maybe wanna come over to Olivers tomorrow?"

"Jerome's place? I don't know, Addison... It might be too soon," Jonathan said hesitantly.

"Yeah, about that... Um... Jerome is uh... He's not dead" she said quietly, again to make sure Archer didn't hear.

"Don't screw with me about that, Addison," Jonathan said, obviously angered by her statement.

"Jonathan why would I make something like that up? Why on earth would I do that to you,"

"I saw him get stabbed, Addy. It was all over the news," 

"You don't believe me? Here," She said, handing the phone to Jerome. He looked at her apprehensively before putting it to his ear. There was a short pause before Jerome heard Jonathan's voice on the other line.

"Hello? You there, Addison?"

"Uh... Hey, Jonathan," Jerome started. There was a long silence where nobody said anything.

"Jerome?" Jonathan finally said, not really believing that it was him.

"Yeah... Its me,"

"How the hell..." 

"I don't know. I woke up at the precinct. Do you wanna come over tomorrow?"

"Hell yeah, dude... Hey, its not that late yet... What if I came over tonight?" 

"Yeah, even better," Jerome said, smiling.

"Awesome... See you in a little bit," Jonathan said excitedly.

Jerome furrowed his brow and handed the phone back to Addison. 

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Why is this so easy? Nobodys like... No ones afraid of me. You're all just welcoming me back like I was in a war or some shit," 

"You basically were, Jerome. Kinda like... A war with your mind. One that you lost, but you're making a comeback now. We all know that. That's why its so easy. We love you, and we know who you are. We know that the Jerome we saw on TV isn't the Jerome we've always known." Addison explained, regretting the doubts she had about him when he first showed up on her doorstep.

"Still... If I saw me coming, I would run in the other direction..."

"You're that scared of yourself, huh?" Addison asked, never really considering what Jerome saw when he looked in the mirror.

"Little bit... Yeah," he said, staring at the ground and chewing the side of his thumb. 'Must've picked up that habit in Arkham,' Addison thought, noticing that he only did it when he was thinking hard on something, which would've been all he was allowed to do in a cell. 

They walked up the porch steps to Jerome's house, Oliver opening the door and immediately taking Banjo back to his room while Archer went to find Chloe and Jerome and Addison sat on the couch to wait for Jonathan. Addison pulled Jerome's hand into her lap and put her head on his shoulder, noticing that he still had that concerned look on his face.   
Charlie walked into the living room and sat in the recliner, barely getting a chance to breathe before Jerome blurted out a question.

"Charlie... Can we get a rabbit?"


	13. Chapter 13

"So... You weren't dead?" Jonathan asked Jerome, sitting on his bed with him.

"I don't think so. But who knows," Jerome said, absentmindedly tightening his arm around Addisons shoulder as they laid back against the pillows. 

Jonathan nodded and punched Jerome's shin as hard as he could.

"Ow! What the hell!" Jerome exclaimed, retracting his leg.

"Fuck you, man," Jonathan said half heartedly, "Scared the shit out of me. I should give you more than just that little punch. Douche bag," 

"I scared you huh? Aw... Did little Johnny-boy miss me?" Jerome said teasingly. 

"No," Jonathan replied, much too quickly for it to be believable, causing Jerome to snicker.

"So... Addison told me you were in the hospital?" He asked, sobering up.

"Oh, yeah... Dad overdosed me on some fear toxin shit he invented... Doesn't matter," Jonathan stared at the sheets, clearly not wanting to talk about it. He changed the subject instead. "What happened to your eye Addison?" He asked innocently.

Addison glared at him. "Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?" She shot back. 

Jonathan smirked and sat back against the wall. 

"Hey," Jerome said to him, "You can't say anything about me being alive,"

"I know, J, I'm not an idiot,"

"I know, I know but... Make sure it doesn't slip to anyone, okay? I'm getting help from Kristen so... I don't need to go back to Arkham,"

"Kristen, huh? How's she doing?"

"Fine, I guess. Seemed happy when she was here earlier,"

"Well duh," Addison chimed in, "She'd just found out her nephew was alive. I'd be happy too," she said, making them all laugh. 

They sat there just talking and catching up the rest of the night until Jonathan decided he needed to go to bed. Jerome offered him the guest room so he didn't have to walk through the dark at this hour in Gotham, and he gratefully accepted. Oliver stayed on the couch cuddled up with Banjo, not wanting to share a bed with Addison and Jerome at the same time. 

Jerome laid down with his back pressed against the wall, Addison climbing in next to him and pressing her back to his chest. He reached up and pulled the blinds closed so that the sun wouldn't wake him up in the morning, and laid his arm over her waist, pulling her closer. Neither of them said anything for a moment, before Jerome came up with a question.

"Archer's in the kids room, right?"

"Yes..." Addison said. "You're just looking for things to talk about, aren't you?" She giggled.

"Little bit," He said, smirking. He moved his hand up and down a little, rubbing her stomach before pressing his face into the crook of her neck, licking and lightly sucking on her collar bone.

"I know you're not trying to seduce me right now," She said.

"Nah... Just lovin' on ya," he murmured against her skin. He kissed up her neck and past her jawline until he got to her lips, turning her head slightly so he could kiss her sweetly, not wasting any time in slipping his tongue between her lips to move against hers.

" 'Not trying to seduce me' my ass," She said playfully.

"I'm not!" He said defensively, pulling away. "Just like kissing you is all," He said innocently. 

"Mhmm... I'm sure," Addison teased, rolling over to face him. She lightly ran a finger over the wound on his neck.

"You're sure it doesn't hurt? I mean... It only happened a few days ago and you never got stitches or anything to make sure it stayed closed and didn't get infected," She pointed out.

"True but... Its fine," He lied. It hurt like hell if he turned his head a certain way, or if it brushed against something, or if it had pressure applied to it. But it wasn't hurting him now, so it wasn't a complete lie. He just didn't want her to worry about him.

"What'd Kristen say? You guys didn't seem to be having a very serious conversation when I got back, Addison asked.

"Yeah, that's because she wants to wait until Friday to 'get inside my head'," He quoted. Addison couldn't help but notice the sudden change in his tone.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just... Worried about it. 'Bout what she's gonna find. She's gonna go looking through my mind... Flipping shit over and turning it inside out... And I'm not sure I wanna know what she'll find in there. She's gonna... Reach in and pull something out, shove it right in my face so I get a good view... I don't know if I want to see it, though..." He paused, "I think... I think if my mind looked as scary as it was, I'd run like hell."

Addison laid there in silence, letting him get everything out before she spoke.

"I know... I know I'm crazy, Addison. You guys are all telling me that I'm not, and that I'm just sick. But I am... Crazy, I mean. Insane. Normal people don't... Find enjoyment in the things that I do. I don't regret anything I did. Not killing my mom, not anything I did with Theo... I'd do it all over again if it wasn't for you and my family. You're the only thing stopping me..." He trailed off. 

"Jerome..." Addison began, "you aren't crazy. And nothing Kristen does for you is going to help if you have that state of mind. You have to want to get better. You're sick. We don't know what it is yet, but we'll find out Friday. We'll fix it, you'll be better. It'll be okay," she said, placing her hand on his cheek and watching him try to fight tears.

"Then what, Addison? I'm gonna get help, and just... Have to stay hidden here for the rest of my life? I fucked up, Addison. People are scared of me. It doesn't bother me that they are, what bothers me is the fact that I'm essentially going to have to spend the rest of my life as a hermit."

"I thought you don't regret what you did?"

"I don't. Not even a little. But... I don't like having to hide,"

"Well... Actions have consequences, J. Would you rather hide, or be put in Arkham?"

Jerome didn't answer, just put his face back in her neck and sighed.

"One day at a time, baby," Addison whispered. "Don't stress about the future. Only worry about right now,"

Jerome took a deep breath before mumbling against her neck, "I'm gonna get better... Maybe then I'll be normal and regret everything I've done,"

"You will... You'll get better. Kristen will make sure you do," Addison said, rolling onto her back to pull his upper half on top of her. 

"I love you," He said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I love you to sweetheart," She whispered.

Jerome laid there listening to the sound of her heartbeat, pushing the fear of his own mind into the back of his head to try and allow sleep to take over.


	14. Chapter 14

Thursday passed uneventfully. Jonathan left early in the morning at the same time Addison dropped Archer back off at home, and everyone spent the rest of the day lazing around. Oliver stayed in his room with Banjo, while Charlie went to work, Chloe and Jackson spent most of the day in the backyard while Jerome and Addison supervised them.

Jerome barely slept that night, way too worried about the next day to fall asleep. He was too worried about what his aunt was going to say. He was too worried that maybe he was a lost cause, and everyone was just wasting their time on him by trying to help. He was too worried that he was too far gone, and he was too worried that Kristen wouldn't be able to help and he'd be afraid of himself forever. He finally fell asleep around three, when his brain didn't have enough energy to be pessimistic anymore.

He awoke on his own the next day, surprisingly, around ten. He didn't know when his aunt would arrive, so he slowly and carefully untangled himself from Addison and went to shower before asking Charlie when Kristen was supposed to come. 

"Um... About thirty minutes," She said, looking at the clock above the stove. 

Jerome sat on the couch with Oliver and tried to fight off an anxiety attack while he waited for his aunt. Addison woke up and took Chloe and Jackson to Curtis', letting him know that Kristen was coming to talk to Jerome and they didn't need any interruptions. When she got back, Kristens car as well as Jim Gordon's were in the driveway. 

Addison walked into the living room to see Jim, Charlie and Oliver sitting on the couch. 

"Where's Kristen?" She asked.

"In Jerome's room with him. She wanted him to feel as comfortable as he could, and his room was the perfect spot. She said it should only take about an hour... She's already got an idea of what it is." Charlie said.

"Which is?"

"She didn't say. Just said she had an idea."

Addison sat next to Oliver and watched him play on his phone for the next forty-five minutes until Kristen came into the living room from the hallway.

"Okay..." She said upon entering the room and taking a seat.

"What's the matter with him?" Oliver asked.

"Antisocial Personality Disorder, or ASP." 

"What's that?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. Its a personality disorder in which people may experience antisocial behavior, deceitfulness, hostility, irresponsibility, manipulativeness, risk taking behaviors, aggression, impulsivity, irritability, or lack of restraint. All of which Jerome displays vigorously."

"What causes it?" Jim asked with a tilt of his head.

"Researchers have their own ideas about ASP’s cause. One theory suggests that abnormalities in the development of the nervous system may cause ASP. A recent study showed that if mothers smoked during pregnancy, their offspring were at risk of developing antisocial behavior. This suggests that smoking brought about lowered oxygen levels which may have resulted in subtle brain injury to the fetus. Lila began smoking shortly after Charlie was born, and didn't stop when she got pregnant with Jerome."

"So, what? He's sick because he was an oxygen starved fetus? There's gotta be more to it than that," Oliver said

"There is, much more. Erratic or inappropriate discipline and inadequate supervision have been linked to antisocial behavior in children. Involved parents tend to monitor their child’s behavior, setting rules and seeing that they are obeyed, checking on the child’s whereabouts, and steering them away from troubled playmates, which Lila failed to do with all of you. Good supervision is less likely in broken homes because parents may not be available, and antisocial parents often lack the motivation to keep an eye on their children. Lila was very antisocial herself, often steering away from any unnecessary social interactions. She joined the circus when our mother died, leaving me, Curtis, and everything she knew behind for good. We didn't hear from her until she became pregnant with Charlie. Then we had limited contact with her. But other than that, she was very closed off. She always had been, even growing up."

"So... Jerome's shy because our mom was?"

"Its not him being 'shy' Oliver. Jerome isnt shy. He just has absolutely no interest in social interactions with people he doesnt know. Addison, thats why you had to approach him when you first met him. I remember you telling me that you were interested in him but he would never come to you. You had to approach him first, until you two became close. That wasn't him being shy, it was him simply not caring for social interaction." Kristen explained, while Addison nodded her head in understanding. 

"A child who grows up in a disturbed home may enter the adult world emotionally injured. Without having developed strong bonds, he is self-absorbed and indifferent to others. The lack of consistent discipline results in little regard for rules and delayed gratification. He lacks appropriate role models and learns to use aggression to solve disputes. He fails to develop empathy and concern for those around him.   
All the signs point to Lila, and her neglectful and often abusive nature towards you all. Why Jerome was the only one affected this heavily, I'm not sure. There may be more underlying mental health issues, but I'll leave those for another day. I'll be keeping a close watch on Oliver, and Jackson as well, just to make sure she didnt have this effect on either of you."

"What about Charlie?" Oliver said, "And Chloe?"

"APD usually begins to show around mid to late adolescence, which would be around you and Jerome's age. If Charlie had it, it would've already reared its head. I'm not too concerned about you, Oliver, and Chloe wasn't exposed to your mothers abuse long enough to be this heavily affected. But Jackson? I'm going to go ahead and keep my eye on him. The homeschooling doesn't help with his already developing antisocial behavior. His behavior is very similar to Jerome's when he was that age." She said, looking at Charlie.

"What do we do for treatment?" Charlie asked her.

"Unfortunately, there is no cure. That's what's getting to him the most... He's very distraught. But therapy may help the symptoms recede,"

"What kinds of therapy?" Jim asked

"Family therapy, Behavior therapy or Psychotherapy. All of which I am capable of administering," Kristen said with a small smile, raising out of her seat. She hugged her neice and nephew goodbye, grasping Addison's upper arm as she passed and giving Jim a handshake. 

"I'll be back to check on him on my next day off. Sometime this coming week, though I'm not sure of the day. I'll call and let you know," she said to Charlie, opening the front door and waving goodbye before making her exit.

"No cure..." Oliver muttered, staring at nothing.

"Hey," Charlie said, getting his attention. "He's gonna be fine. She said she'll give him therapy," 

"She's a psychiatrist, Charlie not a therapist," Oliver said exasperatedly, putting his head in his hands.

"No, but she has a degree in therapy Oliver."

Oliver raised up off the couch and went outside to smoke, not caring if a cop was there to see him do it. 

"I'll be back tomorrow, Charlie," Jim said, making his way towards the door. "Tell him I said he'll be alright," he added, talking about Jerome.

"I will," Charlie nodded, and he left.

Charlie went down the hall to Jerome's room, pausing outside the door and hearing him sniffle inside. 

"J?" She said, trying to open the door only to find it locked.

"Go away,"

"No... Can you please let me in?"

"No," he sniffled.

"Did she tell you about therapy?"

"Yeah..." 

"... I love you, bubba," Charlie slowly walked away when she didn't get a reply.

She left to drive down the road and pick up Chloe and Jackson, making sure everyone knew to leave Jerome alone on her arrival home. 

Addison didn't bother him until late that night when everyone had gone to bed and she was still locked out of his room.

"J? Baby, can you let me in? I don't want to sleep on the couch," she said.

She heard an aggravated grunt before the sound of bare feet shuffling across the carpet, and Jerome unlocked the door but didn't open it. She entered the room in time to see him crawl back into the bed and pull the blankets up over his shoulders. She slowly walked over to him, leaning over his back so she could see his face. She brushed his hair back off his forehead, it having fallen out of its immaculate style from an entire day in bed.

"What's the matter baby?" She asked quietly.

"Nothing," Jerome lied.

"J..." She said, rolling him over onto his back. "Talk to me," 

He hesitated before sighing, giving in to her. "There's no cure, Addy..." He muttered, staring at the ceiling. "There's no fixing it. I'm gonna be this way forever-" 

"No you aren't, Jerome. She said she can give you therapy and that will help with the symptoms,"

"Still... I have a disorder of my fucking personality. How does that... How does someone get so fucked up that even their personality is screwed..." Jerome trailed off.

"J... Its not you. We've been telling you this all week. You're sick. Your mom is the reason why. She distorted your personality with what she did to you. It was her, baby... Not you... Its not your fault,"

"Why not any of the others then?" He asked, referring to his siblings. "I mean... I wouldn't want any of them to have this... It sucks but... Why was it me?"

"She said she didn't know. But... She said Jackson might be showing signs of it. She doesn't know, and she can't diagnose him with it seeing how he's under eighteen, but she said he's acting how you did at that age," Addison said. 

Jerome didn't say anything, just rolled over to face the wall and closed his eyes, feeling his hatred for his mother grow stronger. Addison laid down behind him, pressing her cheek to his spine and wrapping an arm around his torso for her hand to rest on his chest, feeling his heart beat.

"You're gonna be okay, Jerome. Kristen's going to make sure of that. Even Jim thinks so... If he didn't, he would take you back to Arkham. And he hasn't yet... Which means he has hope for you. We all do, Jerome. You just need to have it for yourself... I told you the other night that you're not gonna get better if you don't think you can. You have to believe that you will. Its gonna take time, J... But it'll happen. You'll be okay," Addison said, reaching up to plant a kiss on the back of his neck.

Jerome didn't say anything, just laid there and faced the wall, thinking about what Addison told him. He honestly didn't think that his aunt simply speaking to him was going to make him not want to kill people. But everyone else had hope, maybe he was just too far into his own mind to see the bigger picture, and see where everyone's hope was coming from. Maybe he just needed to forget all the things he'd done for the time being and focus on getting better, and not doing it again. Maybe he'd allow himself to believe he'd get better. Then maybe... Just maybe, he'd be normal like he always wanted to be.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut and nightmares all through this chapter

"You're not sick. You're insane," Jerome heard Lila's voice his into his ear. "That's why that bitch claims that there is no cure. Because she knows you're insane, and there's no cure for insanity," Lila said, lightly dragging a knife across his throat. No one loves you, Jerome. They're all scared of you. They all want you gone, but they're too scared to do it themselves. I'll just... Do it for them, yeah? Make it all better..." She pressed the knife firmer against his throat and he whimpered, scared of what his mother was going to do. "Oh, don't be afraid, baby! This way, it'll be much better for everybody. Well... Maybe not you. But no one really cares about you... Soon you'll just be another broken soul that the world forgot, and we'll go about our days happier than we ever were with you here! It'll be all better..."   
\-------------------  
Jerome awoke with a start just as Lila pressed the blade into his jugular, panting and sweating. He shot up in the bed and looked around, glancing behind him just to make sure Lila wasn't actually in the room.

"Jerome?" Addison's voice made him nearly jump out of his skin. He looked over and she immediately understood what had happened. She sat up and pulled him into her arms, lightly rubbing his back and trying to get him to calm down. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She said after a few moments of silence.

"No," Jerome blurted, almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She just nodded and continued rubbing his back until he laid back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Addison leaned over him, her hair creating a sort of curtain over her face. She pushed his hair out of his face, wondering what had gotten him so shaken up. She briefly thought about pushing him for the answer, but quickly decided against it, not wanting to make him feel forced.

A few minutes passed and Addison began to wonder if he'd fallen asleep with his eyes open before he slowly turned his gaze to her, and just looked at her for a minute. She looked back at him curiously, wondering what was going on in his pretty little head. He suddenly sat up and kissed her roughly, tangling a hand in her hair and making her moan. Addison pushed him back down onto the bed and straddled him, running her tongue across his bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth. He practically tore her shirt off her body, wasting no time with her bra either. She followed suit with his shirt, pushing it up to his chest before sliding it over his head. He pulled away from the kiss and groaned loudly when she ran her thumbs over his nipples, leaning down and kissing her way down his chest. He watched as she cupped his large bulge through his pajama pants, seeing a small wet spot forming there from his precum. She pulled the elastic down and let his erection spring free, Jerome groaning at the sensation of his dick being freed from its restraints. She pulled his pants the rest of the way down before taking his fleshy weight in her hand, savoring the feel of it. She began a slow rhythm up and down his cock, tightening her grasp on every upstroke and running her thumb over his head, making him moan much louder than he should've. She parted his legs so she could sit herself between them, suddenly getting an idea. She took him balls deep in her mouth, swallowing around him to distract him from what she was about to do. She slowly ran her right hand up and down his thigh, making sure he was used to her touch before moving her hand to lightly stroke his balls. She subtley spread his legs just a bit wider, giving her more room to carry out her plan. She swallowed and moaned around him, getting him completely distracted before she moved her finger down to circle his hole. He jumped and sat up on his elbows.

"What the hell-" he started, but Addison interrupted him.

"Shhh... Just trust me baby. Let me take care of you,"

"Hell no, I know what you're gonna do,"

"Please Jerome, for me?" She said, looking up at him and batting her eyelashes.

Jerome gave her a stern look and shook his head.

"It'll feel really good baby, I promise. Will you let me try it?"

Jerome still wasn't fully on board, but it was something Addison wanted to try and god knows she'd let him try things before. Instead of replying, he glared at her and fell back onto the mattress, but he didn't say no so Addison took it as an okay.

She slowly took him back into her mouth and ran her tongue up and down his shaft, making him moan and forget what she was about to do. She reached a hand down to her heat, dipping a finger inside herself to get it wet for him. She brought the finger up to circle his hole again, Jerome jumping but not moving away. He hissed when she slowly slipped the tip of her finger inside him, never taking her mouth off his cock. She increased her suction around him when she slipped her finger in further, going to the second knuckle and hearing him whimper slightly. 

"Shhh, baby... Just relax,"

"You said it was gonna feel good," he muttered.

"It will... Just wait, okay? You'll be begging me to do this all the time," she said, slipping her finger in all the way, giving him a second before she started moving it in and out of his hole, searching for that one gland that would make him explode.

Jerome had his face screwed up in a pained expression, trying to relax. It didn't hurt too bad, but the thought of his girlfriends finger inside his asshole made him uneasy. Not that he didn't trust Addison... But he wasn't gay. He wasn't homophobic either, but he wasn't gay. Addison had taken her lips off his cock in order to speak to him, and hadn't taken him back in her mouth yet. Jerome was impatient so he reached down and took his cock in his own hand, tugging on it slowly, groaning breathlessly as he ran his thumb over his slit.

Addison kept pumping her finger in and out of him trying to find... That. There. Jerome's entire body jerked and he gasped, wondering what the hell just happened. He didn't have much time to think about it though as Addison brushed over that same spot again, making his dick twitch. He groaned jerking it harder as Addison kept pushing her finger back and forth over that spot, spitting on his hole and slowly adding another one. Jerome panted and watched as she fucked his hole with her fingers while he jerked his now steadily leaking cock. He moaned loudly and let his head fall back to the pillow, opening his legs wider and trying to give her more access. 

"Fuck... Addison please," he panted, starting to push back on her hand. 

"You gonna cum baby?" She said, not stopping her assault on his hole. 

"Ahhh... Yeah... Harder," he moaned, pushing back on her hand and trying to take her fingers deeper. Addison slid her free hand up his chest, flicking his nipple while she took him into her mouth at the same time, immediately taking him down to the patch of ginger hair surrounding his cock. She pushed her finger out harder and faster, causing him to let out a long strangled groan.

"C'mon, baby," she said, pulling her mouth off of him. "Cum for me," she kept finger fucking his hole as she rose up to lick and suck on his neck, leaving a hickie before sucking on his ear lobe while she rubbed his nipple with her free hand and he was gone, cumming so hard he saw pretty lights flash behind his eyes, shooting his load all over their chests and jerking his hips up off the bed.

"Fuck, Addison!" He all but yelled as his cum shot out of his cock and onto the both of them. "Holy shittt..." He groaned, thrusting his hips up into his hand as he milked his cock through his orgasm. Addison smiled lovingly at him and kept rubbing his prostate until he let go of his now softening cock, letting his hand rest on his cum covered abdomen. She got up and grabbed an old towel he had lying around and cleaned him up as well as herself before placing a kiss to his lips, giggling softly when he made a half hearted attempt to return it. 

She threw the towel across the room, climbing into bed next to him and placing her head on his chest, hearing his erratic heartbeat and panting. He slowly came down from his high, glancing down at her and arching an eyebrow. 

"What the hell was that," he asked breathlessly.

"Prostate," she said nonchalantly.

"I liked it... Does that make me gay?"

"No, idiot," she giggled. "It means you liked what any male on the planet would like. Its practically a guys G-spot," she explained, slightly surprised that he didn't know this already.

Jerome didnt say anything, only realized that she had been right: he probably was going to ask her to do that all the time. It was the best thing he'd ever felt and he'd never cum that hard in his life. Soon, the after glow wore off and he became extremely tired, rolling onto his side and pulling Addison under his chin.

"Thank you..." He mumbled quietly.

"No need to thank me, loser,"

"...I love you too," he said upon hearing the word 'loser' leave her lips.

Jerome fell asleep within minutes, leaving Addison awake and alone with her thoughts. Putting away the eroticism of what had just occurred, her mind traveled back to what had awoken him in the first place. She knew it was a nightmare, she just didn't know what about. She figured he might tell her in the morning, and let herself drift into a blissful sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

"J..." Addison mumbled, still half asleep. "Jerome," she slapped his bare chest to get him to wake up.

"The fuck do you want?" He groaned, rolling over onto his stomach and pulling the covers over his head.

"Go tell your siblings to shut the hell up so I can sleep,"

"They aren't doing anything,"

"Listen, dumbass. Hear that?"

Jerome pulled his head out from under the covers to hear Chloe whining and Jackson yelling at her. He rolled his eyes and went back under the blankets, pulling the pillow over his head as well.

"Go Jerome," Addison whined, shoving his shoulder so he'd get up.

Jerome groaned and rolled out of bed, moving into a sitting position, his red hair sticking up in every single direction. He trudged over to the door, slamming against the wall upon opening it, agitated for being woken up for something so petty.

"What the hell are you yelling about," He mumbled when he found Jackson and Chloe.

"He took my doll and wouldn't give it back so I kept asking him and then he threw it at me and it hit me in the eye," Chloe cried, Jerome only catching key words because of her slurred speech.

"The fuck Jackson?"

"I just wanted to see it. I said sorry!"

Jerome stood, thinking about a way to make them shut up when he saw a plate on the table out of the corner of his eye.

"Jackson..." He said, looking at it, "Pick up that plate,"

Jackson went over to the plate and picked it up, holding it out in front of him. 

"Now... Drop it," Jerome said.

"What?" 

"Drop it dumbass you heard me," Jerome said, having absolutely no patience this early in the morning. Jackson obeyed and threw it on the ground, watching as it broke into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Now say sorry to it," Jerome said.

"I'm sorry," Jackson said, looking at the plate.

"Did it go back to the way it was before?" Jerome said, crossing his arms.

"No..."

"Do you understand?"

Jackson looked down at the plate and back at Jerome, brows furrowed. Jerome watched as the realization spread across Jacksons face as he looked over to Chloe and then back at the plate.

"Sorry doesn't fix it," Jackson mumbled. 

"Clean that shit up and quit yelling," Jerome said, turning to go back to his room.

"Why do I have to clean it? You said to drop it!" Jackson exclaimed. Jerome slowly turned around, glaring at him.

"You made the mess. Doesn't matter if someone told you to. You broke the plate. Now its your job to fix the plate," he explained, hoping that Jackson would understand the double meaning in his words.   
He went back to his room to snuggle up to Addison, laying on his stomach in between her legs with his head resting on her belly.

"What broke?" She asked.

"Jackson's obliviousness," Jerome mumbled. 

"What was going on?" 

"Why are you talking so much. Didn't you want me to go out there and make them shut up so you could sleep?" Jerome snapped.

"Hey. Quit being a dick. I asked two questions," Addison said, looking down at him.

Jerome sighed and shifted around a bit before apologizing.   
"Sorry," he mumbled. "Tired as fuck,"

Addison giggled. "Bet I know why," she said slyly, referring to his midnight release.

"Imma have to return the favor at some point," Jerome said, pulling her hand closer to him so he could run his fingers lightly over her scars. "I love you," he said, like it was a fact that everyone in the world knew.

"Love you too, Carrot Cake," she said, making Jerome smile and remember how she'd come up with that name for him.

He was eleven and she was ten, a year after they had first met. The circus had come back to town and Addison remembered Jerome from the year before. Remembering how he had told her that he didn't get cake very much, she had snuck some of her mothers carrot cake into a small box and brought it to him. He took it with a look of genuine confusion on his face, wondering what he'd done to get a reward such as this. He took a bite of it, and she told him it was carrot cake. A seven year old Oliver was next to Jerome, and blurted, "Carrots are orange!" Addison looked at Jerome and said, "Yeah... Just like your hair! I should call you Carrot Head,"

'Carrot Head' stayed until they were teenagers, and Addison delevoped feelings for Jerome, changing it to a more affectionate 'Carrot Cake,' instead. Jerome acted like he didn't like it, but if he had to be honest, he loved it. He loved all the affection she gave him, and he tried his damnedest to return it. What he didn't know is that he didn't have to try. He showed her a side of him that nobody else saw and that was more than enough for her. He didn't need to turn his head inside out so she knew what he was thinking, he didn't need to say he loved her everyday, he didn't need to sleep cuddled up next to her or make her coffee or listen to her teenage girl high school drama. But he did, because he loved her, and that made her love him that much more. 

"Are you gonna go back to sleep?" He mumbled, continuing to feather his fingers over her wrist. 

Addison hesitated, "Are you going to tell me about your dream?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Addy-"

"Of course you don't, J, but you've always done this. Just... Bottled shit up and kept it locked away inside your head and look where we are now," she paused to let him think about it. "Talk to me,"

"I kept it bottled because I was never allowed to take the top off..." Jerome murmured. 

"I know... But you are now. I want you to talk to me about it. I want you to talk to me about anything that's bothering you," she said, playing with his hair. 

Jerome pressed his face harder into her abdomen, sighing before speaking. 

"It was just some dumb shit about my mom..." He trailed off, voice muffled by her shirt.

"What happened?"

"I don't know... I was like... Strapped to a chair or some shit... And she had a knife at my throat, and she was gonna kill me because I'm insane and nobody wants me here... You'd be better off without me... Just dumb shit. Doesn't matter," he said, tugging at a loose string at the hem of her shirt. 

"That's not dumb, baby... But you know what I think?" 

"Hm?"

"I think... What your mom said to you in your dream? I think it was a reflection of what you think might actually be happening... I think that... You think we really believe that you're crazy, because you firmly believe it," 

Jerome only furrowed his brows, realizing that she was right. Everything his mother had told him in his dream were things that he'd thought up on his own at some point. He didn't say anything back though, hoping she'd get the hint that he really, really didn't want to talk about that dream. There were a few minutes of silence as Addison tried to determine whether or not he was done speaking. She came to the conclusion that he was, and decided to change the subject.

"Schools back in on Monday..." She trailed off, definitely not looking forward to going back.

"You gonna go?" Jerome asked, hoping the answer was no, but knowing it should be yes.

"I don't know... I'm gonna have to drop Archer off at preschool, and if I'm already up that early I might as well go. I've already missed a lot of days this year. But you know what?"

"What..." He said, disappointed that she had to go.

"Your birthday's in like... A week and a half,"

Jerome thought about it, realizing that he'd forgotten when his own birthday was. He'd been so caught up in all of his antics that he wasn't keeping track of time. Now it was March, and he was turning nineteen in less than two weeks. 'Damn...' He thought. 

They heard knocking on the door and turned their heads to see Charlie opening it.

"J, Kristen just called,"

"What'd she say?" Jerome asked, feeling a surge of anxiety rush over him.

"She said she's going to come by Monday. She has a few hours between appointments and wants to talk with you about some um... Underlying issues to the disorder,"

"Like what?"

"Like... What might be making it so... Pronounced, I guess. Because there are people all over the world with this who can lead prefectly normal lives. Others can become serial killers. Shes studying the differences in those two types, and wants to figure out what makes you do the things you do, and why you find it entertaining. So she's coming Monday." Charlie explained. 

"Oh... Okay," Jerome said 

Charlie smiled and shut the door, leaving Jerome and Addison alone.

"See? You have something to do while I'm at school now!" Addison said, trying to make him feel better.

"Yeah..." 

"It'll be okay, baby. She's coming so she can help you. You're gonna get better," She said looking down at him. 

Jerome only crawled up her body to put his head on her chest, sighing and intertwining his fingers with hers. He was fine with how he was. It made him feel like he could do anything. What he wasn't fine with, was what his family would think of him if he kept going on the way he was right now. He wasn't fine with there being a possibility of him hurting them. They were all he had... All he'd ever had. He never wanted to hurt them. He never wanted them to disown him, either. He didn't want to lose Addison. But he knew that if he continued his murderous antics, he would lose everything he'd ever known and loved. And he wasn't fine with that. Addison interrupted his thoughts with a random question.

"When are you gonna get the rabbit from Archer?" She asked, remembering how Charlie had said they could have it.

"I don't know... Later today, I guess." Jerome mumbled. 

"You tired?" 

"Yes," Jerome said, barely giving her a chance to finish the question. 

"Well... Go to sleep, then. We can go get him when you wake up,"

Jerome didn't reply, just pushed his face up to hide it in her neck and almost immediately fell back asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Text

"Shit, J..." Addison said, peering down the street. "Nathan's home..." 

They had left his house to get the rabbit once night fell, hoping to lower the chances of Jerome being seen. Just to be safe, he had his hood and sunglasses on. 

"Okay so... I'll wait here? I guess?" Jerome suggested. 

"Yeah... I'm just... Worried Archers gonna be all 'Where's Jerome?' When I tell him I'm taking the rabbit to your house," Addison said, still staring at her father's rusty pickup truck. 

Jerome took a few steps forward, trying to think of a way to keep Archer quiet. 

"What if Nathan's like... Passed out or some shit already?"

"I doubt it... Its only like, nine," 

"Well tell Archer to come out here then. Tell him you're taking the rabbit to Oliver and make him start walking. I'll meet him out here so he's not alone," Jerome said. 

"Yeah... That could work. I'll send him out, get the rabbit and we'll head back over to your place," 

Jerome nodded and stepped into the woods on the side of the dirt road just in case someone came driving down it and saw him. Addison walked the thirty yards or so to her house, Archer coming out after her a few minutes later. Jerome walked out into the road a little ways so Archer could see him and waved him over.

"Why didn't you come inside J?" Archer asked curiously.

"Because Nathan doesn't like me. Y'know... He might've hurt me or your sister... Or you, maybe. I stayed so he didn't get mad," Jerome said, figuring that wasn't a complete lie... Nathan hadn't really had a problem with him before, he got Addison out of the house so he only had one kid to take care of. Now though...

His thoughts were interrupted by a slamming door, and he looked over to see Addison coming down the porch steps with a semi-large cage in her hands. She made her way over to them, handing the cage to Jerome, muttering something about 'Nathan and that damn rodent'. Jerome cocked an eyebrow at her, deciding not to ask what happened with Nathan in front of Archer. Instead he turned and started the long walk back to his house, the smell of rabbit piss and pine shavings filling his nose.

Jacksons jaw dropped when Jerome entered the house with the rabbit. 

"Is he mine?" He asked hopefully. 

"He's ours." Jerome said. "We're all sharing him." He didn't really want it, but he knew that Chloe and Jackson would get bored with it fairly quickly, and it'd still need someone to take care of it after that happened. Oliver wasn't even in the question... He'd kill the vermin as soon as look at it. 

"Dammit..." Jackson muttered, causing Jerome to whip his head around at him.

"The fuck you just say?"

"Granite," Jackson quickly said, Jerome rolling his eyes and setting the cage down on the coffee table. 

"What's his name?" Jackson asked Archer. 

"He doesn't have one. Nathan said don't name him because we's gonna get rid of 'im anyways," Archer said solemnly. 

"I wanna name him!" Jackson exclaimed, eyes shooting up to Jerome.

"I told you, Jackson, we're sharing the damn rabbit. We're gonna pick a name we all agree on," He said exasperatedly, shuffling down the hallway to get Chloe. She let out a small squeal when she saw the black and white animal, rushing over to the cage and kneeling at it.

"Are we gonna keep him?"

"Yep. Needs a name, though," Jerome said, looking at the children gathered around the cage like it was a campfire. 

"Bubbles!" Chloe immediately suggested. 

"It's a boy," Said Addison. 

"Fluffy!" She said instead, basing the name off of the rabbits long fur. 

"A real name, Chloe," Jackson groaned, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "Like... Somethin' cool, like Gunner!" Jerome furrowed his brows and shook his head quickly.

"How 'bout Boo?" Chloe suggested. 

"That ain't a real name-"

"It is too! Theres a guy called Boo Radley in To Kill A Mockingbird," Chloe said, matter-of-factly.

"How the hell do you know that?" Jerome asked, raising a brow. 

"Oliver read some of it to me at nights when I couldn't sleep,"

"You wanna name him something outta that book?" Jerome asked. 

"Yeah," Chloe said, looking back at the rabbit. 

"Alright..." Jerome kneeled next to the rabbit, giving it a look over. "I think... He looks kinda like an Atticus. Yeah?" 

"Yeah!" Chloe agreed enthusiastically as Jackson nodded his head in approval. Jerome smiled and took the rabbit to his room, placing him in the corner where the vents wouldn't blow on him. 

"Can I hold him?" Chloe asked.

"Not right now, Chloe," Jerome said, looking at the rabbit and hurriedly explaining why he said no when he saw the forlorn look on her face. "Only because he wasn't tame to start with, and being in a new place with lots more people will freak him out a lot. He needs a chance to calm down," he said, watching as Chloe nodded her understanding and left the room with Jackson and Archer.

"Well... That was fun," Addison said, plopping down on Jerome's bed.

"Yeah... Till Oliver comes home to find a rabbit in his room," Jerome snickered, laying across the bed behind her. "What happened with Nathan earlier?" He asked, concern etched on his face.

"Oh..." Addison said. "He was just being a dick. Yelling at me to do shit and make him dinner as soon as I walked through the door... I just told Archer to leave and then I got the rabbit and followed. He slammed the door behind me, told me not to come back. He didn't mean it, of course... He was shitfaced, so..." She trailed off. 

Jerome reached his hand up and pushed her hair our of her face, letting it fall to the side of her neck and holding it there. She put her hand over his, pulling it into her own and settling there intertwined hands into her lap, looking down at them as he circled his thumb over her skin. 

"I think Oliver gets mad that I practically kick him out of his own room every night..." She said, glancing at the rabbit that was now sniffing around his cage curiously. 

"Nah... He doesn't care. Even if he did... We have a damn guest room he could have. He literally chooses to share a room with me." Jerome muttered.

"Don't say it like that... He loves you,"

"I know... I don't mind sharing, if I'm being honest. I don't pick favorites, because I know how bad that shit hurts, but I'm definitely closest to that little shit out of all my siblings. Maybe its the age thing. I don't know," Jerome rambled.

Addison shook her head. "Y'all are a lot alike... And you're very protective and loving of him, no matter how much you deny it."

Jerome only grunted and started looking around for the remote to turn the TV on, hoping to just lay back and watch a movie with his girl when he heard Chloe start crying in her room. He got up and pointed a finger at Addison, silently telling her to stay while he took care of it. 

"What the fuck," he muttered to himself when he opened Chloe's door to find Jackson tugging on Archer who was holding on to Chloe who had her finger stuck in what appeared to be a plastic toy pepper shaker.

"Let her go!" Jackson yelled.

"I'm trying to help her!" Archer yelled back. Chloe attempted to say something but Jerome didn't understand her because of her crying. 

"What the fuck is going on?" He sighed, running a hand over his face. 

"Archer dared Chloe to stick her finger in that thing and she did and now its stuck and the plastic is cutting her finger and she's bleeding," Jackson explained all in a rush.

"Shit..." Jerome said, moving to Chloe to kneel down and look at her finger. Sure enough, there was a trail of blood going down her finger and gathering at her wrist before dripping onto the floor. "Hang on Chloe..." He muttered, going into his room to find scissors, alarming Addison.

"Why do you need scissors?" She asked.

"Chloe got her finger stuck in a pepper shaker," Jerome said on his way out the door. Addison drew her eyebrows together, following him into Chloe's room to see if she'd heard him right. 

Apparently she had, because she found him kneeled in front of Chloe, trying to find the end of her finger so he didn't cut her when he cut the plastic. He found it and began cutting the pepper shaker off her finger, finding it swollen, bloody, and purple once the offending item was removed. He took her to the bathroom to rinse it off and wrap a bandage around it, leading her back to his room once he was done since she didn't want to play with the boys anymore. 

He laid down on the bed and she curled up next to him, placing her head on his chest and sniffling a little as he rubbed her small back comfortingly. Addison sat beside them, turning the TV on and switching it to Bubble Guppies for Chloe. 

They laid there for a few minutes before Archer shuffled his way into the room.

"I wanted to say sorry to Chloe..." He said, staring at the floor. 

"Its okay," she mumbled, not moving from her spot on Jerome's bed and giving Archer the hint that she didn't want to play. He slowly walked away, hanging his head and closing the door behind him.

"He feels so bad," Addison whispered to Jerome. 

"I know... I don't think he meant for her to get hurt,"

"Of course he didn't... I'm gonna go check on him." Addison said, getting up from the bed and leaving the room, leaving Chloe and Jerome alone. 

"You okay sugarbear?" He asked her.

"Yeah," She whispered, rubbing her face on his chest. 

"What were you guys doing? Why did he dare you to stick your finger in that thing?" 

"Truth or Dare," was all the explanation Jerome needed. He nodded and kept rubbing her back because she was still sniffling, examining the bandage on her finger instead of watching the show Addison had put on for her. 

"You gonna go back in there with them?" Jerome asked.

"Do I have to?"

"No, you can spend the night in here if you want," Jerome said, silently hoping that she would, wanting to spend time with her seeing how he'd barely gotten to since he'd been home.

"Okay," she said, and he pulled the blankets up over her to help her fall asleep. She was out within minutes, and Addison came back into the room looking a lot more tired than when she'd left. 

"What's the matter?" Jerome whispered.

"He's just a shit," Addison said, waving her hand towards the door. She laid down next to Jerome and linked her hand with his, sighing and placing her head next to his shoulder. 

"I love you," she said.

"Love you too baby girl," he murmured, and he fell asleep with his baby sister on his chest and his favorite girl by his side.


	18. Chapter 18

Sunday came and went slowly. Charlie slept, Oliver had run off again to God knows where, the little kids played and fought and played some more, and Jerome and Addison spent the day in his bed, Jerome trying to spend as much time with her as he could before she went to school the next day. 

Monday, however, had started out terribly for Jerome. He woke up, and the first thing he noticed was the feeling of panic and terror having a war with each other in his belly. He recognized the feeling as an anxiety attack, and briefly wondered why in the hell he was waking up to one. 'Maybe a nightmare I don't remember...' He thought. He slowly rolled over to face the wall, trying to control his breathing to make it go away. He focused his thoughts on Addison. Her blue eyes, dark brown hair, how she was a full head shorter than Jerome... Thinking about her definitely took the edge off the attack, but it was still there. He decided to just let it take its time, and it would go away when it felt like it. He laid there for another thirty minutes, finally registering that Oliver was next to him.

"Hey..." He said to him, shoving his shoulder. "Douche bag... Wake up," 

Oliver groaned and swatted Jeromes hand away, rolling to face the door. 

"Oliver. You have to go do your home school shit," Jerome mumbled. "Its already like... Ten," he said, looking at the clock on his nightstand. 

"Shit..." Oliver muttered, shooting out of bed and scuttling out the door faster than Jeromes brain could process what was happening. He saw Charlie press herself against the wall as Oliver shot past her before she walked into Jerome's room. She sat down on the bed next to him and ran her fingers through his red hair that matched her own.

"Kristens-"

"I know. She's coming today," Jerome groaned.

"Yeah... In about an hour. Also, detective Gordon didn't come all weekend, so I expect him to show up some time today," Charlie said, looking at Jerome sympathetically. 

Jerome rolled over onto his stomach, Charlie moving her hand down to rub his back. 

"I need to get Chloe and Jackson back on their schedule... I came in here to get Ollie up but... I guess you already did that. So... I'm gonna go wake up the kids and get them started with their schooling, and I want you to get ready, okay? Shower, eat... Whatever you need to do," Charlie said. 

Jerome grunted and buried his head in his arms, Charlie giving him one last pat on his back and a ruffle of his hair before leaving the room. He slowly rolled out of bed and took a twenty minute shower, almost falling asleep in there, before he got dressed and went to see what Oliver was screaming his name for. 

"Shut the fuck up," Jerome muttered upon entering the living room. "What do you want?"

"I need help with this chemistry shit," Oliver said, remembering that chemistry was Jerome's best subject. 

Jerome trudged over to him, kneeling next to him to see what he was having trouble with.

"Lewis Dot Structures?" He asked. 

"Yeah, I guess... I don't know what the hell I'm doing,"

"Yeah, I can see that..." Jerome mumbled, glancing at the 'work' that Oliver had done so far. 

"Well, what are you stuck on?"

"Like... All of it," 

"Jesus..."

"This shits hard!" Oliver raised his voice, defending himself.

"Not really..." Jerome muttered under his breath. "Okay, look. All these little dots on the elements? Do you know what those represent?"

"Valence electrons....?" Oliver guessed 

"Yeah, and each element needs eight of those little dots to be stable, which is what you're trying to do. Make those elements have eight dots so they're stable," 

"So... I just draw dots on them?" 

Jerome sighed and pulled up a chair, realizing this was going to take longer than he thought. 

He helped Oliver for about a half an hour, helping himself to take his mind off his anxiety attack. Kristen walked through the door, smiling upon seeing Jerome and Oliver hunched over a piece of paper. 

"Having fun?" She asked, snickering upon seeing their exasperated faces. 

"Hey, KC," Charlie said with a smile, coming into the living room. 

"Hey baby. Jerome?" Kristen said, nodding her head towards his room. 

"Dont we get a chance to sit here for a minute before we talk?"

"Normally we would. But I've got another appointment in an hour," Kristen explained. Jerome stood and made his way over to the hallway hanging his head, not looking forward to this at all. Kristen rubbed his back as he walked past her and she followed him into his room. He laid back on the bed as she sat on the small recliner to the right of his TV. 

"When did you get a rabbit?" She asked him.

"Saturday. Nathan wouldn't let Archer keep it, so we took it so he could still see it sometimes," Jerome explained, not looking at her.

"Whats his name?" 

"Atticus," 

"From To Kill A Mockingbird?"

"Yeah, Chloe wanted to name him Boo, but I chose Atticus instead,"

"How come?" Kristen asked, hoping to find something in his interest in the book. 

"Because he was the best character in the book. He was the smartest, and he had the most courage. He was also one of the few people who judged others by character and not skin color," Jerome rambled, staring at the wall.

"Do you know any quotes from him?"

"Simply because we were licked one hundred years before we began isn't a reason not to try anyway," Jerome recited, almost mechanically. 

"Do you know what the main theme of the book was? Some people read it and just forget about it, not bothering to analyze anything so they don't take anything from it. I can tell you didn't do that. Do you know what the major theme was?"

"Well... There are a few. The one that everyone seems to notice is the destruction of innocence,"

Ah. There it was. She found something. 

"Is that why you like the book?"

"Not necessarily. Another major theme is just the growing and development of maturity. But the destruction of innocence sticks out most to me."

"Why's that?" 'Because yours was taken from you before you could talk,' Kristen thought to herself. 

"Well... I mean... It shows in a lot of different ways... Like Scout realizing the disease of racism that her town is infected with, and with Jem growing up and reaching intellectual maturity. The one that really got to me though, was Tom Robinson's trial,"

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah... Because he was an innocent man, that was accused of a bad thing. He lost his trial though, simply because he was a black man being tried by a white one. Even though all the evidence pointed away from him, he still ended up dying, ultimately because of the racism of the people of Maycomb. Like... He was innocent, but they couldn't see past his skin color. And so he died," Jerome explained.

'Just like you and all your siblings had your innocence stripped from you because you were children of Lila,' Kristen thought. 

"And Atticus fought for what he believed in even though he knew they were going to lose the case," Jerome continued. "He knew Tom was innocent and he tried his hardest to prove Bob Ewell guilty, even though he already knew that Tom would be sentenced to death," 

"Wow. Seems like you really broke that book down," Kristen said.

"Yeah well... Needed something to do while Lila was fucking clowns," Jerome shrugged. 

Kristen noted the venom lacing his words.

"Jerome, did you plan on killing your mother?"

"No... She just... Pissed me off and I kinda snapped, I guess," he said as if they were speaking about the weather. 

"Did you think about it?"

"I had a little bit, before. But that night, she pushed me too far. I got the thought in my head, and just did it."

"Do you think you could've stopped yourself?"

"No. Someone may have been able to stop me, but I wouldn't have been able to do it myself. If I tried, I mean. I didn't really realize what I'd done until it was too late... Then I panicked and got Mr. Cicero." Jerome said.

"J, you've always had issues with impulses. Right?"

"I guess so..." Jerome muttered.

"Well... You've always done what you want to do, when you want to do it without thinking of the consequences. And I think that interferes with the violent nature you already have because of the personality disorder. I know you have trouble staying on task because when you get bored, impulse tells you to do something else and you listen because you can't control your impulses. That leads me to believe that... You may have an impulse control disorder, and that's why your personality disorder is so severe."

Jerome only nodded, not happy to hear about something else wrong with his brain. 

"Now... There is no cure for antisocial personality disorder-" 

"I know, KC, you told me last time," 

"- but there is medication for impulse control disorder. And being on medication that helps you control your impulses will most likely take the edge off of your personality disorder."

Jerome shot up and looked at her wide eyed. "Seriously?" He muttered.

Kristen gave a small smile and nodded.

"What kind of medicine?" Jerome asked. 

"Fluvoxamine, Clomipramine, Paroxetine, possibly Escitalopram."

"All of them?" Jerome said nervously.

"No, no not all of them. Maybe a few combined... It'll take some time to figure out the right medicine or combination of medicine for you. Everyone is different," Kristen said. She chuckled a bit.

"What?"

"I assume you're still a pyromaniac?"

Jerome grinned at the thought of fire. 

"I'll take that as a yes. That would be part of the impulse control disorder, and the medication with help with it,"

"Yeah but I like fire," Jerome almost whined.

"Yes, but fire is dangerous, Jerome. You're almost nineteen. You know this," she said, scolding him like he was a small child. 

"Are we done now?" Jerome asked.

"Do you want to be done?"

"Yes,"

"Then we can be done," 

"What?"

"If you want to stop talking, there's no way I can force the words out of your mouth, and if I tried you might not trust me the next time I come. So yes, we can be done for today, Jerome," Kristen said, standing up.

Jerome laid back down hesitantly, not moving as Kristen came over to place a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you, J. You're gonna get better. I promise," She whispered before exiting the room. Jerome rolled over and faced the wall, feeling much better than he had before Kristen had visited. 

Charlie was sitting on the couch when Kristen came from down the hallway, looking very pleased with herself. 

"What's up?" She asked her.

"Impulse control disorder. That's why his APD is so bad. He can't control what either disorder tells him to do and they clash. He didn't plan on killing Lila. Impulse told him to kill her, and so he did. He doesn't regret the things he's done because for him, it feels good to not have to restrain himself from those actions. Also, there is this thing known as the Brutalization Effect. It is the hypothesis that increased exposure to acts of violence causes a desensitization of individuals thereby increasing the possibility of such acts escalating in frequency because their occurrence no longer bothers the exposed individuals. In other words, rather than having a cathartic effect on an individual, repeated exposure to certain situations is believed to have the opposite effect: an individual is more likely to commit violent acts because of previous and sustained exposure to them," Kristen explained.

"So... Jerome commits these acts, and they don't bother him because he was so exposed to crime and abuse as a child?"

"Precisely. And this impulse control disorder, plus his personality disorder, plus the Brutalization effect, has made him uncontrollably volatile and desensitized to the things he is doing. He honestly sees nothing wrong with the things he's done, because he was so exposed to torture and abuse as a child. But, those things can be fixed. He can be fixed," Kristen said 

"This... This Impulse thing..." Charlie said. "Is there any cure for it?"

"There is treatment, yes. Four types of medication we can try on him, see which one helps him the most. Cognitive behavioral therapy will also help with his pyromania, because that has an opportunity to become a problem. I will also begin giving him therapy for the personality disorder. It'll be a lot for him to handle, at first, and the medicine may have him acting a bit funny.  
But its all for the best. He'll get better," Kristen said with a smile.

"Awesome... Thank you so much, KC... I know you're busy with other patients and now you have to deal with him... I can pay you, if you want-"

"No, no Charlie its okay. Don't worry about it. I love all of you. We're family... Family is supposed to take care of each other. That's what I'm doing. Its okay, really," Kristen said with a large smile. 

"If you're sure..." Charlie said.

"I'm positive. Now, I have to meet another patient at the office in a bit. I'll see you later, okay? I love you," Kristen said, hugging her goodbye. "Bye, Oliver. Love you," looking down at Oliver still struggling with his Chemistry. 

"Bye, love you too," he said, attempting to concentrate. 

Kristen chuckled and asked Charlie to tell Chloe and Jackson goodbye for her before she left the house and made her way to her office downtown.

"You gonna go check on J?" Oliver asked, looking up from his work.

"Yeah..." Charlie sighed. She found his door unlocked, which she took as a good sign seeing as his he'd had it locked last time. 

"J?" She said, peeking her head in. "You good?"

"Mhmm," he mumbled, seemingly half asleep. 

Charlie smirked and left him alone, figuring that he couldn't be too upset if he was falling asleep. Now to wait for Addison to get out of school so she could tell her about Jerome's new diagnosis.


	19. Fears that take on another form

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome begins thinking about his future and his fears. And he has a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hay everyone I hope you all are doing well. I own nothing and I hope to do this story justice now that I am writing it. Please let me know how I am doing in your comments and thank you so much for reading.

After his Aunt Kristen left and Charlie checked on him, Jerome laid in his room. He felt like he was falling asleep yet he also felt like he was wide awake. He had so many things on his mind. The news he had gotten today made him so happy. He wasn’t completely unfixable, there was a cure for at least one of his problems, and he would get better. One day he would be normal, one day he would feel guilt for the things he had done; now as he was he only felt guilt for one thing. Jerome was constantly thinking about all the trouble he had caused his family; he felt constant guilt for that.   
“Actions have consequences J,” Jerome remembered Addison’s words then and he couldn’t help, but think about what his consequence would be. And that made his guilt return tenfold. He would never be a free man again. For the rest of his life he would be a hermit, a burden on his family, and then he thought of his little siblings. When they were old enough and they learned of everything he had done what would they think of him? What would happen someday when any of them fell in love like he had? How would they explain him? He knew they would never throw him out, that they loved him, but he hated the thought of being a burden on them. He didn’t want to make them unhappy. And then he thought of Addison. He would never again be able to walk through the neighborhood with Addison by his side.   
Right now, she was his girl, and he loved her with all his heart. Jerome loved her and Addison had proven to him time and time again that she loved him just as much. But now after everything he had done no one could know that she was his girl. Their relationship would have to be a secret and that made him wonder about what would happen in the future between them. He was sure that there were things she wanted out of life. He didn’t know if she wanted to get married, or have a family someday they had never really talked about it, but if she did he wasn’t sure he could ever give that to her. Not this way. Jerome couldn’t help, but wonder what would happen when some other guy came along who could give her those things? He wanted her to have those things, he wanted her to have everything she wanted, and everything she deserved. Jerome wanted to give her those things maybe not now, but in the future. But he wasn’t sure if he could now. These thoughts of Addison were running through his mind when he finally fell asleep again. And when he opened his eyes finding himself in what he thought was a dream Jerome found himself standing alone. It appeared to be just an ordinary day, he was standing outside his home, and he wasn’t sure what was going on.   
“What the hell,” muttered Jerome looking over himself knowing immediately that something was different? He felt older if that was possible and he had a slight beard in this weird dream. It was as he was looking himself over that he felt a hand on his shoulder.   
“Oliver,” exclaimed Jerome when he turned around finding his much older brother standing there before him wearing a wrinkled suit.   
“You ok, J? I get it if you’re having a hard time today,” whispered Oliver a look of concern on his face.   
“Why wouldn’t I be ok?” muttered Jerome looking at him then down at the ground feeling an uneasy knot form in the pit of his stomach. Oliver didn’t say anything only looking at him with sympathy. It was a sympathy that Jerome didn’t understand; what was going on today that would make him upset?   
“Why wouldn’t I be ok? What’s wrong?” Jerome repeated feeling as Oliver gently placed his hands on both his shoulders.   
“Bro, I know you love Addison, but you have to accept this. I mean she loves you, but there are things she wants out of life. And as things are you can’t give um to her,” began Oliver, but Jerome didn’t let him finish. Jerome could feel a foreboding growing in his gut in that moment. Something had happened between him and Addison. Something had happened and he didn’t know what that was. What had happened between him and Addison? Did something happen to her?   
“Addison, what’s wrong with Addison? Did something happen; is she okay?” exclaimed Jerome grabbing Oliver by the collar bringing him closer so they were face to face. Oliver didn’t answer him right away just staring at him his hands gently covering his around his collar. That look of sympathy was still there, but with it now was a look of concern. Jerome couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he waited for him to speak. He felt his heart pounding and in his mind he could see Addison’s smiling face. In that moment he couldn’t imagine a life without her, his girl.   
“J, Addison’s fine you know that. You two broke up awhile back. She’s just…getting married today,” signed Oliver nearly falling to the ground when Jerome released him finally.   
“Getting married?” repeated Jerome staring straight ahead appearing to be looking at nothing at all as everything Oliver had said went through his mind.   
“I’ll leave you alone, I guess,” said Oliver giving him one final look before walking out of sight. Jerome couldn’t believe what his brother had said. His worst nightmare had come true he had lost Addison all because he couldn’t give her what she wanted. And now because of that, because of everything he had done bringing him to this place the girl he loved was marrying someone else. Just the thought of that made tears prick at the back of his eyes. Addison was getting married, she was getting married today, and she wasn’t marrying him. Jerome had lost her. Despite the fact they loved each other they couldn’t be together all because of him. He had lost her and he knew that his having to hide himself away was the reason.   
“Addison,” breathed Jerome still staring off at nothing at all a single thought going through his mind. He couldn’t take care of Addy when he was hidden away for the rest of his life. He couldn’t give her the things she wanted that way. And then the thought of it all completely overwhelmed him. Jerome suddenly found himself falling to the ground her name a mantra he couldn’t forget coming from his lips. He couldn’t lose her, she was essential to his existence; without her he would be miserable. Addison was as essential to his life as air; he needed her as much as he needed his siblings. And in some ways he needed her more because she was his girl; he loved her. Jerome felt panic cradling his entire body then his eyes closing and when they did her face was the only thing he saw.   
“Addison,” sobbed Jerome his tears falling in full force now.   
“Addy…please I need you, “gasped Jerome feeling like he could barely breath.   
“Addison,” screamed Jerome his head beginning to pound in tune with his heart. As this was all happening Jerome could suddenly hear a voice. At first he didn’t know what it was saying, but then he realized it was whispering his name. The voice started out as a whisper, but soon got louder.   
“J, wakeup,” exclaimed the voice sounding vaguely familiar in that moment.   
“J,” it continued.   
“Jerome wake the fuck up,” snapped the voice finally and it was in that moment that he finally recognized whose voice that was. It was Charlie’s voice. His eyes shot open then both his head and his heart still pounding.   
“J, you okay?” said Charlie slowly his eyes finally settling on her. Jerome didn’t answer her right away choosing instead to stare at her as if not seeing her, his mind still lost in the nightmare he had just had. But when he finally looked right at her he immediately saw the worried look on her face.   
“I’m…fine I just had a nightmare. Is Addison home from school yet?” whispered Jerome hoping that maybe that was why Charlie was waking him up. But it was only a small hope; if Addy was back she would have woken him up herself. Charlie could see that hope in his eyes and she hoped Addison would be back soon too. She was the only one who Jerome told of his nightmares. And seeing that hope in his eyes she wished she could give him the answer he hoped for, but she couldn’t.   
“Um…no, but Detective Gordon is here. He’s waiting in the living room. That’s why I woke you…that and I could hear you in here talking in your sleep,” said Charlie watching as he sat up.   
“Talking? What did I say?” whispered Jerome running a hand over his face preparing himself for whatever the detective would have to say. Signing he sat at the edge of the bed dreading the short walk into the living room.   
“Addison…you just kept saying her name. Um…Gordon’s waiting,” answered Charlie giving him a pat on the back and ruffling his hair making her way towards the door.   
“Don’t worry Bubba, Addison will be back soon,” continued Charlie smiling as she left the room. He didn’t follow her right away instead he remained sitting on his bed. He couldn’t get the nightmare he had had out of his mind. And most of all Jerome couldn’t help, but think about what if it came true. What if he lost Addison? He didn’t want to think about a life without her in it. Just the thought of that scared him to the bone.   
The thought of losing Addison scared him. It was one of his worst fears which is why he needed her back with him. He couldn’t wait for her to be home from school and back in his arms. As soon as she was Jerome had a sudden determination. He would tell her he loved her, he would apologize for all the pain he had caused her. And he would make sure his nightmare never came true; he would make sure he never lost her.


	20. Maybe Someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim comes to check in. Jerome and him have a talk. And Addison finally returns.

When Jerome finally ventured from his room he was surprised to find Detective Gordon helping Oliver with his chemistry. Despite Gordon having let him stay, Oliver hadn’t exactly warmed up to the guy, so it shocked Jerome that he would even let him help. “How’s it coming?” muttered Jerome making them look up at him when they heard the sound of his voice. The two of them looked at each other a second, Jerome could tell Oliver was unsure whether he was supposed to go back to not liking the detective, and shrugging he just looked back to Jerome. He hoped that meant he was going to start liking the detective because Jerome really didn’t care one way, or another. But he had to admit it might make things less awkward when the detective came to check up on him.   
“Good…but could you check it when I’m done?” signed Oliver finally smiling and returning to his work when he nodded a yes. Gordon locked eyes with him then silence around them for a split second.  
As Jerome sat down across from him Jim couldn’t help, but feel utterly confused by this kid. One minute he was throwing people off roofs, the next he was agreeing to check his younger brothers homework after he was done; Jim had thought he knew who Jerome Valeska was, but now he wasn’t so sure. He appeared to be a really good big brother, he appeared to genuinely love his family, and though he hadn’t seen him interact with his girlfriend very much she seemed like too nice a girl to go for psycho’s so Jerome must treat her good. Not to mention he doubted Charlie would keep him around if he did anything dangerous brother, or not. And still staring at the kid Jim couldn’t help, but think that he wanted to know who the real Jerome was.   
“Jerome, I heard you got some news for me,” whispered Jim all this still going through his mind. Watching the kid, he seemed fidgety, preoccupied, and it put Jim on edge a little.   
“Yeah, my aunt found something else wrong with me, but this problem can be fixed. She can give me meds to fix me. You can call her if you don’t believe me,” muttered Jerome looking him straight in the eye. Jerome was trying to stay focused. He was trying to focus completely on what the detective was saying, but his mind refused to do so. He was focused on everything, but the detective in that moment.   
Every time Jerome would focus in on the detective for just a second he would find himself straying again. He would find himself thinking of Addison. He would find himself replaying his nightmare in his mind. And then he looked up into the face of a very serious Jim Gordon realizing that he hadn’t heard whatever question he had just asked.   
“Jerome, are you alright?” snapped Jim clearly thinking that Jerome wasn’t taking this seriously when in fact he was. He took it very seriously.   
“Yeah,” whispered Jerome, but Jim could tell that was a lie.   
He was just about to confront him about it when he noticed the way Jerome kept looking at his brother. It was clear whatever was bothering him was something he didn’t want to say in front of him. Jim didn’t know what that was, but he knew he had to find out. Jerome had become his responsibility the moment he decided not to haul him back to Arkham. And at the time Jim was sure it was a choice he would come to regret. Now he wasn’t so sure, now he thought maybe Oliver had been right; Jerome wouldn’t get the help he needed there.   
“Let’s talk outside,” whispered Jim standing as soon as Jerome nodded his consent. As Jerome followed him he was suddenly scared, would his preoccupation get him shipped back to Arkham. He remembered his dream then and he felt deep unwavering fear that it would come true. He would be sent back to Arkham, he would never see Oliver, Charlie, his little siblings, and Addison again. Addison would be a happy memory from a previous life just like she had been before. But despite that fear he followed Jim outside having the sudden overwhelming need for a cigarette in the same moment. And it didn’t escape Jim’s notice that the moment they stepped outside Jerome pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket quickly lighting it.   
Silence remained around them as they stood there. Jerome just stood back against the trailer as he took a drag from his cigarette waiting for Jim to get out his cuffs. He wouldn’t put up a fight he decided, that would only make things worse for everybody. But again he wished Addison were back. He was sure Jim would let him say goodbye to his family, but he wanted so much to be able to say goodbye to her. To be able to kiss her one last time, to let his eyes run over her ingraining her in his memory before never seeing her again. But thankfully that moment never came.   
“You shouldn’t smoke,” remarked Jim waving his second hand smoke out of his direction.   
“Yeah, well sometimes you need something to steel the nerves, you know,” whispered Jerome letting the cigarette hang from his lips. Slowly then Jerome began to relax, just looking at Jim he could tell he wasn’t going to haul him off. Jim just stood there for the longest time staring straight at him as if trying to figure him out. But Jerome doubted he would be able to, he could barely do it himself.   
“So, what were you saying back there before I zoned out,” muttered Jerome meeting his gaze.   
“I was asking about your treatment and I asked you why I’d need to call your aunt to confirm what you told me,” said Jim giving him a look that made it clear he didn’t understand Jerome at all.   
“Because I wouldn’t believe me if I were you. You hate me not that I blame you,” exclaimed Jerome almost immediately refusing to look at him now.   
“Believe me, kid, if I hated you, you would be back in Arkham right now. Nothing anybody said, not your family, not your girlfriend, nobody could have talked me out of cuffing you, and taking you right back. As things are right now I still don’t really like you. You killed my Captain. You killed my friend, but despite that I don’t hate you because I realize that maybe it wasn’t all you. Galavan had a lot to do with it and one day you and I are going to sit down and talk about that. Not today though,” snapped Jim getting Jerome to finally give him all his attention. Jerome couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The detective really didn’t hate him which for some reason made him feel a lot better. Maybe that meant he didn’t have to worry that every time he stopped by he was going to take him back to Arkham.   
“But that’s not what was bothering you in there,” continued Jim crossing his arms then giving him a look that said spill it.   
“Can I ask you a question?” began Jerome hesitating still until Jim gave him a nod to continue.   
“Someday…I could be fixed. I could feel guilt for the things I’ve done and be normal like everybody else. So…maybe…someday would that mean I wouldn’t have to hide? That I could live a normal life with my family and my girl…that I could be like everybody else with a job, a family, that I wouldn’t have to be a hermit?” exclaimed Jerome looking at his cigarette then so he wouldn’t have to meet the detective’s gaze. It was nearly burned to completion so taking one last drag he threw it to the ground squashing it beneath his foot. Jim just stood there as Jerome waited for him answer. The question itself surprised him it was so far off from what he had thought Jerome was going to say. And he didn’t know what to say for some reason that even he didn’t understand despite knowing there was no hope of this he wanted to give Jerome some hope. Maybe he thought if he didn’t he wouldn’t have a reason to try and get better. Now he could have something to work towards, a dream no matter how hopeless to keep his spirits up.   
“It would definitely be safer for you to hide and I don’t know what’s going to happen years from now, but maybe. Maybe someday when people have forgotten about the Maniax altogether then maybe you could live a normal life Jerome. But that’s just a maybe because it might not happen. You have to realize that the things you’ve done won’t be easily forgotten,” explained Jim hoping this would be enough to give the kid hope. Jim knew that sometimes hope was all a person had. And though Jim had meant what he said he didn’t like Jerome, he still didn’t want to take away his hope.   
Jerome signed with the knowledge that he might forever be a burden, but he did feel that hope. That someday he could get a job, help Charlie, and maybe even give Addison everything she deserved. But still he felt that fear still too as he thought of his girl. That deep panicking fear that he would lose Addison just like in his nightmare, but then Jim asked him something making him give him back his full attention.   
“Why do you want a job?” asked Jim thinking in that moment that that was not something he could picture Jerome doing. To him, he seemed too carefree to be able to hold down a steady job. Every time he came by the kid was either sleeping, or off doing god knows what with his girlfriend.   
“So I can help Charlie. I’m eighteen nearly nineteen now she shouldn’t have to do it all on her own. I have people I love Jim…people I need to take care of,” explained Jerome stopping suddenly when one of those people came around the corner.   
“Hi,” smiled Addison stopping in her tracks when she saw them.   
It didn’t escape Jim’s notice that the second she appeared Jerome’s classic smile appeared on his face. It was the first time Jim had seen it since that day in the morgue. He didn’t know it, but it was Jerome’s first smile of the day. Jerome couldn’t take his eyes off her, she was so beautiful in his eyes; the most beautiful girl in the world. And she didn’t have to dress up, or wear makeup for him to think that she just had to stand there looking just as she was now. She was gorgeous and completely and utterly his. His girl and he loved her. Even Jim could see that as he watched him watch her, his eyes seeming to run over her looking for any change at all as he admired her.   
“Damn I love her,” thought Jerome taking in her hair in its simple ponytail, her tank top and jean clad body, and even her simple sneakers before looking into her eyes. And then he could take it no longer thoughts of his nightmare mingling with this thought. He had to touch her, to feel her in his arms, and kiss those lips he loved to kiss so much.   
Pushing away from the trailer, Jerome moved swiftly around Jim as he moved to stand in front of her. Taking her backpack from her, he set it aside in that moment he didn’t care if Jim was watching or not. She was his girl, he had been waiting all day for her to return, and he needed to kiss her to tell her he loved her. He wrapped his arms around her then holding her as if at any moment she might disappear like a goddess from a dream. Jerome looked into her eyes seeing just through them how much she loved him too. And seeing that he couldn’t wait anymore he kissed her lips hoping that with it she knew just how much he loved her too. Addison seemed surprised by the sheer intensity of it at first, but nonetheless she kissed him back. She could feel just what he wanted her to feel. She knew he loved her; he didn’t need to prove that; she would always know that. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she gripped his flaming hair moaning into his mouth as he continued to kiss her with such passion, and then he pulled her all the closer gripping the swell of her ass in his strong hands. Addison smiled against his lips then thinking in that moment that he must have really missed her. And then she felt his tongue glide over her bottom lip gaining access to her mouth with a gasp from her his tongue mingling with hers.   
“I love you,” whispered Jerome ending the overwhelming, breathtaking kiss hearing as she panted heavily in response to it. Addison smiled at him bringing her hand to stroke his cheek as she pecked him tenderly on the lips.   
“ I love you too baby,” breathed Addison her heart pounding with that very love as she pulled back peering into his eyes before diving right back in to kiss him again.   
“ That was some kiss you gave me; did you miss me?” whispered Addison when their kiss ended again wrapping her arms around him once more both of them still ignoring Jim as he stood there watching them. He watched their interaction with soft eyes, it was clear that Jerome loved this girl very much, and she returned it. It all made him see Jerome in a new light that he didn’t understand.   
“Yes, I missed you baby girl so much,” whispered Jerome burying his head in her neck for just a second before remembering Jim was behind them. Giving Addy one final lingering kiss, he turned them both in the detective’s direction. They found Jim staring at them, but the second they focused their attention on him he once again wore his usual face of stone.   
“Hello detective, checking up I see,” smiled Addison nodding her head in his direction.   
“Yeah, figured I wasn’t by all weekend it was time I made a check in. Jerome…why don’t you tell her the news you got today…I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear it,” exclaimed Jim clearing his throat. He watched as Jerome turned to her his arm still wrapped around her waist and as she looked up at him Jim noticed as she took his hand in hers intertwining their fingers. More and more he was seeing Jerome in a way he never thought he would.   
“Kristen came by today like she said she would. She found something else wrong with me, but it can be fixed. Addy, I can be fixed…there’s hope for me. She’s gonna give me some meds and I can get better,” exclaimed Jerome squeezing her hand pulling her instinctively closer. He could see just how happy she was just by the look in her eyes. And he felt it when she pecked his lips sweetly her smile very nearly matching his own when she pulled away.  
“J…baby that’s wonderful. I always knew you would…I told you, you just had to believe, and now look what’s happened. You’re gonna get better and everything is going to be just fine in the end. You wait and see,” exclaimed Addison kissing him once, twice, and then a third time before she remembered Jim standing there again though at that particular moment she didn’t really give a damn if he was there or not.   
“ I love you…I love you so much,” muttered Addison letting go of his hand then to hold his face in her hands their foreheads touching as she spoke. She kissed him one final time then making it impossible for him to say it back as she did so. Pulling away she smiled at him watching as he returned it his face still in her hands.   
“I’m going in when you get done here I’ll be waiting in your room,” smiled Addison moving away from him then quickly picking up her backpack. She gave Jim a wave as she went inside and waving back he waited a second before looking at Jerome who was watching her go before focusing on him again.   
“I’m about to leave so you won’t be leaving her waiting long. I’m going to call your aunt to see what type of meds she wants to put you on so I can look into them and I will be back so try to stay on your best behavior. Don’t let anyone see you for now; don’t be reckless because I do want to see you get better. I don’t want to have to take you back to Arkham. You have a girl and a family that loves you focus on that and getting better,” explained Jim his voice stern, but not as stern as it could have been. He couldn’t believe what he was thinking, but Jim had a feeling that someday he might actually like Jerome Valeska. Though he knew it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.   
“I won’t I promise. I want to be good now…for them,” whispered Jerome watching Jim go slightly surprised when he patted him on the back as he went. As he watched him go Jerome was determined he was going to keep that promise. He knew it would be key to his nightmare staying just that, a nightmare. He knew it would be key to maybe someday being free again.   
Jerome stood there a moment longer before going back inside going straight to his room. Addison was there like she said she would be and seeing her he closed then locked the door. She was sprawled out on the bed and crawling over her body Jerome couldn’t wait to kiss her. And as he did his nightmare continued to play like a movie in his head making him hold her all the closer.


	21. I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison and Jerome have a heart to heart.

“Jerome,” gasped Addison in between his fiery kisses her hands curling into his sides. He just didn’t seem to want to stop kissing her; it was like he was worshipping her with his lips as he laid there with her. He didn’t stop his attentions for the longest time, but when he finally did Jerome looked into her eyes. Those beautiful orbs of love filled light were his favorite thing about her; he wanted to look into them for the rest of his life.   
“Addy…I love you, I love you so much,” exclaimed Jerome his arms tight around her. His words made her eyes smile before her mouth as she wrapped her arms around him snuggling close. She loved him too, more than any one person should love another, she would always love him, and she hoped he knew that. That he saw that whenever he looked into her eyes, with every kiss she gave him, and even with every touch. Addison would never love anyone who wasn’t him and smiling finally she tried to tell him that without saying it at all for there were other things on her mind in that moment. Addison stared up at him what Charlie had told her repeating in her mind. Jerome had had a nightmare while she was gone, Charlie had had to wake him up because he was screaming in his sleep, and he had been screaming for her. He had been screaming her name and thinking back Addison couldn’t remember him ever doing that before. Part of her thought there was more to it then Charlie had explained it wasn’t just because he missed her; she was sure he had been screaming her name for another reason, but she didn’t know what it could be.   
“I love you too, J,” smiled Addison moving to hold his face in her hands as she kissed his lips not letting him break eye contact with her as their lips separated once more.   
“Baby, are you alright? Charlie told me you had a nightmare,” whispered Addison watching as he sighed his eyes closing. She expected him to pull away then, to say he didn’t want to talk about it, but Jerome didn’t do that this time. Instead Jerome only leaned closer to her their foreheads touching as she peered up at him through her lashes waiting for his eyes to open.   
“She told me you were screaming my name,” continued Addison her voice barely a breath as she felt him pull her closer still. Jerome held her so tight now; it was like he thought she would suddenly disappear from his world. Addison moved a stray lock of hair out of his face as she waited for him to say something, she would wait as long as he needed her to wait. She would be there to listen to whatever he had to say whenever he was ready to say it.   
“Jerome, look at me, open your eyes, and look at me,” whispered Addison gently stroking his head. Slowly then she began to kiss him beginning with his lips continuing to his cheeks and every inch of him that she could. She covered his faces in her loving kisses hoping suddenly he would open his eyes and confide in her like he always could.   
“Please, baby, look at me…you know I’m always right here for you. You know you can tell me anything no matter what,” breathed Addison in between kisses her mind reeling with so many questions as she did. She wanted to know what he was thinking and what his nightmare had put into his mind. What was he thinking in that red head of his?   
“Please, Jerome,” breathed Addison about to say more when suddenly he did it. Jerome opened his eyes looking down into her face, her angel face, Addison looked into his eyes, and the fear she saw broke her heart. She had never seen such fear in his eyes before. Seeing that fear, Addison knew she needed to give him everything he needed now. She needed to hold him, to let him pour out his heart until that fear was gone, so that is what she did. Addison kissed him sweetly on the lips in that moment as she wrapped her arms around him so he was cradled in her warmth staring into his eyes willing to wait as long as he needed for him to say what he needed to say. But she knew when he was nearly ready to do so because slowly she felt him relax in her arms.   
“I had lost you, Addy. You were gone…you were gone,” exclaimed Jerome his breathing becoming heavier with each word as he held her with an iron grip that fear taking up every cell in his body.   
“What do you mean, baby. What do you mean I was gone, you know I’d never leave you,” smiled Addison trying to reassure him. But in that moment she felt anger boiling inside her not at him, but at his mother. At everyone who had ever abused him, he wouldn’t have these nightmares, he wouldn’t think such things if they hadn’t mistreated him so. Addison also felt a sudden need to prove to him that she loved him, that she would always love him because she had a sudden fear that he didn’t know.   
“I would never leave you, Jerome. I love you,” continued Addison her voice cracking as she held back tears peppering his face in kisses over and over again feeling as he clung to her.   
“Tell me exactly what happened,” exclaimed Addison finally ending the kisses to look into his eyes.   
He stayed silent then his heart pounding as he pictured every scene from the nightmare again. He never wanted that to be a reality, He never wanted to lose his girl, and in that moment Jerome found he was so scared his whole body was shaking with fear.   
“In the nightmare…I was outside just standing there and Oliver came. He was like checking up on me because something was happening that day…something with you, Addison. You were…you,” exclaimed Jerome his breathing getting heavier with each word towards the end as he looked at her his eyes still fearful. She could see he didn’t want to go on, but Addison knew he had to. He couldn’t keep this bottled up deep inside himself and she had to know what was going through his mind.   
“What is it, J…what was I doing. What was happening…tell me,” breathed Addison stroking his head still. But he didn’t answer right away, he only leaned his head against hers once more his eyes closing for a brief second as he remembered it all.   
“We weren’t together anymore, Addy…and you were getting married…and it wasn’t to me. You were gone,” whispered Jerome his voice cracking now as he held back tears. Addison gasped in that moment her eyes widening as she looked right back at him. That was the last thing she had been expecting him to say.   
“Oliver said we had broken up because I couldn’t give you everything you wanted. I couldn’t give you everything you deserved because I have to hide for the rest of my life. So, you were getting married Addison…you were getting married, but not to me. Not to me…I couldn’t take care of you Addison, so I lost you…I lost you…I lost you,” cried Jerome his tears breaking through now as he looked down at her his breathing more labored than ever. Addison began crying too as she listened to what he was saying, to what had happened in his nightmare, and she shook her head because that would never happen. But she could see that he didn’t believe that as he cried becoming nearly hysterical as he looked down on her. Addison kissed him then despite the tears holding him as tight as he held her. And in that moment nothing was said between them, things remained silent for a long time as they cried together his face going to hide in the crook of her neck as she buried hers in his shoulder.   
In that moment she could see everything he said, she pictured it the way it must have played out in his mind, and pulling him closer she kissed every inch of him that she could reach.   
“I love you Jerome. I love you so much; I promise I’ll never leave you. I will always be your girl…you will never ever lose me,” exclaimed Addison clinging to him as he clung to her. She made him look at her then peering into his eyes as she repeated what she had said hoping he believed every word as she got rid of both their tears. Addison was determined in that moment to make sure she proved her love for him, that he knew she wasn’t going anywhere because she didn’t want to go anywhere. She never ever wanted to be parted from him, she had already lived a whole year without him, and it was the worst year of her life. She never wanted to experience that ever again.   
“Listen to me…I love you…that’s never gonna change. I love you with all my heart…I never ever want to be separated from you ever again…I’ve done that and I hated it. It was the most terrible time of my life. I love you, Jerome, I’m not going anywhere. I will always be right here next to you because I don’t wanna be anywhere else. I love you; I’ll never leave you,” cried Addison in the back of her mind remembering her year without him that alone bringing fresh tears to her eyes. As she said all of this, Addison stared him dead in the eye in an attempt to make him believe her. She hoped that he believed her because everything she said was the truth. In a way, it was the truth she lived her life by. When she was done and the silence surrounded them again he didn’t say anything. Jerome only stared at her; he stared at her for the longest time as if processing every word one at a time. He believed her, he could see she spoke the truth, but would that always be the truth. Jerome was just about to say that when she stopped him.   
“That’s never gonna change, Jerome. I’ve loved you since I was nine years old and I plan on loving you until I’m ninety, or until I die whichever comes first. I will never stop loving you,” smiled Addison as if reading his mind sealing this promise like declaration with a kiss.   
“I love you, Jerome. That’s never gonna change, if you ever want to get rid of me you’d have to send me away, and even then I might not go,” smiled Addison choosing that moment to flip them so that she was straddling him. She attacked his lips them kissing him as if it might be their last. She wasn’t going to give him a chance to argue, or question her because she spoke the truth. Addison would never stop loving him; she would never leave him because to do so would be like walking around day by day without her heart. And that’s what he was, her heart. Finally she held his face in her hands as she leaned her lips away their noses brushing as she stared down at him.   
“Please say you believe me,” breathed Addison pecking him on the lips one last time. Leaving one hand cupping his cheek then, Addison took his hand in hers intertwining their fingers, and still peering into his eyes waiting to hear what he had to say she brought their conjoined hands to her chest. She was silently telling him that she was all his, forever. That her heart was his, forever, and staring at her Jerome knew that. Finally he nodded his answer a hint of a smile returning to his lips as he accepted one last kiss from her. He let her sit up then bring his other hand to brush over her hip as she continued to straddle him. Jerome didn’t say anything still though watching as she kept their hands over her heart and slowly his smile widened because all he could think about in that moment was how much he loved her.   
“ I believe you, baby girl…I love you,” smiled Jerome using the hand she held to pull her back to him kissing her this time as a way to prove his point. He broke away then holding her face in his hands as he prepared to ask her one last question. It was the one question he really needed the answer to.   
“I love you Addy, but I need to know. Do I make you happy? I want to make you happy; do I make you happy?” whispered Jerome holding her close, as close as possible part of him determined to never let her go. His question made her smile and looking into his eyes Addison leaned into his touch. He made her the happiest girl in the world and from this point forward she would make sure he knew that.   
“Yes, baby, you make me very, very happy. Without you there is no happiness in my life. You’re the only reason I have to be happy…when you were gone…that’s the only time when I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy because I didn’t have you and then when I thought you were dead I seriously thought about ending it, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t leave Archer. But without you I was miserable. I missed you every day…I thought so many times about going to see you in that place, but everyone said you wouldn’t want me to, so I didn’t. But I missed you every day and now that I got you back I never plan on letting you go ever again. You make me so happy, Jerome, never doubt that,” cried Addison laying her head on his chest as he enrobed her in his embrace. She cried into his chest then as she remembered that time, her time without him, and feeling as he kissed her head Addison looked at him.   
“Don’t you ever leave me like that again,” whispered Addison.  
“Never again, baby girl,” whispered Jerome stroking her cheek moving tear stained pieces of brown hair out of her face. Nothing was said then as they merely looked at each other until finally she smiled waiting for him to do the same.   
But when he finally did it was tiny telling her he had more he needed to know.   
“Do you…want to get married…not that I’m asking,” exclaimed Jerome his words rushed.   
“As of right now…no, J, baby, neither of us is ready for that. I love you and I know you love me, but we’re just not ready to take that step in our relationship. But I promise you that when I am ready I will let you know because when I do walk down the aisle someday I’m only gonna do it if you’re waiting for me at the end of it. You’re the only one I’m ever gonna want to marry,” explained Addison smiling up at him as she toyed with the edges of his shirt.   
“You’re right…I know you’re right, but still if I had asked, would you have said no?” asked Jerome part of him relieved she didn’t want to get married while another wanted to ask just so there would be no chance she would ever leave him. If they got married right now, she would be his, all his, forever, and he did really want that.   
“Jerome, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that we’re not ready, but if you had asked I would have said yes. I’d say yes, but we wouldn’t be getting married today, or tomorrow…we’d be getting married maybe a few years from now…we’d wait until we’re ready,” explained Addison finally making him smile. Jerome kissed her then continuing to her jaw then her throat. He loved kissing her lips, they were his, he loved them, he loved her, and kissing her lips would forever be his favorite pastime. It was one of the things he missed most while in Arkham and now he was determined to never stop kissing her. It was gone now. The nightmare, the fearful thoughts it had inspired, it was all gone now, and he just wanted to kiss her, to love her forever. He knew the truth between them now and Jerome was determined he would never ever forget it. It and everything else she had said.   
Addison was his, she wasn’t going anywhere, they made each other happy, and kissing her again he had a need to seal the many declarations they had made.   
“I love you, Addison,” purred Jerome determined to show her that now. He wanted to shower his love on her his lips moving down her throat suddenly making her moan as he marked her.   
“J, baby…stop,” gasped Addison curling her fingers into his hair her body telling him the exact opposite. But he didn’t listen continuing to kiss her still. Jerome was going to show her that he loved her.   
“ Why should I stop…you know you don’t want me to,” hissed Jerome against her skin making her moan as her arms wrapped around him as he kissed her running his tongue over her lip for access immediately.   
“I love you; Addy…you’re my girl. Let me show you, let me love you,” breathed Jerome looking down at her now. Addison gazed up at him her eyes as heavy lidded as his own. Jerome could tell she wanted to give in, that she wanted him to make love to her as much as he did, but then her eyes left him. They eyed the door and he knew what she was thinking.   
“We can’t, the kids, Charlie and Oliver, their just outside the door…someone could walk in and catch us,” whispered Addison looking at him then back at the door.   
“No, they won’t, I locked the door. Nobodies coming in here unless we let them in and if we’re quiet they’ll never know. Come on, Addy, I want you, let me have you; I know you want me too,” whispered Jerome kissing along her jawline.   
“No one will walk in. As long as we’re quiet…come on baby girl, let me love on ya,” whispered Jerome moving his lips down her throat to the edge of her top just barely touching her cleavage. As he did so he felt her breathing quicken as his hold tightened on her and smiling against her soft beautiful skin he knew she would give in. And returning to her lips he kissed her filling that very kiss with his undying love for her and her alone.   
“The doors locked?” breathed Addison holding his face in her hands now. She felt his lips against her palm as he nodded.   
“Locked tight, baby girl, as long as we’re quiet no one will even know,” smiled Jerome attacking her lips. Addison ran her hands up his back then cradling his body between her knees as she gave into him.   
“With you, quiet is never easy, baby,” gasped Addison arching into his touch as he returned to litter her neck in his marks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you first of all to hnw_1999 for checking up on me. That was really sweet of you. The next chapter will most likely have smut also so be prepared.


	22. Making Love to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome and Addison make love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning like I promised there is smut in this chapter so if you don't like don't read.

Jerome marked her until that was all that could be seen on her skin. He covered her sweet flesh in kisses making her moan breathily as he said he loved her each time. And then when he could deny himself no more he returned to her gazing into her eyes claiming her lips with as much passion as he had in his entire body. He loved her more than anything and she knew that. She felt it in that moment as he dominated her lips still holding her like a man would hold a figment he didn’t want to disappear.   
“Jerome,” gasped Addison as his lips returned to her neck nuzzling it sweetly breathing in everything that was her, remembering a time in his life when he had believed he would never again hear his name on her lips. During his Arkham days, he had thought he’d never see her again, but now here he was. He loved her and he was so thankful to be back, to have her with him. He would show her that, he would never let her forget it, and looking down on her he promised himself he would never ever be separated from her again.   
“I never forgot about you in there. You were the only thought that kept me awake at night. You were the only thing always on my mind,” whispered Jerome stroking her cheek watching the tears form in her eyes.   
“And you know I never forgot about you either,” whispered Addison pulling him to kiss her ever so briefly.   
“J, make love to me, right now,” gasped Addison before repeating the same action. Jerome didn’t have to be told twice as he deepened the kiss the palms of his hands stroking the slender curves of her body. Addison moaned at his touch, his hands, the way they touched her always made her feel like glass, and it was one of the reasons she loved him. Nobody could make her feel the way he did. Even when they were kids, before they had become what they were now no one she knew had the effect Jerome had. She held him a little tighter then thinking that nobody else ever would. His were the only hands she wanted touching her in any way for the rest of her life.   
Jerome could bring goose prickles to her arms, legs, her whole body, and as his lips gave tender pecks to the slope of her neck she held him like a dream. Like if she didn’t he wouldn’t be there and would return to that place.   
“Sit up, baby girl,” said Jerome tugging her forward.   
“Let’s take this off,” growled Jerome his fingers finding the end of her shirt lifting it without another word drawing her in for a kiss as he let it land on the floor pushing her back down just as quickly.   
“Baby,” whispered Addison when his lips left her soon after moving lower to cover her whole body.   
“Shhhh…baby girl, I’m loving on ya. Let me love on ya,” breathed Jerome against her skin moving with a grace only he had down her body memorizing every part of her only coming back up to cover her lace covered breasts in more kisses. He traced the outline of her bra with his tongue feeling just how hot her skin was. Her grip on him loosened then as she brought her hands to grip the sheets her eyes closing for just a second before suddenly he bit her playfully. Her eyes flew open then and looking at him she smiled as their eyes met both filled with desire, lust, but most of all love. Returning to Addison’s lips, Jerome kissed her as his hands moved to unclasp her bra throwing it away to bring her breasts into view. He took them into his hands making her moan into their kiss.   
“I missed these, I missed you,” breathed Jerome their noses brushing.   
“I missed this too, being with you…and not just like this. I missed seeing you every day and feeling you always with me. I missed you, baby…I love you,” whispered Addison tears brimming in her eyes as she held them back not wanting to ruin the moment. Jerome kissed her then nodding his understanding as he held her breasts in his hands still. He smiled his signature smile at her then, he couldn’t believe he had thought she would forget about him while he was in there, he couldn’t believe he had waited two days to go tell her he was alive because now he knew she would always accept him, always love him. And kissing her with a passion reserved for her, Jerome vowed to never put her through such an ordeal ever again.   
“I’m not going anywhere ever again, baby girl. Don’t cry,” breathed Jerome seeing as they burst from their dam letting her hold his face in her hands as he ran his fingers over her face before kissing her again. He would prove that to her now along with many other things.   
“I’m never letting you go again,” gasped Addison as their lips parted letting her hands slip under his shirt telling him that she wanted it off. Jerome nodded his agreement as he rose to let her remove it. She didn’t waste any time doing so, throwing it like something that had offended her to the ground and pulling him back to her, she kissed him. He held her breasts in his hands again then as her own moved over his chest making his breathe hitch as she teased his nipples.   
This was stopped when he grabbed one of her hands holding it in his grip as he ran his tongue over her lip asking for entrance which she gave as she always did. They kissed then like two lovers in the rain who just couldn’t get enough, her other hand going to intertwine in his ginger locks until he pulled away. Looking down at her he smiled as he began to cover her jaw in sweet kisses.   
“I love you, Addy…you’re my girl…my beautiful girl,” breathed Jerome accentuating each word with a kiss as he made his way down her neck. He repeated these words over and over again, feeling as he did as her fingers moved over him threw his hair, along his shoulders, and god if it didn’t spur him on. But then she tugged him back up to her kissing him with a ferocity that turned him on immensely.   
“Jerome,” purred Addison in his ear as she pushed him to his back her body straddling his now.  
“Is this mine?” asked Addison playfully beginning to grind herself into the hard bulge in his pants.   
“Yes,” said Jerome simply sitting up to wrap his arms around her.   
With that single word he wasn’t just telling her that he loved her, he was telling her that he was hers a fact he found he needed her to know. Jerome would never even want another girl’s touch, no one else did it for him; only her. He tried to say this with his eyes as he placed tender kisses along her collarbone sliding his hands up her sides to cup her breasts.   
“I love you, baby,” gasped Addison biting down on her lower lip to suppress a moan. The feel of his hands on her would never get old. They were the only hands she ever wanted on her.   
Taking a nipple into his mouth, he fondled the other making her moan his name nearly too loud. It was a moan even with her biting on her lower lip she just couldn’t suppress.   
“Quiet, Baby girl,” growled Jerome teasingly licking the tip. Addison nodded her fingers curling into his hair to draw him back, her teeth biting into her lip harder. A million thoughts were running through her mind in that moment and all of them were of him. But prominent of them all was that one day she was going to get him truly alone. She would take him somewhere where no one would hear a sound they made and when he made love to her she would scream until she couldn’t talk, just for him. Jerome extinguished all thought from her mind though when he laid her back down. Claiming her lips, she could feel him still tweaking her hard nipples making her shiver for him.   
Jerome gave her breasts an appreciative squeeze then as he smiled sweetly at her as his hands moved down to her jeans opening them with a snap.   
“ I love you, baby girl,” whispered Jerome as he moved down her body then peppering her chest then her stomach in kisses as he removed the denim along with her panties.   
“You need to stop wearing these,” smiled Jerome tossing them at her making her giggle. But with one lick that was replaced by a moan.   
“Jesus…J, I can’t be quiet. You make it so hard,” gasped Addison feeling as he ran his tongue over her sex her legs thrown over his shoulders.   
“Try, Addy…unless you want someone banging on the door,” husked Jerome his grin telling her that he wanted her to be able to scream for him just as much as she wanted to.   
As he brought his cheek to rest on her thigh, Jerome looked up at her giving that same thigh a single kiss.   
“Or…do ya want me to stop,” said Jerome teasingly. Addison shook her head immediately moving a stray lock of hair out of his line of sight.   
“No, when have I ever wanted you to stop?” smiled Addison feeling another kiss on that same thigh. Jerome didn’t answer her with words, but instead with that grin returning to his task. And when he did Addison bit down on her lip so hard she swore she tasted blood. He made quiet so hard especially when he was licking her with such care. He knew which spots drove her crazy, he knew just what to do to make her fall to a puddle in his hands. It was yet another sign to her of just how much he loved her.   
“You taste so good,” growled Jerome nipping playfully at her clit making her swoon as he added his fingers sinking two digits into her warmth. She was dripping for him, a fact he took pride in as he suckled her bundle of nerves into his mouth. He did this repeatedly with a pop each time hearing as her breath became heavy the more he did and then burying his face in her folds his fingers still pumping inside her he really went to work. Flicking his tongue at her wet folds his own cock throbbing as she released a low moan, he suddenly curled his fingers inside her making her nearly scream before she clamped down on her lip. Focused nearly completely on his task, Jerome suddenly placed a delicate kiss on her sex before diving right back in, his love for her emanating off him like sweat. He loved her; he loved everything about her, her kisses, her taste, her smile, and especially seeing her like this. Jerome would never tire of her, he would always want to be buried balls deep inside her making her his; it was one of his favorite things to do other than kiss her.   
“Fuck, baby, don’t stop…I’m al…almost there,” squealed Addison his pace quickening as her hand gripping his hair in encouragement. He grinned then knowing exactly what he was going to do next his eyes flicking up to watch her as he brought her closer to an orgasm. Jerome loved seeing her like that in that moment knowing that he would be the only one to ever see such a beautiful sight.   
“Jerome,” breathed Addison feeling as his fingers left her about to beg him not to stop when she felt his tongue replace them. Licking at her walls, he groaned as he tasted her, the moan she couldn’t stop making him even harder as he sought to bring her off. When the hand in his hair gripped his fiery locks tighter he knew he was doing everything right. He brought his thumb to her clit stroking it slowly feeling as she began to shake barely holding on.   
“Come for me, Addy. Only me,” groaned Jerome before returning to work ,his own cock as hard as it had ever been.   
“J…” exclaimed Addison her hand slipping from his hair to fall helpless on the bed. He held her down then feeling as she quaked in her bliss her teeth digging into the soft flesh of her lip. She was the most beautiful sight. Jerome found he couldn’t take his eyes off of her as he drank her sweet release waiting until she had come down completely to stop. He didn’t move then simply watching her as she panted in the afterglow of it all. Slowly then he placed a single kiss on each of her thighs letting her legs fall from his shoulders as he made his way up her body until he held her Jell-O like form in his arms.   
He brought his body to cover hers stroking her cheek encouraging her to open her heavy lidded eyes.   
“You’re all mine. Baby girl,” exclaimed Jerome feeling the overwhelming need to tell her this kissing her. This was solidified to him as her heavy limbs encircled him pulling him so not an inch of space was between them.   
“I’m your girl, just like you’re my guy. All mine,” purred Addison kissing his lips feeling as he nodded before resting her head in the crook of his neck staying there a minute kissing the scar that rested there before she finally pulled away. Her hands moved down his chest then continuing to the opening of his pants.   
“I want these off,” whispered Addison carefully popping the button open her eyes never leaving his.   
“So do I,” whispered Jerome capturing her lips kissing her deeply their tongues playing.   
“Lift your hips,” whispered Addison in between rough sloppy kisses her fingers pulling at the zipper before pulling them down his legs along with his boxers letting both drop to the floor. The second he was naked too, she let her eyes run over him, her tongue darting out to trace her lips. She took his hardness in her hand, watching as his eyes became blown with lust just at the feel. And giving it a squeeze she helped him suppress a groan with her lips.   
“Your turn,” breathed Addison letting go of him to grip his shoulders instead rolling him to his back her body straddling him immediately. She kissed him then her hand slithering down taking him in hand again before running her tongue down his throat to his chest her eyes on him the whole time. He knew just by the look in her eye where her tongue was going to be next. Running her fingertips over his turgid length, Addison let her lips follow the same path, her other hand squeezing his balls. And then catching his eye, she grinned wickedly at him before slipping just his tip into her mouth sucking slow.  
“Addy,” breathed Jerome his hips bucking as she took more of him until she was full. Moving her lips over him slowly at first she increased her speed little by little knowing it would drive him mad. And it did, his hands came to guide her head as she took him balls deep again before suddenly releasing him. She ran her tongue down his length then as if tracing patterns into it making her way to his balls drawing them into her mouth as her hand worked him still. Addison continued to play with him like this until looking up into his eyes she knew he couldn’t take it anymore. Bringing her lips back to him she didn’t hesitate to take him again.   
“God, baby girl…so good…just like that,” whispered Jerome her hair framing her face as he watched her. She was such a sight, the way her lips engulfed him in the way he loved, the way she moaned at the taste of him genuinely enjoying herself as she brought him closer to release with each lick of her tongue. Only Addy could make such a sight so damn alluring; the sight of her was better than porn. Not that he needed it with her around. And then she locked eyes with him beginning to gag herself on his cock her lips running over him her speed increasing tenfold. She deep throated him perfectly, her mouth a warm cavern sucking him in with every movement; it was enough to make him lose it. And when he came she locked eyes with him sucking him down before releasing him with a pop when he was done spilling himself into her mouth.   
“ Was that good, baby?” smiled Addison not getting an answer as he laid her down again his lips on her quicker than a shark desperate for food. Wrapping her arms around him, Addison kissed him right back her tongue making its way into his mouth to tangle with his as he drew her legs around him. She could hear him growling deep within his chest the sound accompanying the beat of their hearts.   
“I love you, baby girl,” whispered Jerome wrapping his arm around her waist as he lined himself up with her entrance.   
“I love you too, I always will,” smiled Addison cupping his cheek in her hand. Closing the distance, they kissed slowly molding together as he entered her one inch at a time her breathe hitching. When he was fully inside her Addison made the kiss more passionate her hand moving up the back of his neck to curl at the back of his head. She felt as he stroked her sides, his loving moan lost in her mouth as he stayed still basking in having her. Having her, right there, with him, his.   
“I love you,” they whispered together their foreheads connecting as their lips parted finally neither of them making a move still as they peered at each other. As if to prove it then Addison wrapped her arms tighter around him, her legs clamping down around his waist as she pulled him into the deep love of her arms. She dove right back in then kissing his lips with a tender passion her love for him seeming to emanate from her very skin. Jerome looked at her then and he didn’t need to say anything, it was implied as he covered her in his kisses. He slowly pulled out of her then moving at a tender pace within her as he began to make love to her. Her tight walls squeezed him making him quicken his pace ever so slightly as he continued to peck at her skin with love. And god if the moans she released didn’t make him drunk, drunk on her.   
“ All mine,” purred Jerome running his lips over her neck making her gasp as he moved his lips to the rhythm of the words feeling as she moved with him. He covered marks he had already made practically writing his name on her as he kissed each little one until suddenly she grabbed the back of his head. Looking up at her he accepted her kiss his strokes becoming slow as he lost himself in it all too quickly.   
“Yours “gasped Addison her fingers like love bites as they roamed down his back.   
Jerome continued to make love to her then his lips covering her like a blanket as they scoured over all of her. His heart was hers, he wanted her to know that just as he did, and as he looked down into her eyes he could see she did. And then suddenly it was like he couldn’t contain himself as he claimed her lips kissing her with a passion as he quickened his pace. He knew if he hadn’t of covered her mouth with his she would be screaming. He knew by the moans he swallowed that she was nearly there and so was he, a few more thrusts, and they would be there. They would see fireworks together.   
“I love you, Addison. I promise I’ll take care of you, I promise,” gasped Jerome their lips barely parting as he spoke. She smiled at him then as she nodded her complete understanding. For she knew that he would, as he always had in one way, or another. Pulling him back to her she claimed him, not just his lips, but all of him.   
“I know baby and I’ll take care of you. I’ll always be right here with you, taking care of you,” breathed Addison before falling into yet another kiss her hands holding his face. Jerome pulled away from her then tightening the hold her legs had on his waist as he moved fast and hard inside her making her bite back a squeal her eyes wanting to close. But they didn’t, she kept them locked with his.   
“I love you, more than anything, Addison,” whispered Jerome then his lips covering her face again ,her eyes receiving the kisses last. Addison smiled at him in that moment as she pecked him sweetly on the lips ,his thrust the same despite the sweetness of the moment. And they remained that way staring love struck at each other as they made love.   
And it was in that way that they came together their own lips muffling the sounds they could not let free. The kiss not ending until their pleasure had died and they were a pile of nerve endings one atop the other. Then they laid there panting in the afterglow neither of them saying a word. They had already said it all. But eventually it was broken as Jerome took her face in his hands looking down at her with a heavy lidded tenderness.   
“I will ask you, someday, ya know,” husked Jerome the look his eyes bringing tears to hers. She knew exactly what he was referring to and staring up at him she knew he meant what he said. Everything he said since they had entered the room; he meant that and so much more. Addison didn’t say anything then as she peered into his green pools only leaning into his touch. But then she kissed him, her neck craning slightly before she pulled away looking at him still.   
“I know you will, baby. And when you do you know what I’ll say,” whispered Addison letting her head connect with his. And looking at her, Jerome nodded his head kissing her sweetly, a smile found his face then because he did know. They stayed like that for an unknown length of time, but soon he softened pulling out of her, but never letting her leave his arms. Lying by her side, he held her like gold never taking his eyes off of her. The moment was perfect, peaceful, but like all good things it didn’t last. Soon Oliver’s voice rang through the door.   
“Hay, J, could you come check my chemistry,” called Oliver the way he hesitated making them both think just maybe he had heard them. But after everything neither of them really cared. Instead Jerome rolled on top of her again hiding his face in her neck not giving an answer.   
“ Yeah, in a minute,” growled Jerome looking at the door then at her his look telling her he very much wanted to stay where they were.   
“I have homework to do too, so we would have had to get up soon anyway,” murmured Addison in an attempt to reassure him though part of her knew he never would have let her. Sighing, Jerome gave her another kiss before he sat up watching her do the same his eyes running over her naked body appreciatively. They got redressed taking their time to do so, stopping frequently to share lingering kisses.   
“Come on,” grouched Jerome when they were both dressed again moving to rise out of bed before she stopped him. Grabbing his arm, Addison pulled him right back down climbing into his lap. She wasted no time in kissing him with a fierceness that made him wish they didn’t have to leave before pulling back looking into his eyes one last time.   
“I love you, baby,” said Addison her face becoming serious.   
“I love you too, Addy,” whispered Jerome closing the distance between them one last time before reluctantly removing her from his lap taking her hand to lead her from the room.


	23. That Normal Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, things seem normal again for everybody, and Addison reveals her fears to Jerome.

Helping Oliver with his chemistry ended quicker than Jerome expected. He was proud to find his brother had gotten most of it right except for a few answers here and there. But even when he was done and Oliver had moved on to another subject, he sat there with Addison by his side doing her homework. Everything was silent, but Jerome didn’t mind that. In fact he really liked it; he had missed this; these small moments with his family. It was one of the things he had missed the most while he Arkham. Sitting there with his brother, his best girl, and just being with them. They had done it all the time before he had went away and though they didn’t always do homework it was always the best of times. And looking at Addy, Jerome remembered his time in Arkham again. He remembered long cold nights in his cell where she was his angel hiding behind closed eyes. Where she would appear like a vision telling him she loved him, that she always would. Though it had made him miss her more, it had reminded him that he had something to live for while in that hell. Even in that moment as they sat in silence they were connected, they had a connection that no distance or time could severe. They had a bond that wasn’t like anything he had with anyone else, not even his family. And he thought again about how much he had missed her. He had missed sitting with her like this with his arm around her. He had missed watching her work; he had missed the way her nose would crinkle when she was concentrating really hard on something. He had missed the alluring sight of her putting the tip of the pencil between her teeth her fingers tapping in frustration. Most of all he had missed sneaking kisses onto her neck, her cheek, even her lips while she worked making her smile. He had even missed playing with her hair in the most distracting way so that she couldn’t think. Just so she’d give him that look.   
He loved the look she would give him when he was distracting her and she needed him to stop. The same look she was giving him right at that very moment.   
“What are you doing?” said Addison that piercing look of love, annoyance, and happiness filling her eyes.   
“Nothing,” whispered Jerome smiling his signature smile at her making her do the same. Jerome continued to stare at her as he played with the individual strands of her hair. Her smile got wider as he did so and though she tried to ignore him as always Addison found she just couldn’t. It was Jerome, he had always been hard to ignore.   
“J, I have to get this done,” whispered Addison giving him that same look before sighing turning more so she was facing him.   
Slowly she moved closer to his side her pencil dropping to the table as she placed a hand on his chest.   
“Please, quit it,” murmured Addison just before her lips brushed over his pulling away quickly, but still looking into his eyes with a tender love.   
“You’re being distracting,” whispered Addison. With his arm still around her shoulders, Jerome brought his other hand to her side gently stroking it making her quiver the way he always did.   
“Maybe I like distracting you, I haven’t done it in so long I needed to make sure I still know how,” breathed Jerome bringing her closer to him. He slowly closed the distance between them knowing she would do nothing to stop him and with no hesitation he kissed her. He kissed her the way he had dreamed of while away, with a sweet, tender passion that would leave her knowing she was his. His girl and his love.   
“Tell me, baby girl, can I still distract you better than anyone else?” said Jerome teasingly not expecting her to answer with a kiss of her own making him moan deeply. With her fingers in his hair, Addison kissed him long and deep making him moan again as she reveled in having him back. After having lost him for a year having him back would never get old.   
“Yes and lucky for you I did miss you distracting me,” gasped Addison smiling at him as the kiss ended giving him a final peck.   
“Really, I’ll make sure to distract you all the time then to make up for lost time. After all, I missed distracting you too. It is one of my favorite activities,” exclaimed Jerome making her laugh. In the middle of her laugh, Jerome took the opportunity to pull her into his lap. Wrapping his arms tight around her, Jerome smiled tenderly at her as he leaned close to her feeling a heat that seemed to radiate right off of her.   
“ I love it when you distract me,” whispered Addison so only he could hear, her lips colliding with his as she held his face in her hands hearing as he growled in response using her hips to pull her as close as he could get. It was their moment, a moment for love, a moment about him and her, but within one second it ended.   
“Would you two cut it out…there are children in the room, you know,” said Charlie bringing them out of their moment completely. In one sudden movement, they broke apart both of them had tiny smiles on their faces as Addison turned still in Jerome’s lap to face the others in the room. Charlie and Oliver were both staring at them smiling as they shook their heads at their display of affection. It wasn’t that they weren’t used to it, but it had been awhile since they had gotten to rib them about it. Slowly it was as if everything was going back to normal. The moment didn’t last long, soon everything grew quiet again. Addison returned to her homework. As she began to concentrate again, Addison stayed on Jerome’s lap feeling so safe as he wrapped his arms around her tighter, his head finding its customary place on her shoulder.   
“Done,” breathed Addison a little while later leaning back into his chest with a sigh, her head connecting with his. The silence continued as Jerome held her silently promising to keep her safe as he kissed her shoulder. He could feel as she grew sad, he hated when she was sad, and it was one of his goals in life to always be the one to make her happy again.   
“Talk to me, baby, tell your Jerome what’s wrong. You know I hate it when you’re sad,” purred Jerome letting his hands find hers. Gently he intertwined their fingers as he kissed her shoulder doing the same to her neck. He continued as he felt her begin to relax again and holding her tighter he turned her head to the side making her look at him.   
“It’s getting dark…I have to go home,” murmured Addison closing her book with a snap.   
“Then don’t go…stay with me,” said Jerome quickly gently pecking her on the lips. If he could he would keep her with him always that way Nathan couldn’t hurt her. She was his to protect and as long as she loved him he would protect her. Even if she stopped he was pretty sure he would still protect her. She was his girl no matter what happened. She smiled at him then her eyes telling him just how much she wanted to accept that offer.   
“I can’t, I have school in the morning,” sighed Addison turning in his lap to face him. Taking his face in her hands, Addison kissed him again letting their foreheads collide as she looked into his eyes. Just looking into them again she felt okay. She felt a calm run through her as she let him hold her close reveling in the safety he provided her.   
“If I said I’d wake you up for school in the morning then would you stay?” whispered Jerome a pleading look entering his green eyes. Looking into his eyes, she wanted nothing more than to say yes, but shaking her head Addison knew she couldn’t. He could barely wake himself up in the morning, how was he supposed to get her up?   
“You can’t get yourself up in the morning,” smiled Addison kissing him.   
“Come on, Addy, stay with me. I don’t want you to go. I love you; I need you here with me. Don’t go,” pleaded Jerome making her smile as he peered up at her with those puppy dog eyes she loved.   
“Baby, I can’t. Not tonight, but I promise Friday I’m all yours. Saturday too, after all I can’t leave you lonely on your birthday,” whispered Addison watching as he suddenly remembered the event.   
“I forgot again…it’s on Saturday,” whispered Jerome looking away from her a minute not returning to her until she removed herself from his lap. He wanted her there again immediately, but as she walked back into his room for her bag he couldn’t deny he liked watching her walk away. She was the beauty to his beast.   
When she returned, he watched as she began to pack up her things and slowly he stood too. Jerome watched her for a moment trying to think of a way to get her to stay, but sighing he knew there was nothing he could say. Addy was dedicated to her schooling and he was proud of her for that even if it annoyed him sometimes. When she was all packed up she looked at him as she approached him wrapping her arms around his neck. Standing on her toes, she kissed him, a kiss which he quickly deepened holding her against him savoring the feel of the way their bodies melded perfectly.   
“I better get you all to myself this weekend. I want some uninterrupted Addy time for my birthday,” growled Jerome part of him remembering events from earlier. He was pretty sure that if Oliver hadn’t intervened they would still be lying naked in his bed.   
“I’ll see about arranging that, baby,” whispered Addison kissing his lips with a nip to his bottom lip before breaking away to sling her bag over her shoulder.   
“Let me walk you home,” whispered Jerome reaching to hold her hand.   
She gave his hand a tug in answer and led him from the trailer without a word from anyone. Night had fallen quickly and they both knew as long as they were careful no one would see them. As they walked under the cover of darkness hand in hand, Addison couldn’t help looking at him from time to time. Every time she felt a burst that was a mixture of happiness and sadness with something else completely. That something else was a normalcy that she hadn’t felt since his return. Addison had missed this. She had missed him. Her Jerome, her carrot cake, her baby. Addison had thought she would never see him again and now that she had him back she was determined to never let him go again. For she had missed this, for this was how it was supposed to be; just the two of them. Jerome and her were meant to be and now for the first time since his return it all felt good again. It all felt back to normal; like the past year had never happened. But still the sadness was there too because she knew in the back of her mind that it had. That plagued her because every day she lived with her deepest darkest fear. And as that fear surfaced Addison didn’t realize as she began to stare at him without stopping.   
Addison was so afraid she was living in a dream. That one morning she would open her eyes to find it all was true. That he hadn’t come back. That her Jerome was gone and really had died before her eyes on TV. She opened her eyes every day hoping she wouldn’t go to his trailer to find it all to be true. That he was gone; that he was dead. And as she stared at him that’s all she could think about. Addison loved Jerome. She didn’t want to have to live the rest of her life without him. Jerome hadn’t failed to notice her endless staring and he stared back. He stared right back, but she didn’t react the way he expected instead she just kept staring.   
“Want to tell me what’s on your mind there, baby girl,” exclaimed Jerome bringing her back with a start.   
“Just thinking is all,” sighed Addison letting her eyes linger on him. Giving him a smile, Addy pulling him closer using the hand she held, and draping his arm over her shoulder, she leaned into his side. He didn’t fail to notice that she still watched him out of the corner of her eye.   
“Thinking, huh,” breathed Jerome watching her as they walked not minding at all the way she clung to him. It wasn’t completely unusual for her to hold him like this, but something about the way she looked at him shook him. There was so much love there, but so much sadness too. It was that sadness that made him stop them pulling her where no one would see them quickly pulling her so they were chest to chest.   
“I think you were doing more than thinking, Addy,” whispered Jerome making her look at him seeing tears ready to fall.   
“Tell me what you were thinking,” whispered Jerome beginning to get rid of those tears as he walked with her by his side again.   
She didn’t answer, not right away, instead she laid her head on his shoulder as they walked, and she began to cry.   
“I was thinking that I’m afraid this is a dream. That I’ll wakeup and you’ll really be gone. I was thinking that for the first time everything feels normal again. Like the past year never happened,” cried Addison stopping to wrap her arms around him. Her words range in his head and holding her tight he kissed the top of her head.   
“Addy, I’m here. I’m right here and I promise you this isn’t a dream. You will never wakeup to find me dead because I am here, right here with you, and I’m never leaving you ever again. I’m always gonna be right here with you,” exclaimed Jerome letting her bury her head in his chest as he spoke his fingers gently stroking her head. When he finally made her look at him again, Jerome kissed her tenderly before covering her face in kisses silently telling her he loved her. Silently telling her that he was real and was never leaving her again. They stayed like that in the darkness for a minute as he held her letting his words sink into her mind. But then they were walking side by side again his arms still tight around her.   
“I love you, Jerome,” smiled Addison reaching up to kiss him.   
“I love you too, Addy,” breathed Jerome. They walked in silence then until her house came into view. Jerome didn’t miss the smile on her face when she saw Nathan wasn’t home yet. They stopped then and before she could stop him Jerome backed her up against a tree his arms on either side of her. Grinning down at her, Jerome wasted no time in kissing her with a heat that only she could raise in him. He kissed her with a tender passion feeling as her hands splayed out along his back his own doing the same.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” breathed Addison as the kiss ended.   
“Good, I never want to go a day without seeing you ever again. I went a whole year without you, I think that was long enough,” growled Jerome moving a stray lock of hair out of her face letting his fingers linger against her cheek. He gazed down at her then as if she was a work of art and smiling Addy felt that way. Just the way he looked at her could make her feel so beautiful and leaning close she touched her nose to his.   
“Agreed,” murmured Addison kissing him quickly. But they didn’t walk away right away, they stood there staring at each other, and they were lost. Lost to only each other before suddenly they blinked realizing the time had come for them to part ways. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked away and turning she blew him a final kiss before entering the house. As soon as she was inside, Jerome walked away not wanting to risk being seen. But even as quickly as he walked there were many things on his mind.   
Addison, his family, everything they had said today, it all ran through his mind. He felt a reassure now that Addy was his forever that she would never leave him. He still had things to figure out concerning his family, but Jerome told himself he would fix that with time. But then another topic entered his mind; his birthday on Saturday. He was days away from being nineteen years old and he wasn’t even close to where he had thought he’d be. He wasn’t doing any of the things he had thought he’d be doing.   
“I should be helping Charlie,” thought Jerome feeling a sudden weight on his shoulders. He was never going to be able to do that, not for a long time at least. He was going to be a burden on her, someone she would have to take care of long past the time when she was supposed to. He was going to have to hide for the rest of his life and try as he might he couldn’t come to terms with that. He would accept everything else, but that. Even as he got home going straight to his room, it wouldn’t leave him mind.  
“Archer’s with his mom, so I’m alone until Nathan gets home,” thought Addison as she entered the house feeling a surge of happiness at this.   
“I miss Jerome already,” continued Addison as she entered her room lying across her bed. The alone time would have been even better if Jerome was with her. Sighing she considered everything she and Jerome had said today. Slowly then, she felt her happiness return tenfold as it all sunk in.   
He was real, it was all real.  
“He’s not dead and he’s here to stay,” whispered Addison with a smile a weight seeming to fall from her shoulders. She would no longer have to fear closing her eyes. Jerome wasn’t going anywhere and just the thought that they would be together forever made her smile nearly mimic his. They were still madly in love, he wanted to be with her forever, some day they might even get married, but even if they didn’t they would have the rest of their lives to be together. He was just as afraid of losing her as she was of losing him and today they had promised each other forever. It was a promise she knew they both intended to keep. As that topic fell from her mind like sand, Addison let it drift to other ideas, and suddenly she began to plan. She wanted everything to be perfect for Jerome’s birthday. She knew she would bake him a carrot cake as she always did, she knew she would probably give him birthday sex, probably more than once if possible, but what else could she do to make it a happy day for him. As the plan formed, her eyes landed on an envelope she had forgotten about a long time ago. It was something she had done for Jerome when he went to see his mother; she had hoped it would cheer him up when he got back, but he hadn’t come back. So the Manilla envelope had been there waiting for her attention again and looking at it now Addison wondered if she should give it to him. She would never give it to anybody else. They were for his eyes only, but what if he didn’t like them. What if he thought they were trashy, or got mad at her for taking them? Addison didn’t know what to do and staring at the envelope still Addison sighed. She would have to make a decision before his birthday.


	24. A Surprise Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome's aunt pops in unexpectedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hay, sorry I've been away so long, but I've had finals and other stuff going on that required all my attention. I am back though so expect frequent updates. Thank for reading.

The days that passed were not Jerome’s best. He wanted the weekend to get here already. But time seemed to move like snail. Tuesday proved to be a terrible day altogether. Addison couldn’t come by after school because she had to watch Archer. This left Jerome alone for most of the day. Everyone else was too busy. Jerome ended up helping Charlie clean the trailer in between the kids’ home school stuff. For some reason on that particular day the little ones just wanted to be little shits. They wouldn’t do anything they were told and by the end of the day Jerome had the biggest headache ever.   
The next day wasn’t much better. Jerome was grumpy from the beginning. Jackson and Chloe woke him up at seven and wouldn’t let him sleep the rest of the day. Charlie had to work that day too, so Jerome was left alone to do the home schooling himself. They were a little more corporative then the day before. But then it got even better. The school stuff was over with and just as he was wishing Addison was there she appeared. Jerome didn’t care that she had to bring Archer; all he cared about was that she was there.   
On Thursday the day started out rather good for Jerome.   
“You can sleep in today, bubba. I got the kids,” said Charlie when he woke up. Jerome only nodded before heading back to his room to sleep until noon. When he woke up the kids were actually behaving, but Oliver was gone. Apparently he had taken off as soon as his school stuff was done. But that wasn’t the most surprising thing that happened that day. That happened when his aunt Kristen popped in for a surprise visit.   
For reasons that Jerome couldn’t explain completely even to himself Jerome felt weird about this. Usually she called to arrange her visits ahead of time, but not today. Instead there was just a knock at the door and when Charlie opened the door there she was with a smile on her face. As they went into his room like they usually did Jerome thought he knew why she had suddenly just popped by. He thought that she wanted to test him, to see what he would do when he didn’t have time to prepare for her visit. That was the source of the tension in the air when the door was closed and they sat there in silence together. Kristen didn’t understand the silence at all. Usually Jerome was a little hesitant to talk to her, but he usually warmed up to it after a minute. Now though he wouldn’t even look at her.   
“Why are you so quiet, Jerome,” whispered Kristen a soft smile on her lips.   
Jerome didn’t answer her at first, he felt like veil had been lifted, and he was seeing everything for the first time. He was just now seeing how everyone saw him. And he hated it. He had thought they trusted him, that he didn’t scare them anymore, but this proved him wrong. They would never trust him again. The knowledge of that made him want to cry, but he held it back. Jerome just wanted to go back in time to before he killed his mother, to when he was happy. To when he was sure, really sure about how the people around him saw him.   
“No one trusts me anyone. Not since I killed all those people. You all pretend to, but it’s all an act. No one trusts me, not you, not Charlie, no one,” exclaimed Jerome gripping the sheets as his hands balled into fists. Kristen was surprised by what he said. It was the last thing she had been expecting, but she understood why he might feel that way. In many ways he was right, they were always looking over their shoulders at him. Everyone was so scared, but not of him. They were scared for him because none of them wanted him back in Arkham. He was wrong though if he thought they didn’t trust him because that couldn’t be farther from the truth. They all knew he would never hurt them. She moved to his side then taking his hand.   
“Jerome, we love you. You know that, we aren’t looking over our shoulders, at least not in the way you think. We love you, we’re all scared we’re going to lose you again,” whispered Kristen turning his face towards her she made him look her in the eyes.   
“Then why are you here without calling? You always call before visiting me, but today you just showed up. You’re here to make sure I don’t act crazy. That my demeanor when you visit isn’t just an act,” exclaimed Jerome shaking his head violently.   
“Jerome, I am not here to check on you. Not like that, you’re not just my patient, you’re my nephew. I love you too. You’re my family and I came to see you because of that. That and I wanted to tell you about the meds I’ve decided to put you on. I figured you’d want to know a little bit about them before just taking them,” said Kristen frowning at him. Though she hid it, it hurt her that he didn’t realize that already. Jerome didn’t say anything in response at first. He sat there staring at her everything she said going through his mind. He wanted to believe everything she said. Jerome wanted to believe that they all trusted him. But that wasn’t what bothered him the most. What really bothered him was that evil, sick part of himself was happy they didn’t trust him. It was happy they might be scared of him. It thrilled him and Jerome hated that. He didn’t want that, deep down that was the last thing he wanted.   
“I don’t know how anyone feels about me anymore. I want them to trust me, to not be afraid. I love them; I would never hurt them,” whispered Jerome looking into her eyes now.   
“We’re not afraid Jerome, you have to believe that. If we were, I’m sorry, but you’d be back in Arkham. We love you; you need to know that. So, I think it’s time we had our first family counseling session next time I come. But now I want to talk about the meds I want to start you on,” said Kristen giving his hand a squeeze. Jerome didn’t say anything as he looked from her to the floor.  
“What’s the meds called,” whispered Jerome sighing.   
“It’s called Fluoxetine. It has shown vast improvements in curing people in your condition. I think it can help you get better. It has a few side effects, but nothing major that we need to worry about. Would you be willing to give it a try?” said Kristen looking hopeful. Jerome didn’t answer, but slowly then he nodded before accepting a hug from her.   
Kristen left after that leaving him alone in his room. Before she left she told Charlie everything as Jerome knew she would. For just like she always did Charlie appeared in his doorway.   
“J, you ok?” said Charlie attempting to give him a smile which he returned, but halfheartedly.   
“As good as can be. What did Kristen tell you?” smiled Jerome in an attempt to reassure her.   
“She told me about those meds. She says they can help. She also said she would be back to see you on Monday, that we would be having our first family counseling session,” explained Charlie their eyes meeting in that moment.   
“You ok with us doing that?” said Charlie looking unsure. He didn’t answer her at first. The truth was Jerome didn’t know how he felt about it. He wanted to know how they all truly felt about him, but another part was afraid he wouldn’t like whatever it was they were going to say.   
“Yeah, I think it would be good, but do you think Addy could come? It’s a school day,” whispered Jerome.   
“Addison loves you, for you, she would do anything. Hell, J, she’d probably skip the rest of the year,” smiled Charlie laughing at the mere idea of Addison missing such a thing for anything even school. Jerome couldn’t help it, he smiled too because he knew it was true. Addison would go to the end of the world for him.   
As if on command, Addy arrived home from school with Archer once again in tow. After getting him settled with the others, she moved back to Jerome’s room. Charlie stopped her on the way quickly telling her about the events of the day. It wasn’t until she had heard everything that she continued on into his room.   
“Hay, baby,” whispered Addison as she sat her bag by the door before leaning down to capture his lips with her own. Jerome pulled her down by his side as they kissed and even when they broke apart she stayed by his side looking into his eyes.   
“So, Charlie told me everything already,” whispered Addison stroking his cheek lying down on the bed so he could lay his head on her chest.   
“You’ll be here on Monday, right?” Said Jerome instantly.   
“Of course I will. I wouldn’t miss it. Which is why I have some great news,” whispered Addison her fingers moving through his hair.   
“What?” whispered Jerome looking at her?   
“Well since I have to be here on Monday, Charlie said it was alright if I stayed over with you for the entire weekend,” smiled Addison stopping when he suddenly kissed her his hands stroking her sides.   
“So, you’re mine all weekend. You won’t go home, not even once?” whispered Jerome smiling insanely as he kissed her over and over again feeling as she nodded. For a while then he only kissed her seeming to be much happier now that she had arrived. His head found her chest again soon after that and nothing was said. Addison knew a lot was going through his mind and was willing to wait forever until he was ready to open up about it. All was silent as they laid together until suddenly she caught him looking at her.   
“What is it, J,” whispered Addison moving a stray lock of hair out of his face. At first he just kept staring at her, but then he sighed leaning into her touch as her fingers continued to roam through his hair.   
“Did Charlie tell you about the meds,” said Jerome finally looking at her with a worried expression.


	25. Tell Me Your Fears and I'll Try to Make it Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hay everyone, so this chapter picks up where the last one left off. I hope you like it and if you do that you will leave a comment. Thank you so much.

“What is it, J?” whispered Addison moving a stray lock of hair out of his face. At first he just kept staring at her, but then he sighed leaning into her touch as her fingers continued to roam through his hair.   
“Did Charlie tell you about the meds?” said Jerome finally looking at her with a worried expression.  
“Not much, why?” whispered Addison his question catching her off guard as she continued to try to sooth him. A silence fell between them then as she waited for him to tell her more. Her fingers continued to go through his hair as she waited and as soothing as it was Jerome couldn’t let it help his worries away. So, when he could take it no more he grabbed her hand holding it in his own. His eyes never left hers then and as Addison peered into his eyes she realized just how worried he truly was.   
“What is it, baby? You can tell me whatever it is. I’m always here for you, you know that,” said Addison taking his face in her hands. She peered into his eyes then hoping he saw every ounce of love she had for him in her eyes. She wanted him to know she was here, that he could trust her no matter what the situation might be. But the look in his eyes worried her; he looked so scared, so unsure.  
“I don’t know about these meds Kristen wants me on, Addy. I know nothing about them. What did Charlie tell you about them?” whispered Jerome leaning into her touch even more then he already was. Addison held him tighter in her arms in that moment her forehead connecting with his. She didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to sooth his fears because like him she didn’t know much either. But she would find any way to reassure him though at the moment she wasn’t sure how she was going to do that.   
“She didn’t tell me much about them, Jerome. She told me that Kristen’s gonna have you started on them soon, but other than that I don’t know much. I don’t even know what meds you’ll be on,” said Addison watching as his whole body seemed to deflate a deep frown marring his face before she lost sight of it as he buried it in her neck. Addison didn’t know what was happening then, she didn’t know if he just didn’t want to talk about it anymore or if he was just taking a minute, but then she felt it. The wet saline of his tears on her neck as he began to cry into her neck and just the feeling of it put Addison in shock. Jerome rarely cried, she had hardly ever seen him cry, but seeing it now she didn’t have to think she acted immediately. Without a seconds hesitation Addison pulled him as close as he could be to her as her fingers traveled to stroke his head once more. Her arms wrapped around him tight then feeling as his did the same almost instantly. Nothing was said between them, they only laid there as she comforted him, all she wanted was his tears to stop, for him to smile his smile, and be happy again. Kissing his cheek Addison was determined in that moment to do that.   
“J, please, talk to me. What’s going through that head of yours? What are you so worried about?” whispered Addison feeling as he clung to her in response. The silence remained for an insufferable amount of time. But finally Jerome looked at her, only when he did that did Addison stroke his cheek. Taking his face in her hands then she kissed him sweetly her eyes sincere asking for the truth. And as Jerome kissed her back he knew he could trust her with his feelings; he knew he could trust her with the thoughts in his head something he trusted very few people with.   
“J, please,” said Addison one final time her eyes pleading with him now. Jerome knew he would tell her as he always did, but he needed a minute. So, hiding his face in the warmth of her neck, Jerome breathed in the fruity scent that was her before looking at her again.   
“You can tell me anything,” whispered Addison pecking him on the lips feeling as he leaned in close seeming to savor her very touch and kiss.   
“I know,” whispered Jerome in return as their lips parted his lips turning up in a smile as he gazed up at her, his Addy, the love of his life. He knew she would always be there to listen as she had been since the day they met.   
“I don’t know anything about these meds, Addison. Everyone says their gonna help me, but what if they don’t? All I want is for everything to go back to the way it was, I want to be normal again, but what if these pills don’t do that? What if nothing ever will? I’m afraid, Addy, afraid that they’ll turn me into some sort of robot. I mean, what if I’m not me anymore?” exclaimed Jerome his voice telling her just how much he really feared what he spoke of. Addison pulled him down into her arms in response her hands moving up his back and down again soothingly. She could understand why he was scared, he wanted to get better, but not at the expense of whom he was. She wanted the same thing. As much as she knew he should take the pills, if they were going to hurt him she wouldn’t let him take them. She would protect him at any cost. He felt her lips touch his cheek again and when he looked at her again Jerome knew she would make it better. She would say something to send his worries away for good, Jerome knew that because she always could, that was one of the reasons he loved her.   
“J, these meds are meant to help you. I mean, think about it, Kristen wouldn’t put you on anything that would hurt you. These meds will make you better; they won’t make you a robot or anything like that. They will cure you just as their meant to,” said Addison his face in her hands once more.   
“Yeah, but what if there’s side effects or some shit like that? What if it does help, but I have to live with some other problem for the rest of my life? What if—,” exclaimed Jerome before suddenly Addison stopped him.   
“Stop it; you’re getting yourself all worked up for nothing. Jerome, there are a million things that could happen, but if you worry about all of them you’ll worry your life away. You need to forget about the what if’s and have faith that everything will be fine. Everything will be fine and you will get better,” whispered Addison looking into his eyes with conviction in her own. She felt him sigh then as his forehead fell against her own and closing his eyes she felt him nod his head in agreement. But even though he agreed with her Addison knew that wouldn’t make his worries go away. A silence fell then, Jerome thought for a second she had nothing else to say. But then with a kiss to his lips she continued.   
“And even if there is some sort of side effect that comes with these meds, you’ll get through it. We all will because you will never be in this alone, Jerome. I will be here to get you through this no matter what. So, will Charlie and Oliver and Kristen. We love you, baby, we’ll be here by your side until your better again,” whispered Addison giving him a smile.  
“I love you,” whispered Jerome in response as he looked up at her with watery eyes. Addison nodded in response not having to say the actual words for her to know she loved him too as she kissed him with passionate sweetness on the lips.   
“If you’re still worried I can go get Charlie’s computer and we can look the side effects up,” whispered Addison as their lips parted her eyes filled with concern for him. She only wanted to make him feel better and if that was the only way how she would do it. Jerome only nodded in response before accepting another simple kiss from her. Lifting his body from hers then Jerome let her scramble from beneath him to get Charlie’s computer. Addison returned to his side quickly sitting on the bed as the device sat on her lap booting up. As they waited for it to be ready Addison felt his arm move around her in the same moment as his head found a place on her shoulder and turning her head their eyes met. Leaning in close in the same moment their lips connected in a slow passionate kiss, by the time it was over the computer was ready.   
“Tell me the name of the medication,” whispered Addison drawing away from him to focus completely on the computer screen.   
“Kristen said it’s called Fluoxetine," whispered Jerome never taking his eyes off of her as she began to type. At the sound of the name Addison couldn’t help, but crinkle her nose in distaste. Jerome noticed it immediately and kissing her cheek he leaned in close breathing her in again. She could be so cute sometimes, it made him love her more than words could express.   
“Here, I think this is it,” said Addison breaking him from his thoughts.   
“That was quick, “said Jerome squinting his eyes at the computer screen.   
“Computers aren’t as bad as you think, sometimes they’re pretty helpful,” smiled Addison knowing how much he hated computers because he had never learned to use one. Addison quickly clicked on a link, a bunch of words popped up, and looking at Addy he couldn’t help it when he smiled.   
“What’s it say?” whispered Jerome watching as her eyes moved quickly back and forth as she read. He had always found it kind of sexy the way she just zoned out and focused on whatever she was doing. Whether it be homework, cooking or a little alone time with him, Addy did everything to the best of her ability. He especially loved when it was him she was focusing on.   
“Well…what’s it say,” said Jerome again his anxiety coming back. He was scared of what she might be reading, of the side effects that might come as the price for him to be well again. And that’s all he wanted, for it all to go back to the way it was before he killed his mom, before Arkham, before Galavan. Jerome wanted it all to be what he knew to be normal again.   
“Hold on. There is a lot here, J. As soon as I find what we’re looking for I’ll tell you,” whispered Addison still focused on her task.   
“Don’t read it all, Addy. Skip to the part we need,” exclaimed Jerome nearly screaming at her in his impatience.   
“Hay, don’t raise your voice to me, I’m reading as fast as I can. Calm down and have a little patience,” snapped Addison her own eyes flashing with her anger. She had never let Jerome speak to her like that, she had never let him raise his voice to her, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to start now. Jerome felt her move away from him then as she scrolled down her eyes still moving as she continued to read. He knew he had made her mad and that he owed her an apology, but in that moment all he could think about was those meds. He was so afraid about what they were going to do to him. When he could think straight again he would make it up to her.   
Jerome followed Addison’s gaze then watching the screen move forward. He still watched it though seeming almost transfixed with it before suddenly it came to a full stop. Looking at Addy then he saw her eyes moving fast as she read.   
“Here it is, side effects of Fluoxetine,” said Addison looking quickly back at him and away again. Jerome came to sit closer to her again his arms tight around her once more as his head came to lie right next to hers so they were almost cheek to cheek. Even when she was mad at him Addison couldn’t help it when she leaned closer to him so that their skin touched.   
“What does it say?” whispered Jerome his hand coming to rest on her stomach. It was then that Addison felt just how nervous he was as his fingers began to tap furiously at her stomach tickling her just a little bit. Trying hard not to laugh she placed her hand over his.   
“There’s side effects, J, but most of them it says are rare, so they most likely won’t happen,” whispered Addison reading over the long list as she spoke. As she read Addison herself started to get nervous. There were so many side effects, more than she had thought there would be, and watching Jerome out of the corner of her eye she began to worry.   
It might stop him from taking the meds altogether.   
“Addy, hurry up. Tell me what it says,” urged Jerome his voice frantic.   
“I told you, J. They’re rare, so chances are you have nothing to worry about,” said Addison hoping he would believe her and leave it be. But she didn’t have much hope in that idea because she knew Jerome. When he needed answers he would get them at any cost. So, when he didn’t waver, and only gave her an intense look she sighed looking from him to the list on the screen.   
“Read the list, Addy,” said Jerome refusing to look at her until she sat the computer aside taking his face in her hands to make him look at her. Jerome looked into her eyes then, he saw in them the deep longing for him to just leave it be, but he couldn’t. He needed to know what might happen to him if he took this drug. He needed to know if it would really make him better or if it was all just a lie. If it was all just a part of a dream, a dream where he would get better when in all reality Jerome was afraid he wouldn’t. That he would be this way forever.   
“Jerome, listen to me. Listen to me, please, just stop this. These meds are going to help you if you let them. Stop trying to find reasons to back out of taking them because I know that’s what you’re doing. Everything is going to be fine, I know that. Deep down in my heart I know that. I’ll read the list if you still want me to, but I want you to promise me you’ll still take the meds if I do. Promise me, Jerome, I need you to promise me,” whispered Addison tears gathering in her eyes. Jerome knew she was right, he was just looking for excuses to not take the meds, but it wasn’t just that. He was truly scared about what they would do to him. That was why he couldn’t make her that promise, not until she had read the list, and he knew for sure.   
“Read the list, Addy,” whispered Jerome.   
“Not until you promise me this,” said Addison leaning in close to him until their foreheads touched. Jerome stared into her eyes for a long time then before bringing his hands to cover hers.   
“I can’t, Addy. What if the side effects are something really bad?” breathed Jerome truly scared in that moment.   
“I told you the things on the list are rare. We can come back to this if we need to. Nothing is going to happen to you, baby. You’re going to be ok,” whispered Addison.   
“I don’t want to come back to it if we need to, Addison. I want to know now. I need to know. I mean think about it, I’m pretty rare as it is, with my luck some of the rare things on that list could happen to me,” exclaimed Jerome watching as she looked away from him then finally getting what he was trying to say. Addison suddenly understood and feeling as the tears moved down her cheeks she looked at him. He needed to know because if he didn’t it would haunt him until he did; it would become another one of his nightmares. She didn’t want that; she didn’t want him to be in any more pain then he already was.   
“I’m sorry I didn’t think of that. I just don’t want you to back out of taking the pills, they can help you, baby. I know they can, but if it will help you I’ll read the list. I hope when I do though that it will really help you because that’s all I want, Jerome. I want you to be ok again,” said Addison leaning into his touch when he moved to wipe away her tears before pulling her lips to his. After a moment of silence Jerome ended the kiss before pulling her closer to kiss her again nodding into it as she finally smiled into it.   
“Thank you, baby girl…I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier too. I just…I’m scared about what’s going to happen when I start taking these drugs. Do you forgive me?” breathed Jerome tenderly stroking her cheek. Addison took the hand he used in her own bringing it closer as she smiled at him using his shirt to pull him closer. Gently she kissed his nose then his lips before pulling away again.  
“Don’t I always forgive you? I love you, Jerome, that’s why I need you to make me that promise,” whispered Addison turning her face to kiss his palm.   
“I love you too, baby girl, so I promise to take the meds no matter what is on that list,” whispered Jerome silently loving when she smiled at him. Returning her smile, Jerome felt as she wrapped her arms around him leaning up to kiss his lips heatedly. He fell into the kiss immediately his hands falling into the long tresses of her hair so he had complete control of the kiss. With a growl he deepened the kiss making her moan as he stroked his tongue over hers only letting her draw away to breath.   
“Thank you,” said Addison kissing him heatedly for a second more before setting the computer back onto her lap. Leaning back into his chest, Addison smiled as she felt his head on her shoulder again as she focused on her task once more. Jerome smiled too in that moment, he loved having her cradled in his arms, and just having her there made him a little less scared of what might be on that list. So, when she started to read it they were both at peace.   
“ Some of the side effects are hives, heavy itching, an inability to sit still, restlessness, chills, joint pain, lack of appetite, strange dreams in some cases, changes in taste, vision problems, skin redness, frequent urination, loss of hair, loss of weight, and drowsiness. Again all of these are rare, so chances are you don’t have to worry,” whispered Addison closing the computer and setting it aside before looking at him to gauge his reaction.   
Addison watched him at first; he didn’t say a word as he continued to hold her close staring not at her, but into the blank space before him. She wanted desperately to know what he was thinking, but she knew right now she didn’t need her to push him. He needed to decide how he felt about it all and for now she would give him that. Only when she was sure he was ready would she bring him back from wherever he was now? Leaving his embrace then she took Charlie back her computer. She didn’t know it, but Jerome noticed her absence immediately; he just didn’t let it show. He kept running the list of side effects through his head. They weren’t anything he wanted, but they weren’t as bad as he had imagined they would be. For that he was grateful. When she returned he was still sitting there, so straddling him she smiled devilishly as she kissed him.   
“Addy,” breathed Jerome instantly surprised by her actions, but reveling in them as he always did.   
“Come back to me now, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking,” whispered Addison letting him pull her back into the kiss finding him as passionate as he had ever been when he kissed her.   
“I’m back again, baby girl,” sighed Jerome smiling as she deepened the kiss her fingers in his hair; she knew what he was referring to. Her kisses always brought him back to her when he zoned out.   
“I hate it when you zone out on me,” whispered Addison as she pulled away toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.   
“It’s worth it if you kiss me like that every time,” whispered Jerome lying down on the bed quickly pulling her down to cover him. For a while then they stared into each other’s eyes before she cupped his cheek in her hand.   
“You ok?” whispered Addison her eyes conveying the depth of her concern.   
“Yeah, it’s good to know what might happen now. Makes me a little less scared,” said Jerome wrapping an arm tight around her.   
“Don’t be scared, carrot cake. I told you I will be here, right here, by your side until it’s over. I love you, Jerome, I’d go through hell for you, I’ll always be by your side to deal with whatever we have to,” exclaimed Addison her eyes filled with love and conviction. The look in her eyes filled him with her love in that moment and as they held each other close they knew her words were true. Not just for her, but for him too. For Addison knew that come what may, Jerome would stand by her as she did him no matter what should happen. Jerome finally nodded as he held her in his arms for a while more before she had to get up to do homework.   
“Are you going to distract me like you usually do?” smiled Addison as they left his room.   
“Of course, no one else does it properly,” whispered Jerome his hands on her hips pulling her into his lap like days before as she started her homework the smile never leaving her face. But all too soon like the previous day the time came for her to go home. As usual when that time came Jerome hated it because he hated saying goodbye to her.   
“Don’t look so sad, baby. Tomorrow’s Friday, so you’ll have me the whole weekend. I’m really looking forward to giving you your birthday present,” whispered Addison moving in close to kiss his lips still sitting on his lap. They sat in a lawn chair outside the trailer waiting for Archer and holding her close Jerome just kept kissing her. He never wanted to stop; he wanted to kiss her until it was Friday then she wouldn’t have to leave him.   
“I know I shouldn’t be sad, I just like when you’re with me. I’m really looking forward to it too, so don’t you dare be late,” smiled Jerome holding her in his arms his hands traveling south just as their lips connected again and Archer emerged from the trailer.   
When he had to watch them walk away to go home to their asshole of a dad Jerome hated it. He worried about Addy when she was at home, Nathan didn’t hit her that often, but when he did it could get pretty bad. She was his girl, it was his job to protect her which was only one of the reasons he couldn’t wait for the weekend. Then Addy would be safely in his arms where he could protect her. The rest of the day he couldn’t wait for Friday, but the time seemed to move like a snail on pause. Finally though the night came and Jerome found himself lying in bed with a sleeping Oliver waiting for sleep to find him too. The meds entered his mind again then; he hoped they could help him the way everyone seemed to think they would. He wanted them to, but he was filled with doubt. What if he wasn’t fixable? What if he was never getting better or things would never be normal again? Those questions plagued him as he fell asleep bringing nightmares to scar him behind his closed eyes. But finally he woke up a smile instantly finding his face when he realized it was Friday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a warning letting you know the next few chapter might have smut. So be prepared.


	26. A Day Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome has a little fun and some fluffy moments with his family.

“It’s finally Friday,” thought Jerome when he woke up that morning. He had been waiting for that particular day since the week had begun and now that it was here he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Oliver was sitting in the living room when he came out; he was in the middle of his home school work, so he barely noticed Jerome as he entered the room. Charlie was the same way as she got Chloe and Jackson started on their work, but Jerome didn’t mind. Though they weren’t paying him any mind at all that was exactly the way Jerome wanted it. When it was like this everything felt normal again. It felt like it was before when he wasn’t a killer, when he didn’t need to hide; when he was just Jerome Valeska, a regular kid, their brother, Addison’s boyfriend. It was in that moment that he realized more than ever before how he had missed it being this way. Everything was just the way he wanted and moving through the trailer Jerome smiled even more. Because for once since this had all happened he was happy, he was really truly happy, happy in a way he hadn’t been since going to Arkham Asylum. To Jerome, it felt amazing because he had never thought he would be this way ever again.   
“I’m taking a shower,” called Jerome as he entered the bathroom.   
“Don’t take all the hot water. I have to work late tonight,” said Charlie in return before he shut the door turning the water on almost instantly letting it warm up as he undressed.   
“Hot water,” breathed Jerome as he stepped under the spray. As bad as Arkham had been, it had made him appreciate the little things. Before he had taken little things like hot showers, walking outside and his family for granted. Now that he was back after having been in that hell hole, Jerome would never do that again. He loved his family, he loved Addison, and he loved walking in the sun and a good hot shower. He probably would for the rest of his life since returning. Now he appreciated the warmth of a hot shower instead of a cold one, he appreciated the soft yet loud noise of Chloe and Jackson when they woke up in the morning. He even appreciated the fruity smell that clung to Addison’s skin and the decision to wake up and go to bed when he wanted. As Jerome washed his body from head to toe, as he brushed his teeth, he appreciated being home again instead of in Arkham. He knew that it was where he belonged; he knew he never wanted to leave it again, especially if it meant he was going back to that place. He never wanted to go back there; he wanted Arkham to be a bad memory that he could leave in the past.   
Jerome entered his room afterward his lower half wrapped in a fluffy white towel. Quickly he picked out what he wanted to wear that day. He chose a dark nearly black pair of jeans, a simple white T-shirt, and underwear with some socks. It wasn’t much, but for Jerome it was what could be considered nice. Jerome knew he probably wouldn’t be leaving the trailer, but he didn’t care. He had been looking forward to today, to spending the weekend with his girlfriend, and maybe being alone with her for a while. But though he knew Addy wouldn’t care, that she loved him no matter what, Jerome liked looking nice for her just as he knew she liked looking nice for him though he too didn’t care. They loved each other no matter what, but still Jerome wanted her to be proud to be with him. But that thought was put out of his mind when Oliver entered the room.  
“Do you wanna go hang out in the grasses? We haven’t been there since you been back, it would be fun,” whispered Oliver leaning against the door frame. Jerome could tell just by the tone of his voice that he wanted to go and looking at him as he leaned haphazardly against the door frame he really didn’t know what to say.   
“I don’t know, man. I’m not supposed to go walking about. If anyone saw me I could get sent back and you guys would probably get in trouble for hiding me,” whispered Jerome deep down wanting to go, but wanting neither of those things to happen.   
“No one will see you; we’re the only ones who know where it is. Besides, remember how much fun we used to have,” said Oliver making Jerome remember happier times in that moment. He remembered happy times before he had gone away, when Oliver, Jonathon, Addy, and him had spent their days there. They had always spent those days laughing, smiling; he had even taken Addy there on one of their few real dates. It was a place that had always made him happy which is why despite the things that could happen he still really wanted to go. No one else knew where it was; it was very much their secret place. Not even Charlie knew where it was. It was that thought that made Jerome give in.   
At first he was still worried about being seen, but if no one else knew where they were going how could they be seen?   
“Alright, man, let’s go,” smiled Jerome tying his shoes on the bed before moving past him out of the room.   
“Alright, J, I’ll text Addison too that way she can meet us there after school. This is going to be so much fun,” exclaimed Oliver flipping his phone open to begin texting Addy. Once Addy had texted back letting them know she would meet them later they headed towards the door. Jerome was still a bit nervous about going so far from the trailer, but he pushed his nerves aside. He wouldn’t be seen, he would be extra careful everything would be fine, and he wouldn’t be seen. He told himself that over and over, but it still stayed in the back of his mind. It was always there to remind him that nothing would ever truly be the same again. They had just opened the door to leave when Charlie appeared out of nowhere. Only Jerome noticed the look on her face when she saw them, he didn’t know what it was exactly, but part of him thought she looked scared. But as she grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving he pushed all that aside giving her all his attention as he turned in her direction.   
“Where are you going? I have to start getting ready for work in a couple hours…someone has to watch the kids,” said Charlie her voice cracking just a little. Despite what she said, Jerome didn’t believe what she was saying. Yes, she did have to go to work later, but that wasn’t why she didn’t want them to leave. He could see it in her eyes, there was something else going on, but he didn’t know what.   
“We’ll be back before you leave for work, we promise Charlie. We’re just gonna go hang out awhile, Addison’s meeting us after school, and if you need us sooner you can call me. I got my phone. Please let us go, ok Charlie, we’ll be real careful, and we won’t be seen by anybody,” exclaimed Oliver crossing his fingers behind his back that she would let them. She wouldn’t take her eyes off of Jerome in that moment, but she also didn’t look mad. Jerome knew when Charlie was mad and this was not one of those times. But when he looked into her eyes Jerome saw that he was right; she was scared. Jerome knew by the look in her eyes that she was scared, scared he would get caught, scared he would be sent back to Arkham, and scared they would lose him again.   
The second Jerome saw how scared she was he smiled before he grabbed Charlie’s hand pulling her aside.   
“Come on, I want to talk to you, big sis,” whispered Jerome making her follow him into her room.   
“Jerome, I don’t—,” began Charlie before Jerome made her speechless when he pulled her into a hug something he hadn’t done since he was the kids age. The hug was tight, the choking kind of tight, but in that moment neither of them cared. Charlie didn’t say another word and neither did he. They just stood there a long time neither of them ending the hug.   
“Charlie, I love you, I hope you know that,” exclaimed Jerome kissing her cheek as they pulled apart. Looking into her eyes then Jerome saw she was crying and he didn’t know if it was because of what he had said or because she was still scared. But when they left that room he didn’t want her to be scared anymore.   
“I know and I love you that’s why I think you should stay here. You can’t be seen by anyone, J. They’ll send you back to Arkham and I don’t want you to go back to that place,” cried Charlie wiping at her eyes as she spoke. Jerome took her hand again as he hugged her again. He loved his big sister, he hated when she cried, he wanted her to be happy. But most of all he didn’t want her to be worrying about her for the rest of his life.   
“I’ll be fine. We’ll be careful and if anything does happen we’ll come straight home, I promise,” whispered Jerome looking her straight in the eye. He could see she was still reluctant to let him go, but as she looked into his eyes he knew she understood what he was trying to say. She couldn’t take care of him forever, if something happened it wasn’t her fault. After everything he had done she had to realize that even though he knew she didn’t want to. When she nodded her head silently telling him to go Jerome smiled kissing her cheek again. He really loved his big sis and no matter what happened to him that’s who she would be.   
“Thank you,” said Jerome pulling her into another hug.   
“You’re welcome, just please don’t get caught. I don’t want to lose you, Jerome. You may be all grown up, but you’re my little brother. I love you,” whispered Charlie her tears falling again as she held him so tight.   
“I know I’ll always be your little brother just like you’ll always be my big sister. I love you and I promise to be careful. I don’t want to lose you again either,” exclaimed Jerome kissing the side of her head. Again, they hugged for an extra-long time neither of them wanting to let go. To them, it seemed like so long ago that it had been just the two of them, she had always taken care of him, they had taken care of each other, and as their eyes met they both knew they always would. When they left her room they were still holding hands. They had always been close, but somehow now they were even closer than before. He didn’t know what he would have done without her. Without her, he never would have survived having Lila for a mother, Charlie, in a way, had been his only true mother. She had raised all of them, feeding them, clothing them, protecting them from their real mother when the situation called for it. Charlie was unlike most girls of her age, she could have walked away when she turned eighteen, but she hadn’t. He would always be grateful for that in fact that was one of the reasons he loved her. It always would be.   
“I love you,” whispered Jerome giving her hand a final squeeze before slipping out the door.   
“Hold on a minute,” said Charlie seconds later.   
“Jerome,” sighed Charlie as she came up to him a hat and sunglasses in her hands. Jerome knew without having to ask what she was doing. But when she put the glasses on him and the hat on his head he found all he could do was let her with a smile.   
“Don’t take these off until you get to where you’re going. That way if someone does see you they might not recognize you. It would put my mind at ease,” said Charlie kissing his cheek before letting him continue on their way. But as they walked away Jerome could feel his sister’s eyes on him. To him, it was like she was protecting him, putting a shield around him, and looking back at her Jerome waved at her before watching her go back inside. As the two brothers walked to their hide away just for a second again it was like the last year hadn’t happened.   
“I’m free again,” thought Jerome taking in everything around him with all his senses.   
To Jerome, it felt good to be free again. To be able to walk in the sun and spend time with his brother despite the looming threat of someone seeing him. This feeling only got better when they got to their intended destination. The tall grasses, their secret hideaway, was just as he remembered it. It was a place they had found years ago by accident. It was small, surrounded by grass that at the time had been nearly as tall as him, but now it was just to his elbow. In the very center was a giant tree perfect for climbing, memories sprung forth at the sight of that tree. Despite the simple nature of this place, it was a place Jerome loved, a place he had thought of back in Arkham when all he could do was think. It was a place he would always love because everywhere he looked was a memory, a bunch of happy, happy memories. Just standing there among the grass Jerome had one thought. He was home again, for this place was like home. His home away from home.   
“Jerome, you ok?” whispered Oliver bringing him out of his head. Jerome looked at his brother in that moment before nodding.   
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just good to get out of the trailer,” smiled Jerome suddenly plopping down to sit in the grass.   
“Yeah, I thought you could use some fresh air,” whispered Oliver sitting by his side both their eyes looking up at the sky.   
“This place hasn’t changed. I missed it,” said Jerome putting his hands behind his head as he lay down on the ground. He breathed in the fresh air, it felt good to feel the sun on his skin again, it was a big difference from the cold shelter of Arkham. It was one of the many things he had missed while he was away.   
“Yeah, I’ve missed it too,” whispered Oliver refusing to look at him in that moment as he pulled the grass out of the ground. Jerome looked at him in that moment not understanding his meaning. He hadn’t been locked up, why couldn’t he come here while he had been gone? The question nagged at him even when he tried to push it away until sitting up he looked closely at Oliver deciding he needed an answer. Jerome looked at him again finding that he still wouldn’t look at him. He was too busy pulling chunks of grass out of the ground and upon closer inspection Jerome saw Oliver was shaking, but not in anger.   
Oliver was holding back tears, like Jerome he didn’t like crying; his mother had always said it was a sigh of weakness. He knew Jerome thought the same thing, so Oliver always tried not to cry in front of him.   
“Oliver…are you ok?” said Jerome staring his brother down. He was determined to find out what was bothering him after all he was his little brother. It was his job to protect him just like Charlie had always done for him.  
“Yeah…I just…I missed this place,” whispered Oliver.   
“Really? Why haven’t you been by here then?” questioned Jerome crossing his arms over his chest letting him know he meant business. He was not going to hide anything from him; if something was bothering him then he could tell him about it, no matter what it was.   
Oliver didn’t answer right away; he only sat there staring at the ground as if it would provide the answer.   
“Oliver?” said Jerome as his brother finally looked at him letting him see the tears in his eyes.   
“Talk to me, man. What’s wrong?” whispered Jerome pulling his little brother in for a hug. He hated it when anyone he loved cried and as Oliver continued to cry on his shoulder he hated it still. But despite that Jerome wanted to know why he was crying, he wanted to know what was wrong, so he could fix it.   
“I couldn’t come here while you were gone, J. I missed you too much. I thought I was never gonna see you again and this place reminded me of you. Addy couldn’t come here either, we just couldn’t, we missed you too much,” whispered Oliver finally pulling away wiping tears away with dirt covered fingers. Nothing was said in that moment as Jerome tried his hardest not to cry himself. It was good to know they had missed him as much as he had missed them. It was that thought that made him smile a watery smile pulling him in for another hug.  
“I missed you too, Oliver. You have no idea how much I really missed you. You’re not just my brother, you know, you’re my best friend, I love you. I was so worried about what you’d think of me when I was in Arkham, so afraid you’d hate me. You have no idea how good it is to know you all don’t hate me, that you all missed me too,” exclaimed Jerome beginning to cry too. Slowly the brothers pulled away in that moment, but the smiles never left their faces. But then with a laugh Oliver punched him playfully on the arm making Jerome laugh with him.   
“Of course we missed you, J. We love you. That’s why we’re all so sorry too. Sorry for everything,” whispered Oliver watching as Jerome looked confused once more.   
“What do you mean?” whispered Jerome their laughter stopping.   
“Yeah, we shouldn’t have let you go back to mom on your own. Hell, we shouldn’t have let you go at all. One of us should have gone with you, maybe then things could have gone different,” exclaimed Oliver refusing to look at him again. It was clear in that moment that he felt guilty for everything that had happened and that was the last thing Jerome wanted. They could have done nothing, it was all him. He killed their mom and he was glad they weren’t there. He could take the abuse. He was stronger. Jerome went back because of that and that alone. Even if they tried to go with him he wouldn’t have let them. Jerome quickly placed a hand on his shoulder making him give him all his attention.   
“There’s nothing you could have done, Oliver. You shouldn’t feel guilty because we both know how mom was, I wouldn’t have wanted you with me, she would have hurt you. It’s my job to protect you, all of you, so please don’t feel guilty that you weren’t there. I wouldn’t have let you go even if you had tried,” exclaimed Jerome making sure Oliver paid attention to everything he had to say. They both knew what their mother was like, they both knew how it would have been if any of them had come with him. Oliver nodded though they both knew nothing would stop all of them from wondering what if.   
“So, I’ve had enough sad for one day, let’s stop being all mopey. Let’s have some fun,” whispered Jerome smiling at his brother. Both of them rose from the ground then a smile returning to Oliver’s face as well. They didn’t want to be sad anymore, they both wanted to be happy.   
“What’re we doing?” exclaimed Oliver his eyes never leaving his brother.   
“We’re gonna race to the top of the tree…unless you’re too chicken,” challenged Jerome making taunting chicken noises.   
“You’re on,” grinned Oliver. They both peeled out of the grass then running towards the giant tree.   
“Looks like I’m gonna beat you again,” called Jerome looking behind him just before his fingers touched the tree. Oliver didn’t say anything only smiling as they both started to climb.   
That was how the day was spent, the boys hung in the limbs of their favorite tree; it felt just like old times. That feeling only increased when they saw a familiar figure walking in the distance. It was Addison, school was over, and just like she said she would she was there to meet them. Jerome couldn’t have been happier to see her. This was clear just by the smile that appeared on his face.  
“There’s Addy,” whispered Oliver smiling just at the sight of the smile on his brother’s face.   
“It’s about time,” whispered Jerome stopping Oliver just before he called out to her. He didn’t want her seeing them just yet. He had an idea, an idea that only made his smile grow. Oliver knew what he was going to do immediately.   
“Have fun,” whispered Oliver receiving a wink from his brother as he watched him climb down the tree where she couldn’t see him. Many times since before they had become more then friends, Jerome had hidden in that very tree, and when Addy suspected nothing he would pounce on her. And that exactly what he planned to do now; just for old times’ sake.   
Though she pretended to hate it, Jerome knew that she loved when he did it, and now that they were so much more than friends he knew it would be more fun. He loved giving her a good surprise no matter what that surprise was. Finally Addison was right where he wanted her beneath the tree, so grinning wide Jerome fell from the tree appearing behind his favorite girl without a sound.


	27. Moments, thoughts, and the memories that fuel them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some of that smut I promised. Sorry I'm a chapter late.

Jerome fell from the tree without a sound behind Addison his grin a mile wide as he loomed over her.  
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to walk in the middle of nowhere by yourself? Someone could steal you away,” breathed Jerome before his hands were on her spinning her to pin her against the tree one hands grabbing both of hers to pin them above her head as he lifted her so her legs were around his waist so she couldn’t escape him. Looking at Addison, Jerome found her mouth hanging open for a scream that never came, her eyes blown wide, but slowly he watched as that changed as she smiled upon realizing it was him.  
“You scared me,” sighed Addison her breath washing over him. Her small attempt at struggling ended then as she leaned back against the tree her body calm in his grasp. Part of her had known it was Jerome, but the part that hadn’t had been scared nonetheless. It had been so long since he had surprised her like that that unlike all the times before she hadn’t been expecting it.   
“I’m serious though, Addy. You shouldn’t wonder around by yourself, what if it wasn’t me?” breathed Jerome releasing her hands as he moved away just a tiny bit. He couldn’t take his eyes off her then as she stayed leaned up against the tree, but then suddenly she was there. Addison wrapped her arms around him her eyes sincere as she peered up into his.   
“I’ll be more careful, I promise. I guess I just feel safe here and to tell you the truth, Carrot Cake, I wasn’t worried because part of me knew it was you. I’m always safe when I’m with you. You’d never let anyone hurt me,” exclaimed Addison using his T-shirt to bring him to her for a kiss. What she said filled Jerome with pride. He wanted her to feel that way, he wanted her to know she was safe with him, and never be afraid with him. He wanted her to feel nothing, but love with him. This moment proved to him that that was what she felt and it made him pull her all the closer as they kissed. Kissing her with a heated passion, Jerome was reminded of lonely nights without her, of times when she was all her could think of. It all made him back her up pushing her into the bark of the tree. Picking her up again he felt her legs wrap around his waist once more as he kissed her deeper her hands egging him on as much as his memories. Their lips moved together continually her fingers messing up his hair a calm washing over them both. That calm lasted what felt like forever until suddenly a voice broke through to disrupt it.   
“I’m still up here,” said Oliver making their lips part on a pant of air.   
“ Hay, Ollie,” smiled Addison feeling as Jerome leaned close to her as if for warmth as she looked up into the tree searching for the face that went with the voice. After a moment she spotted him sitting or dangling amongst the wood. In that moment everything felt back to the way it was over a year ago when everything was good. And looking at Jerome she could see in his eyes that he felt just the same. Sighing in his arms Addison smiled as she leaned as close to him as she could get. Today was finally their day, the day they had been waiting for; the weekend they had been waiting for. When he smiled in the same moment she did Addison knew he was just as ecstatic about that as she was, maybe even more so.   
“It’s Friday,” smiled Addison holding his face in her hands.   
“It’s about damn time, I’ve been waiting long enough,” whispered Jerome giving her a simple peck on the lips before setting her back on her feet. Addison moved forward quickly then wrapping her arms around his middle her eyes looking up at him as her head lay on his chest.   
Jerome didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her holding her extra close. In that moment he couldn’t help, but think that being with her would never get old. She was the one he wanted, now, in the future, forever.   
“Oliver, come down from there,” called Jerome smiling as Addy kissed the wound at his neck. Her head fell to his shoulder then as they both stared into the branches looking for his brother. They received no response as they searched for him with their eyes. But when they finally found him they found he was not climbing down. Instead he was continuing to climb up.   
“Why should I come down, so I can be a third wheel?” said Oliver finally as they gained sight of him sitting on a tree limb before continuing to climb.   
“No, you wouldn’t. Come down, Ollie,” exclaimed Addison peering up into the tree. But Oliver didn’t hear a word he continued to climb ignoring their calls to come down. He knew they were just being nice, he understood they needed time alone. He knew everything would go back to normal; he just had to bide his time until then.   
“It’s okay, just go. I want to stay here, maybe I’ll finally climb to the top,” said Oliver not looking down at them anymore. His voice sounded farther away now, but standing there still they didn’t leave. They wouldn’t leave, not until they were sure he was really okay with it.   
“You sure?” called Jerome.   
“Go,” said Oliver.   
“Alright, but you holler if you need us. Addy and I won’t be too far away,” said Jerome before his eyes were trained on Addy seconds before he picked her up in his arms. As he walked off carrying her into the distance Addison laughed a smile on her face as she struggled. He knew it was just an act as he continued to carry her off her struggling ending almost immediately as she settled back in his arms.   
“Where are we going?” whispered Addison as their eyes met her smile wide. But Jerome remained silent, deciding to let her figure it out for herself; he knew she would.   
“I love you, Jerome. I want you to know that,” said Addison suddenly after a long silence surprising him nearly as much as he had surprised her. He felt as she placed small butterfly kisses against his jaw then before slanting her lips over his kissing him tenderly before pulling away again. Just the look in her eyes told him she meant, but he already knew that anyway. He knew she always meant it when she said it.   
“You haven’t let me forget it since I’ve been back. Hel, Addy I’ve always known it,” whispered Jerome kissing her lips sweetly. Addison let him carry her farther and farther into the distance with no idea to where he was taking her. It wasn’t until he laid her down in a grassy area where the tree was nothing, but a speck did Addison look at him knowing exactly where he had brought her. Jerome was by her side almost immediately pulling her as close as she could be. They laid on their backs her head on his chest with his arm around her tight and secure. Everything felt perfect, perfect and so nice.   
“You know I love you too, right Addy?” said Jerome his voice so low she almost didn’t hear him. But looking at him Addison smiled as she placed a hand on his cheek.   
“I know, baby. I know you love me as much as I love you,” smiled Addison her lips capturing his quickly. The kiss began slow and passionate as his fingers moved over the clothed skin of her back as he laid her flat against the hot ground. Her fingers dug into his hair as her legs parted to let him in-between, their bodies so tight against each other it was nearly hard to breathe.   
“Do you remember how many times we’ve been here, in our spot?” gasped Jerome his eyes heavy as he looked at her.   
“Yes, I’ll never forget. We’ve shared so many kisses, so many happy moments. We even had a date here once. Those memories are why when you were gone I could come here. It made me miss you too much,” exclaimed Addison her legs wrapping tight around him as her arms did the same. Jerome felt as she pulled him closer on instinct as if vowing to never let him go and stroking her cheek Jerome wouldn’t let her look away. He remembered everything Oliver said in that moment and kissing her forehead he could feel her guilt still weighing heavy on her heart as it was everybody else’s.   
“I couldn’t have come here if you had been away either,” breathed Jerome still not letting her look away as he continued. He was going to tell her the same thing he told Oliver; he didn’t want anyone feeling guilty for the way things had turned out.   
“Oliver told me how everyone feels guilty about what happened. About not going with me to be with my mother and I don’t want that Addy. I wouldn’t have wanted you there, Addy. You needed to stay here where you were safe. I want you to understand that, Addy, that I don’t want you feeling guilty about anything. You have nothing to feel guilty for,” whispered Jerome holding both her hands in his. Addison knew by the look in her eyes that he was serious and she understood everything he was saying. But though she would let her guilt slip away she was determined it would never happen again. Jerome would never be alone to deal with such a thing again.   
“Yeah, I understand, but only if you understand that from now on I will be there. I would go through hell with you, J, because I love you. I’m never going to let you go off like that ever again, not without me by your side,” said Addison the look in her eyes telling him that she was sincere. Jerome kissed her fervently in response his tongue running over her bottom lip for entrance to her mouth and once inside he moved over her until he needed breathe. When the kiss ended Jerome didn’t say anything at first everything was completely silent. He just kept staring at her with a look of amazement that in that moment she didn’t completely understand.   
“We’ll deal with whatever may happen, baby, together,” smiled Addison her arms wrapping around him to hold him close. After a moment Jerome nodded in agreement as he laid his head against hers peering into her eyes. In that moment though he didn’t know how it was possible he loved her even more. Jerome held her tight then as he smiled kissing the top of her head a memory running through his mind. He remembered the date they had in that very shot nearly two years ago.   
“ This is nice,” he remembered Addison saying her eyes trained on the ground as they walked hand in hand through the diming daylight. He had nodded in response looking over at her. Back then their relationship had been so new he had been still so nervous. Only a few weeks had passed since their first kiss in his trailer and at that point Jerome was still nervous that being more then friends with her would ruin everything they already had. He hadn’t yet realized what a beautiful thing they had, what a beautiful thing they would continue to build.   
“Let’s sit here and watch the sun go down,” he had suggested giving her a smile that she returned before they sat in the long grass together their hands still keeping them together. It was in that grass, in their spot, that they had shared their second kiss, a kiss like they had never shared before that day. Addison’s reaction was the same as that first time in the trailer. She was surprised pulling back to look at him a moment before beginning the kiss all over again. The kiss was slow and sweet and he would never forget it.   
Addison kissed him back her lips firm and soft as her hands came to touch his cheek. It had stayed that way as the sun went down shrouding them in darkness. It had stayed that way as he brought a hand to her hip pulling her closer into his chest. It didn’t change until Jerome had decided to try something that gave her another little surprise. When he had ran his tongue over her bottom lip for the first time she had jumped causing him to try to pull away, but she had held him firmly in place.   
“Don’t stop,” Addison had whispered her eyes shining before she leaned in as he did the same to continue the kiss, but this time when he tried again she wasn’t surprised. This time Addison had opened her mouth for him letting him slip inside. The sensation was new to them both, but after a bit they both knew what to do as his hands gripping both her hips as her arms surrounded him. It was their first passionate kiss and as they would learn it would be the first of many.   
“Jerome,” Addison had said his name on a breath when that passionate kiss ended tiny smiles on both their faces as their eyes met. But then Jerome had been on her again making her back hit the ground her arms and legs clutching him as their second passionate kiss began. By the time that kiss ended Addison could feel hardness against her belly and a tingling in between her thighs, but that night they had done nothing more. They weren’t ready for more yet. But as their eyes landed on each other again there was something in their eyes, something neither of them could keep inside.   
“I love you,” Addy had whispered part of her afraid he wouldn’t say it back or even feel it in return.   
“Addy…do you mean that?” he had exclaimed before that moment having never heard it from someone who wasn’t his brother or sister his eyes blown wide. He watched as she nodded in answer her eyes downcast before he made her look at him as he held her face in his hands moving his face closer to hers. What she said had made everything real for him, it had made his nerves leave immediately, and he wasn’t afraid anymore. He knew what they had would last because what she said was the truth. What they had wasn’t just something that would fade, it was real. That knowledge made him kiss her with no restraint; he didn’t hold back, he just kissed her in that moment. When their lips parted Jerome hadn’t said anything. All he could do was stare fixedly at her before slowly a smile covered his face as he laid his head against hers.   
“I love you, Addy, I love you. I have for so long,” Jerome had whispered his arms holding her tight as she smiled hugging him. She had looked so relieved, for a moment then Addison had been afraid she had said at the wrong time. That he would leave her. But knowing that he loved her too lifted everything away. Her nerves, her fears, everything. In that moment all Addison could see was a future with him. After sharing a few more kisses, they had laid on the ground looking up at the sky just as they were now. As that memory faded from his mind Jerome found himself looking down at her a smile on his face. They stayed like that until Oliver’s voice broke their calm once more.   
Kissing her one last time in that spot, Jerome and Addison rose from the ground to move back where Oliver waited. They walked hand in hand completely happy. And when he pulled her close she smiled at him making him smile back as Oliver came into view. Soon he was by their side as they passed the tree and making their way home all was silent.   
“Charlie said she has to leave for work as soon as we get back,” whispered Oliver smiling as he watched them make doe eyes at each other.   
“Text her to tell her we’re on our way plus tell her Addy’s staying the night,” smiled Jerome his eyes never straying from his girl.   
“She already knows, I reminded her when I dropped my stuff off before heading to meet you,” said Addison smiling as Jerome slung an arm around her shoulders pulling her close to his side.   
All was silent the rest of the way home, but when the trailer came into view Oliver ran ahead of them while they walked. It was as Addy was about to go inside that Jerome pulled her tight against his chest not letting her go any further. Gently then he kissed her neck moving languidly towards her ear nipping at it.   
“Promise me you’re not leaving me all weekend,” breathed Jerome moving to do the same to her other ear. Addison grinned in response before turning to wrap her arms around him kissing his lips sweetly.   
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” breathed Addison taking his hand then to pull him inside.   
Charlie left the second all three of them were in the door and in that moment all calm seemed to disappear.   
“Jerome, Addison come play,” exclaimed Chloe immediately dragging them to join her tea party while Jackson disappeared to play video games with Oliver. This went on until dinner time then it was time to eat real food instead of Chloe’s imaginary cookies. As Jerome set plates on the table he couldn’t keep his eyes off Addison as she cooked. He could see this as their future someday in the distance. Jerome could see her cooking dinner every night; he could see them doing dishes together before going to bed together every night. He could even picture having kids of their own someday, he knew she’d make a great mom, and thinking on it now Jerome smiled. While he knew they weren’t ready for it now, someday, he knew he wanted that. Part of him was even looking forward to it while another was scared to death for it to really happen, but pushing that aside he continued to watch her. He would never get tired of watching her, his girl. It was all those thoughts that made him come up behind her as she was cooking kissing her soundly on the cheek.   
“I love you, Addy,” whispered Jerome making her smile as she set the hamburger helper on the table gathering everybody for dinner. Those words wouldn’t leave his mind all through dinner or the dishes or as he put the kids to sleep and Oliver was reading a comic book on his bed on the couch. It didn’t leave his mind until Jerome found himself lying in bed waiting for Addy to come to bed.   
“Sorry I took so long,” smiled Addison when she finally appeared closing the door behind her feeling his eyes on her instantly. The second Jerome saw her he couldn’t believe his eyes, she was so beautiful as she stood there, she was always beautiful, but in that moment even more so. In that moment all he wanted was to go to her take her into his arms to lay her on the bed and make love to her. He loved her, he wanted her, he needed her.   
Usually when Addison came to sleep with him she wore a tank top and shorts, but tonight she wasn’t wearing that. Far from it, Addison was wearing a nightgown, something he had never seen her wear before. She was wearing a very sexy night gown that was a nearly see through powder whitish blue. It left very little to his imagination, it clung to her perfect little body going barely to her thighs, and if the neckline was any more plunging it her breasts would have just fallen out. On anyone else he would have thought it scandalous, but on her Jerome found he couldn’t love it more.   
“God, Addy, you look…where did it come from?” growled Jerome his eyes running over her. Slowly she came towards him then as he made his way to his knees waiting for her to be close enough to touch. Addison had been nervous when she left the bathroom, afraid he would hate it, that he would think her like his mother, but seeing him now made that all go away. The look in his eyes made that all go away; the way he looked at her in that moment made her feel so beautiful it was almost overwhelming. Finally she was at the edge of the bed smiling a tiny smile as he came to grip her hips. He kneeled on the edge of the bed his eyes never leaving her so many things going through his mind before finally he looked into her eyes.   
“I wasn’t sure if you’d like it…I saved up to buy it so I could wear for you. I thought it would be a nice little surprise when you came home from your mother’s. What do you think?” said Addison her voice quivering with her nerves as she looked deep into his eyes waiting for his answer. Jerome didn’t say anything at first; he only continued to stare at her before bringing a hand to caress her cheek. She leaned in close wanting to feel his skin against hers and when she did he smiled before moving in to kiss her tenderly is lips leaving hers before it got too heated.   
His hand slowly left her face then moving down over her shoulders over her breasts down her sides to her ass using it to pull her closer.   
“You look amazing, baby girl. You are so beautiful, more beautiful than a guy like me deserves. I only wish I didn’t have to wait so long to see this because I love you in it. I really do,” whispered Jerome letting her feel the erection just the sight of her had caused. It all made her smile wide as she leaned in close to his chest and bringing her hands to his face now Addison kissed him not letting him stop it before it got heated this time.   
“Me too,” whispered Addison kissing his lips quickly her arms around his neck. The kisses continued big and small until they finally parted looking at each other with heat in their eyes before Addison broke eye contact to look at the clock. Jerome smiled her gaze seeing that the clock read twelve midnight before meeting her gaze he found her smiling. Leaning in close again, Addison kissed him for all she was worth, and as his arms wrapped around her so did hers.   
“It’s midnight, so technically it’s your birthday. Happy Birthday, Carrot Cake,” whispered Addison kissing him still as he laid her down on the bed his hands moving down her legs quickly spreading them so he was nestled in between.   
“Tell me what you want,” gasped Addison as their lips parted holding his face in her hands. She peered up into his eyes then waiting for an answer before watching as he smiled. Jerome already had everything he could want. But in that moment there was one thing he wanted.   
“You,” breathed Jerome kissing her palm. She smiled in response as she moved a stray lock of hair out of his face. What he said went straight to her heart. Pecking him sweetly on the lips, Addison wrapped her arms as tight around him as she could never want to be parted from him. No matter what happened she would never be parted from him. He was her soul mate; Jerome was her everything. She knew he knew that as she kissed him over and over again.   
“You have me, baby. You’ll always have me, for the rest of your life,” said Addison beginning to kiss him again before a tiny knock sounded at the door. Quickly they parted unwillingly both of them looking at the door.   
“Who is it?” called Addison looking from the door to Jerome.   
“Chloe is crying…she won’t tell me why. I think she had a nightmare,” whispered Oliver through the door. They looked at each other than both of them releasing a sigh. This wasn’t the first time this had happened and either of them thought it would be the last.   
“I got it,” said Jerome moving to rise from the bed before Addison placed a hand on his chest.   
“I got it, you stay here, and when I get back I’ll handle that,” whispered Addison looking at the erection straining his pajama pants before leaving the bed. Jerome waited in bed for her to return, but apparently Chloe didn’t want to go right back to sleep. But finally after about an hour and a half Addy returned looking worn as she removed his bathrobe. She stood there then looking as sexy as she had when she first entered the room and suddenly her tiredness faded as she smiled at him. She was still in the mood just like he was.   
“Come here,” growled Jerome taking her hand to pull her back into the bed letting her know immediately that he wanted her as he attacked her lips.   
“Damn baby girl, I can’t keep my hands off you. You’re so sexy and beautiful and wonderful…in every way,” growled Jerome his lips moving down towards her breasts. Addison smiled a small moan leaving her as he spoke her hands gripping his shoulders so she could lay him on his back. Once she had done that she wasted no time straddling him moaning as she felt the hardness still present another moan sounding as he marked her throat.   
“I love you, Jerome,” whispered Addison letting her hands settle on his chest.   
“I love you…I need you,” breathed Jerome his lips against her skin. His hands gripped her sides then tickling her ribs as he came to cup her breasts making her moan something that could have been his name. Burying his head fully in her chest then Jerome bit her before licking over it with his tongue wanting to leave another mark. When he was done she pulled his away to claim his lips. Addison slowly moved her hand to grip him through his pajamas making him groan loudly. She knew just what he wanted, just how he needed it as she stroked his prominent bulge, and kissing him still she pushed on his shoulders laying him back on the bed. It was as she was releasing a tiny moan that another knock sounded.   
“God damn it,” breathed Jerome burying his head in her chest again. He wrapped his arms around her then so she couldn’t leave him and sighing Addison looked at the door before looking right back at him.  
“I’m sorry, baby. It just isn’t going to happen tonight,” whispered Addison running her fingers through his hair.   
“What,” said Addison looking at the door again? She hoped to god it wasn’t the kids again. She didn’t think Jerome would let her leave him again in fact she was positive of that just by the way he was holding onto her now.   
“It’s me, Charlie. Just thought I’d let you know I’m home,” said Charlie on a yawn. For some reason when Jerome heard her voice he held Addison tighter. It made Addison look down at him with a smile.   
“Alright, we left some dinner for you in the microwave,” said Addison hoping nothing more would be said. She knew sex was out of the question now, but she still wanted to give Jerome something. It was his birthday and she really didn’t want to leave him wanting. After all she never had before.   
“Alright, thank you. Goodnight,” said Charlie before everything went silent. Both of them breathed a sigh then as they listened to the silence. Addison moved to lay her head on his chest when he finally let her go. They both knew nothing was going to happen, but looking at his still she ran a hand over his chest. First she moved up touching his cheek to make him look at her, but then she moved down again. Kissing his lips she let her hand find his penis, it was still hard as ever in his pants, and giving it squeeze she let her lips travel.   
“Addy…what are you doing? You don’t have to, we can wait until tomorrow. Hopefully no one will knock on the door,” growled Jerome stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.   
“I know I don’t have to and I’ll probably give it to you as much as you want tomorrow, but tonight is different. I have never left you wanting like this and I never will. I love you, Jerome. I happen to like doing this for you,” smiled Addison her face now level with his clothed hardness as she peered up at him. Slowly she pulled his pajama bottoms down letting him pop out to greet her. The groan he released in response was so loud she gave him a warning look remembering all the times he gave her the same look as she stroked him at a steady pace.   
“Baby girl,” growled Jerome moving his hand to stroke her head. Slowly Addison moved her lips over him kissing along his shaft before reaching his balls sucking them into her mouth for a second before going back the other way.  
“I better be the only girl who ever makes you like this,” whispered Addison giving him a smile as she moved her hand over him faster.   
“Only you, baby girl. No other girl does it for me,” groaned Jerome feeling as she palmed his head the way he liked.   
“Addy,” gasped Jerome loving the way she knew just how to touch him to get him all worked up.   
“Don’t worry, baby…I’m gonna make you feel so good,” breathed Addison seconds before her mouth covered him taking all of him in a short amount of time. She moved over him then her tongue swirling around his head before she bobbed her head up then down. Addison let her fingers play with his balls as she moved over his shaft feeling as he grew bigger his hips bucking as he fucked her mouth one of his hands at the back of her head. And then suddenly Jerome found his eyes rolling back into his head when she took him all the way down her throat making him fist his hand in her hair now. Groaning he felt as she moved over him again before going back again bringing him to the edge so easily.   
“Goddamn, baby girl…just like that,” gasped Jerome using her hair to control her movements feeling as she moaned in response sucking on him harder. That was all it took for him to finally come filling her mouth quickly nearly gagging her as she took just his head in her mouth in that moment. When it was over she pulled away smiling up at him as she crawled back to his side. He quickly pulled her lips to his wrapping her in his arms. Parting she laid her head on his shoulder snuggling close to him both of them smiling. They fell asleep just like that.


	28. In the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addison gives Jerome his first birthday gift while everyone is sleeping. At least she tries, but things don't go as planned.

The next morning a light stream of sunlight entered the room in which Addison and Jerome slept. But that wasn’t what woke Addison up. As the clock read eight thirty her eyes opened on their own finding the room to still be dark despite the light.   
“Baby?” murmured Addison as she fully awoke her sleep filled eyes finding Jerome as he lay beneath her still asleep. When they had fallen asleep she had been on his chest her face hidden in the space between his neck and shoulder. They had been cozy lying like that together, it had felt perfect, like that was how it was supposed to be, and as she watched him sleep Addison knew it was. Now, she was slightly on top of him one arm flung around his torso along with one of her legs which was wrapped securely around his waist. Jerome had one hand gripping that leg as his other arm held her tight around her shoulders.   
It was like he was determined to keep her right there until he woke up again. Addison watched him for a moment, it was like she was drinking him in; he didn’t know it, but she had done this a lot since his return. After so many mornings, days, and nights without him she couldn’t help it. But when she finally drew her eyes away she hid her face in his neck part of her thinking about going back to sleep.   
“Happy Birthday,” breathed Addison kissing his throat sighing with the thought that she couldn’t go back to sleep because today was his birthday and she would see to it everything was perfect. She looked at him again in that moment contemplating whether or not to wake him. It was his birthday, so it would be right to let him sleep in, but a more mischievous part of her wanted to wake him up. And she knew just how to do so, so he wouldn’t be mad, not one bit. Making up her mind, Addison grinned as she moved her lips over his throat attacking it with open mouthed kisses. Watching him out of the corner of her eye she was surprised this alone didn’t wake him. Continuing, Addison gently nipped his throat beginning to leave a mark the whole world would see, but looking at him again she frowned. He was still fast asleep.   
“Happy Birthday, baby,” whispered Addison before slowly disentangling herself deciding since he didn’t want to wake up that she would let him sleep until he did. She decided she would do something else for him this morning to make his birthday have a wonderful beginning. Watching him as she attempted to slip from the bed Addison let a plan to make him breakfast in bed form in her mind, she thought she had succeeded, but she was wrong. The second she left his arms Jerome’s eyes opened. When he saw Addy leaving Jerome groaned as he rolled over in bed wrapping his arms around her waist in the same moment.   
“Mmmm…no…you said you wouldn’t leave me,” groaned Jerome burying his head in the crook of her throat pulling her body back against his chest. He felt as her hands moved up his forearms as he peppered her neck in soft kisses.   
“Where were you going? You were coming back I hope, you promised not to leave me, and I’m holding you to that,” whispered Jerome meeting her gaze when she turned her head giving her a sleepy grin before kissing her remembering the night before as he did.   
“I’m not…I’ll always come back to you, baby. Where else would I want to be?” whispered Addison before letting him explore her mouth as her body leaned back into his arms responding to him as eagerly as she had the first time he touched her.   
“I don’t know with someone who deserves a beauty such as yourself,” growled Jerome letting both his hands and his eyes wonder over her. Even as Addison elbowed him in the ribs Jerome let his eyes devour her. She was incredible. Incredibly beautiful, incredibly sexy, incredibly smart and he loved her with all his heart. But in that nightgown that still clung to her curves leaving nothing hidden from him she looked not just incredible, she looked extraordinary. When their eyes met again she immediately saw the heat in his. She felt his hands move down her waist and when he gripped her thighs with a growl she sighed further into his arms the passion they had left unquenched the night before returning. In that moment Jerome wanted nothing more than to rid her of that fleecy little scrap of material. But he held back choosing instead to lean in close watching as her eyes closed at the feel of his lips. The kiss began tender then before turning into something fierce that neither of them could control. And in that moment Jerome found that wasn’t the only thing that couldn’t be controlled. He wasn’t in control either as he pulled her impossibly closer his now very noticeable erection hard against her ass wanting to be somewhere else entirely.   
The mere feel of him had her panting as she returned their kiss her tongue stroking his hearing him growl. That sound made her smile, she loved when he made that sound it turned her on, and she would always be the only one who would cause him to make it. She would see to it she was the only girl to ever touch him, if not now than in the future.   
“Don’t leave me…not yet. I need you, baby girl,” exclaimed Jerome his voice still so low in an attempt to be quiet so as not to wake the rest of his family. His hands left her thighs then moving to cup her breasts. They fit perfectly in his hands as they always had and placing hot kisses on her shoulders now Jerome began to grind his cock into her. He needed her, loved her, wanted her more than air.   
“I’m not, J. I was just going to surprise you with breakfast…I thought you’d be hungry when you woke up. I will never leave you, ever, I love you,” whispered Addison her voice nearly incoherent as he continued his ministrations. Her words seemed to calm him down for his movements became less frantic. He pulled her closer still molding her to his very body before suddenly she pulled away before he could stop her. But turning to face him he soon learned it was not over the second Addison pulled him back to her. Their lips met quickly as he pulled her leg around his hip again groaning as his cock touched her heated sex.   
“I thought you’d want to sleep in on your birthday…I guess I was wrong?” gasped Addison becoming out of breath as her hands found his shoulders. Her head lolled back then as their lips parted as his ran over her jaw leaving marks of his own. He didn’t say a word he only continued to worship her making her think about what he said the night before. The only thing he wanted for his birthday was her.   
“Yes, very wrong. All I want to do is pick up where we left off. I want you, Addy…always have…always will,” growled Jerome finally answering her meeting her gaze before looking at the door then back at her. He looked at her for barely a second his hands gripping her ass to pull her close his eyes telling her exactly what he wanted more than his words ever could.   
“We can eat breakfast later…now I’m just hungry for you, Addy. You’re the first birthday present I want today,” exclaimed Jerome using his hold on her to spread her legs tight around his waist. Jerome attacked her lips then as he rolled her so her back was against the bed and with the mere vigor of his kiss he told her one thing. That he was not going to be denied and Addison kissed him right back telling him something too. She didn’t intend to say no. Addison looked up at him then, he was waiting for her to give him a sigh, a sigh telling him to continue, but then she looked at the door, the unlocked door.   
His eyes followed her, a frown marring his face almost immediately. He knew what she was thinking in that moment and he knew she was right even as he didn’t want her to be. But still in that moment he didn’t care. All he cared about was being with her.   
“J, we can’t. One of the kids could walk in,” said Addison looking at him when he made her do so.   
“Yes we can, they’re all asleep,” whispered Jerome pulling her legs higher around his waist as if to emphasis his point. Addison could see he was prepared to say more, she could see he wasn’t going to let her go. And she really didn’t want him to.   
“Come on, baby girl…you know what you want to say. Forget about them out there…just think about us, in here, right now,” whispered Jerome holding her gaze a moment more before following her gaze back to the door.   
“Happy Birthday,” smiled Addison finally giving him her answer with those words. Jerome grinned like a Cheshire cat in that moment letting her hold his face in her hands. They peered into each other’s eyes for a moment before capturing his lips with all the passion she held in her heart for him. She would give him what he wanted, what they wanted, she would always give him that for as long as they were together. As the kiss progressed her hands ran down his back as his gripped her hip while one cupped her breast still squeezing it in appreciation. Jerome ran his tongue over her bottom lip then demanding entrance that he knew she wouldn’t deny him feeling as her legs tightened around his waist. Her grip on him only made him growl more his tongue like a snake as it devoured her lips. He always knew how to kiss her just right. With that thought in her mind she finally drew away looking at him with heavy lidded eyes. In that moment she wanted him, she wanted him more than anything, more then she had ever wanted anything in her life, and she proved that to him when she got him underneath her. Her body straddled him, her hold still tight as she moved her lips over him then in frenzy. Addison felt as he gripped her hips in response and looking back up at him she smiled making him do the same. Finding his lips again she kissed him for all she was worth. But they didn’t stay there soon they were traveling down his throat as she sang to him in a low voice making sure he could hear her.   
“Happy Birthday to you,” sang Addison seeing as he smiled in response holding her close as she continued.   
“Happy Birthday to you,” breathed Addison hearing him groan as she nipped and sucked at his pulse point.   
“Happy Birthday dear Jerome,” whispered Addison his name coming out on a sexy breath as her hands slid up his pajama shirt. Gently then as their eyes met she began to stroke his nipples knowing now sensitive they were making him moan. That moan was loud nearly too loud and it was followed by more as she moved up his neck to his ear whispering that part of the song again before toying with it with her tongue.   
“Happy Birthday to you,” breathed Addison their eyes meeting again before he pulled her lips down to his. Jerome laced his fingers in her hair then as he kissed her feeling as she twined her arms around him her legs still on either side of his body.   
In that moment Jerome felt the same thing he hoped she felt, her love, her need for him, and just how much she wanted him.   
“Baby girl…just like that,” exclaimed Jerome their lips parting on a breath as she began to grind against him once more. Her hips continued to move as his hands guided her hips hearing as she moaned low in her throat at the feeling. They never looked away from each other in that moment, they didn’t want to, and then her hands were on his chest as she sat straight up her back arching beautifully. Jerome couldn’t help, but think in that moment that she was his angel. His very seductive angel. Letting his eyes run over her sexy form still in that nightgown he didn’t take it off. He wanted to fuck her in it, to see her come apart in it then he could remove it, and do it all over again. That was his thought as he sat up his hands still on her hips as he eyed her breasts. She was perfect, beautiful, and perfect. And he loved her.   
“You’re so beautiful…so sexy...you’re all mine, Addy. Mine,” growled Jerome seeing as she smiled as he peppered the tops of her breasts in kissed before tonguing them through the powder blue material.   
Burying his head in her chest, Addison felt as he kissed her skin then with a moan from her he bit her.   
“God, baby,” whispered Addison feeling as he suckled her nipple into his mouth. Her hands came to grip the flaming red of his hair making him growl as she tugged in her excitement. He switched breasts then playing with the other as he repeated his actions. Jerome watched her out of the corner of his eye and he loved what he saw. Addison was always beautiful, but never more so then in that moment when she was panting lost to everything except his touch. And then he bit her again leaving a mark on her that she knew he would never let her cover. After taking his time in pleasuring her, Jerome moved back to her lips needing to kiss her in that moment. Taking her face in his hands he looked at her not giving her a moment’s notice before smothering her with a kiss.   
“God damn, Addy…I need you, now,” growled Jerome capturing her lips again before she could respond. But her lips said it all as they moved with his. They were just as eager as his own as were their hands as they touched each other everywhere they could.   
“I love you, baby,” whispered Addison her voice cracking slightly before she closed the distance between them again attacking his lips. This kiss was long and hard as her fingers gripped his hair. Neither of them ever wanted it to end, but they knew it had to. They loved sharing kisses, but in that moment they wanted to share something more than that. They wanted to make love and as his hands went up her gown to caress her skin Addison couldn’t suppress the shiver that went up her spine. When Jerome felt it he smiled; he loved that he could do that to her.   
“Addy,” growled Jerome ending the kiss to nip at her throat once more.   
Addison let him do as he pleased only clinging to him in response. And Jerome did what he wanted. He kissed her, he touched her, he marked her where he pleased, but his movements weren’t rushed. They were slow, calculated, and as she watched him Addison noticed that he kept looking at her. After each kiss, each mark was left on her skin Jerome would look up at her. He must have liked what he saw because his smile got bigger every time.   
“Damn baby girl…you’re really something,” said Jerome suddenly his eyes on her as he fisted the bottom of her gown in his hand.   
“You really like it, huh?” whispered Addison making him look at her with a grin his lips moving over her jaw now. His eyes still never left her then as he covered her face in kisses. This made her smile his name leaving her lips on a laugh before she pulled him to her. This time it was Addy who demanded a kiss and he gave it with no hesitation.   
“On anybody else, no, but on you it’s sexy as hell. Addy, only you do it for me, only you could make it beautiful. On anybody else it’d be slutty, but because it is you it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful,” exclaimed Jerome letting her pull his lips back to hers as he held her in his arms. Addison smiled in response afterward her fingers tracing his shoulder blades.   
“Does that mean you won’t get bored with me eventually, baby?” whispered Addison watching as he became suddenly very serious.   
“No that’s not going to happen. You’re my girl, Addy. I’ll never get tired of you. I love you, Addison, I hope you’ll always know that,” whispered Jerome not letting her look away waiting for her response.   
“I love you too, Jerome…I’m glad I’m your girl. I wouldn’t want to be anybody else’s,” whispered Addison kissing his lips moaning as he touched her like only he could once more.   
“Now…let me give you your present…that is, if you’re ready for it?” smiled Addison seeing so many emotions in his eyes in that moment. There was love, there was lust, but there was also trust. In that moment she knew he trusted her with his heart, with everything that he was, but most of all Jerome trusted her not to break his heart. And Addison vowed she never would as she awaited his answer.   
“Baby girl, I’ve been ready all week. For you, I’m always ready,” growled Jerome kissing her once more as his hands moved between them hiking her gown up around her waist.   
“Me too, for you,” whispered Addison her lips barely parting from his.   
“You are so hot, baby; you’re the only one I’ll ever want. You are the only guy who will ever touch me or do it for me for the rest of my life,” said Addison peering into his eyes her hands on his chest now pushing him onto the bed.   
“Jerome,” purred Addison her lips kissing him tenderly. As their lips moved together getting more powerful by the second, her hands wondered to the bulge straining his pajamas. His hands tightened on her as she touched him through his pants making him groan into their kiss. She knew just how to touch him; in that moment Jerome made the same vow he knew she had. No other would ever touch him, only her, his Addy. But that was all wiped from his mind when she squeezed his cock in her hand before breaking their kiss. Before he could register what was happening Jerome found himself naked from the waist down his cock still in her hand. Never breaking eye contact with him, Addison fondled him making his eyes become blown wide with lust as she moved over him palming his head again and again.   
Her hand moved at a steady pace over him, his hands moving over her back. She could feel his nails lightly tracing her skin as she palmed his head making her name leave his lips. It sent a throb of pleasure right between her legs.   
“Addy…I can’t… I need you. Please I’m gonna come…let me take you,” exclaimed Jerome part of him feeling exhilarated.   
She had always been able to get him there, no one could get him all worked up like she could, but never before had she done it so quickly. His words made Addison take a gasp of air as she looked down at him.   
“Then do it, J,” breathed Addison feeling his hands on her then almost immediately. Jerome released another one of those growls that turned her on so his eyes like that of a very hungry hyena in that moment as he held her against his body. Her hands fell away from him in that moment and with their gazes locked Addy prepared for him to make love to her. Jerome laid her down on the bed in one movement his eyes never leaving her. Spreading her legs she wrapped them around his waist again holding him there as her arms gripped his upper back.   
As if on instinct by now, Jerome captured her lips as soon as he could. He deepened it immediately his lips moving swiftly over hers gently biting her lower lips making her gasp. In that moment as he kissed her Addison couldn’t help, but think about how much she had missed his kisses when he had been gone. She had missed everything about him. But then she felt his fingers trace down her stomach, a gasp leaving her as he touched her clothed sex. Jerome found a wet spot there in the front of her panties, as he felt it with his fingers he couldn’t hold back his growl.   
“Mmmm…you’re all wet for me, baby girl,” growled Jerome looking down at her as he fingered her panties removing them in one movement.   
Their breathing was already heavy as they stared at each other, but then Addison gave him a nod telling him to make love to her without any words at all. He took himself in hand then pulling her legs tight around his waist as he put his cock at her entrance hearing her moan in anticipation. That moan made him smile as he leaned down to kiss her sweetly.   
“You ready, Addy,” whispered Jerome caressing her cheek feeling as she leaned into his touch. Her eyes said that she was, but Jerome needed to hear it. He needed to hear her say it even though he didn’t really know why. But then Addison smiled at him touching his cheek as he did hers.   
“Make love to me, baby,” breathed Addison pulling him down to kiss her. Her hands gripped him then as she held his back her breathing getting even heavier as he filled her. Only once they were connected in the way they only could be did the kiss break and opening their eyes they looked at each other. They did this for a long time neither of them moving a muscle until they couldn’t take it anymore. As he began to move at a steady rhythm inside her wet heat Addison pulled him wanting his lips on hers. Their bodies and their lips moved in time her hands grasping his shoulders frantically as they sought to bring each other pleasure. Pleasure only they could give each other.   
“Oh god, J…you feel so good,” gasped Addison her head falling back against the pillow. For a second her eyes closed as they moved together still unable to stop. But then Jerome touched her cheek making her eyes open again on instinct. Peering up into his eyes, Addison smiled at him before accepting another she arched into his body needing to feel his skin against her own. As they moved together his thrusts becoming harder and faster by the second her lips left his. Stroking his nipples and suckling his pulse point, Addison littered his neck in marks as he moved inside her still his thrusts deep as he found that special place inside her. The second he did Addison pulled him down to kiss her knowing if she didn’t she would scream waking everybody up. Whispering I love you’s into their kisses, they moved over each other lovingly. Their hands splaying out against their skin as he hit that spot repeatedly. Jerome kissed her over and over then helping her convey her sounds of pleasure as she helped him with his own. They were both so close in that moment, but in that moment Jerome found himself thinking that he wished he could hear her scream for him.   
“That’s it, baby girl…you feel so good,” growled Jerome letting her roll him onto his back in that moment.   
Looking down at him with lust hazed eyes, Addison moved over him riding him the way she always had. His hands found her hips then as he gazed up at her thrusting up into her keeping up with the pace she had set.   
“Baby,” breathed Addison her hands moving forward as her back arched seeking out his shoulders. Jerome watched her then his eyes eating her thinking that she was so beautiful in that moment. Her head was tilted back in her pleasure, she was covered in sweat just like he was, and her eyes were closed her bottom lip stuck between her teeth. In that moment as he watched her Jerome wanted that lip to be between his teeth. She was so close, he could tell she was as close as him their movements becoming more powerful as they sought release. It was as they were attacking each other’s lips that the one thing they hoped wouldn’t happen did.   
“J,” gasped Addison seconds before a knock sounded on the door making them freeze staring down at each other.   
They were both so close in that moment, they didn’t want to stop, but they both knew in that moment that they had to. Slowly they both looked at the door both of them praying whoever it was wouldn’t just burst through the door.   
“Are you guys up?” called Charlie her voice hesitant.   
“Yes, don’t come in here, we’ll come out there in one second,” exclaimed Jerome his voice rushed and urgent. As they spoke their eyes met a mixture of sadness and worry in both. They did not need Charlie or anyone else walking in on them.   
“Ok, hurry up, the kids want to wish, J, a happy birthday,” said Charlie letting them hear as she walked away from the door.   
Sitting up Jerome wrapped both his arms around her then letting his head fall onto her chest. Addison sighed then holding him in her arms her fingers running through his hair. But then she heard him say something. Looking down at him she gave him a curious look silently asking what he said. Laying her down on the bed again, Jerome slipped out of the warmth of her body, and lying by her side he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.   
“I was having a very happy birthday until she knocked on the door,” sighed Jerome kissing Addison’s forehead. Addison smiled at him then before nuzzling closer to him eyeing the door as she did so. With a shared sigh they left the bed both of them feeling unfulfilled. They got dressed quickly with Jerome helping Addison into a robe after his pants were off.   
They looked at the door then each other than before he pulled her into his arms feeling as her arms encircled him right away. Gently then he leaned down to her level kissing her passionately feeling as her arms wrapped around him nearly strangling him.   
“We’re never going to get to be alone, Addy. We’re just going to keep getting interrupted, aren’t we?” whispered Jerome a frown marring his face as their lips parted. Jerome held her close still in that moment as he searched her eyes for an answer thinking that he knew it already. All he wanted for his birthday was some alone time with her, but he had a bad feeling that that was the one thing he wasn’t going to get.   
“Yes you will, I don’t care if I have to steal you away, we will be alone together today,” said Addison just as another knock sounded.  
“We’re on our way,” called Addison kissing the annoyed look from his face. They let this last kiss linger for only a moment before their eyes fell on the door again and sharing yet another sigh they began to move towards it.


	29. Birthday Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hay, I just wanted to get a chapter out to you guys before I take a little break. School is starting again and I want to get back into my routine again. So I'm taking a tiny break just for a couple weeks, a month at the longest. I hope you all understand and read this chapter.

When Jerome exited the bedroom he was immediately tackled by his younger siblings, grunting as Oliver soon joined the fray helping them nearly knock him to the ground.  
“Happy Birthday big brother,” exclaimed the three of them Charlie repeating the sentiment behind them as she cooked breakfast a tiny smile on her face as she watched him stumble with them in tow to the table. Shaking her head, Addison smiled as she walked past the group. It was one of those days when she was grateful that they had welcomed her into their family. Since her mom had died she hadn’t really had that, in fact, if she hadn’t of had them she wasn’t so sure she would have survived. With that thought in mind she joined Charlie had the stove, the two of them sharing a smile, as she opened the package labeled bacon to help her along with breakfast.   
“ After breakfast you can start on his cake if you want," said Charlie pouring eggs in a skillet before turning to flip a pancake onto a growing pile.   
“ Yeah, I’ll start it after the breakfast dishes are done,” said Addison in response smiling as the bacon began to fry in the pan the aroma wafting up to greet her nose. She loved baking and cooking for her baby. It was her way of showing her love for him and looking at him out of the corner of her eye she smiled wider. She loved him so much, more than she would have ever thought it possible, and though she knew some would think her silly Addison knew he was her soul mate. Not many people found their soul mate at nine years old, but she knew she had. When the pancakes, eggs, and bacon were all done they sat down for breakfast. Like any meal they had ever had together nothing was silent and for once each of them was happy. Jerome sat with his family around him, his arm draped around his girl, and a feeling of relief seemed to settle over him. He was home. He still had his family and suddenly for the first time he thought everything might be okay. There had been a time when he had thought nothing would ever be okay again. There was a time when he thought his next birthday would be spent behind bars surrounded by crazies, but he was far from that now. Now he was home, he was safe, and the people he loved still loved him. Jerome would forever be grateful of it all, his siblings, his girl; his family. As long as he had them he didn’t need anything else.   
After breakfast no one would let him help with anything. Chloe and Jackson immediately descended into Charlie’s room to wrap presents, Oliver followed along behind them, screaming could be heard immediately, and Charlie and Addison did the dishes. He was forced to simply sit and watch. But then the last of the dishes were done, Charlie was gone to help the chaos going on in her room. Jerome found himself left with Addison then, her back turned as she started her usual birthday ritual. He grinned just at the thought; he loved when she baked for him or cooked for him. The girl had true talent in the kitchen. It was one of the many things he had missed while in Arkham, but also the only thing that got him to swallow down the dredge they called food. And sitting there in that moment he remembered the meals at Arkham.  
They were damn near inedible, it had taken him awhile to get used to, but eventually he found a way.   
“You know, when I was in Arkham…the only way I could manage to eat the food was when I pretended it was your carrot cake,” said Jerome not really sure why he was telling her this watching as she turned to smile his way.   
“Really…well, you don’t have to pretend anymore. I’ll bake you a carrot cake anytime you want,” whispered Addison returning to her task her voice cracking just at the thought of him being gone. Jerome chuckled in response as he made it to his feet slowly padding over to her. Standing behind her, he leaned flush against her, her back to his chest, as his hands came to clutch at her waist. He had caught the catch in her voice when she said that. Kissing the back of her head, it was a silent reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere again.   
“I’m here, baby…I love you,” breathed Jerome making her turn her head meeting his eyes.   
“I know, I love you too,” smiled Addison leaning back suddenly needing to feel him there with her.   
“What can I do?” said Jerome laying his head on her shoulder watching her add her ingredients then mix them together.   
“Nothing,” said Addison without looking at him.   
Jerome smiled at her stubbornness planting a kiss on her cheek before continuing onto her throat. But then he looked at her letting out a groan as he held her closer part of him remembering their time not too long ago in his bed. Laying his head against hers he spoke softly to her, at first it was merely sweet nothing as he tried to butter her up into letting him help, but when even that didn’t work he groaned again.   
“Please Addy…let me do something. I’m so bored I could die of it,” exclaimed Jerome making her laugh at his over exaggeration his body sagging playfully against her own. Sometimes he could be so funny, so childlike, but others so serious. With him, she never knew what to expect, but Addison didn’t mind that. In fact, she was sure that that was one of the things that had made her fall in love with him.   
“Yes, you can watch,” grinned Addison laughing when he glared at her. Jerome returned to the table with a sigh, he hadn’t held much hope of breaking her resolve, but he always had to try. But still his eyes never left her. He focused on her, on the curves of her body, on the movement of her hands as she worked, and most of all on her face. Her beautiful face. He could just stare at her for the rest of his life and he would be happy.   
“Quit it…you know I don’t like to be stared at, Jerome,” said Addison adding ingredient to her batter.   
“I can’t help it…you’re quite the sight,” smiled Jerome.   
“No I’m not. I’m just an ordinary girl, “said Addison mixing the batter very quickly now. Jerome frowned at her then making her give him all his attention.   
“No you’re not. You, baby girl, are far from ordinary, you’re my girl, and so to me you are always a beautiful sight,” said Jerome making her stop to look at him. It wasn’t very often he said something like that, something so sweet, or romantic, but even he had his moments. That remark earned him a quick kiss on the lips before she returned to her baking a smile on her face now.   
“You, Mr. Valeska, are going to get a very happy birthday later,” whispered Addison as she worked giving him a wink that he returned with a smile. He continued to watch her then hearing as she started to hum as she worked. She mixed everything together until it was just right and only then did the batter get poured into two cake pans. And when it was all just right she handed him the spoon with a smile. But Jerome knew as he licked at the treat that she was far from done. Pulling another bowl from the cabinet she started on the frosting making it with as much love as she had the cake itself. Only when that was done did Addison finally turn to look at him again. He couldn’t help, but grin when he saw her. Cake baking was a very messy job and standing there she looked a mess. She had a hint of cake batter on the corner of her mouth and a smudge of frosting on her neck. Just looking at her Jerome was determined he would be the one licking it off. Rising to come to her side again he couldn’t resist pulling her close feeling as her hands found his chest immediately.   
“Well…don’t you look yummy,” whispered Jerome leaning down to lick the bit of frosting from her neck. He met her gaze then watching as she smiled her eyes getting slightly heavy at the action as her arms encircled him. The second she did this her face was in his hands and attacking her lips he kissed her with a passion he only had for her. He didn’t care in that moment if Charlie and the kids walked in to see them, he just wanted to kiss her, to be with her, and that was his only thought as he kissed her heatedly deepening it before she had a chance to stop him. Not that she would have anyway. As the kiss progressed, Addison leaned heavily against him moaning as she tasted the frosting on his tongue. The kiss was hard and fast. There appeared to be no stopping point and that moan only seemed to spur him on. Soon he had his hands underneath her knees picking her up his mouth leaving her. His eyes never left her as he dropped her on the counter with a squeak diving right back into kiss her again as her fingers traveled into his red hair. As she tugged on the strands he growled his mouth leaving hers traveling to her neck once more. His lips quickly moved over her throat running over it again with his tongue as her legs grabbed him pulling him flush with her.   
“Damn Addy…if we don’t get some alone time soon I don’t what I’m going to do. I need you,” gasped Jerome his lips returning to hers almost immediately, but then as if on cue there was a knock on the door.   
Their lips parted almost immediately both of them looking at the door. Finally their eyes met again with a sigh, their foreheads touched, and as the knocking continued nothing was said. They both just wanted everybody to go away.   
“We just can’t catch a break, can we?” breathed Jerome their eyes meeting.  
“No, but later I promise I’ll find a way for it to be just the two of us,” whispered Addison pulling him in for one last kiss. It was then that Oliver answered the door letting Jonathan in. His eyes instantly fell on the united form of his two best friends locked in a passionate embrace. It made him smile, he was glad to know they would always be in love, that even their time apart couldn’t break that up. But that didn’t keep him from poking some fun at them.   
“Get a room,” whispered Jonathan as he walked past them with a smirk. This made the couple break their kiss both of them looking at him as he sat down. They knew he was just poking fun, but still the irony of what he said wasn’t lost on them.   
“We got a room…that’s not the problem. We just need to get people to leave us alone while we’re there,” whispered Jerome more to Addison then to anyone else. Still looking at her then he smiled at her picked her up feeling as her legs wrapped around him. Carrying her to the table he sat down smiling as she made herself comfortable in his lap tenderly kissing his cheek as she did so.   
“You having a happy birthday so far, J” smiled Jonathan.   
“Yeah sort of. Though I’ll be having a real happy birthday a little later,” said Jerome squeezing Addison’s thigh from beneath the table to emphasis his meaning.


	30. Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerome's Birthday continues.

The day continued slowly, but that didn’t decrease Jerome’s happiness. He was surrounded by the only people who mattered to him, who he loved more than anything; one of which he wouldn’t even let leave his lap. Addison was still snug in his lap letting him steal the occasional kiss, letting him nibble at her ear not to mention other places, but when his siblings left Charlie’s room even she lost his attention. They were each carrying a present and only then was Addison able to slip away. Addison soon held a present of her own. They surrounded him making it clear who the center of attention was and Jerome couldn’t help his smile as his big sister stepped up to him.   
“Happy Birthday, Jerome. I love you,” whispered Charlie her voice low, but her eyes sincere as she handed him her gift. Jerome took it with a smile feeling a warm gooey feeling in the center of his chest as he opened the newspaper that served as birthday wrapping. What was underneath brought tears to his eyes, he loved it, but more so because it was his sister who got it for him. Underneath was a brand new watch nothing too expensive or fancy, but to him it was wonderful. Not only did he need a watch, but she had given it to him.   
Suddenly he couldn’t take his eyes off of his big sister. Jerome quickly made it to his feet and before she could stop him he hugged her tight. Slowly her arms were around him too and with a kiss to his cheek he felt the tears leaving her eyes.   
“Thanks sis,” breathed Jerome hearing as she cried just a little bit.   
“No problem, I remembered you saying you needed a new one since the other broke before…I missed you, J,” whispered Charlie hugging him tighter than she ever had before. Ending their moment, Charlie turned away from him refusing to let him see her cry. That was one thing Jerome and her had always shared, they had spent their life hearing from their mother that tears were weak, and both of them had trouble letting other people see them. Oliver took that opportunity to give Jerome his present. It wasn’t wrapped in fact it didn’t even look like a present. At first glance Jerome didn’t know what it was supposed to be, but he tried not to show it. It was just a piece of blank paper.  
“I know it’s just a piece of paper, it has a deeper meaning than meets the eye,” smiled Oliver watching as Jerome turned the paper over looking at both sides before looking at him. What deep meaning could a blank piece of paper have?   
“Oliver, what did you do?” said Jerome curiously remembering some of his brother’s memorable stunts over the years.   
“Nothing, I haven’t done anything. That’s my notice, I’m moving out of the room we share, and into the guest room. Charlie said I could have it as a room of my own and your nineteen now, so you need your own room,” whispered Oliver not willing to admit some part of him would miss sharing a room with his brother. He had done it nearly his whole life. The change that was happening now was going to take some getting used to.   
“Oliver…are you…are you sure? You don’t have to do that,” exclaimed Jerome taken completely by surprise. He hadn’t been expecting this and looking at his brother now he wasn’t sure he wanted it. He had always shared a room with Oliver, even when he was a baby Jerome had slept with him in-between him and Charlie.   
“Yeah I’m sure, I love you man, but this needs to happen. We both need our own space because I’m sick of sleeping in the same bed where you and Addy fu…” began Oliver.   
“Oliver!” exclaimed Charlie pointing to the two kids still within earshot.   
“Anyway, don’t think anything of it,” said Oliver slapping his brother on the back. Jerome didn’t get the chance to say anything more about it as Oliver left the trailer for a smoke and Jackson declared it his turn. He barely had time to catch his brother in a hug that nearly knocked him over, it brought a smile to his face; these were the moments he missed when he was away. Being surrounded by his incredible family.   
“I missed you so much while you were gone, J, happy birthday,” whispered Jackson clutching Jerome around the neck tightly. Gently he set him down once more before ruffling his hair playfully and accepting the gift he thrust into his hands.   
“I love you, Jacks,” smiled Jerome as he opened the gift quickly seeing his little brother’s excitement. Underneath was a beautifully painted rock.   
“Gee Jacks this is really nice. Did you find and paint this yourself? I love it,” said Jerome ruffling his brother’s hair again. It may have been the simplest gift, but Jerome loved it all the same. It came from the heart.   
“My turn,” exclaimed Chloe barely giving Jackson a chance to nod in response.   
“Ok, Chloe, what did you get me?” smiled Jerome accepting a wet kiss on the cheek as she climbed into his lap the second he sat down again.   
“Happy Birthday,” whispered Chloe handing him the picture she had drawn. It was another gift from the heart and he loved it.   
“It’s a picture of our family. See there’s you, me, Charlie, Oliver, Jackson, Addy, and Archer. Now if you leave again you won’t forget about us,” whispered Chloe making tears gather in his eyes. He had missed his family so much. This only showed him more that they loved him as much as he loved them. Looking at his little sister in that moment he kissed her cheek making her look up at him. She hugged him tight around the neck and he returned the gesture with no hesitation at all.   
“ Sometimes I really love you, Sugar Bear,” whispered Jerome rubbing his nose against hers.   
“I love you too, big brother, but all of the time,” smiled Chloe making each one of them burst out laughing.   
The two kids ran outside then to play in the same moment as Charlie returned to her room. It was then that Jonathan got his best friends attention. He didn’t have to, but he had gotten him a gift too. It wasn’t wrapped, but Jerome still loved it as he took the two cartons of cigarettes.   
“You shouldn’t run out any time soon,” smiled Jonathan punching his friend playfully in the arm. The friends shared a laugh as Jerome turned his head looking at Addy. Without a seconds hesitation he pulled her back into his lap.   
“I love you, baby. Happy, happy, happy birthday,” purred Addison kissing his face all over. Gently then she pressed her gift into his chest before molding their lips together in a searing heated kiss that woke him up in more ways than one. It made him think of the other present he had been waiting all morning for. She tried to leave his lap then, so he could open it, but he wouldn’t let her.   
“Don’t even think about moving,” growled Jerome his hands gripping her waist hard. Jerome attacked her lips then making it clear exactly what was on his mind before letting his attention shift. He looked at the gift she had given him and knew what it was, but after living in Arkham he would treasure it more than he ever had anything in the world. And he was right, inside was a beautiful hand knitted sweater. Addy had made him many of them and for a while he had been sick of them, but now he remembered being away. While in Arkham he had wished he had every sweater she ever gave him when he was trying to sleep in his cold cell. It was red with a black J and looking at Addy it was perfect; it was exactly what he wanted.   
“I love you, baby girl, you have no idea how much I’ve missed your sweaters,” said Jerome his voice catching as he remembered his cold Arkham cell. Slowly their foreheads touched as he held her face in his hands. Looking at her in that moment he just stared at her. He had missed his Addison, so very much. He wasted not a second kissing her, his tongue plunging into her mouth as he moved his hands to grab her bringing her closer until suddenly Jonathan cleared his throat.   
“I’m still right here,” whispered Jonathan shaking his head one hand covering his eyes.   
“Oh, does Johnny boy want some affection too?” said Jerome moving as if to get up when Jonathan bolted.   
“I’ll be outside,” said Jonathan making both of them laugh before Jerome kissed her again.   
“I hope this won’t be my only present,” whispered Jerome running his tongue over her throat. Before she could respond he was marking her leaving a deep purple bruise like hickey on her throat for the world to see. His lips soon returned to hers then kissing her as if he wanted to leave a bruise there too.   
“Yes, baby, as soon as the opportunity presents itself I’ll be giving you the best present you’ve ever had. Several, several times,” gasped Addison smiling briefly at him. That smile didn’t last though, soon it was covered by his hungry devouring lips as his hands moved her so she straddled him, and hers delved into his hair using it to hold him in place. Addison kissed his cheek as she pulled away moving quickly to his sensitive ear running her tongue over it.   
“God damn, Addy, I need you. I need you now,” growled Jerome gripping her body almost painfully. She could feel his erection beneath her and pulling him into one final kiss she knew she would have to stop soon.   
She couldn’t get him all revved up with everyone still around.   
“If we ever get time alone I’m never letting you go,” whispered Jerome burying his face in her neck.   
“I know, baby, neither will I. You don’t know how much I want you right now,” whispered Addison feeling as his hands inched between her legs as she held him close. With one final kiss, Addison let him up to take his presents to his room, and it was then that Charlie came racing to her side.   
“Addy, listen…I know Jerome wants to spend this day with you, so I’m going to take Jonathan, and the kids out for the day. We’ll be back later tonight, so you guys won’t have to worry about anyone interrupting you,” explained Charlie continuing to keep her eyes peeled for Jerome. She considered this a second gift to him. Addison was instantly confused, she knew Jerome wanted a little time alone with her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to spend it with his family too.   
“He doesn’t want to spend his birthday with just me, Charlie, you don’t have to do that,” exclaimed Addison shaking her head.   
“Addy…it’s ok…you love each other and after everything I’m glad you two haven’t lost that. He wants to be with you. He can’t keep his hands off you. We spent time with him; now please let me do this. He needs you right now, we can all see that,” smiled Charlie taking the hand of the girl she had come to see as another sister giving it a squeeze before returning to her room. She just stood there in shock, Charlie’s words going through her mind, and as many times as they did she still didn’t understand them. Jerome couldn’t keep his hands off her, he hadn’t been able to since he returned, and she didn’t understand why. Jerome had always showed her without having to that he loved her, he had always been such a gentlemen, so loving when it came to her, but since returning from that place he had been different. He didn’t seem to ever want to let her go. That was especially clear today when on such a special day he wanted nothing more than to be with her. Just her. Addison didn’t understand it, nothing had changed. She still loved him more than anything in the world and he felt the same. Why was he so focused on her? What was going through that mind of his?   
These questions moved through her mind so rapidly that Addison was lost to everything around her. She didn’t notice Jerome exit his room his eyes on her instantly as he moved silently behind her. Before Addison knew it he was wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her as close as he could get making all thought leave her. Having him right there in that moment, Addison wanted to ask him all these questions, but he didn’t give her the opportunity. Before she could have one coherent thought Jerome was all over her once more his lips moving to mark every inch of her he could reach. It had her melting in his arms her hands finding his as she moaned in response to what he was going making a growl leave his own throat.   
“Jerome,” gasped Addison practically clinging to him her eyes closed tight, but they quickly flew open again when someone cleared their throat.   
“I’m taking the kids and Jonathan out for the day. We won’t be back until late. Happy Birthday, J,” said Charlie smiling wolfishly at the both of them before exiting the trailer. They stood there then, Addison knew he was just as shocked as she had been, but he got over it quickly.   
“It’s about damn time we were alone,” growled Jerome as he swept Addison off her feet his lips connecting with hers seconds after that.   
“I love you, Addy,” whispered Jerome their foreheads touching as he moved them to his bedroom. He had waited and he didn’t want to wait anymore. He had been separated from her, he had feared he’d lost her too many times, and now he just wanted to be with her. He wanted to love her and look into her eyes already knowing without a doubt that she loved him as he loved her.   
“Finally it’s just me and my girl,” said Jerome happily kicking the door closed once they were in his room. Jerome laid her on the bed with a flourish his heart pounding as he covered her. He found her lips as quickly as he could and kissing her soundly he pulled her body tight against his letting her feel how much she was already effecting him. He kissed her with a passion his hands gripping her hips as her hands tangled in his hair.   
“Jerome…baby, I know you’re anxious, but…wait just one second,” whispered Addison letting her head fall back against the bed. She tried then to pull away though neither Jerome nor her own body wanted her to, but his hold on her proved too much.   
“No, Addy…don’t make me wait anymore,” exclaimed Jerome pecking her on the lips. He gazed down into her eyes their foreheads connecting as he silently begged for her not to make him wait anymore. Addison touched his cheek in response and gently she smiled.   
“I’m sorry…I was just wondering…I need to ask you something, please,” whispered Addison caressing his cheek soothingly. Their eyes remained locked as he refused to pull away his head moving in a soft nod as he waited to hear what she had to say. He always listened to what she had to say, but he hoped it would be a quick conversation. He wanted to continue loving her before someone or something else interrupted.  
“Why are you, so desperate to spend your birthday with me? Why did you want me? I mean, you could have me any day, why today?” breathed Addison surprised when he smiled in response.   
“Sometimes you ask the silliest questions,” whispered Jerome before his lips found hers kissing her as his hands came to grip her face deepening it the second they did.   
“I love you, Addy; I was gone for a year. I missed you,” whispered Jerome his lips barely leaving hers.   
“But you were gone; you missed your siblings too. I know you did, shouldn’t you wat to spend today with them too,” whispered Addison looking into his eyes. Jerome’s smile returned as a silence fell between them. He simply looked at her in that moment as if deciding what to say, but then he pulled her impossibly close releasing a heavy sigh.   
“I thought I was going to lose you, not once, not twice, but three times, Addison. First when I went to Arkham. I thought lost everything, you, my family, and my freedom. The second time…well…I got out; I came here, and was welcomed back by my family. But I couldn’t see you right away because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. I was afraid I’d lost you. Then finally the third time I had that dream and I thought I was going to lose you because I can’t take care of you. So many times I’ve thought I was going to lose you that’s why I wanted you for my birthday. That’s why I wanted to spend my birthday with just you. I love you and I missed you, so much,” exclaimed Jerome watching as tears gathered in her eyes. Slowly the tears left her eyes descending down her cheeks and taking his face in her hands she just looked at him. She just looked at him for a long time before her hands left his face moving to his shoulders and using them she pulled his lips down to hers surprising him with a flaming sexy overpowering kiss.   
Running her tongue over his bottom lip, Addison quickly gained entrance to his mouth hearing him moan as he kissed her back with just as much fervor. Her arms wrapped around his neck as her legs parted so he was nestled in-between them and then she felt it. There was a pounding moving the space in-between them and Addison knew it was their hearts. They were beating together in perfect rhythm.   
“I love you, Jerome Valeska, and don’t you ever forget it,” whispered Addison not letting him say anything in return as she kissed him. They never wanted to stop kissing each other. They both knew that. They knew they would be kissing each other and only each other for the rest of their lives.   
“I love you, baby,” whispered Addison their foreheads connecting as he ran his hands down her sides before returning to where they had left off. Jerome only smiled that smile that she loved in response before hiding it in the expanse of her neck marking her where he pleased. As he did this her hands moved away from his shoulders gripping his upper back using it to pull him closer. But no matter what she did she couldn’t get him close enough.   
“You are so beautiful, Addy, you smell, so good,” gasped Jerome bringing a hand to untie her robe.   
Addison sat up in that moment helping him remove the robe altogether, but throwing it to the floor she pulled him back to her. She pulled him into a deep kiss, his hands on her hips as hers gripped his shirt.   
“No more waiting,” breathed Addison pushing him onto his back as she straddled him.   
“Addy,” growled Jerome gripping her hips without hesitation as she moved above him grinding her sex into his causing an erection to form almost immediately. She was about to remove his pajama pants when the worst possible thing happened.  
Suddenly there was a knock on the trailer door, they both became suddenly very still, not even daring to breath, but the knocking continued. Stopping mid kiss they looked at each other knowing they had to answer the door.  
“What the hell,” exclaimed Jerome with a sigh? He sat up in that moment feeling as Addison wrapped her arms around him and letting him bury his head in her chest she stroked her fingers through his hair. Today was not proving a good day for them.   
“I’ll get it then we’ll pick up right where we were,” whispered Addison kissing him.   
“This is all your fault, you had to talk to me,” whispered Jerome only kidding, but knowing she knew that as she pulled him into a kiss. Going to the door, Addison yanked it open hating who she saw on the other side. It was Jim Gordon.   
“Addison, can I see Jerome?” said Jim stepping inside. She instantly knew it was going to be a long wait. Moving back into the bedroom Addison knew Jerome was ready to drag her right back into the bed, but staying in the doorway he instantly knew something was wrong.   
“Detective Gordon’s here to see you,” whispered Addison.   
“Fuck,” growled Jerome getting up from the bed. Stopping in front of Addy, Jerome leaned his head against her shoulder.   
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” whispered Jerome feeling as she leaned her head against his.   
“I don’t think we’re going to get a chance to do that,” whispered Addison letting him wrap his arm around her both of them going into the kitchen where Detective Gordon waited.


	31. A Visit from Detective Gordon

“Talk to the Detective, hopefully this visit will be real quick, and then we can get back to you and me,” whispered Addison in Jerome’s ear as they entered the room finding Jim sitting quietly at the table. Despite the temptation in her words, Jerome saw the worry in her eyes in that moment. He knew just by the tremble in her voice that she was afraid as she always was that this would be the day Gordon decided to take him away. But he was sure today would not be that day. However, Jerome still wanted to get rid of the detective as soon as possible, he was keeping him from his time with his baby girl.   
“Detective Gordon, what brings you here right at this very moment? You couldn’t have stopped by say…tomorrow,” smiled Jerome trying, but failing to hide his displeasure over the visit. He sat across from the detective looking at him a moment before searching for Addison. He found her immediately behind him.   
“I haven’t checked up on you in a while…figured it was about time,” said Detective Gordon in response not getting the hint until a second later. Until that moment Addison had stood behind Jerome in the background her eyes glued to the detective. She was still afraid he would suddenly say he was taking Jerome again, but when Jerome took her hand pulling her with a forceful tug into his lap she became calm. They always had a way of calming each other, of protecting each other from their fears whether real or not, and that moment was no different. The second she was in Jerome’s arms again Addison found her fears soothed and from the look in his eye he knew that.   
“ You just stay right there, Addy dear,” said Jerome kissing her cheek as he wrapped her securely in his arms one hand splaying out to draw patterns in the skin of her knee. Then much to her surprise he looked straight at Gordon then back at her.   
“You showed up at an inopportune moment…Addy was giving me my birthday present or well trying to,” whispered Jerome kissing her shoulder. Jerome looked into her eyes then one hand sliding up her back to grip the back of her neck. He didn’t hesitate to use it to pull her into a passionate kiss not caring if the detective was there or not. He wanted him to see that she was his world, his everything, the love of his life.   
“Hurry up and talk to the detective,” said Addison as the kiss ended. Jerome nodded with a sigh, he reluctantly looked away from her letting Jim have his attention.   
“I needed to come speak to you…today was the only day I had free. Your aunt has kept me up to date on how you’re doing and I wanted to see for myself. I didn’t know it was your birthday…happy birthday,” said Detective Gordon clearly uncomfortable with their open display of affection. He still had a problem thinking of Jerome Valeska this killer as someone who felt things and loved people. It would always be a bit strange.   
“ Gee, Jim old buddy thank you…is that all,” smiled Jerome looking at Addy for a split second wanting to take her right there on the table as soon as the Detective left the room. It was in that moment that she grabbed the hand at her knee giving it a tight squeeze silently telling him she was not happy. He needed to be on his best behavior with the detective; one wrong move could send him back to Arkham.   
“Be nice,” whispered Addison under her breath. She let go of his hand in that moment giving him a smile as she let it travel under the table where the Detective couldn’t see. When she ran her hand over him from within his pajama pants it took all Jerome had not to jump right out of his seat. Their eyes met in that moment as they gave each other a look that only they knew the meaning of.   
“Umm…Jerome?” said Detective Gordon returning their attention to him. And much to Jim’s surprise Jerome gave him his full attention giving Addison a kiss on the cheek as he pulled her closer.   
“I need to ask you some very important questions about Theo Galavan,” whispered Detective Gordon clearly not liking the subject any more than Jerome from the look on his face. Jerome’s features became dark and it was clear just by the tension in the room in that moment that he didn’t want to remember that man let alone talk about him.   
Jerome was instantly on alert pulling Addison as close as he could get her as if just speaking the man’s name would make him appear.   
“I figured you’d want to talk about him eventually…didn’t think it’d be so soon though,” said Jerome giving Addy’s hand a squeeze like she had done before.   
“I have a few simple questions, you see, a friend of mine is involved with him, and I want to help her,” explained Detective Gordon his anxiety showing.   
”Really? Who?” whispered Jerome instantly curious?   
“Do you remember Barbara Kean…tall…blond…beautiful,” whispered Detective Gordon that last word barely a whisper. Jerome and Addison both knew they weren’t meant to hear it, but they also knew from the look on his face that this woman truly meant something to him. The pain of just speaking her name was written clear across his face.   
Jerome smiled as her name ran through his head. He remembered her alright, but he knew the detective wasn’t going to like what he had to say. Barbara wasn’t the person Jim had known; now she was something else. Something bad like Jerome had been.   
“Babs…that’s what we called her in Arkham though now…if she’s still with Galavan…she’s his whore now,” said Jerome jumping back with Addison as soon as the detective reacted to his words. Suddenly he was right there in Jerome’s face his hands splayed out on the table. It was clear he wanted to wring Jerome’s neck, but was restraining himself.   
“Don’t you ever talk about her like that…she is no such thing. If I ever hear you talk like that again…I’ll…I’ll drag you right back to Arkham where you belong,” exclaimed Detective Gordon closing his eyes as soon as he finished speaking. He closed his eyes then as he slowly sat back down trying to control his temper. Jim didn’t know why, but when it came to Barbara he just lost it sometimes which didn’t even make sense seeing as he was with Lee now. Why did Barbara still affect him so? What he said didn’t bother Jerome in that moment, he knew he was just amped up over Babs, hell he would respond the same if someone called Addy a whore, but he felt as she started to tremble in his lap.   
“Jerome,” breathed Addison her voice cracking as tears gathered in her eyes, it was those tears that told Jerome how much Gordons words had scared his girl. Addison had lost him for a whole year, she had had to live without him, and Jerome knew she never wanted to do that again. Neither did he. He knew just by looking at her in that moment that her worst fear was losing him again. Jerome made her look at him as the detective sat there calming his nerves. He stared into her tear filled eyes and silently told her he wasn’t going anywhere. He would never leave her again. Holding her face in his hands then he brought her forehead to his telling her he loved her with just his eyes alone.   
“ I’m not ever leaving you ever again…I’m right here, and I always will be,” breathed Jerome peppering her face in kisses then her hands before kissing her lips with everything he had. Only then did Addison let go of his hand bringing it to cup his face as they kissed heatedly not caring that Gordon was right there.   
Detective Gordon watched them a moment before clearing his throat several times. It was clear they didn’t want to pay him any mind, but finally they broke apart giving him their full attention once more.   
“Sorry, but you scared my girl, Gordon, I had to calm her down,” smiled Jerome nuzzling Addy’s neck making her smile.   
“My apologies…I…Barbara’s a sore subject. I need to help her and you may be the only one who can help me,” whispered Detective Gordon for once in a way throwing himself at Jerome’s mercy.   
“I was just telling you the truth, Gordon, Babs is fucking Theo and his sister though I don’t know if the sister knows that. She was fucking Sionis in Arkham and anyone who could get her whatever she wanted. Hell, she tried to get in my pants, so she could be second in charge after me, but I wouldn’t touch her,” said Jerome as he finished speaking he looked at Addison bringing a hand to stroke her cheek.   
“I would never cheat on Addy and she’s all the woman I need,” smiled Jerome pecking her sweetly on the lips. As he kissed her his hand slid down her neck quickly grabbing her hand as the kiss ended. Gently he kissed each one of her fingers before intertwining them making Addy smile in response as he looked at Gordon again.   
“Why didn’t you all leave though after you broke out? Why won’t she leave?” exclaimed Detective Gordon making Jerome smile at him.   
“It wasn’t that easy, Gordon, Theo broke us out do you think he was just going to let us leave? How do you think Sionis wound up in the river? Anyone who tried to leave or was captured by the police was killed. We had no choice, but to stay,” said Jerome his voice turning completely serious a strange thing considering he never was.   
“I wanted to get the hell out of there, Jim, but Theo or his sister would have found me or…well they could have found my family. I couldn’t leave, Jim,” whispered Jerome mildly surprised when Jim nodded in response.   
“So you were kind of held hostage?” said Detective Gordon.  
“Exactly! It was either stay or die, but your girl she’s different. She also has an ulterior motive for staying. Jim…I’m going to be honest with you again…she wants you and your doctor friend dead, and Theo promised her she could kill you both herself when the time is right,” said Jerome watching as pure fear took over the detective’s face.   
“I thought Galavan just put her up to that performance at the Gala. I never thought she was a part of it,” whispered Detective Gordon more to himself than anybody else.   
“If I got rid of Galavan and his sister do you think that would get Barbara away?” said Detective Gordon looking at his hands under the table.   
“Yeah…it might get her back in Arkham, but Jim, she’s out of her mind. More than me she’s lost it. She is determined to see you and the good doctor dead. What do you plan to do about that because getting Galavan behind bars won’t fix that?” exclaimed Jerome in an effort to get his point across. He needed the detective to understand that the woman he once knew was gone. That she was replaced with someone who wanted nothing more than to see him in his grave. But he could tell that Gordon was stubborn. He wasn’t going to give up on Babs and looking at Addy he realized the two had something in common. She never gave up on him either.   
“You let me handle that,” said Detective Gordon standing up in that moment.   
“Thank you, Jerome, Addison. I’m sorry for bothering you, but you really helped me a lot,” said Detective Gordon turning to leave when Jerome’s voice stopped him. For the first time since placing her there, Jerome let Addison leave his lap as he stood up.   
“Hold it, Gordon, I’ll walk you out,” exclaimed Jerome approaching him quickly moving past him to the door.   
“No, Jerome…you can get back to whatever it was you were doing,” whispered Detective Gordon clearly uncomfortable once more.   
“No…I need a cigarette anyway…gets me in the mood if you know what I mean. Baby girl, I’ll be back as soon as possible don’t move,” called Jerome ushering the detective out of the door. Addison stood there then not listening as she moved back to the bedroom to prepare for his return. She knew Jerome wanted to say something more to the detective and he didn’t want her to hear. But that didn’t bother her. He would tell her when he was ready like he always did. Outside Jim finally got the hint as the trailer door closed, Jerome wanted to say something to him, but he didn’t want to say it in front of Addison. The second that door closed Jerome was on him. He got in Gordon’s face and stared in down making it clear whatever he had to say was very important. For a moment Jim found himself slightly scared of Jerome again.   
“If you start trying to get to Galavan…is it going to lead back to me? I don’t want him to find out I’m alive…He’ll come for me, Gordon, and he’ll hurt my family. I have to protect them,” growled Jerome clearly scared and incensed by the whole idea of such a thing happening. Jim knew how much Jerome loved his family and truth be told he liked the group. He didn’t want anything to happen either, but he couldn’t say that it wouldn’t. All Jim could do was try to prevent it.   
“He won’t get to them, Jerome, don’t worry. I wouldn’t let that happen,” said Detective Gordon firmly.   
“Yes…well…neither will I. Now can you keep me a secret from him or not,” exclaimed Jerome his hands balling into fists. In that moment he could see nothing, but blood in his mind. He saw Addison, Oliver, Charlie…his siblings, dead on the floor. He saw them cut open like Sionis had been and it made him want to kill Galavan and that bitch sister of his. They would not hurt the ones he loved; he wouldn’t let them. He loved them and he would keep them safe even if it meant killing again. He didn’t want to, but he would if it meant they would be okay. Nothing else mattered to him, but them. He didn’t care if he got sent back to Arkham, if someone tried to hurt his family it would be worth it. Any price would be worth paying if it meant his family was alive and safe right here where they belonged.   
They stood there in that moment as Jerome stared him down. He just stared waiting for an answer, but Jim never gave one. The detective only stood there in complete silence and the longer the silence lasted the more scared Jerome became.   
“No, Jerome, I can’t promise that,” said Detective Gordon.   
“That’s what I thought…so if Galavan does find me and try to hurt my family don’t expect me to just sit there. I will protect my family, if Galavan tries to hurt them or Addy, I will kill him. Him and his sister and anyone else involved,” exclaimed Jerome his entire body shaking just at the thought.   
“Jerome,” said Detective Gordon sternly.   
“I have to, Gordon, if it comes down to it…I have to do what I have to do,” said Jerome simply. The two only stared at each other than as Jim processed everything Jerome had just said. He knew it was so much more than a warning; Jerome was trying to help him understand him. Understand the deep love he held for his family and the girl waiting for him inside the trailer. It made Jim think that maybe they weren’t so different after all. At the end of the day he would do the same thing. In fact he could remember doing exactly what Jerome planned on doing should the time come.   
Reaching into his wallet then Jim didn’t know why, but he handed Jerome a hundred bucks.   
“Happy Birthday,” whispered Detective Gordon before walking away. Jerome watched him drive away before going back into the trailer. When he did he was instantly puzzled because Addison wasn’t there.   
“Addy?” called Jerome coming to stand by the table where he had left her. He felt her then; she came up behind him wrapping her arms around him as her lips found his ear.   
“Is he gone?” whispered Addison trailing her hands down his sides stopping at his waist.   
“Yes,” whispered Jerome wanting to turn around, but knowing from her grip that she didn’t want him to yet.   
“Let’s pick up where we were,” purred Addison running her tongue over his sensitive ear as she slipped her hands into his pants. Her hands didn’t hesitate to grab him stroking him just the way he liked.   
“Addy,” growled Jerome feeling as her hands left him telling him he could face her. Nothing was said then as Addison took his hand giving him a single kiss before leading him into his bedroom once more.


	32. Finally

The second Addison had led Jerome into the bedroom he didn’t have time to say a word before the door was closed and his back hit the bed. Suddenly she was on him, her lips dominating his, her hands wrapped around him, and her body covering his as she straddled him. It felt amazing, it felt meant to be, and wonderful. Her love for him was clear in that moment as she held him down with her body and Jerome couldn’t help it as his own heart swelled with love for her.  
“We’re not answering that door again…I don’t care who is knocking,” whispered Addison in between fevered kisses. Their lips kept colliding as they shared the same air. All Jerome found himself nodding in response as he kissed her back. He didn’t want to answer the door to Gordon, but he didn’t bring that up. Now was not the time all he wanted was this moment with her. He had been waiting too long. That was why he held her against him so tight deepening the kiss. That kiss was not none known to man, it was tender yet powerful, passionate yet slow, and Jerome knew it was because he was sharing it with her. If it had been with anybody else it wouldn’t have been the same. That was another reason why he only wanted her; he couldn’t have this anyone else. But then the kiss ended before he was ready for it to. It was as his arms were pulling her closer that her lips left his. Addison looked down at him then and in that moment she was looking at him in a way he could never really describe. He silently loved it as he stared right back, but just as he was moving to kiss her again he found her moving down the length of his body. Before he knew what to do she had already gotten him out of his pants throwing them out of sight.   
“Addy, what are you doing?” whispered Jerome getting the answer seconds later when she fell to her knees on the floor between his legs.   
“Baby girl,” breathed Jerome rising on his elbows to watch her begin to work her over her hand gently running over his cock.   
“Sorry, baby…I just don’t want any more interruptions, but I’ll stop if you want,” pouted Addison giving him a coy smile.   
“Don’t you dare,” exclaimed Jerome making her laugh before her tongue licked the precum from his head. Jerome made a sound at the back of his throat in that moment that quickly turned into more as she took his head into her mouth. The feel of it made his head spin his back hitting the bed again. His eyes closed and Jerome merely concentrated on the pleasure his girl was giving him. Addy knew exactly what to do to make him happy. She knew how to suck him just right as her fingertips moved along his shaft. It was like she was tracing all the veins slowly sliding her mouth over him more and more. Addison could hear him moaning and it made her tingle with her own pleasure. She liked making him happy and right now she could feel just how happy she was making him.   
Looking up at Jerome, she met his gaze as he rose to watch her once more, and only then did she move her hand down.   
“Addy,” exclaimed Jerome grabbing the back of her head. Addison had slid her hand down cupping his balls before caressing them tenderly taking nearly all of him into her mouth in that same moment. It was magnificent; it took everything for Jerome to keep his eyes open. He wanted to close them and just enjoy the moment. But another part of him didn’t want to take his eyes off her.   
“Look at me, Addy. I want to see you,” whispered Jerome immediately making her gaze meet his a moan leaving him as she took even more of him into her mouth gagging herself as his fingers entered her hair.   
“Oh fuck, baby girl…so good,” breathed Jerome his hips beginning to buck her hands gripping his thighs in a useless attempt to keep him still. It was impossible the keep him still and bobbing her head Addy brought him closer to the edge. Her pace was fast and with each bob of her head she knew he would come any second now. And then it happened before Addy was fully ready for it Jerome spilled into her mouth making them both moan though for different reasons as he did so.   
“Addy…yes, yes, yes,” exclaimed Jerome nearly screaming it his back still against the bed as she swallowed him down. Letting him slip from her mouth, Addison watched him in the aftermath, Jerome there on the bed his hands gripping the sheets, his eyes wide open, and his breathing heavy.   
It made her smile as she moved back up his body kissing a path up all the way back to his lips. Addison waited for his eyes to open and when Jerome’s arms encircled her she leaned heavily against his chest. Slowly she brought a hand to kiss his cheek and not taking her eyes off him Addy kissed him. It wasn’t heated or passionate; it was just a simple kiss, but for them it was so much more. Because it was them, Jerome and Addy.   
“Happy Birthday,” breathed Addison making him smile moving his lips as if to say something, but not getting the chance. Addison kissed him again before he could and this time it wasn’t simple. This kiss had that heat, that passion that the one before it had lacked. Addison ran her tongue over his lips seeking entrance and getting it immediately. She devoured him, she loved him, and he knew it. When it ended Addison gave him a tiny peck of a kiss before pulling away fully. They looked at each other once more and sharing the same air they both knew what they wanted. And they didn’t want to wait anymore.   
“Ready for your present?” smiled Addison running her hands down his chest before he caught her hand in his.   
“I’ve been begging all day for it, Addy, of course I’m ready,” whispered Jerome kissing the palm of her hand. But he didn’t stop there. His lips moved to her fingers kissing each one then the back of her hand before stopping to look at her. Placing her hand over his heart Addy smiled down at him because in that moment that was all the answer she needed.   
“Alright then,” whispered Addison pulling him into another deep kiss before slowly sliding off the bed. At first he tried to keep her from leaving him, but when she managed to get free he decided to just see what she would do. Jerome watched her and the second her hand touched the ties of her robe he knew what was about to happen. Just the thought of it brought a big smile to his face.   
Slow and seductive Addy removed her robe then her gown until standing naked before him she wore only a smile. Jerome let his eyes run over her in that moment, she was beautiful; she was more than beautiful; she was his. Addy was to him the sexiest, most ravishing girl he had ever laid eyes on, and looking at her with a loving hunger in his eyes Jerome knew that would always be true. When she stood naked before him, Jerome whistled making her laugh as she straddled him once more.   
“You are so beautiful,” whispered Jerome his hands moving to caress her skin from her ass up before suddenly she had him down on the bed. Her lips peppered over his neck as her hands splayed out on his chest. Nipping him she left her mark in the same moment as her fingers began to caress his ultrasensitive nipples and Jerome found himself closing his eyes wanting to stay with her in that moment for the rest of his life.   
“Addy,” whispered Jerome his hands gripping her ass part of him wanting to slide her down to right where he wanted her.   
Jerome let her have her way with him though. He decided he didn’t want to rush this moment with her, not after everything they had been through. So he simply laid there and enjoyed the moment. As one hand still moved over his nipple pinching it just slightly Addison let her other hand continue down his torso.   
“Oh fuck, baby girl, yes,” hissed Jerome peering into her eyes. Addison took his cock into her hand slowly working him over once more smiling when he hardened almost immediately. She never had to try too hard to get him worked up for her.   
“Ready, baby or do you want to wait a little longer,” whispered Addison only teasing him, but feeling as his hands immediately found her waist.   
“Is that a yes?” purred Addison before he pulled her down to his lips in a searing kiss.   
“I’ve been ready for hours,” whispered Jerome letting her gently guide his cock to her entrance. A moan escaped them both as he slid inside her. They moved slow neither in a rush for this moment to be over. They wanted this moment to last forever, but they also wanted him to be inside her as soon as possible. When he was, they didn’t move as his arms engulfed her, his head against her chest as she held him there.   
“God…you feel so good,” gasped Jerome into the skin of her chest. He looked up into her eyes then his smile slowly growing as he basked in the brilliance that was her. Gently he kissed her shoulder then before nuzzling the skin of her neck as her hands curled into his hair pulling him back to look at her once more.   
“So do you, baby…we seem to fit just right,” breathed Addison smiling with him as he got her meaning. They let their lips meet then their lips dragging over each other with tiny sounds in-between. The kiss soon deepened as he took her face in his hands a loud moan suddenly leaving them both. As they kissed Addy had begun to ride him the way he had always liked her hips moving fast, but yet not so fast that she lost control. Every move she made was planned and precise and each move felt so good to them both tiny sparks of something that could never really be described was shooting through them.   
Jerome quickly joined her, his hips snapping forward to meet hers.   
“Jerome,” exclaimed Addison her head falling back as her back arched. They were perfect in their rhythm each movement perfectly set to match. Jerome would move his hips up with a snap and Addy would grind her body down on his. Jerome would move her hips down on him harder and she would use his hair to bring her his lips. They knew each other so well it was just natural for them to move in sync this way. When Addison moved her hands to his shoulders he didn’t notice until she used them. Suddenly Jerome found himself flat on the bed as she rode him hard a scream leaving her lips before they collided briefly with his own.   
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Addy, yes. Just like that,” exclaimed Jerome his head falling back against the bed as he watched her smile down at him.   
Addison like this would always be his favorite sight. She was beautiful, always beautiful, but times like this even more so. Addison was his queen lying on top of him bringing him pleasure only she was capable of. She was his love and he always knew himself lucky to be able to say that. He couldn’t help thinking that as she intertwined their fingers moaning as she moved over him.   
“Jerome,” breathed Addison their teeth clacking as they fell into a fiery kiss both their heart’s pounding as she came for the first time. Jerome held onto her as he felt her clench around him. Their lips parted for only a second allowing her to breath before he closed the distance between them once more his tongue plunging into her mouth almost immediately. He loved kissing her almost as much as he loved making love to her. Her lips were sugary sweet and he loved tasting them. Moans left them both still as Jerome continued to move inside her. He could feel her melting in his arms, but yet she was still moving right along with him just a little bit slower. But despite that the passion of the moment didn’t leave them.   
“I love you,” whispered Addison laying fully on top of him now. They continued to make love laying chest to chest his hands on her back caressing it like smooth silk as his lips nibbled her neck.   
“Addy?” breathed Jerome looking at her a silent question there as he came closer to his own release.   
“It’s your birthday do as you please,” smiled Addison accepting a kiss as soon as the words left her mouth. He didn’t have to ask or really speak at all. She knew what he wanted and she always gave him what he wanted. And she always would. What she didn’t expect was the speed at which he would move after it was clear she had said yes.   
“Jerome!” exclaimed Addison seconds later as he flipped her with no further word onto her back.   
Her hands splayed out on his lower back as she looked up at him with a tiny smile.   
“You certainly didn’t waste any time,” whispered Addison feeling as he pulled her legs tighter around him.   
“You never know how much time we have left, Addy, with our luck someone could knock on the door again at any moment,” whispered Jerome before claiming her lips. As the kiss progressed he started to make love to her again. Her hands left his back to grip the red strands of his hair, but that didn’t hurry him. Jerome moved slowly not wasting a moment. It was the kind of sex that he could only envision with her. Her, his guiding star and he knew as he made love to her that he needed her. For she was the love of his life and in all actuality the only love he had ever known, but that didn’t matter to him because he didn’t want to know any other. He only wanted her.   
“Jerome,” gasped Addison gripping him tightly as she buried her face in his neck.   
“ Addy,” growled Jerome feeling her lips against his neck before watching as he head fell back in a second orgasm as his lips scoured her neck. As his lips sucked one nipple into his mouth he felt her nails digging into his scalp in her pleasure. As his hips moved faster fucking her through her release a loud scream of his name left her. The sound of it made him shiver; he loved it so much as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. And then his lips left her puckered peaks as he just made love to her his head falling to her chest as he did. He couldn’t help, but think in that moment that he would never forget this moment with her.   
“I love you more than anything, Addy, you’re my girl, and you always will be,” breathed Jerome into her skin as he made love to her still. He looked at her then his own release so close and smiling at her closed eyes still basking in their pleasure he changed his pace.   
“Oh fuck, Jerome,” squealed Addison her back arching as he slammed hard inside her as her eyes popped open.   
“I’ll be the only one ever doing this to you, Addison Maddux…you are mine, and I love you,” said Jerome languidly. He gripped her hips in that moment like his life depended on it. His tongue returned to caressing her hard peaks and the look in his eye told Addison he meant every word.  
“I love you too, baby…I don’t want anybody else,” whispered Addison moaning as he found her clit beginning to play with it. He never wanted to stop touching her, stop loving her; stop having her right there by his side. This continued until suddenly Jerome could hold back no more.   
Jerome came with a cry that most of Gotham could have heard, but muffling it in Addy’s chest he soon felt as she pulled him to her. As he came though he couldn’t help, but think that with any other woman this wouldn’t be possible. No one did it for him, but his Addison. Addison soon pulled his lips to hers and as pleasure surged through his body they kissed lazily.   
“I love you,” they whispered in the same moment Jerome slowly coming down from his high.   
“Goddamn, baby girl…this was the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” whispered Jerome making her laugh as she held him in her arms.   
“You know…when I was away…in Arkham…I used to dream about you. About us like this and I never thought it would be this way again. I’m really glad it did,” said Jerome suddenly looking at her a look of relief on his face. It was like in that moment he was afraid it all wasn’t real. That he would wake up to find this all another dream. That he would wake up still in his cell in Arkham and the truth was that was what he was afraid of. And in that moment Addison knew that that was why she kissed him with all she was worth in that moment.   
“You’re not dreaming…you know that right?” said Addison making him look at her.   
“Sometimes I’m not so sure,” breathed Jerome having trouble looking at her in that moment his eyes closing as he pinched himself hoping when he opened his eyes again she would still be there. When his eyes finally opened he still didn’t look completely sure. It made Addison kiss him again. She wanted him to know that this wasn’t a dream. Everything was okay, she was here, and she was never letting him go ever again. As she kissed him though Jerome couldn’t help remembering times of the past.   
He remembered Arkham lying in his cell picturing her face in his head. How he would talk to her even though she wasn’t really there. How when he had to admit that to himself he would have to hold back tears. He remembered always thinking of her even when he shouldn’t have. Sitting in the wreck room with his little group not paying attention to the conversation because she was on his mind. When all he wanted was for her to appear even if in his imagination so he could throw her onto the nearest table and whisper his love to her as he fucked her. He even remembered writing letters to her that he never sent because he was too afraid to never receive a reply. Times when he would think about making love to her and long for her more than food, water, and air. Times when he would long for home, for when he thought of home it was always Addy he thought of. Addison Maddux, his soulmate, the owner of his heart, and his home. That would always be what she was. She was his home.  
“Addy…in there I always thought of you. I dreamed of you every single night. Dreams where we were just like this and everything was alright, but then I’d wake up. I’d still be in that place and you have no idea how close I would come to crying. I missed you so much and sometimes I’m so afraid I’m going to wake up to find this all a dream. I thought I was never going to see you again. I never want to feel like that again,” cried Jerome burying his face in her chest as her arms engulfed him. He felt as she kissed his head then letting him cry before suddenly she made him look at her. Holding his face in her hands, she wouldn’t let him look away; it was only then that Jerome realized she was shaking as she held in her own tears. Tears slowly gathered in Addison’s eyes in that moment one slowly leaving to slide down her cheek.   
“I love you so much…this isn’t a dream, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I’m not letting you go anywhere…I love you too much,” whispered Addison her own face covered in tears now, but neither of them cared as they melted together in a kiss. That was all they did in that moment as Jerome wrapped her tight around him.   
“I’m holding you to that,” breathed Jerome making her smile as she kissed him once more.   
“Good because that’s what I want you to do,” smiled Addison holding onto him tighter to prove her point.   
“I love you,” they whispered again smiling as they said it at the same time. They would be together forever they both knew that in that moment. As boyfriend, girlfriend, lovers, and someday husband and wife. They both knew someday that would be their future.


	33. Let's Play

“Addy?” whispered Jerome his voice calling out to her in the dim darkness of the bedroom making Addison crack her eyes open not remembering when she fell asleep. As she woke up she couldn’t see Jerome, but she could hear the quiet sound of his breathing. She couldn’t see him, but she could feel him that same breath against her skin as his lips kissed her skin his voice low as it reached her. Just knowing he was there made her smile.   
“Are you awake yet, baby?” whispered Jerome lining her shoulders with delicate kisses.   
“I wasn’t, but now I am. I guess you couldn’t wait?” whispered Addison laying on her stomach still, but suddenly trying to move to her back. She wanted to see him, to look at him something that after everything they had been through would never get old. But Jerome had other plans.   
“Not yet baby…I want to keep you this way…to have you just like this,” breathed Jerome his voice almost a growl as he ran his hands over the curve of her back.   
The second he did Addison hummed knowingly, for when he did that it was always a sign telling her exactly what he wanted.   
“Feeling frisky, are we?” gasped Addison feeling as he kissed up her back to the base of her neck letting her know he wanted to play, their way. Jerome wanted to play their way which was always a little rough a little soft, and as he attacked her skin more Addison smiled because she was perfectly willing.   
“Always, I’m frisky and ready for round two…how about you, baby?” exclaimed Jerome smiling into her skin making her turn her head to do the same.   
“It’s more like round five for us, J,” said Addison making him laugh their eyes finally meeting. Keeping one hand on her hip, Jerome brought their faces together bringing his other hand to stroke her cheek before bringing his lips to hers. Afterwards he continued his ministrations and Addison laid there silently waiting for his orders.   
“You can have whatever you want…I’ll never say no,” breathed Addison. As she spoke she felt Jerome spread her legs as his hands caressed her ass. He was teasing her and as much as she hated it she also loved it. She missed him being like this with her and as she felt his kisses continue she could feel him secretly breathing her in telling her that he had to. It was in that moment that she felt Jerome’s hard member press against the swell of her ass.   
“That is one of the many reasons I love you,” breathed Jerome guiding her onto her hands and knees.   
“Jerome,” moaned Addison feeling him behind her his hands sliding down her back tickling her just slightly letting her know where he was going. Jerome let his fingers continue down until her was cupping her pussy in his hand making both their breath hitch. Addison waited for him to do something, but he didn’t until suddenly he did. Sliding a finger inside her he was once again only teasing, but then she felt his thumb brush her clit making her gasp as she worked to stay elevated on her hands and knees.   
“God, Jerome…stop teasing already. I’m ready,” whimpered Addison hearing him chuckle. He knew he had her all worked up and as much as he wanted to continue seeing her like this got him all worked up too. She was so hot when she was like this. With that thought, Jerome prepared to be inside her enjoying the sound of her moans as he did. As he did Addison was preparing too. She knew Jerome would enter her when she least expected it. That he would slide inside her and she would love it. And even as she prepared for that sensation that she loved she wasn’t ready because suddenly she was full. Jerome entered her suddenly and letting her head hang low Addison held in her scream even as Jerome didn’t. Biting her lip, Addison could feel as he stayed there inside of her, his hands digging into her hips as they both enjoyed this time, this connection between the two of them. Jerome started to move then his movements hard and fast and as Addy continued to hold in her screams suddenly he stopped. He still held her hips his cock still deep inside her, but he didn’t move. Suddenly with a groan his forehead met her back and kissing her skin he said something, but it was too low for her to hear. So, he kissed up to her shoulder and leaning close to her ear Jerome repeated himself.   
“Scream, baby…kids are gone there’s no reason for you to be so quiet. I want to hear you scream,” exclaimed Jerome kissing her shoulder once more as he sat up beginning to move again harder and faster this time until he got what he wanted.   
“Jerome!” exclaimed Addison gripping the top of the bed for all she was worth their bodies moving in time with each other.   
“That’s it, baby…scream for me,” growled Jerome his hands moving from her waist to her breasts. Jerome took them into his hands playing with them for only a moment before using them to pull her back to his chest.   
“Have I ever told you how much I love these breasts? They are just, so perfect, they fit, so right in my hands. They’re perfect for me just like you, baby,” whispered Jerome his lips right next to her ear.   
“Jerome,” moaned Addison his words fueling her as her head fell back nearly laying on his shoulder.   
Jerome moaned in unison with her as he pulled her tighter into the grip of his arms. One arm went secure around her waist holding her to him as his other hand grabbed her breasts playing with it in time with his movements as his face buried itself in her neck leaving his mark. This was how it had always been with them.   
“Jerome…Jesus, I love you,” whispered Addison turning her head to look at him her fingers curling into his hair using it to make him look back. They peered into each other’s eyes and when he slammed hard inside her she tugged harshly at his hair making his eyes go black in response. It made her moan just at the sight her own eyes already black doing the same to him. Their eyes met each sparkling into the other and then Jerome smashed his mouth down to hers.   
“I love you, baby,” gasped Addison into the kiss her body nearly melting into his before suddenly with a single thrust she came.   
“Damn, Addy,” whispered Jerome tenderly placing his forehead against hers.   
“I love you,” whispered Jerome still moving inside her their connection still there.   
“I love you, so much,” whispered Jerome.  
“Oh, J…not as much as I love you,” breathed Addison looking at him in that moment slowly kissing him.   
“Addy,” gasped Jerome suddenly stilling inside her as he came his mouth leaving her, but just barely their noses still touching as he stared transfixed at her.   
They stayed like that just staring at each other. Addison wouldn’t look away, she knew he needed her to look back until he came down from his high. And as he looked at her Addison silently wondered what he was thinking or seeing. What he saw in her when he looked at her the way he did? Sometimes she wanted so badly to ask, but she never had the heart. That, and she was afraid of the answer, but letting that slip away she only looked at him again that question buried away in her mind. Jerome was lowering her down to the bed, his body still covered hers as she rolled to her back. Her hands immediately engulfed his face as he peered down at her and she felt it. His face was wet with tears and looking at him she frowned because she didn’t understand why he was crying. They were so happy not minutes ago.   
“Jerome…what is it, baby? Did I do something?” whispered Addison bringing him closer to her their foreheads touching.   
At first, he only started to cry more, but then she felt his kisses on her hand. His eyes peered down into hers and then a smile though somewhat small appeared on his face. It set her fears aside.   
“They’re happy tears,” whispered Jerome. He placed his hands over hers in that moment his forehead touching hers. Gently he kissed her. Addison could feel it in his kiss just how much he loved her.  
“I love you…I’m so lucky to have you,” said Jerome falling into her arms.


	34. Tempted

When both of them could breathe again, Addison and Jerome finally left the bedroom finding that they still had the house all to themselves. After cutting a piece of Addy’s cake for them to share they only returned to the bed. Lounging there quietly feeding each other cake they didn’t say anything though Addy was thinking enough for them both. Addy laid her head on his shoulder as he fed her a piece of cake and looking at Jerome the conversation with Detective Gordon ran through her head.   
“He turned that woman down,” thought Addison still watching him her smile unable to hide itself as she thought of that picture of Barbara Kean that she had seen in the paper with all the others when Jerome had escaped; she had been so beautiful, more beautiful than Addison herself was, and yet he had still turned her down. He really did that that thought alone brought so many thoughts to mind. Had Galavan offered him other women, whores off the street, and if he did, did that mean he turned them down too? Those questions had her so deep in thought that Addison didn’t realize she had been caught. Jerome had noticed her unabashedly staring at him and now he was unabashedly staring back. When Addison did realize that though she broke eye contact with him, but when she heard Jerome’s signature chuckle she looked up into his eyes a timid smile gracing her lips. He smiled back at her bringing his lips to kiss her head.  
“You know, there have been times when you were gone that I questioned everything we had. Questioned whether you loved me or not, if what we had was real, but now that I know. That I know you turned that woman down I realize how wrong I was to do that. You turned that woman down when she made advances on you, you didn’t cheat on me when you could have, and that more than anything had shown me just how much you love me. You turned her down…you really turned her down,” whispered Addison tears forming in her eyes as she leaned into his touch. As she finished speaking Addison looked up into his eyes seeing that everything she had said affected him greatly and touching his cheek she didn’t let him pull away. But he didn’t anyway Jerome moved closer kissing her forehead once more. Addison was waiting, waiting to see what he would say, but with that kiss she knew he wasn’t ready. A lot was going through his mind, she could tell that by the silence that engulfed them, and she decided to just let it be until he was ready she simply waited. Jerome only continued to feed her cake and she let him knowing without knowing that he was thinking of that time in his life. When he wasn’t her Jerome, but another that she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. With that thought, Addison found herself staring up at him again, but this time Jerome didn’t stare back. He was consumed by his own thoughts, but nonetheless he could feel her eyes on him. And only when he could take it no more did he look back.   
“Why did you turn her down, Jerome? I know part of it was because you love me, but…you thought you’d never see me again. I wouldn’t have been mad at you if you did. I understand that you have needs…that you might have wanted to,” said Addison staring right into his eyes. But as soon as the words left her mouth Addison looked away. Staring intently down at her hands, Addison played with her fingers nervously waiting for his answer. Part of her was so afraid of what it would be.   
She continued to play with her fingers until suddenly Jerome grabbed her hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it before bringing it to touch his face.   
“You’re all I need, Addy,” whispered Jerome leaning into her touch the very words he spoke drawing her eyes back to his.   
“What would I want with her anyway…blondes really aren’t my type,” breathed Jerome setting the cake aside without breaking eye contact both their bodies turning towards each other.   
“Good to know, but I’m serious, J. You had to be tempted,” whispered Addison hiding a smile behind a very fake pout. Jerome only responded by moving closer his forehead touching hers. Her hand was still touching his cheek and sliding it down to the back of his neck Addison only peered into his eyes waiting for an answer. Part of her wasn’t sure he’d give her one while another was sure he would.   
“We were never gonna see each other again. Some would say it wouldn’t be cheating that we were over. I would have understood…if you saw another girl that you wanted to,” breathed Addison before Jerome’s lips crashed down on hers stopping her.   
“It still would have been cheating to me. You were still my girl, my love, and as far as I was concerned we were still together. It would have been cheating on you…to me…and even though you say you would have understood…and I know you wouldn’t have been mad I also know you wouldn’t have been able to look at me the same. I still don’t understand how you can look at me the same way after everything else I’ve done, but I’m glad you do and me fucking some other woman would have changed the way you’re looking at me right now. I love you, Addy, and as long as I do I will never be able to touch anyone else no matter what happens between us,” exclaimed Jerome this time having his sentence end when she attacked his lips. She kissed him as if her life depended on it and when she was done she took his face in her hands staring into his eyes. Somehow, he always found a way to make her love him more than she thought she already did. Their foreheads touched once more and neither of them said anything. They didn’t need to because in that moment their eyes said it all.   
“I love you, Addy. I don’t need anything else. I just need you. Making love or fucking or whatever we want to call it in this situation wouldn’t feel right with anyone else. We have a connection, a love that no one else can match,” said Jerome making her finally look away from him a tear leaving her eyes that he wiped away. He would never understand why whenever he said something sweet she cried anyway. He much preferred when she smiled.   
“You didn’t answer me though, Jerome. Does that mean you weren’t tempted?” said Addison a stray laugh leaving her. As the question left her lips for the second time, Addison looked up at him again, and Jerome saw that she needed a definite yes or no answer. She needed to know that she was it for him and that she was all he wanted. That he would never get bored with her.   
“No. The answer is no Addison. You should know by now that you’re the only one that does it for me. That and I prefer brunettes…beautiful light skinned brunettes,” whispered Jerome making her smile as she used the hand that held the back of his neck to pull his down into a kiss. It was over in less than a second, but nonetheless he got the hint. She appreciated the sentiment of what he just said and she appreciated it even more because she knew he spoke the truth. Jerome didn’t let it end there though because the next thing she knew he was on top of her on the bed his lips covering her in kisses.   
“God if you aren’t the sexiest thing in this world to me, Addy. You are so perfect, so beautiful with your skin that is so soft so perfectly sun kissed, and your eyes that see right through me. I look into them and I see my own reflection and you have no idea how much I love that…how much I missed that when I was gone. I love you, Addy, everything about you from you incredibly too tiny toes to your sexy long legs that fit so good around me. I love everything that is you, baby girl, and as long as I do no one else will ever do it for me. I love you, Addison, only you,” exclaimed Jerome peppering kisses over every inch of her the entire time he spoke until suddenly he stopped taking her face in his hands to just peer down at her. For the longest time, he peered down at her and then he kissed her. His lips slanted perfectly over hers, her face fit perfectly in his hands, and looking down at her once more Jerome brought their heads together.   
“You and I are perfect for each other,” breathed Jerome making her smile gently pecking him on the lips feeling as her arms looped around his neck.   
“Only you, Addison…until death do us part…as cheesy as that may sound…that’s how I feel about it,” said Jerome wanting everything to be perfectly clear to her now. And it was. Addison understood now that he never would have been interested in Barbara Kean even if they hadn’t been reunited. Whether they were together or apart Jerome would always be faithful to her and Addison finally truly understood that. Just knowing that made Addison smile up at him.   
“I love you,” breathed Jerome smiling a smile that matched her own.   
“I love you,” said Addison. She kissed him then her hands moving down his back.   
“I don’t want you to ever forget that…but nonetheless that’s why I try to tell you every day because I want you to know,” whispered Jerome staring down at her. But the look in his eyes made her think. It held more than his love for her, there was a curiosity there that she found herself dying to know about. What caused that look? Even as she had the thought she knew what he was thinking. It was the same thing she had not minutes before.   
“Addy…while I was gone…did you ever think about moving on. You must have had offers…did you think about finding someone new?” said Jerome part of him understanding if she did while the other felt extreme jealousy over the thought of another guy touching her. Addison only peered up into his eyes at first her answer the same as his own. She never would have because to her it would have felt wrong, but looking at him she knew she didn’t need to say all of that. But finally, she found herself smiling up at him in answer her lips drawing closer to his until she was kissing him.   
“Only you, baby, otherwise my legs remain closed. I love you…and besides you’re the only catch within ten miles of this place,” breathed Addison both of them grinning like two maniacs as she finished speaking.   
“I think that’s true when it comes to both of us, baby girl,” breathed Jerome kissing her cheek as they sat up once more beginning to once again feed her cake as she did the same for him. Their eyes never leaving each other, they silently fed each other cake, and when they found the plate empty their lips met.   
“Again?” breathed Jerome letting his hands linger over her sides.   
“I’ll never know how you have the energy,” said Addison even as her legs were parting for him.   
“It’s all you, baby,” breathed Jerome capturing her lips. Addison eagerly returned his kiss her arms wrapping around his neck.


	35. Together as a Family

“It’ll be okay, baby. Just remember that we’re doing this to help all of us. The past year has been hell and we can’t keep it all bottled up,” said Addison as the clock struck midnight meaning that it was no longer Sunday, but Monday the day he had been dreading. He had wanted it to be his birthday forever, then he had wanted Sunday to never end, but all that was so unrealistic. Monday had to come. Jerome felt the nerves of it even in his sleep, he was so nervous to hear what his family had to say about him. Scared to see their pain, their anger, but most of all their fear. Those were all emotions he never thought anyone would feel towards him, but especially not them. Today was going to be the family therapy session his aunt had wanted.   
“They think you’re crazy too…they’re just afraid to say it…they’re afraid of you,” hissed his mother’s voice from inside his head making him think of his family and if maybe she was right. They had seen him kill people on TV, what if it all really was an act because they were all too scared to tell him how they really felt; Jerome just didn’t know. And that’s what really scared him. The last thing he ever wanted was the ones he loved to be afraid of him. What if they thought he was a monster? What if they feared him that he would kill them the way he had their mother? What if they didn’t see him as their Jerome anymore?   
Both of those questions scared him because they could change everything. They could change his entire future. That was why Jerome found himself alone in bed that morning, Addison had been gone when he woke up, but that didn’t worry him.  
“I’ll be here for the session, J, I won’t leave your side, I promise. I’ll stay here with you for as long as you need me,” whispered Addison that same night as he laid his head on her chest drifting off to sleep and he knew she meant that, so waking up without her didn’t worry him after all she was probably just outside the door. So, much was going through his mind he couldn’t get up until it all settled. But that didn’t happen that easy.   
“What if they are afraid of me?” thought Jerome in that moment staring up at the ceiling thinking of all the times since his return that they had told him they loved him and even though he knew they meant it he still worried that they didn’t see him the same. That they were hiding things, things that they knew would hurt him in order to protect him. Jerome wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t have done the same thing. He knew they would do anything for him as he would them and he knew sometimes that meant lying to the ones you love. But even as he knew that he didn’t want one of the lies he was being told to be that they were afraid of him. The truth was Jerome didn’t care if the rest of Gotham or the world was afraid of him, as long as his family didn’t fear him he would be fine. And if anyone else had done the things he’d done he knew he would be afraid, but even as he tried to rationalize everything none of it eased his mind. But still as much as he tried to understand, Jerome still didn’t want to find out they were scared of him. That they feared him.   
The thought of that scared him so bad Jerome felt that depression he could remember from within the walls of Arkham in his heart again. Part of him wanted to give up. He just wanted to lie in bed and let his life play out. But as he heard his family in the next room he knew that wasn’t an option. They wouldn’t let him just waste away even if they did fear him; that was one of the things that told him every day that they loved him. Sitting up in bed, Jerome swung his legs over the edge, and letting his head fall into his hands he groaned. What could be said today could change how he saw everything. He stayed just like that until he felt cool gentle hands in his hair. That was when he uncovered his eyes looking up into Addy’s soft understanding eyes and groaning again he buried his face in her stomach.   
Neither of them knew what to say or if anything even had to be said. Addison knew that in that moment words were not what he needed, he needed someone to simply be there. Someone to silently tell him that it was going to be alright and running her hands through his hair she tried to say that. She knew nothing would stop those thoughts that she knew were in his head. Words were simply useless in that moment. Addison knew that not until the session was over would those thoughts go away because only then would he hear what he needed to hear. That he wasn’t feared, but loved. That the only prevalent emotion they felt when they thought of the last year was not fear, but guilt. Only after the session could he ever begin to understand that. So, they remained silent. Jerome finally looked at her and as their eyes met Addison saw all his fears. She saw all his questions and looking down she knew she had no answers. And she gave no answers only looking down at him.   
“I love you I hope you know that,” said Addison saying it like he had many times to her like it was the only thing she knew to be a fact. In that moment, her hands left his hair trailing down to his face. He leaned into her touch and as he did Addison smiled the hint of a smile because she knew that was his answer. Jerome knew he was loved, but as their eyes stayed locked Addison knew that changed nothing. After all, in his mind, you could love someone, and fear them all at the same time.   
“I know…I love you too, Addy. I’m just nervous…I don’t know what to expect or what you’re going to say. I’m scared,” whispered Jerome his voice muffled as he buried his head in her stomach pulling her closer.   
After a moment, he kissed the place just above her belly button slowly letting his eyes drift back to hers.   
“It’s gonna be alright, J. Just know that no matter what is said here today that we love you. That we’re doing this for that reason. You know that…right?” said Addison.   
“I said I do…I just need to freak out a little, Addy. Until it’s all over I just need to freak out,” whispered Jerome pulling her closer in the same moment making her straddle his hips. Jerome looked at her then his eyes seeming to search for something. Addison knew that deep down he knew what she was trying to say and in that moment, she knew what he was trying to say too. He knew that they loved him, but at the end of the day that couldn’t just make his fear go away. Only time would do that. Addison also knew that he needed her to understand that as much as she needed him to know and never forget that he was loved.   
“Okay, baby…I just needed you to know. Everything’s going to be just fine…there is nothing to be nervous about…you’ll see,” whispered Addison kissing his forehead as she rose from his lap quietly leaving the room. As he watched her walk away, Jerome knew that she understood him in that moment. She knew he didn’t want her to explain away how he was feeling or tell him why he was feeling it. In that moment Jerome needed her to just listen to him and that’s what she did.   
Addison had done what he needed her to do and for that he loved her. Jerome dressed slowly when the time came for him to do so. He didn’t dress in anything specific or fancy he just pulled on a T-shirt and shorts before collapsing in bed. In his mind, there was no reason to leave his room or his bed until his aunt arrived. He would be to no good to anyone anyway. Not until Kristen arrived only then did he dare open his bedroom door. When he entered the room, he felt like he was walking into some sort of intervention.   
Everyone was staring at him the air in the room was very heavy only lessoning when his aunt approached him. She hugged him tight briefly kissing his cheek.   
“Happy Birthday, Jerome. I’ll give you your present as soon as we’re through. Take a seat and we’ll start and go at whatever pace is agreeable with everyone,” said Kristen giving him a gentle smile and a nudge closer to where everyone else sat. Jerome stood there a moment though quietly gathering himself. He didn’t feel ready for this moment, but he knew there was no getting around it. This was important, it was important he understand just what he’d put them through. Gently she moved him into the circle of his family only letting go to return to her place in that same circle.   
“It’s okay, Jerome. We’ll all here as a family to work through some things together,” whispered Kristen taking his hand once more. He knew she was trying to reassure him in that moment, but it wasn’t working. Not until someone else on the other side of him took his hand. And looking down Jerome found himself looking down into Addison’s eyes. She did it for only a moment, but it was enough to ease his mind.   
Jerome sat down his eyes still lingering on Addy. He needed her there and that’s why the second he sat by her side he grabbed her hand again. She was his strength and having her by his side made him stronger. At first, the whole room stayed dead silent, Kristen didn’t try to break it right away, but let it stay. In that moment part of her wondered if they needed that silence. But it couldn’t last forever. Kristen knew it had to end, she wasn’t sure who would end it or how it would end, but she knew it needed to end at some point. In the beginning though it seemed endless.   
“Alright, today as I said to Jerome we are coming together as a family. We are here to support each other and understand the pain we’ve all felt in the past. So, saying that I want you all to try not to be judgmental despite what any of us may say in these sessions,” said Kristen smiling reassuringly at anyone. She hoped someone would smile back, but none of them did. They all seemed so forlorn. None of them would look at her or Jerome; they all seemed just lost in their own thoughts.   
“Don’t be afraid of hurting me. I know I hurt all of you when I did what I did,” whispered Jerome. Those were the words that made every eye land on him.   
“Thank you, Jerome, I think that eased everyone’s minds. Now I want us to discuss how we felt when we found out what Jerome had done and that he was in Arkham. I don’t want anyone to hold back, if you have something to say please don’t be afraid,” said Kristen noticing in that moment that Charlie’s eyes were glued to her brother.   
“Charlie do you want to start?” whispered Kristen gently placing her hand over that of her niece.   
“It was the last thing I was expecting. I mean, I went to work and on my lunch break I see my brother…on TV labeled a murderer…and who did he murder, our mom. How do you react to that?” whispered Charlie staring down at her hands the whole time.   
When that was said Charlie looked at Kristen in search of a real answer.   
“What was I supposed to do. I didn’t know what to do…I mean my brother had killed our mom. I didn’t know how to respond to that or what I was supposed to do. I remember just being shocked…but also glad. Not glad because Jerome was in Arkham, but because she was dead. She couldn’t come back to ruin our lives anymore,” whispered Charlie part of her feeling ashamed for saying and feeling such a thing. Kristen wasn’t sure what to say to her in that moment for she found herself conflicted. While she understood why they all felt that way, Lila had still been her sister, and no matter what she did part of her would always love her as such. They hadn’t been close or seen each other in years, but she was her sister all the same. And as much as she understood how they felt, though sometimes she felt the same; she still wished things hadn’t ended for her the way they did.   
“I understand, Charlie…your mother put you all through so much. I think anyone in the same situation would feel the same,” whispered Kristen finding that was the only thing she could say. She had known a different Lila, one who wasn’t always so evil. That was the sister she preferred to remember.   
“Okay, well what about Jerome? What did you all think when you knew him to be the killer?” said Kristen.   
“Like Charlie, I was pretty shocked…I never thought Jerome could do something like that. We were all shocked…I mean I came here and no one was saying anything it was like someone had died. It was scary and later as it all sunk in I began to feel guilty. Like I should have done something to stop him from going to her in the first place. I almost went to Arkham just to see if he was okay, but Oliver wouldn’t let me. He said Jerome wouldn’t have wanted me anywhere near that place. Even now I wish I hadn’t listened to him,” said Addison tears moving down her cheeks as she spoke. Everyone else was crying too. She had said everything that needed to be said. She had summed up all their feelings and as Jerome looked at them all he felt the need to tell them not to be guilty, but he suddenly found he couldn’t speak. He could only stare at them all the words almost lodged in his throat.   
“She’s right. We should have done something to stop mom before. We should have stopped her, said no when she sent for Jerome every time she was in town,” said Oliver refusing to look at anybody just shaking his head the whole time.   
“I was the one raising all these kids…I should have told her no. I should have told her to stay away from us…to stay out of our lives,” whispered Charlie her eyes filled with tears as she suddenly broke down shaking her head as her head fell into her hands. Jerome reached across wanting to sooth his sister, but he stopped himself. He was the reason for this. Both him and his mother were. So, he didn’t move instead he just sat there watching as everybody else comforted her. Part of him, couldn’t help feeling relieved because they didn’t hate him or fear him. It was just as Addy had said; they loved him.   
They didn’t hate him or fear him; they loved him so much that they were blaming themselves. But he didn’t want that either.   
“You all have nothing to feel guilty about. What I did had nothing to do with anything you guys could have done differently. It was going to happen one way or another because mom just kept pushing us in that direction,” exclaimed Jerome his voice raising making everyone cry more even as they looked at him.   
“Jerome…we are here to listen not judge you,” began Kristen before he abruptly cut her off. She wasn’t getting it in that moment, he needed to say this, and she wasn’t going to stop him.   
“No, I don’t want anyone trying to take the blame for what I did. I killed mom, me, no one else. It was bound to happen, she was nothing, but a cruel hearted bitch. She was going to die…I just happened to be the one to make her die. I don’t want any of you blaming yourselves, there’s nothing you could have done,” whispered Jerome holding onto Addy’s hand like an anchor.   
“Jerome…we’re a family. You shouldn’t have been put in that situation in the first place…if you hadn’t been forced into that…then none of this would have happened. Maybe mom would still be dead, but you wouldn’t have done it. You would never have been sent to Arkham and you never would have met Galavan. Everything would be different if we’d done something for you,” exclaimed Oliver refusing to let his brother take all the blame. He would always wish he had done something. Wish that he had gone with Jerome or simply went himself. If he had Oliver wondered every day where they would all be right now.   
“No Ollie, that was all part of Jerome’s illness. No matter what if you went to visit Jerome in Arkham or anything else you could have done he most likely would have done the same things while with Theo Galavan,” explained Kristen. She let them all process that as she prepared to bring up everything Jerome had did under Theo Galavan’s influence. Even she thought that maybe Jerome would never had killed again if that man had never entered his life. He had taken advantage of Jerome’s mental instability for his own gains. He had used him and when he was done with him he had stabbed him in the neck. He had very nearly killed him. Theo Galavan was a huge catalyst for what Jerome had done which is why they couldn’t avoid talking about him.   
“What were your thoughts when you first saw Jerome on the television covered in blood at the police station?” said Kristen looking at each of them trying to gauge their response. For the first time in that moment she saw fear in their eyes. Fear not of Jerome, but of his actions. She knew that like her, it had made them question everything that they thought they knew.   
“I didn’t want to believe that was Jerome. That the person I knew, that I loved was on the screen doing those things,” whispered Addison her voice so low they all could barely hear her.   
“It was hard to believe that the person doing those things was the boy I’d known since I was nine. That my Jerome could do that…it made me wonder if he had ever been my Jerome. If I’d ever really known him or if it’d been an act. Suddenly I found myself questioning everything,” whispered Addison not looking at Jerome until she was just barely finished speaking. Their eyes met, Jerome saw the tears waiting to spill behind her eyes. Kristen watched them in that moment for the first time seeing the connection they shared. They didn’t need to say anything, they could simply look at each other, and understand. In that moment as she watched that she knew she needed to bring them out of the moment they were having, but she really didn’t want to.   
“If that was the case, why are you here now, Addison? What changed when Jerome came back?” whispered Kristen. They both looked at her in that moment coming out of the trance that was their moment. They looked at each other again then and they shared a smile. She really didn’t understand, but looking at her again they thought that maybe they could try to make her understand.   
“I love him,” began Addison in answer feeling as Jerome squeezed her hand.   
“I love him and when you love someone you take chances. I’ll admit to being a little scared…a little hesitant, but I love him. I almost lost him…Galavan could have killed him. That changed everything for me…he could have come to my doorstep after that prepared to kill me, I still would have been happy to see him,” exclaimed Addison scooting closer on instinct. It was in that moment that Kristen realized that everyone, including her, was crying.   
“That’s why we’re all still here, J. We almost lost you…there was a moment there when we thought we did,” whispered Oliver wiping the tears from his eyes.   
“I watched my baby brother get stabbed…they said you were dead,” exclaimed Charlie breaking down once more and this time Jerome didn’t hold back he moved quickly to hug her.   
“I think we’ve made a lot of progress. I knew that we were all effected by this, but now I see how much,” cried Kristen moving to hug Charlie as the other three did the same forming one big group hug.   
“We will definitely need more sessions like this,” whispered Kristen feeling as they only nodded. Nothing more was said; the session was effectively over. They had said all they needed to say for now at least and with that in mind Kristen looked at all of them out of the corner of her eye. She knew it would be a long time before their family was okay again.


	36. The First Pill is the Hardest

“Jerome, I know these will help you, but if you should start experiencing any side effects just let me know. I want you to take them twice a day with food, okay,” whispered Kristen pressing the three pill bottles into his hands. Jerome stared down at the orange bottles with the white labels already feeling sick to his stomach. Part of him didn’t trust those bottles or rather the pills inside of them. Part of him felt like they would change him, turn him into a shell of himself even before he killed his mother. And looking at his aunt he knew she meant well that she would never give him anything to hurt him at the same time as he knew that despite what everyone thought they couldn’t make him the same person he had been before he had done all those terrible things. Nothing could take that back, Jerome knew that, especially as he stared down at those bottles. He didn’t trust those pills there were just too many questions he still had about them. Would he change? Would he still be basically who he had always been or would it be as he feared? Would he be just some numb person walking around constantly doped up? That was why he looked at his aunt in that moment.   
“Will I still be normal…or will I be all drugged up?” said Jerome.  
His aunt pulled him into a hug in that moment an answering not yet leaving her lips. That was the last thing she or anybody wanted, they simply wanted their Jerome back, but if it meant he was walking around like a zombie then she would flush the pills down the drain herself. She didn’t want him suffering that way. And pulling away she touched his cheek gently shaking her head silently telling him no. No, he would not be all drugged up, and smiling she searched for the words to reassure him of that.   
“Jerome, we don’t want that…we don’t want you drugged up like that. These pills are meant to help you and I know they will…you just have to give them a chance. Give them time to work because, yes, you might feel strange or off at first, but that would happen with any medication. Your body is adjusting to them, but once it does you’ll feel just fine. Just give it time and then if that doesn’t happen I promise I’ll take you off them and find something else. Just give it a chance first,” exclaimed Kristen looking deeply into his eyes. Jerome didn’t say anything as he processed what she said and then looking at the pills again he nodded. He may not trust the pills, but he trusted his aunt that alone would make him give them a chance. As soon as he gave that nod something was being pressed into his chest.   
“I didn’t forget about your birthday,” whispered Kristen setting the pills aside, so he could open his present. Jerome didn’t say anything as he did only smiling when he pulled the gift free from the wrapping.   
“Wow…I love it. Thank you, Aunt Kristen,” whispered Jerome smiling as he looked over the sweater she had gotten him; she remembered how he always liked sweaters because he always got cold easy. The sweater was simple the way he liked them to be. It was a plain green color that wasn’t too bright, but dark like he liked. He loved it and could see himself wearing it as he set it aside moving to hug her tight. His aunt was one of the few people that always remembered what he liked. They sat there quietly then the meds the clear elephant in the room until suddenly Addison appeared in the doorway. Kristen moved to leave the room then stopping to hug Addison as she did.  
“I’ll be waiting outside,” said Kristen leaving them alone.   
Jerome was, as always, happy to see her. She always knew somehow when he needed her and looking at the pills still Jerome couldn’t deny that he did need her. Addy took his hand as she sat down by his side and laying her head on his shoulder nothing was said. Her eyes, like his, traveled to the pill bottles, and looking at them too she pressed her body firmly against his. Jerome pressed right back, for this was not a sexual thing, this was her merely telling him that she was there, and in that moment, he needed that. After a moment, Jerome laid his head against hers sighing as he finally took his eyes off the pills. He couldn’t look at them anymore, the longer he did the more the thought kept coming to him that soon he would have to take them. With that thought, Jerome looked at Addison, and he knew she knew what he was thinking.   
“I have to take these…but I’m scared to,” breathed Jerome his eyes never leaving hers. Addison took his face in her hands in that moment not saying anything still as she held his gaze. She simply looked into his eyes and let him do what he needed. She let him lean into her touch those bottles rolling onto the bed away from them, but not forgotten. They stayed like this for a while until turning his head Jerome stared at the bottles once more. Addison only took one bottle in her hand staring down at it in response.   
“You have to take them, J. You’re going to take them…everything’s going to be okay,” breathed Addison taking both his hands those pills in both their line of sight now.   
“Yeah…I just…she said that while I’m adjusting to the meds I’d feel kinda strange…that worries me,” said Jerome looking at her their foreheads touching.   
“Baby, you don’t need to worry. Just remember that you’re not alone in this, we’re all here for you. We’ll be right here by your side. We got you…I love you and I’ll be here,” whispered Addison his face still in her hands. Gently then she kissed him sealing that promise. When their lips parted then Jerome finally gave her a smile. Jerome peered into her eyes before touching his lips to hers he smiled, he knew that, but wrapping his arm around her he looked at the bottles.   
“What if you get sick of dealing with me or I prove too much for you? I don’t want this to be the reason I lose you…the reason I lose everyone,” whispered Jerome before her lips captured his shutting that idea down.   
“No, you could never be too much for me. Remember, baby, there isn’t anything we can’t do together, I love you, and I’ll take care of you. After all, if it were me, would you give up on me? Would you let me do this alone?” whispered Addison claiming his lips before he could answer.   
“I love you, Jerome…nothing will change that…not even those pills,” exclaimed Addison their lips barely parting.   
“It’s you and me…I love you too, Addy. I always want it to be that way…for it to be us,” gasped Jerome his breathing heavy as their lips parted. He kissed her sweetly then their heads touching afterward.   
“Don’t leave me tonight,” whispered Jerome Kristen’s words going through his mind even as Addy pulled away clearly wanting to give in to his request.  
“Kristen’s gonna give you a ride home, isn’t she?” said Jerome latching onto her hand.   
“Yes, I’m sorry, baby, but I have to go home tonight. I can’t stay…Nathan will come here after me this time…he wants me home, and if he should see you he’d send you back. I won’t be the reason for that…I won’t lose you again,” exclaimed Addison intertwining their fingers. She looked into his eyes in that moment her fear of that happening still heavy on her shoulders even after all this time. And Jerome knew she would always be afraid of that, afraid of him going back to Arkham, and losing him again. That was why he kissed her forehead in that moment knowing she needed the reassurance.   
“Besides, Archer comes back from his mom’s tomorrow…I need to be there,” whispered Addison touching his cheek hoping he understood. Jerome did, but that didn’t keep him from holding her so close. He knew now that his time with her was ending, at least for a little while, and he always hated sending her back to Nathan. She always came back with bruises. If he could have kept her there with him forever he would have. She was his to protect after all.   
“I’ll walk you home, tell Kristen to go ahead,” whispered Jerome.   
“Jerome…it’s too dangerous. If someone sees you…I won’t lose you again,” whispered Addison taking the pill bottles in her hands in that moment their eyes still locked. He knew she was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to be as he kissed her lips.   
“I’m not leaving until you take these pills though,” said Addison as their lips parted. Standing then she left the room returning with a glass of water and a plate with a slice of cake on it.   
“You have to take them with food,” said Addison setting the cake aside. One by one she helped him take the pills only handing him the cake when he had. Afterwards, Jerome laid in bed with her sitting by his side, and he felt his fears leave. Addy stayed with him until he fell asleep.


	37. Numb

For the first few weeks as he took the pills, Jerome found it was just as he feared it would be. Jerome felt like he was floating all the time. He felt not like himself, numb, and because of that he no longer said a word. He felt like he wasn’t really there anyway, so he didn’t see the point. It was exactly as he feared it would be; he was nothing, but a burden on his family. Jerome knew they would tell him differently. He knew they loved him that taking care of him wasn’t a problem for them, but it was a problem for him. Jerome hated having to depend on them the way he was. He hated needing them for the simplest things, but most of all he hated feeling like a burden. All he wanted was to feel normal again, to be himself again, but so far what Kristen said wasn’t happening. He hadn’t adjusted to the meds yet and seemed to be stuck in this eternal state of numbness. Jerome hated that he had to eat whenever he took his meds, but he had no appetite.   
The pills he took made him sick to his stomach and gave him headaches he could barely handle. That was why there were days he didn’t get out of bed. As much as a burden as he felt sometimes, Jerome had that reason to be grateful for his family, and for Addison for taking care of him. If they didn’t he was sure he would have stopped taking the pills a long time ago. He would have stopped just so his head wouldn’t pound, just so his stomach would feel normal again, but they kept him taking them twice a day, every day. If he didn’t he was sure he wouldn’t be able to handle any of it as well as he was. And that was just barely.   
“Here, baby…you have to eat,” Addison would whisper waking him up come dinner time and once he sat up she would give him his pill making sure he swallowed it before feeding him soup or any other type of food; she did that for him every day. And if Addy was at school or worse at home his siblings did the same. They were a united front taking care of him night and day. Jerome never had to worry about being alone because he knew at least Charlie, Addison or Oliver were always there. They loved him enough to sacrifice their lives that way.   
“Wake up, Bubba,” Charlie would whisper every morning so he could take his first pill of the day before she went to work along with breakfast then she always let him go right back to sleep kissing his forehead before disappearing behind his closed eye lids. Oliver would wake him up next. He was the one who didn’t like it if Jerome slept all day. The kids would help him wakeup jumping onto the bed until Oliver called them off helping Jerome dress. The day would then be spent watching Oliver play video games or outside watching the kids play as he sat slumped over not there even as he sat there. Getting up that second time wasn’t so bad though. Jerome liked hearing their voices even as he sat there not really there. He heard them in the back of his fogged mind and it was good to know they were there. Jerome liked how Chloe and Jackson pounced on him the second he emerged from his room. How they would hug him and tell him they loved him. It made him feel like less of a burden. Jerome’s days more than anything were always the same. He slept, he woke up, he sat there in a daze. All he ever felt other than his families love was that numbness. That nothingness that enclosed his body and he hated it. He just wanted this part of his life to be over, to be adjusted to the meds, but apparently as Kristen told him when she came to visit; it wasn’t that easy. Kristen always said it would be over soon, but Jerome was really starting to think that she was wrong the longer the numbness lasted.   
“J, baby…I missed you,” Addison would tell him as soon as she saw him when she arrived always kissing him when she saw him; Jerome always managed a tiny smile when he first saw her that made her smile back.   
The sight of Addy always made him happy even in his numbness. She was the one that was always there or as much as she could be. Addy came home to him right after school, she stayed with him on the weekends until he dad forced her to come home, and when she was there Jerome didn’t leave her side no matter what she was doing. His head rested on her shoulder as she did her homework, she would sit in his lap letting him bury his head in her chest. Addy made the numbness bearable by always telling him she loved him, she missed him, and staying with him even as he sat in a daze. Addison was willing to do anything for him. She would always give him his second pill before she had to go home. She would always feed him by hand and she would even bathe him herself just to make sure he did it. Once when he was so hot he felt like he was burning up, Addison took his hand leading him into the bathroom, and stepping inside the shower with him fully clothed she turned on the water. As the water rained down on him, Addison stood behind him her arms wrapped tight around him, and as she whispered her love for him she was right there getting all wet with him. Just for him. And at the end of the night, when the time came for him to take his second pill it was always Addy that gave it to him. She would feed him dinner, by hand if she needed to, then she would sit on his lap giving him the pill then a glass of water. Addy would hold him when his stomach started to churn and help him back to bed.   
Only when Charlie came home from work would Jerome look at her knowing it was time for her to leave him. It was time for it to begin all over again. Like Charlie did when she left, Addison always kissed him on the forehead before she left. She would touch his cheek making an unspoken promise to be back the next day. Jerome would always hate when she had to leave and preferred the nights when she could stay. When he could go to sleep with his head buried in her chest. Jerome would feel her right by his side as his eyes closed and he knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Addy always stayed with him until he fell asleep. Then Jerome would wake up the next day for it all to begin again.


	38. Given Up

When two weeks passed and Jerome’s condition was still the same that was when everyone started to worry. He hadn’t spoken since going into that zombie state. He wouldn’t even get out of bed now though and to them it was like he was giving up. And when he did stumble from beneath his sheets Jerome was still a zombie walking around lifeless. It was like he wasn’t there anymore and had been replaced by something else. A ghost of the boy they all loved so much.   
“This can’t go on,” exclaimed Charlie to Kristen when she came to look in on him.   
“He’s dying…maybe not physically, but he’s not getting any better. You have to do something. Put him on different because these ones aren’t helping him. If anything, they’re doing nothing, but hurting him. I can barely get him to eat now and he won’t say a word. You need to do something,” whispered Addison her desperation clear in that moment as she watched him through his open bedroom door her arms wrapped around herself. Jerome was just lying there on his side staring at all of them as they stood just outside the door. He didn’t look like he even really saw them. As she looked at him, Addison had a thought; what if he had given up and was really laying there just hoping to die. That was the last thing she wanted as she met Kristen’s eyes again.   
“Addison, you have to remember he’s still adjusting to the pills. Everyone adjusts at their own pace and though he is taking a little longer than usual…I’m confident he’ll come out of this,” said Kristen not hiding her own concern from them for she had the same thought; maybe Jerome had given up.   
“I had hoped he would be fully adjusted by now…if this does continue any longer…I will find him something else, but I just want to wait a little longer. We have to consider that this is not just about the pills. If Jerome doesn’t want the pills to work they won’t…he could be that way because that’s what he wants,” said Kristen hoping that was not the case even as she said it. That would not just mean that Jerome had given up, but it could mean he was suicidal. She looked at Addison in that moment and it didn’t have to be said; Kristen knew she had had the same thought.   
“What do you mean?” whispered Charlie pacing the small expanse of her room her hands going through her hair.   
“Jerome is taking longer than I thought to adjust…I think he’s given up…that he wants to be this way. It’s really a type of depression…it is one of the side effects of the pills, but I also think that that is only part of it. Jerome is making the depression worse I think because of his own mindset,” exclaimed Kristen watching as Charlie stopped pacing, Addison started to cry, and Oliver just stood there his eyes on his brother.   
“So, he might be what…suicidal? We need to watch him all the time or we might find he’s slit his wrists or something?” whispered Oliver his own eyes filling with tears as he spoke.   
Again, Addison had that thought that maybe she would lose Jerome.  
“Is it already too late? Is there nothing we can do?” whispered Addison in that moment looking solely at Jerome taking a tentative step towards the doorway.   
“No, sweetie…don’t give up on him. We can’t give up. Jerome can still come back we just have to keep letting him know that we’re here. That we love him,” whispered Kristen moving closer to Addison her hands on her shoulders.   
“Can we do that?” said Oliver before another voice cut him off.  
“We’re going to do that…Jerome would for us,” exclaimed Addison rounding on all of them in that moment.   
“We will do whatever we can to make Jerome happy. We will do whatever we can to get him through this. We can’t lose Jerome,” exclaimed Addison letting them all see how scared she truly was.  
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” whispered Charlie sharing a knowing look with Oliver, for they both knew Addison was scared in that moment, and looking at their brother they silently smiled because he was lucky to have her. Jerome was their brother and anyone else might have been offended by her insinuations, but they weren’t. They knew she was just as, if not more, scared then they were. They all knew they had to do whatever they had to so that they got Jerome back. When Kristen went into Jerome in that moment she stopped in front of Addison gently touching her arm.   
“He’s going to be okay,” whispered Kristen.   
“I know, he’s got to be. I love him…I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him,” whispered Addison accepting a hug before letting her proceed forward to Jerome. But as she did Addison didn’t take her eyes off Jerome. Part of her was still afraid she would never get him back. Kristen entered the room to find Jerome staring blankly at the ceiling. He was still there, but also not there. Somehow, he had managed to roll onto his side, but he was still like a zombie. He just stared up not even looking at her and that more than anything else broke her heart. But it also worried her. Touching Jerome’s cheek, Kristen hoped he would react, but he didn’t even flinch. He just laid there with no reaction at all.   
“Jerome?” whispered Kristen again receiving nothing in response to his own name.   
In that moment, Kristen found herself looking away from Jerome, and looking towards the doorway she saw exactly what she expected to see. Addison was still standing in the doorway tears running down her cheeks. It was a sight that broke her heart as she stood from the bed leaving Jerome and approaching the girl once more. Again, Kristen pulled her into a hug, and as Addison sobbed she held her. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for her, seeing someone she loved as much as Addison loved Jerome laying there like that. And leaving the room with Addison in tow Kristen only hoped he came out of it because if he didn’t she honestly didn’t know what she was going to do. Kristen left after that leaving them to try and save him. When she did, Addison wondered back into Jerome’s room sitting by his side at the bed, but just as he always did Jerome only laid there. Even when she took his hands intertwining their fingers like she always did. That made Addison cry more hearing as Charlie and Oliver entered the room behind her. He was still staring blankly at the ceiling.   
“You okay, Addison?” whispered Charlie both her and Oliver coming up behind her.   
But Addison couldn’t find the words to describe how she was feeling. She only continued to watch him and that was when her tears came again only stronger this time. She loved him so much, what if he was like this forever? She loved him and looking at him she knew she would stand by him, but crying more she also knew that she didn’t want to lose him. This wasn’t the future she wanted with him.   
“Can I stay with him tonight?” whispered Addison feeling Charlie’s hand on her shoulder as more tears followed the question.   
“Of course, sweetie…you’re family. You know that you are always welcome here…we love you,” exclaimed Charlie hugging her tightly from behind. Addison hugged her back grabbing her hands and in that moment, nothing was said. They only held each other sharing their tears. They were both so afraid that they had lost him forever.  
“I can’t lose him, Charlie…he’s all I have,” exclaimed Addison feeling as Charlie squeezed her tighter. Oliver wrapped his arms around them too. Together they cried and nothing was said. Addison had already said what they were all thinking and voiced the fear in all their hearts.   
“Jerome will come back to us…we just have to do what Kristen said. We have to let him know that we love him…that we’re here,” sobbed Charlie wrapping her arms around both Addison and Oliver her eyes lingering on her brother as he laid motionless in the bed. Leaning forward after a moment, she placed her hand over his and Addison nudging Oliver to silently tell him to do the same. When he did they sat there in silence and in that moment, they hoped Jerome knew they were there. They were there and they weren’t going anywhere because they loved him. After a moment, they left Addison alone with him, and when the door closed with a click Addison leaned forward kissing his cheek.   
She leaned her head against his and all she wanted in that moment was for him to turn his head and look at her. But he didn’t. Jerome still lay there motionless not even blinking as he stared. That was when Addison cried harder than she thought she ever could as she crawled up into bed with him. She wrapped her arms around him always hoping he would do the same. But he didn’t, Jerome knew she was there, though still, he didn’t move a muscle. They laid in silence, Addison always holding tightly to him, but that was the only response she got. Silence, only silence. In fact, the room was silent, except for the low hum that her tears left in the air as they left her eyes. Jerome only laid there unmoving and that’s what made Addison begin to scream low into his chest her tears still as present as they ever were.   
“I love you, Jerome Valeska. I love you and someday I am going to marry you, but first I need you to come back to me. Please come back to me, I can’t lose you,” sobbed Addison making him look at her, his face in her hands now.   
“Come back to me,” breathed Addison their foreheads touching.


	39. Returning

“Will this be my life…the way I’m meant to spend the rest of my life?” thought Jerome still in his zombie state deep down barely able to feel or experience anything around him experiencing only this haze that was sometimes replaced with a high-pitched buzz.   
“I would rather be dead,” thought Jerome for longer than a split second letting the whiteness that blocked his vision stay by choice because he couldn’t stand to see the ones he loved look so sad anymore. It was a state he wasn’t always sure he wanted to leave until one day he wanted out of it more than any word he could ever form could describe.  
“Addy?” Jerome whispered her name in a single thought that day when her voice filled the existence he found himself in.   
“I love you, Jerome Valeska. I love you and someday I am going to marry you, but first I need you to come back to me. Please come back to me, I can’t lose you,” Addy’s voice was all he could hear.   
It sounded like she was crying, but as much as he wanted to, Jerome just couldn’t seem to focus on her. He found himself screaming her name into the confines of his head, but he heard only silence in return. The silence was unbearable in that moment, he just wanted her voice to surround him once more, and the longer the silence lasted the more Jerome wanted out of this place where he found himself trapped. But then he felt it. It told him that though he could not feel her, Addy was still there with him. He knew that just by the warm tingle that surrounded his body; it reminded him of the tingle he felt when he first realized he loved her. Part of him knew it had to be her. But then her voice returned giving him a reason to keep going.   
“Addy!” Jerome screamed in his head again as her voice sounded like that of a goddess all around him.   
“Come back to me,” came Addy’s voice and suddenly he felt very warm. Jerome suddenly felt like he could feel again; he started to wake up. This act of waking up turned out to be a process only he noticed. Jerome felt it more and more with each passing day though even when he could see the faces of his family again he couldn’t tell them what was happening. Though he tried, god, how he tried. And then he broke free altogether. His movements were still slow on that fateful morning, Jerome woke up from sleep only to find for once he was waking up. His eyes drifted open and in the gray light of the not yet morning, Jerome never felt so happy as he looked at the wall for the first time finding even something as simple as it beautiful. But his eyes didn’t linger on it. They soon left it to look at the person that he could feel holding tight to him even in sleep. That person was warm, soft with skin like feathers, maybe better, and as his finger slowly started to move Jerome felt his grin appearing. He knew that softness, it could only belong to one girl. His girl.   
Looking down, Jerome found Addison there her face hard to see from its place buried in his chest, and breathing a heavy breath he silently hoped it would wake her up.   
“God, she’s beautiful,” thought Jerome part of him not sure what his voice would sound like when he finally spoke after so long.  
“Addy?” breathed Jerome finding when he did talk he could barely speak his voice so low it failed to make her budge leaving him to watch her still not failing to notice the tear stains that ruined her face and the desperate way she held herself right to him.   
“Baby girl?” breathed Jerome again trying to make his voice louder this time, but failing as he slid his hand up her back only then did she stir. And then she was awake, completely awake. Addison snapped her head up to look at him making her neck crack loudly, so loudly that even he heard it, and a deep silence commenced as they stared. Jerome could hear her heart pounding, he could hear each breath that left her body as she processed what was happening. For a moment, he even thought he could hear the wheels in her head turning. He knew she had been waiting for him to come back to her for far too long.   
Addison already had tears brimming her eyes and then suddenly when he dared to run his fingers through her hair they broke free.  
“Jerome?” whispered Addison her voice nothing, but a quiver almost.   
“Addy?” whispered Jerome in response wanting to tell her he couldn’t leave her waiting anymore, but the words just wouldn’t come. His voice was stronger now, but still so hoarse she still only barely heard him. But still it didn’t change a thing for either of them in that moment. He was back, he had come back to her just as she had been begging him to for so long, and that was all she needed to know. That was all she wanted to know.   
“Oh baby…you came back,” said Addison her voice nearly a shrill scream as she burst even more into tears her hands stroking his face as she covered every piece of pale skin in her kiss. This lasted so long, but their time apart had lasted so much longer that Jerome didn’t care how long it lasted. He let her smother him in love and hold him so tight. He knew she would never let him go, not after what they had been through, but then she stopped so suddenly that it scared him. Looking at her once more, Jerome found her looking at him, and he knew she was simply taking him in. And he let her. She stared at him like he was a dream that would soon vanish and Jerome found all he could do was stare right back.   
“Don’t scare me like that…I was afraid you weren’t coming back,” whispered Addison her breathing heavy as she touched her forehead to his feeling as he only nodded. Afterward, they laid in a motionless body together. Neither of them moved to get up or say a thing because they didn’t need to. In truth, they needed this, to have this silent moment of reunion together, but even that ended with a single creak as his bedroom door opened. Charlie’s voice followed that sound and only then did they both move facing her as she stood a dark faceless figure in the doorway. When she saw her brother move, really move, for the first time in so long Charlie caught her breath, and took a single step into the room. She released a gasp then, a gasp that was meant to be his name, but when released was only gibberish.   
“Jerome…he’s back…he…he’s alright,” exclaimed Addison more tears following the statement. The words left her lips just as Oliver appeared behind Charlie and he was the first to run forward. Charlie followed behind him though her steps were slower, almost scared, as if afraid if she touched him or went near him he would go back to the way he had been.   
“Thank god,” said Charlie finally and it was then Jerome had all three of them wrapped around him engulfing his body in their love. Jerome’s return was something to be celebrated that day. The day began with a celebration over breakfast that he knew he would never forget and even as he sat around the table with them again that one emotion was still there. Relief, relief that he had gotten back to them, but also that they hadn’t given up on him in their wait.   
“Are you glad to be back?” whispered Addison her body in the crook of his arm as he sat at the table his thoughts flitting from place to place until looking at her he couldn’t find the words again choosing only to smile and nod; even though technically he hadn’t gone anywhere, Jerome still had missed this place, her, his siblings, and kissing her he knew he never wanted to leave again. That was until the very pills that made him as he had been were set down in front of him in the same moment as his breakfast.   
“I’m sorry, J, but you have to still take them. At least until Kristen comes and says otherwise,” said Charlie clearly not liking it any more than he did. Everything got deadly quiet in that moment, Addy just kept staring at the pills as they sat against the linoleum of the table while Oliver refused to look at them altogether. It was an awkward moment made more so by the intense seemingly unending silence. Jerome looked at them at first, part of him was afraid they would make him go ten steps backwards, but then he felt Addy’s hands gripping his bicep. His eyes lingered on her speechlessly, it was like he wanted her to suddenly tell him what to do, but she only looked back telling him nothing at all. At first her silence was frustrating, but then he realized it was as it always was with them. Words weren’t needed; she was already telling him what to do. This time, she wasn’t going to let him take those backward steps.   
Taking the pills in hand, Jerome stared at them a moment more until suddenly he took them all at once downing his orange juice right after. Addy fed him a mouthful of egg then making him smile as he swallowed. Jerome had to look at her then before he did anything else. Locking their eyes once again spoke whole sentences, but this time hers were once again accompanied with tears. Those tears made her wrap her arms around him and nothing was said with or without words as she just held him to her one of her hands coming to touch his cheek. Minutes later as her hands held only one of his arms, Addison leaned heavy against him still the tears like a hurricane surrounding her face until with that same snap of the neck from before she was gazing intently at him. A moment of silence was all there was before she kissed that same cheek allowing him to lay his head atop hers after.   
“I love you,” breathed Addison in that moment not needing to hear it back. She just needed him to know that’s how she felt. And he knew, oh boy, did he know.   
That first day, to Jerome, was the fastest day of his life. He had never experienced anything quite like it, not even when he first came back from Arkham. He wanted the time to slip by like sand, but instead it acted just like it was, time. It sped by, each precious moment gone before he wanted it to be. Suddenly, Jerome found himself in the bathroom, he needed a shower, but he didn’t turn the water on.   
“I look older almost,” thought Jerome peering at his image in the mirror especially the beard that was trying to grow on his face. Addy appeared in the mirror behind him, she wrapped her arms around him, and searching her eyes he wondered what she was thinking. She didn’t tell him. That was something Jerome never found out once again silence was all around them even her eyes were silent. Jerome knew though, she didn’t care about his appearance; she was just happy to have him back.   
His eyes didn’t leave her for a long time. Truth is, they didn’t want to, he was forced by his very eyes to stare mesmerized at her. Addison was the one that turned on the shower, it was her who tested it making it just as hot as he liked, and as he watched her do so Jerome couldn’t stop his smile. She truly did know him better than anyone possibly better than he knew himself. But then she was turning back to him a silent observer or caretaker even taking his hand to tug him forward. She had caught him looking at her as she tested the water, she had missed his eyes on her. Gripping his shoulders, she leaned her head against his chest in that moment. It was their tiny alone moment only this one wasn’t interrupted like before. It was just them, in complete silence as seemed to be their way, and as their eyes met they both smiled. They liked it that way.   
“I missed you,” said Addison lowly her smile a mere crinkle on her face as she ran her hands down his chest.   
“I missed you too,” said Jerome feeling her fingers under his shirt lifting it off in that moment as she started to help him undress.   
She may have been taking his clothes off, but this moment wasn’t about sex. They had never been highly sexual; this moment was about their reunion more than anything else; it was her taking care of him as she would do someday as his wife. It was simply a woman helping the man she loved and him letting her. It was simply him enjoying the feel of her fingers on his skin again. That was why she tried to leave as soon as she was through. Addison was moving to leave when he grabbed her hand. Standing before her naked, Jerome held her in place, and lifting her own tank top over her head he tossed it aside not breaking eye contact with her.   
“Don’t go,” whispered Jerome holding her gaze. Addison let her hands find his chest part of her wanting to say no. She thought he might need this time to himself, but then as always, his eyes told her otherwise. He wanted time with her, alone. That was why she let him continue to undress her not saying a word as he did.   
“Jerome?” whispered Addison as he started to lead her towards the shower steam already rising from the water and once inside nothing happened; they stood beneath the spray in each other’s arms her head on his chest making sure his heart was beating as his head held hers. The moment was pure and something neither of them would forget. It was something unknown to many, it was just them standing in love beneath the hot burning spray of the water. Jerome began to absentmindedly run his fingers through her wet hair, it was that that made her look up at him. Jerome felt the look in her eyes before he knew what it was. It was like all the emotion she had felt while he was away was stored in the depths of her eyes and the longer she looked at him the more he felt it. The desperation, the sadness, the fear, but most of all the undying love. It had him pulling her closer. At that she let all those emotions loose and grabbing his face in her hands Addy kissed him in a way he couldn’t remember her ever doing before. It nearly made him fall over. Addison held his face tight in her grasp, she held him like he would slip into that zombie state again if she didn’t. And it was fueled by that scared terror filled love that he had seen in her eyes. Her lips slowed against his then though that type of kiss being replaced with something much more tender.   
“Addy?” said Jerome in between kisses melting with her into this much sweeter kiss feeling as her tears returned.   
“Don’t leave me like that again…I won’t lose you, Jerome,” gasped Addison her lips still against his even as she spoke her breathing getting heavier with every word. And then they were looking at each other again. She stood in front of him completely bare, not just her body, but her heart, her soul even. That had him touching her cheek and when her hand covered his he felt that warmth he had felt from inside that haze once again. It made him smile; it had been her. In that moment, Addison just peered up at him that look was still in her eyes, and still not looking away she said what he already knew.   
“I love you, Jerome Valeska, I love you, and I will for the rest of my life no matter what should happen to us,” whispered Addison hugging him tight her hands gripping his back.  
“I love you, too,” said Jerome only holding her in that moment.


	40. Who is Jerome, really?

“Jerome—you’ve been…awake for about a week now. How do you feel…does everything seem normal yet,” whispered Kristen sitting with him in his room quietly until now? She had waited a week to give him time to adjust since his ordeal, but watching him now, she honestly couldn’t tell if it helped. Jerome only sat there quiet not answering at first. He seemed nervous around her. Like if he said the wrong thing she’d send him right back to Arkham which scared her. He was her nephew, he should know that her of all people, his aunt, would never do that. The truth was Jerome didn’t know how to answer that question. He didn’t know how he felt or how he was supposed to feel. The pills had him feeling all over the place, like he was one way one minute another the next second. In many ways, he didn’t know how he felt, but he didn’t know if he should tell her that. Part of him wasn’t sure.  
“I don’t know. The pills make me feel different from one second to the next. I can’t be sure, but all I do know is I’m not like I was,” said Jerome running his hands over his face as if he was exhausted. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. To go back to when things were good, before everything, before his mother, before he killed her, and especially before he got sent to Arkham. It seemed like that was impossible though. Like this was going to be his life. Jerome still wasn’t sure how he felt about that.   
“The pills will do that…but that will change. Soon you’ll learn to distinguish their effects from everything else, I promise,” said Kristen his words stopping her original train of thought making her game plan swerve to be something else entirely.   
She had to get to the true Jerome, the human Jerome; the one that was both the one replayed on TV and the boy she had practically helped raise.   
“Jerome, I’m going to ask you some questions…simple questions, and I want you to answer them honestly, ok,” said Kristen watching as he simply nodded his head.  
“When you think of Oliver—what’s your happiest moment with him. Any moment you choose…it has to be something that represents happiness for you,” explained Kristen trying to be gentle. Jerome smiled immediately, it made her smile too. She liked seeing that smile, the one that was a cross between TV Jerome, and the one she knew. Maybe that Jerome wasn’t gone, but lost.  
“We were little…I was like ten and Oliver was so small then, and we found his dog, Banjo. He was a puppy and we brought him home even though we didn’t think Charlie would let us keep him. When she did, we were so surprised. She even let him sleep in the bed with us, which turned out to be a bad idea because he ended up pissing all over us both, but it was still nice. We had a new friend—it’s the first time I remember us being happy…the first time I remember Oliver smiling since Lila tossed us out,” whispered Jerome his smile faltering towards the end.  
“What about something sad? Tell me what you think of when you consider your unhappy times with Oliver?” said Kristen staying professional. She hated it though, she would have loved to stick just to the happy memories, but that wasn’t what therapy was about. It was about getting to understand someone on a deeper level. Understanding every part of them, not just the happy, sad, and everything in-between.   
“Just before I left to be with Lila this last time, Oliver kept trying to go with me. We got into this huge fight…I was trying to protect him…it just came out. I called Oliver a fag…not to hurt him, but to keep him from going. I knew it would make him mad enough that he’d walk away. I don’t know if he remembers, he hasn’t brought it up, but I didn’t…I didn’t mean it, I swear,” said Jerome zooming through the story quicker than before. Kristen gently placed her hand on his shoulder in that moment letting her professionalism fall. She knew Jerome loved his brother. She knew he did what he did to protect him because he wasn’t as strong. If he had followed Jerome, Lila would have torn him to pieces. And drying his tears time passed sleepily until the time came when Kristen knew she couldn’t console him anymore. She had to move on.   
“Let’s go back to the happiness, huh, let’s talk about Charlie. Tell me something, a memory you have of Charlie that makes you happy,” whispered Kristen making him look at her as she pressed a box of tissues into his hands. Jerome didn’t answer for a long time, his mind was still with Oliver, in that moment before, but then that disappeared to a much better one.   
“When we lived with her, Lila, I remember being scared all the time. Charlie always made it better. Her, Oliver, and I always shared a bed; she would hold us in her arms when we were afraid—she’d sing to us. Somehow, it made the fear go away…it didn’t make things better, but the fear was gone,” said Jerome crying as the memory played.   
“Rock a bye…don’t you cry, when you wake, you will find…all the pretty little horses. She made Lila disappear without having to kill her,” whispered Jerome suddenly making Kristen smile, she knew that song; she used to sing it to Charlie when she was small when she’d come to visit Lila, and she had learned it from her mother, but with those last words that smile faded. Jerome regretted saying it out loud, but he couldn’t bring himself to, after all, she had asked for the truth, but still he just wanted to forget about what he had done for a while. He didn’t regret killing Lila, but he didn’t want to see the look they all gave him when he admitted it. That when he thought about what he had done he was glad.   
“I’m sorry, but we have to talk about the sad. What’s your saddest moment with Charlie?” said Kristen gently. She was shocked though when her answer finally came bursting from his mouth before she was expecting it to. He looked her dead in the eye and said it with a shaking crack in his voice.   
“When I showed up at the door, in the rain, when everybody thought I was dead. The look I saw in her eyes…I’d never seen it before…in other people I liked it, but not in hers. She was afraid—of me…not exactly like them, but she was. I saw she was relieved I was alive too, but I’ll never forget that look in her eyes. I hate that sometimes I still see it,” exclaimed Jerome.   
“Did you not expect that after what you’ve done, Jerome,” whispered Kristen the words slipping out leaving a silence behind as they just hung there in the air.   
“I’m sorry, Jerome…I, I understand if you want to wait to talk about that,” said Kristen gently already seeing that he was not ready, far from it, and it left her unknowing where to go next; after all there was only one person central to his life who hadn’t been mentioned yet.   
“We’ll just move on…we haven’t talked about Addison yet,” said Kristen gently making them both lean back though for reasons each all their own. Addison seemed to be who he clung to since he awoke, he showed her affection, he showed all his family affection of course, but with Addison it seemed to be different. She was the only one he said I love you to out loud. Part of her envied the love they shared while another didn’t understand it. How could they have found it when they were so young? She had noticed it immediately and watching him she wondered why he still clung to her as he did. Was it just because he loved her? Was it because of the understanding they seemed to have? Kristen didn’t altogether understand it.   
“What’s your happiest memory with Addison?” whispered Kristen that question just hanging there in the air.


	41. Addison

“Wow,” thought Kirsten, it was the only word that could describe the look in his eyes, the look that covered his face as the question about Addison hung in the air. Something in that look told her that there just weren’t words to describe the relationship the two shared. There was a smile on his face. The type of smile that seemed to lighten the tension that had filled the room until that moment, a smile that the world didn’t know was real. Not the hysterical one on tv or the one that crossed his lips when he sat around with his family, but a smile. A tender, light hearted smile. Kirsten decided immediately to call it his Addison smile. His eyes came next, they were glowing. Not in the malicious way she had seen, but it was glow that could only be known as a type of love. His love for Addison was in his eyes. A love that was only usually seen in romance novels and Kirsten silently wondered if that was the kind of love they shared.   
Kirsten didn’t know why, but she found herself feeling jealous of what they shared. Jerome and Addison were so young, but look what they had. The type of love she could say with certainty that she had never experienced and yet looking at them it just astounded her. How did they find each other, fall in love, and yet were they even old enough to know exactly what they had? How lucky they were to have it? Looking at him as he sat speechless, Kirsten waited for an answer.   
“I can’t name just one moment. It’s different with Addison,” whispered Jerome leaning back against the pillows on his bed.   
“Different…in the way that she’s not family or different because she doesn’t treat you differently,” said Kirsten gently still not quite understanding.  
“What is it about Addison, Jerome? What does she do that no one else does?” whispered Kirsten watching as he played idly with his hands. She watched as Jerome seemed to struggle with his answer. He didn’t seem to know it himself, but then that smile returned. It was like he finally found the answer for himself and it was the answer to every question he had ever had. That was the only way she could describe that smile.   
“Addy doesn’t do anything different. She loves me, and I know she loves me and it’s because of everything that happened that I know that. She does the same thing that Charlie and everybody else does, but it’s like you said she’s not family. Addy could have walked away, but she didn’t. She’s here because she loves me,” said Jerome smiling seeming to relax in that moment as he grew silent.   
“Do you worry about her leaving someday?” whispered Kirsten still trying to understand the love they shared.   
“No! If Addy was going to leave she’d already be gone. She wouldn’t have traveled this far with me. She’s with me for the long haul…Addy is the love of my life, and she’s here even though she doesn’t need to be. It’s not like we’re family, it’s not like with the others; Addy is here because she loves me,” exclaimed Jerome. Finally, she thought she was beginning to understand as she watched tears gather in Jerome’s eyes. Inching closer, she took his hand, and finally got him to look her dead in the eye. Everything seemed to be there in those eyes.   
“That’s why you can’t choose just one moment you’ve had. Unlike everyone else she’s given you more than one,” said Kirsten smiling sweetly as he nodded immediately. Slowly, that jealous feeling fell away, and Kirsten felt another feeling come upon her. Hope. Hope that one day she would feel something like that about someone. Kirsten wanted to continue, but a knock at the door brought their session to an end.   
With a pause, Charlie entered already looking apologetic.   
“Hay, I’m sorry, but the detective just called he’s coming later,” said Charlie moving to leave as quickly as she came. Her words seemed to stop everything. A silence engulfed the whole room and when their eyes met again Kirsten saw a fear there that she couldn’t explain at first glance. Finally, he took a deep breath, a heavy sigh leaving him, and squeezing his hand she tried to get back to where they were.   
“You okay?” said Kirsten their eyes still locked.   
“Yeah, I guess so,” whispered Jerome breaking eye contact. He didn’t want her to read him in that moment. He just wanted to run, to be anywhere, but here when Gordan arrived. But then he couldn’t do that. That would only lead to exactly what he didn’t want.   
“Jerome, be honest with me,” said Kirsten sternly.   
“Every time Gordan comes I get scared. Scared he’s going to see something or change his mind and take me back…to Arkham,” whispered Jerome giving Kirsten the sudden overwhelming need to hug him. She did, moving over to the bed, and engulfing him. Jerome hugged her back and sighed again his heart pounding.   
“Come on, we’re done for today,” whispered Kirsten exiting the room with him and of course, Addison was standing there, and somehow it was like she knew.   
It was like they were connected. Heart to heart, and that told her he needed someone. Addison made sure she was there, she showed her love for him just in the way she grabbed his hand drawing him off to the side where no one knew what they were doing, but them.   
“You okay, baby?” whispered Addison as they stood nestled away in their own little corner her hands gently cupping his face. He nodded his head, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They had lost that glow Kirsten had seen before and kissing his lips Addy pulled him close.   
“Leave with me right now. You need to get out of this trailer, you haven’t left since you woke up,” whispered Addison knowing that he needed a break. She could see how overwhelmed he felt. How scared he was and her instinct to protect him was awoken by it.   
“Can’t, Gordan’s coming…don’t want to risk him sending me back to Arkham,” whispered Jerome telling her with that simple sentence what he was afraid of.   
“No one’s taking you anywhere. I won’t let them,” said Addison immediately looking deeply into his eyes seeing there how much he wanted to say yes. He was stressing himself out and she knew that was the last thing he needed to do.   
“We’ll be back before he gets here. It won’t help for you to be stressed out, baby,” whispered Addison taking his hands to gently tug him closer. Jerome knew she was right and so did everybody else as Addison led him through the trailer. When they got outside, Jerome leaned against the door, and Addison fell into his arms.   
“Thanks,” whispered Jerome feeling as she nodded. Addison stood there with him and all was silent as Addison listened to the beating of his pounding heart. It scared her how fast those beats came and told her just how scared he was. Gordan was coming, he always got scared when Gordan came.   
“Come on. We’re going to go get lost. You and me; I want you to forget about everything else. It’s just you and me,” whispered Addison making him smile. They shared a kiss as they started to walk away down the road his arm thrown over her shoulder.   
“I love you,” thought Jerome leaning heavily against her feeling as she did the same. They were hanging onto each other and he thought maybe, maybe if he did, if they did everything would be okay.


	42. Thoughts

They went to the safest place they knew other then their trailer. Their spot, the place where they used to walk hand in hand, as they did now, and it was perfect. The branches of the tree moved swiftly in the breeze along with the grass making it brush against their ankles. It was a beautiful day, made more beautiful by Addison which is probably why he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Their eyes met in that moment, as Jerome had a thought; for the first time since he woke up he felt at peace. The stress that he had felt so heavily before seemed to have slipped away and Jerome knew it was because of her. Because she had taken him away from all of this, from the stress, the anxiety. Pulling her close, Jerome held her in his arms, and meeting her gaze, they shared a smile.  
“I did need to get out. That trailer gets so stuffy sometimes. Thank you,” said Jerome looking down at her with soft eyes his hand sliding along her back quietly slipping inside to caress the small of her back.   
“Welcome,” whispered Addison gently kissing his lips. Jerome hugged her close feeling as she nestled closer. With her head on his chest, they continued to walk through the grass until suddenly they stopped once more. Jerome couldn’t stop staring at her, thinking about everything Kirsten had said, and pulling her close he had a fist in her hair holding her in place as he kissed her passionately without any hesitation. It was a kiss that caused Addy to cling to him and clinging right back it was like they melted. Melted, her fingers ghosting over his skin; her lips kissed his pale skin leaving her mark.   
“In the session today, Kirsten kept asking about happiness, about sadness; we came to a conclusion. You’re the only one who makes me happy…really happy,” said Jerome his breathing heavy as she continued a growl leaving him as she suddenly stopped.   
“I’m glad I make you happy. That’s all I want, J. I want you to be happy…for us to be happy. I love you, baby. I thought Kirsten, that everybody knew that,” whispered Addison feeling as he kissed her head his hands touching either side of her face.   
“Apparently, she doesn’t understand our relationship. I treat you different,” said Jerome. Addison took his face in her hands and kissed him with a passion.   
“No one understands what we have,” whispered Jerome watching as she nodded in agreement. Jerome picked her up in that moment his arms holding her tight as she laughed. He spun them in a circle and laughed with her before sitting her on her feet again they kissed almost immediately. Everything felt so perfect in that moment as they began to walk again her head on his shoulder. As they moved forward Jerome had a thought. Jerome had thought when he was with Galavan that he hadn’t needed anyone; oh, how wrong he had been.   
Jerome hadn’t thought he needed anyone. The Maniax had been just a way to the top. Galavan had been just a man with a bag of money to him. And his family, for a moment he had actually thought they were holding him back. He had been wrong, he knew that now as he walked with her. He needed his family, he needed Charlie, and he needed Addison.   
“I won’t make it without them,”  
thought Jerome subconsciously kissing her temple knowing that without them there was no way he would survive the uncertainty that had become his life.


	43. Worry to Much

Chapter 43

“I wish we could stay here forever and never go back,” thought Jerome that conclusion still firm in his mind as he found himself laying content in the long grass with Addison, her head on his chest. Both their eyes were closed, but they weren’t asleep. If anything, they were enjoying their time alone. If anything, they were enjoying the silence, there was no screaming siblings, no one telling him it was time to take his pills; it was just them.   
“Are you happy?” whispered Jerome his question breaking the silence.  
Addison didn’t respond right away. She seemed to think about his question for a moment her eyes wide open now looking straight into his. Finally, she stretched in the sexiest way he had ever seen, like a cat before sitting up, she made him do the same.   
“I’m surprised you have to ask…can’t you tell?” Addison had whispered almost playfully gently stroking his cheek before kissing that same cheek.   
“Well…Kristen and I discovered today that you’re the one that makes me happy…I was wondering though—if I make you happy too? I mean, I know things couldn’t have been easy on you, and I’ve been all over the place,” whispered Jerome sitting in that moment a little straighter forcing Addy to give him all her attention. Addison straddled him in response taking his face in her hands. Gently, she kissed him their foreheads touching, their eyes locking.   
“Things between us have never been easy, but you should know that I’m happy, baby. Now that I have you back all I want is to keep you here with me. I love you, I hope you know that at least, and now I hope you know how very happy I am with you,” whispered Addison peppering his face with kisses as she finished. Stopping, Jerome looked at her smiling when he saw her smile big and happy at him. She wrapped her arms around him and tenderly she ran her lips over his jaw until returning her embrace they were silent once more.   
“I know, baby girl…I just had to be sure,” said Jerome slowly cuddling in the grass with her as they turned to lay on their sides facing each other finishing the sentence with a heated kiss.  
“I worry about everything now, even the things I already know…things like,” Jerome began, but once more her lips cut him off until breaking apart she shook her head. Suddenly, Jerome knew it, what didn’t have to be said; she already knew what was in his head, in his heart, every part of him.   
“Don’t explain,” said Addy desperately pulling him closer. Jerome found he could only smile in response his body moving towards hers on instinct. Slowly, they shared a kiss, a passionate, sweet kiss that only intensified when her fingers combed soothingly through his hair. Addison suddenly found herself pinned to the ground then as he parted her legs to nestled in between them. She didn’t stop him, not just because she didn’t want to, but because this felt right. Being so close to him, it felt right, and it made her feel incredibly safe.   
He felt his chest swell with pride when she purred with arousal, he could still satisfy her.   
“I love you, my beautiful, beautiful, baby girl,” breathed Jerome his lips breaking away from hers. Gently, his lips kept moving, going away from hers to the long slender slope of her neck, and reaching her shoulders he kissed each individually. Addison only continued to purr in response her fingers still in his hair making it a mess that stood atop his head. It turned him on as he continued his path over her white light skin enjoying the way it glowed. Jerome continued on that path over her skin with a gentle sensual touch. He left his marks along her collarbone continuing down. He stopped when he reached the edge of her shirt where her breasts lay incased, he was tempted to lift it over her head, to throw it in the grass, and continue on his path. But he didn’t because he couldn’t. The pills he took made it nearly impossible for him to get aroused the way he used to, sometimes it just wouldn’t happen, and now unfortunately was one of those times. That’s why he stopped when he reached her shirt looking at her with remorse in his eyes. Addy though, she didn’t care, she only brought him back to kiss her.   
“It doesn’t matter, baby, our love is about more,” breathed Addison knowing that he would know that, but saying it anyway knowing from the look in his eyes that her words helped when she looked down at him after their lips had parted.   
They shared a smile in that moment and another moment of silence as she took his face in her hands. She loved him so much, Jerome could see it in her eyes when she peered down into his face. And he loved her right back, just as much. He hoped she saw that love returned when she looked at him. He thought she was going to pull him down for a kiss then, but she didn’t. She seemed content to just look at him instead. It was like she was tracing him with her eyes and staring right back he wondered if that was what she was doing. And then she surprised him more when her hands grabbed his shoulders laying him down in the grass once more. She straddled him once more her hands secure on his chest, she didn’t say a word still only staring down at him.   
“You said once, you were scared because you had nearly lost me so many times, and before I only kind of knew what you meant, I know a lot better now. I’ve nearly lost you to your mother, to Arkham, to insanity, to Galavan, to death, and then your own mind,” exclaimed Addy her voice cracking as she remembered each time she had nearly lost him. She remained silent a moment as she collected her thoughts and as she did she felt Jerome grab her hands silently asking her to continue. But she couldn’t yet, she needed to gather her strength, or she knew she would break down.   
“I keep almost losing you and it makes me scared everyday because tomorrow or the next day or the next, it could really happen. I’m scared all the time, Jerome, but still I’m happy. I’m happy because I love you and I’m savoring the time we have before suddenly it’s cut short. I plan to make every day with you the best I can just in case someday I wake up and you’re gone. I do that so that someday we can look back and remember this time…when we were happy and in love…and remember that once we were together and in love,” exclaimed Addy her voice cracking as the tears came to fall over her like rain. Jerome squeezed her hands knowing that she was right. He also knew though that they would never be parted and looking at her he knew she knew too. But nonetheless, they both knew they were still scared.   
Sitting up, Jerome couldn’t restrain himself any more. He buried himself in her arms, he kissed the place where her heart lay, the heart that belonged to him, and feeling as she wrapped her arms around him, they shared a sigh. Then another after that and together, they sat there in silence which was turning into their thing both trying to let the worry float away.  
“We both worry to much, I guess,” said Jerome into the skin of her throat. Addison smiled in response then laughed when she looked down on him. They stared up at each other and combing his fingers through his hair, they shared another kiss.   
“Yeah, I guess, what do you think that says about us?” whispered Addison looking up at the sky then back at him only to find that he was already looking at her. Her fingers went through his hair again. She could feel him lean into her touch and it made her smile. Those pills may have kept him from showing that he wanted her in the usual way, but moments like this, Jerome showed her in other ways. She loved those ways more. That was her thought as she leaned down to gently kiss his lips.   
“It says that we love each other that we’re not going anywhere,” said Jerome kissing her face every time he saw a tear on her face loving the way she smiled when he did so. As he covered her face in kisses, Addison smiled thinking the same thing as before. This was how he showed her he wanted her, it wasn’t just sexual, it was in the way he loved her. In the way, he treated her like his queen, like the only woman on earth, and she loved it nearly as much as she desperately loved him.   
“We’re not…it’s always going to be you and me, baby,” whispered Addison kissing his forehead in the sweetest way.   
“We need to get back. We’ll face Gordon together,” said Addison knowing from the look in his eyes that he didn’t want to. He hated facing Gordon and she knew why because she hated Gordon’s visits for the same reason. But getting up they both knew they had no choice as they made their way back in the opposite direction.   
“I’m with you, baby,” Addison had said gently squeezing his hand. She had no idea how much that helped.


End file.
